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i'm beginning to wonder if what people often mean by love is just acceptance. care is where you're willing to do things for them
by accepting, i mean accepting that something is real. like, i've felt angry, and have people told me i 'shouldn't be angry.' but if i am angry, then i am angry. and it sure is nice to have another person accept that i'm angry when i am.
there's this definition of love from bertrand russell: love happens on a spectrum between two poles, compassion and delight. a person without food or shelter desires compassion. but a person who has their basic needs wants others to delight in them.
i'm beginning to wonder if that's wrong. assuming others are compassionate toward me, do i really want other people to delight in every part of me? maybe i just want to be accepted for who i am.
IOW when a person wants compassion from others, they want it for pragmatic reasons, for the sake of the need itself. take a less psychological need, like hunger. if i'm hungry, i want people to give me food because i'm hungry, not because i'm all about other people giving me food.
maybe that's not what wanting to be loved means though. maybe the desire to be loved means wanting to be accepted for who and what i am.
what do you think?
-------------------- "consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger