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Liz
Owl Lady



Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 6,962
Loc: Massachusetts
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Just got this email
#4521764 - 08/11/05 11:41 AM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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I thought this was really cute, so I thought I'd share. Enjoy!!!
WHITE WOMEN First date: You get to kiss her goodnight. Second date: You get to grope all over and make out. Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.
IRISH WOMEN First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. 20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
ITALIAN WOMEN First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant. Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs. Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-carat ring. 5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex. 6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.
JEWISH WOMEN First Date: You get dynamite head. Second Date: You get more great head. Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.
CHINESE WOMEN
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens. Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again. Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already realized nothing is going to happen.
INDIAN WOMEN First date: Meet her parents. Second date: Set the date of the wedding. Third date: Wedding night.
BLACK WOMEN
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner. Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner. Third Date: You get to pay her rent. Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.
MEXICAN WOMEN First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car. Second Date: She's pregnant. Third Date: She moves in. One week later: her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Rio Grande.
The point of the story is: * * * * * * DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IRISH WOMEN?
-------------------- Remember, remember the fifth of November The gunpowder treason and plot. I see no reason why gunpowder treason Should ever be forgot.
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WeAreAllOne
Opethian

Registered: 06/25/05
Posts: 2,649
Loc: Pennsylvania
Last seen: 17 years, 10 months
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Re: Just got this email [Re: Liz]
#4521814 - 08/11/05 11:50 AM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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Haha. 
I like the part about Mexican women.
I always wondered how they fit so many in a house.
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OneMoreRobot3021


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
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Re: Just got this email [Re: Liz]
#4521823 - 08/11/05 11:52 AM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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I like my half-Czechoslovakian/half-pureAmericana lady best.
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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MeatSpace
Waxer of unicorn butthole


Registered: 12/10/04
Posts: 10,832
Loc: Deep inside your ass
Last seen: 2 years, 25 days
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Re: Just got this email [Re: Liz]
#4521829 - 08/11/05 11:53 AM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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I'm Irish and Italian, and I found that very humorous!
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/ l \__ ... Hi, I'm Crankey, and I approve this message.
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spud
I'm so fly.

Registered: 10/07/02
Posts: 44,410
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Re: Just got this email [Re: Liz]
#4521833 - 08/11/05 11:54 AM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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I found that BOOORRRRIIIINNNGGG
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Liz
Owl Lady



Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 6,962
Loc: Massachusetts
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Re: Just got this email [Re: MeatSpace]
#4521836 - 08/11/05 11:54 AM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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I'm Jewish
-------------------- Remember, remember the fifth of November The gunpowder treason and plot. I see no reason why gunpowder treason Should ever be forgot.
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MeatSpace
Waxer of unicorn butthole


Registered: 12/10/04
Posts: 10,832
Loc: Deep inside your ass
Last seen: 2 years, 25 days
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Re: Just got this email [Re: spud]
#4521842 - 08/11/05 11:55 AM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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not as boring as you!
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/ l \__ ... Hi, I'm Crankey, and I approve this message.
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WeAreAllOne
Opethian

Registered: 06/25/05
Posts: 2,649
Loc: Pennsylvania
Last seen: 17 years, 10 months
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Re: Just got this email [Re: Liz]
#4521847 - 08/11/05 11:56 AM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
ifallapart said:
I'm Jewish
What are you doing later?
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OneMoreRobot3021


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
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Re: Just got this email [Re: WeAreAllOne]
#4521848 - 08/11/05 11:56 AM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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Giving wild head, DUH!
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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WeAreAllOne
Opethian

Registered: 06/25/05
Posts: 2,649
Loc: Pennsylvania
Last seen: 17 years, 10 months
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Woot!
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Suffer
puter dork



Registered: 03/05/99
Posts: 1,090
Loc: MA
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Re: Just got this email [Re: WeAreAllOne]
#4521871 - 08/11/05 12:02 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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not to you honkey
--------------------
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gdman
badger, badger,badger...


Registered: 12/10/02
Posts: 16,286
Loc: Dancing In the Streets
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Re: Just got this email [Re: Suffer]
#4521909 - 08/11/05 12:13 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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there's crackle and pop, what's the other one?
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Got a question about a substance? Erowid might already have your answer! Have questions about the mushroom experience? The Tripper's FAQ may have your answer or someone else might have had your question before. I know up on the top you are seeing great sights, but down at the bottom we, too, should have rights. - Theodor Seuss Geisel Dr. Suess "I didn't come here to be easily understood" - Steve
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Liz
Owl Lady



Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 6,962
Loc: Massachusetts
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Re: Just got this email [Re: gdman]
#4521912 - 08/11/05 12:14 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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ohhh SNAP!
-------------------- Remember, remember the fifth of November The gunpowder treason and plot. I see no reason why gunpowder treason Should ever be forgot.
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gdman
badger, badger,badger...


Registered: 12/10/02
Posts: 16,286
Loc: Dancing In the Streets
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Re: Just got this email [Re: Liz]
#4521930 - 08/11/05 12:18 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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--------------------
Got a question about a substance? Erowid might already have your answer! Have questions about the mushroom experience? The Tripper's FAQ may have your answer or someone else might have had your question before. I know up on the top you are seeing great sights, but down at the bottom we, too, should have rights. - Theodor Seuss Geisel Dr. Suess "I didn't come here to be easily understood" - Steve
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Liz
Owl Lady



Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 6,962
Loc: Massachusetts
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Re: Just got this email [Re: gdman]
#4521938 - 08/11/05 12:21 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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that smiley reminds me of the movie Madagascar. Anyone who hasn't seen it should....it's funny.
-------------------- Remember, remember the fifth of November The gunpowder treason and plot. I see no reason why gunpowder treason Should ever be forgot.
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CaRnAgECaNdY
Tool's groupie


Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
Loc: Billy Howerdel's closet
Last seen: 7 months, 25 days
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Re: Just got this email [Re: Liz]
#4522085 - 08/11/05 01:04 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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Haha...that was great.
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The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.
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TYL3R


Registered: 11/19/04
Posts: 17,493
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Re: Just got this email [Re: Liz]
#4522157 - 08/11/05 01:24 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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What about Indiana boys ?
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KristiMidocean
fattie whale


Registered: 01/27/05
Posts: 3,702
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 9 years, 6 months
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Re: Just got this email [Re: TYL3R]
#4522191 - 08/11/05 01:32 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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I am half American Indian and half White ........ hum..... interesting lol
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I live for LNC
Edited by KristiMidocean (08/11/05 01:34 PM)
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