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InvisiblePenguarky Tunguin
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Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 17,189
What do I do here?
    #4521598 - 08/11/05 12:54 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

This is the first time I've ever posted anything like this, but I'm in desperate need of opinion. I have never been in this position before and really have no idea how to handle it.

Here's the scoop. About a month ago, I learned from a fellow employee that one of these girls I work with was interested in me. I will admit right off the bat that I was totally shocked by this. I had no idea. I mean, we flirted A LO,T all the time at work, but I thought it was just that, flirting. I knew from talking with her that she had had a roommate/friends with benefits type relationship and that the guy had one day told her that he was moving to another state to get a better job. And she was incredible hurt by this. So when I was told she was interested in me, I didn't know how to take it.

I guess I was surprised because I'm 22 and she's 30. And she is one of the coolest chicks I've ever met. She had her head on straight, was working 2 jobs, 7 days a week to pay off her bankruptcy that she was going through.

Well, after I heard she was interested I immediatley started wanting to hang out with her and we did. Nothing really special, just going out to dinner, smoking weed on the back portch of my house and just getting to know eachother. Then one night, me and her went drinking at the local bar and she got completely hammered and at the end of the night, I wouldn't let her drive home as she couldn't even stand up straight. I, myself, had only 3 beers, so I was fine. So I sat with her in the parking lot of the bar after it had closed for close to 3 hours talking to her about things. She went on to tell me how she felt about me and I told her what I felt about her, knowing she was drunk. The next day, I tried talking to her about it and she said she didn't remember a thing. Which, of course, I didn't like at all. But I let it go.

Last week she went on vacation and got back two days ago. And the first person she contacted was me, when she got in the door. I was at work and I went on my lunch break and she stopped by. We were both incredibly happy to see eachother, even though we only got to see eachother for about 20 minutes. And it may be the last time I ever talk to her.

I found out yesterday, that she was arrested at work for stealing from the company, and not just some petty theft, we're talking big money here, thousands of dollars worth. She didn't even get a bail amount set. I'm in total shock, I have no idea how to react. For the first time in a long time, I dont have any words or opinions of what is going on. I feel an incredible sorrow that she is now sitting in jail, alone, with only a small amount of people knowing where she is. I'm scared for her. But is this ok to think like that? Do I feel sad for her, hurt that she did this, pity, disgust, sorrow? What?

Do I just take a back seat and just wait and see what happens? Or do I try to do soemthing to let her know I'm there for her, if she needs me. I know she doens't have that many friends and I feel I NEED to be there for her. Half of me agrees with that last sentence, the other half says "she lied to you, this whole time, she told you she was finally getting back on her feet, and now this??" What do I do here?

I really do care about this girl, a lot actually, even though, for some reason, I get the feeling that I care way too much for her. Especially since I've only known her a few months and been getting closer to her for even a shorter amount of time. I'm incredibly frustrated at the fact that she's 30, and she pulled something like this, I just can't get a grasp on it. I really can't.

If you made it this far, I truely appreciate it and would love some opinions of what I should do.

Thanks in advance.


McKennaDMT


--------------------
Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.


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InvisibleArp
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Registered: 04/20/98
Posts: 2,191
Loc: in a van by the river
Re: What do I do here? [Re: Penguarky Tunguin]
    #4521924 - 08/11/05 02:17 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I would go and visit her. See what she has to say and take it from there.


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OfflineVulture
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Re: What do I do here? [Re: Arp]
    #4521974 - 08/11/05 02:37 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

yeah i would visit and write her and whatnot...seems like she needs soemone like you. But i wouldent save yourself for her beeing as how she might be in there for a while. just be supportive...even tho i realize you need support almost as much as she does...just remember that your free...kind of :smile:


--------------------
Work like you dont need the money.

Love like you never been hurt.

Dance like nobody is watching.


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InvisibleLiz
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Re: What do I do here? [Re: Penguarky Tunguin]
    #4523780 - 08/11/05 10:02 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Is a 30 year old woman, in the middle of a bankruptcy, who's desperate enough to steal a huge amount of money from her company the kind of woman that you really want to get into a relationship with?  She could very well wind up in jail for a long time over this....and what if the company thinks that you had something to do with it, if they know you're seeing her?  Just my 2 cents....I don't know it's something I'd let myself personally get involved in :shrug:


--------------------
Remember, remember the fifth of November
The gunpowder treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.




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OfflineCerebralFlower
whats left?

Registered: 02/09/04
Posts: 1,326
Loc: only the truth is left
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
Re: What do I do here? [Re: Liz]
    #4524062 - 08/12/05 12:01 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Its hard to say friend. Part of me wants to tell you not to get involved with her, because shes just going to hurt you in the end.
Another part of me wants to tell you to explore the situation more. Recently ive been following the second part of my advice, and getting hurt alot.


--------------------
God says dance with your heart
And shake free of you desire

Where theres a will theres always a way
When you get confused listen to the music play



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Offlineeve69
--=..Did Adam and ...?=--
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Re: What do I do here? [Re: CerebralFlower]
    #4525904 - 08/12/05 11:21 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Be nice to her. You liked her for a reason. Fuck it, she just stole from the company. Who cares about them anyway?


--------------------
...or something







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InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: What do I do here? [Re: Penguarky Tunguin]
    #4527479 - 08/12/05 07:47 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Hit it and quit it.


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Offlineprefloppro
Last Call
Registered: 05/29/05
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Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
Re: What do I do here? [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4527582 - 08/12/05 08:17 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Randal your something else. LOL.


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 93,974
Loc: underbelly
Re: What do I do here? [Re: eve69]
    #4530733 - 08/13/05 06:39 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

eve69 said:
Be nice to her. You liked her for a reason. 



:thumbup:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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Offlinenightkrawler
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Registered: 06/18/04
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Re: What do I do here? [Re: Icelander]
    #4530974 - 08/13/05 08:34 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

she was obviously pretty desperate for money. maybe she couldn't see herself getting out of bankrupsy without stealing from the company. find out if she has a criminal record(for something serious) from before this incident. if she doesn't, i'd say she was just in a tough situation in life and that's why she did it. you shouldn't agree with what she did, but you should atleast try to see it from her perspective. if she does have a serious record, well maybe you shouldn't get involved.

if she's never been in a situation like this before, she probably needs your help. go visit her, see what you can do. take it from there.


--------------------

Not all who wander are lost - J.R.R. Tolkien


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: What do I do here? [Re: nightkrawler]
    #4531146 - 08/13/05 09:53 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

nightkrawler said:
go visit her, see what you can do. take it from there.




Translated into English: Hit it and Quit it.


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InvisiblePenguarky Tunguin
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Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 17,189
Re: What do I do here? [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4536266 - 08/15/05 01:36 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Turns out it wasn't as serious as first thought. It was only about 500 bucks and most of it was still on the giftcard she was using. No previous record either. So she'll either get the case dropped or a small misdemeanor. We've hungout a lot since then. Everything might be alright. What a week!


McKennaDMT


--------------------
Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: What do I do here? [Re: Penguarky Tunguin]
    #4536369 - 08/15/05 02:02 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

McKennaDMT said:
Turns out it wasn't as serious as first thought.  It was only about 500 bucks and most of it was still on the giftcard she was using.  No previous record either.  So she'll either get the case dropped or a small misdemeanor.  We've hungout a lot since then.  Everything might be alright.  What a week!




That's great to know that it isn't very serious and you two have been hanging out.  So..........have you nailed her yet?  :smirk:


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InvisiblePenguarky Tunguin
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Re: What do I do here? [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4537510 - 08/15/05 01:05 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Not yet, working on it.  Stayed the night at her house the day she got out of jail, but we went drinking and got wasted, don't think I could have got it up even if the situation called for it.  :smile:

I'm just glad everything looks to be alright, now she just needs to find another job, cuz I can't help her in the money department at all, and I wouldn't even if I had the money.



McKennaDMT


--------------------
Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.


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OfflinePowerTrip
Polypharmaceutical Shaman
Male

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Re: What do I do here? [Re: Penguarky Tunguin]
    #4539308 - 08/15/05 08:16 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Men always fail to realize when they are with a woman who is trouble. Almost all women are trouble to some degree, but some are much more trouble than they are worth. To be honest these forums are far too "peace and love" to get real advice on how to deal with women. I leave you with one piece of advice. Don't get too attached to this one. You don't want to let her bring you down with her. If she has been alive for 30 years and doesn't understand the simple concept of stealing being wrong, who knows what else fits within her moral standards.


--------------------
I spit reality, instead of what you usually learn
and I refuse to be concerned with condescending advice
cause I'm the only motherfucker that can change my life


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 93,974
Loc: underbelly
Re: What do I do here? [Re: PowerTrip]
    #4540049 - 08/15/05 11:02 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Baloney, :thumbdown: My partner is no trouble. I am trouble sometimes for her though although she denys it. :grin:

Make up you own mind about her trust your own judgement. :thumbup:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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