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InvisibletrendalM
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Lost my Sense of Wonder...have you seen it anywhere?
    #4534324 - 08/14/05 05:28 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I started along a path long ago, before I even knew what a "path" was in Life. I didn't know what I was starting, at the time, and throughout it all had no idea where it would lead me...but it has led me here.

I do not believe in ghosts, or spirits.
I do not believe in a Soul.
I do not believe in an Afterlife
I do not believe in a God...
...because I don't believe in anything.

Instead I have this collection of theories, nearly all stemming from a life of reading the sciences. A collection of ideas that explain the world around me to a greater degree of detail than any spiritual explanation I have ever encountered. These ideas are not "The Truth"...but they do explain "The Truth" to my own satisfaction.

What I have found, as I learn and understand more about the inner-workings of the world around me, is that my sense of "wonder" has steadily declined to be replaced with mere acceptance. Some people may stop to smell the flowers and wonder at their captivating beauty and allure. I stop to smell the flowers only to see what scent they have - what chemical message they are sending to the rest of the world. They may look beautiful....but I don't wonder about that beauty any more than I wonder why concrete is hard.

I know, as a child, that I had this sense of wonder when I looked at the world around me. I could watch a bolt of lightening stab out of a tumultuous sky and be filled with an awe that I still can not explain. That awe, and the memory of it, is fading from my being even as I type this. I am not awed by lightening, anymore.

I used to think it a miracle that I was here, or that any of us were here. How could beings able to think about their own existence have occurred "naturally"? I thought, again with great awe, about how significant and meaningful our own existence must be! No longer do I see things this way. I/we are insignificant collections of molecules on an insignificant little planet revolving around an insignificant star in an insignificant galaxy. I am not awed by my own existence, anymore.

Lately I have been wondering...was it all worth it? Was I right to question the world around me so strongly? Was I right to search for truth, even if the truth I found turned out to be unspectacular? There is no going back, now, for me.

I cannot unlearn what I have learned...but can I afford to pay the cost when the cost seems so dear?

I always say "ignorance may be bliss...but I chose truth over bliss". Now I wonder if I've just been deluding myself all along. Happiness may not be a fish you can catch...but if you don't know it is a fish, you don't have to catch it to feel it.

:syringe: :thumbdown:


--------------------
You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain,
But you feel it;
You've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....
Like a splinter in your mind...
Driving you mad.


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InvisibleSwami
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Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Re: Lost my Sense of Wonder...have you seen it anywhere? [Re: trendal]
    #4534375 - 08/14/05 05:49 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Nothing like a bowl of Existential Angst with sour milk to start one's day.

I think you need to fall head-over-heels in love.


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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InvisibletrendalM
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Re: Lost my Sense of Wonder...have you seen it anywhere? [Re: Swami]
    #4534388 - 08/14/05 05:53 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

What is "love" but another chemically-induced state of mind? A natural product of the evolution of the brain?

Granted, while in the throws of said chemically-induced state...it seems nothing of the sort :smirk:

Emotion doesn't hold any wonder, either.


--------------------
You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain,
But you feel it;
You've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....
Like a splinter in your mind...
Driving you mad.


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
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Re: Lost my Sense of Wonder...have you seen it anywhere? [Re: trendal]
    #4534392 - 08/14/05 05:54 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

"Except ye be converted and become as little children, ye shall not enter the kingdom of heaven." -The Bible

"Without going outside, you may know the whole world.
Without looking through the window, you may see the ways of heaven.
The farther you go, the less you know.

Thus the sage knows without traveling;
He sees without looking;
He works without doing. "
-Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching



I cannot unlearn what I have learned...

No you cannot.

But you can Be Here Now. All knowledge is time. The Now is time-less.

Emancipate yourself from mental slavery.




--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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OfflineUnagipie
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Registered: 08/11/05
Posts: 6,300
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Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
Re: Lost my Sense of Wonder...have you seen it anywhere? [Re: trendal]
    #4534399 - 08/14/05 05:57 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I lost my sense of wonder until I visited Neverland Valley ranch


--------------------

Don't fight it. Just let the illuminados take over your mind. You be at bliss soon.


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InvisibletrendalM
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Re: Lost my Sense of Wonder...have you seen it anywhere? [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #4534401 - 08/14/05 05:57 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I am, quite obviously, here right now.

I know that's not what you mean by "be here now", but I have tried such a state of mind and it didn't change a thing.

I'll say it again: ignorance may be bliss...but I've already chosen truth.


--------------------
You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain,
But you feel it;
You've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....
Like a splinter in your mind...
Driving you mad.


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InvisibleSwami
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Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Re: Lost my Sense of Wonder...have you seen it anywhere? [Re: trendal]
    #4534413 - 08/14/05 05:59 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

So you wonder where your sense of wonder went... That is a start young Grasshopper.  :tongue:

Hey, did not see (at least consciously) your sig "existential angst" when I made my first response. Did you just change that or was my comment one of those weird *cue spooky music* telepathic coincidences?


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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InvisibletrendalM
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Re: Lost my Sense of Wonder...have you seen it anywhere? [Re: Swami]
    #4534422 - 08/14/05 06:02 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

:lol:

I think you know what I meant :smirk:

I am not awestruck by the loss of my sense of wonder.


--------------------
You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain,
But you feel it;
You've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....
Like a splinter in your mind...
Driving you mad.


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Invisibleorechron
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Re: Lost my Sense of Wonder...have you seen it anywhere? [Re: Swami]
    #4534423 - 08/14/05 06:03 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I bet snatching a pebble out of swami's hand is impossible.



Following a path of knowledge doesn't mean you can't stop every once in a while and say "that's fucking rad."


--------------------
Live by the foma that make you brave, and kind, and healthy, and happy.


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InvisibletrendalM
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Re: Lost my Sense of Wonder...have you seen it anywhere? [Re: orechron]
    #4534424 - 08/14/05 06:04 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Sure, I could say that...but I wouldn't feel it.

What's so rad about it, anyway?

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." -- Albert Einstein

Apparently I've chosen the former.


--------------------
You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain,
But you feel it;
You've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....
Like a splinter in your mind...
Driving you mad.


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InvisibletrendalM
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 19,376
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Re: Lost my Sense of Wonder...have you seen it anywhere? [Re: Swami]
    #4534429 - 08/14/05 06:05 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Hehe, no Swami, I just changed it after reading your post :smirk:

Thanks for the new title, though!

See? No mystery here...


--------------------
You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain,
But you feel it;
You've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....
Like a splinter in your mind...
Driving you mad.


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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Re: Lost my Sense of Wonder...have you seen it anywhere? [Re: trendal]
    #4534443 - 08/14/05 06:10 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Seeing as how no one else will suggest illegal activity, I will.

Try a semi-serious dose of ayahuasca and report back. :tripping:


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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Invisiblebudsicle
s?igh?tsee?r

Registered: 04/19/05
Posts: 232
Re: Lost my Sense of Wonder...have you seen it anywhere? [Re: Swami]
    #4534451 - 08/14/05 06:13 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

i find that merely walking in some nearby forest observing nature is great trip, even with all the knowledge of material nature


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InvisibletrendalM
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Re: Lost my Sense of Wonder...have you seen it anywhere? [Re: Swami]
    #4534456 - 08/14/05 06:14 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

While that is certainly something I would like to do (and have wanted to do for some time now) I can't see it bringing back any sense of wonder to my life. None of the other psychedelics I have tried (not just a few...) have done so.

Sure, while on the drug I may find myself captivated by the fractal-like quality of a tree....but as soon as the dose wears off I'm back to my old self. Beyond that, I've never been able to shake off the knowledge that I've taken a drug and, hence, cannot entirely trust the experience produced.


--------------------
You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain,
But you feel it;
You've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....
Like a splinter in your mind...
Driving you mad.


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Offlinefreddurgan
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Re: Lost my Sense of Wonder...have you seen it anywhere? [Re: Swami]
    #4534465 - 08/14/05 06:16 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

When the ayahuasca wears off his sense of wonder will be that much weaker.


--------------------
Ishmael
http://www.ishmael.org

Ron Paul 2008!
http://www.ronpaul2008.com/


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InvisibleRavus
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Re: Lost my Sense of Wonder...have you seen it anywhere? [Re: trendal]
    #4534466 - 08/14/05 06:17 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Your path will seem hard at times, but in the end it is a path few people can conclusively take. Perhaps after all this climbing up the mountain you will reach a view that few have seen?

For I have chosen a similar path you have, and can relate entirely to your post. But is all your searching about happiness? Isn't there something greater than happiness you strive for that the path of science and knowledge will lead you to?

And really trendal, what other path would you take? Would you instead embrace pseudoscience and leaps of faith and illusions simply to be happy and full of wonder, like a child who hasn't even learned arithmetic? I'd rather have knowledge and science and understanding than happiness and wonder, but you may be different.


--------------------
So long as you are praised think only that you are not yet on your own path but on that of another.


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InvisibleSwami
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Posts: 15,413
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Re: Lost my Sense of Wonder...have you seen it anywhere? [Re: trendal]
    #4534469 - 08/14/05 06:17 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Note that I specifically did not recommend any of the other psychedelics - and for a reason.

In second place would be peyote or Peruvian Torch for reconnecting.


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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OfflineGomp
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Re: Lost my Sense of Wonder...have you seen it anywhere? [Re: trendal]
    #4534471 - 08/14/05 06:18 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

lol

its right here!

:smile:


--------------------


--------------------
Disclaimer!?


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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
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Re: Lost my Sense of Wonder...have you seen it anywhere? [Re: freddurgan]
    #4534479 - 08/14/05 06:19 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

When the ayahuasca wears off his sense of wonder will be that much weaker.

No, he will wonder how he started tripping in Canada and came down in Brazil.  :sun:


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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Invisiblebudsicle
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Registered: 04/19/05
Posts: 232
Re: Lost my Sense of Wonder...have you seen it anywhere? [Re: Gomp]
    #4534481 - 08/14/05 06:20 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

no! its hiding under the carpet..


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