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OfflineHeinous_Anus
S.D.M.F.

Registered: 08/03/05
Posts: 310
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
This Haunting Vagina Dream.
    #4519457 - 08/10/05 09:38 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

It happened again.

You know that dream where you're a giant vagina? Yeah. It happened again. The dream starts off pretty normal, well for me anyway. I'm having dream-sex with my girlfriend and then suddenly I am her. Then I am her vagina.

I am a giant vagina.

What do you do after you have a dream like this? I wake up and lay there, trying to get it out of my head. I am not a giant vagina. I am not a giant vagina. It just won't work. I settle for a bowl of Cheerios with seven spoonfuls of sugar and Bugs Bunny cartoons. You can't even masturbate after a dream like that. How am I supposed to process those images? I just can't. The sensations. The vivid imagery. I'd rather have the dream where I'm supposed to be piloting the airplane but instead I'm naked in a hot tub with Kobe Bryant and the cheerleaders from my college. I have to get to the airplane. If I don't fly that plane they'll cancel my subscription to Sports Illustrated. That dream is intense. The vagina dream is just confusing.

Why would I dream I am a vagina? I really don't understand what's wrong with my mind. Do I miss female intimacy? Is this some seriously repressed memory of my mother's vagina when I passed through it nearly 21 years ago? Are all those times my friends called me a 'Silly cunt' finally embedding themselves on my consciousness? Am I becoming what I eat?

What if we were all giant vaginas? We wouldn't really walk. We'd be like giant slugs, leaving a trail of slime behind us. We'd get our labias (labial? labials?) caught in car doors and escalators. If we were all vaginas, we'd look like giant amoebas. Instead of applauding, we'd wave our labials with glee. Hats for our clits would be the in thing. So would getting our pubes permed.

Then our perfect vagiopia would be disrupted. The fish market would be agitated. The penis invaders from the outer rim would try to take our planet by storm. Their vibrating dildo-o-matics will traumatize our world. We'll have no choice but to succumb to their constant ramming and prodding and clitoris fumbling.

Just as our world is about to be taken over by those giant dicks, our alliance with the planet of the anus will come in handy. I'm not going for the obvious joke here. I know what fucking planet they're from.

Neptune.

The battle will be legendary. The penises will try to attack us both using the 'Shocker' offense, but we'll counter with the deadly 'That time of the month' defense. The rallying cry of the twats will be heard across the galaxy. No messing with the planet of the vaginas. Their alliance with the anus planet is more powerful than the strongest hymen.

Then everyone will get AIDS and die.

Needless to say, I'm glad I'm not a giant vagina. I just wonder if it's more disturbing to have a dream where I am a giant vagina or a dream where I am a giant cock. Do you think chicks have dreams where they're giant cocks?

This would all make much more sense if I were on drugs. Or chocolate milk.

...wait, I'm allergic to chocolate.

Ah hell, I'm going to go do a shot of whiskey in the bathroom and think about my girlfriend's boobies.


--------------------


I didn't go to college. I went to Ozzy Osbourne University. - Zakk Wylde


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Invisiblethegatewaydrug
my burning sunwill some dayrise

Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 6,987
Loc: wherever i may roam
Re: This Haunting Vagina Dream. [Re: Heinous_Anus]
    #4519461 - 08/10/05 09:39 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

anyway u could make that post just a lil bit shorter


--------------------
May God have mercy upon my enemies, because i won't.

General George S. Patton
:paranoid:


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OfflineHeinous_Anus
S.D.M.F.

Registered: 08/03/05
Posts: 310
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: This Haunting Vagina Dream. [Re: thegatewaydrug]
    #4519473 - 08/10/05 09:44 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Now, I couldn't do that. It took me all of 10 minutes to write this!

Besides, if I shortened it, the whole point would be lost.

...not that there is much of a point, though.


--------------------


I didn't go to college. I went to Ozzy Osbourne University. - Zakk Wylde


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InvisibleLe_Canard
The Duk Abides

Registered: 05/17/03
Posts: 94,369
Loc: Earthfarm 1 Flag
Re: This Haunting Vagina Dream. [Re: Heinous_Anus]
    #4519480 - 08/10/05 09:47 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

I once dreamt I was a Ford Taurus (white station wagon). I have a lot of dreams where this make and model are involved somehow. I don't really want to know what this means....  :crazy:

(p.s. great essay!  :thumbup: )


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OfflineKristiMidocean
fattie whale
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Registered: 01/27/05
Posts: 3,702
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 2 years, 11 months
Re: This Haunting Vagina Dream. [Re: Heinous_Anus]
    #4519485 - 08/10/05 09:50 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

that is funny shit!!!!!!
:rotfl:


--------------------
:smile: I live for LNC :smile:


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OfflineRuNE
bomberman

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Registered: 09/24/00
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Re: This Haunting Vagina Dream. [Re: Heinous_Anus]
    #4519496 - 08/10/05 09:53 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

:lol::thumbup:


5 shrooms for you.


:sun:


--------------------
~Happy sailing~


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OfflineHeinous_Anus
S.D.M.F.

Registered: 08/03/05
Posts: 310
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: This Haunting Vagina Dream. [Re: RuNE]
    #4519510 - 08/10/05 09:57 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Well, I'm glad this is being enjoyed.

It's quite traumatic!

...well, not really. Just disturbing. That's all.


--------------------


I didn't go to college. I went to Ozzy Osbourne University. - Zakk Wylde


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OfflineHeinous_Anus
S.D.M.F.

Registered: 08/03/05
Posts: 310
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: This Haunting Vagina Dream. [Re: Heinous_Anus]
    #4520193 - 08/11/05 12:25 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Ring Ring Ring Ring Banana Phone!


--------------------


I didn't go to college. I went to Ozzy Osbourne University. - Zakk Wylde


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InvisibleYarry
Old Timer
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Registered: 01/05/04
Posts: 23,740
Re: This Haunting Vagina Dream. [Re: Heinous_Anus]
    #4520212 - 08/11/05 12:28 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

ring ring ring ring ring, ban anno phone!


--------------------
Grumpy Old Man.


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Offlinedidjin_d
mmm....
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Registered: 11/02/04
Posts: 662
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 2 months, 7 days
Re: This Haunting Vagina Dream. [Re: Yarry]
    #4520232 - 08/11/05 12:32 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

I think you need more chocolate milk



yes...more milk


--------------------
" learning how to cook will save you money, usually make you healthier, and occasionally get you laid. "
-Shags420

"Most of the people who ask the question 'Do any psilocybin mushrooms grow around here?' would rather change their way of looking at reality rather than face the difficult and discouraging task of transforming reality itself"
-David Aurora, Mushrooms Demystified


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OfflineHeinous_Anus
S.D.M.F.

Registered: 08/03/05
Posts: 310
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: This Haunting Vagina Dream. [Re: didjin_d]
    #4520241 - 08/11/05 12:34 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

I do like milk...drink it all the time.

But, nope! No chocolate to me.

For, I happen to be allergic to all forms of caffeine. Including cocoa.

DEATH!


--------------------


I didn't go to college. I went to Ozzy Osbourne University. - Zakk Wylde


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Offlinehot48yearolds
Dharmakaya
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Registered: 09/21/04
Posts: 705
Loc: lazy river road
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
Re: This Haunting Vagina Dream. [Re: Heinous_Anus]
    #4520362 - 08/11/05 01:03 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

i heard that if you transform into something in a dream than that is what you want to become in your subconsious mind.


--------------------
"Truth is more in the process than in the result."
- J. Krishnamurti




"We ourselves are not an illusory part of Reality; rather are we Reality itself illusorily conceived." Wei Wu Wei


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OfflineBrAiN
Art Fag
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Registered: 03/01/01
Posts: 6,870
Loc: Chocolate City
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Re: This Haunting Vagina Dream. [Re: hot48yearolds]
    #4520440 - 08/11/05 01:21 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Speaking of haunting vaginas... check out a sculpture by

Cathy de Monchaux

called "Chaos"


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InvisibleSkunk420
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Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 18,524
Loc: inside
Re: This Haunting Vagina Dream. [Re: Heinous_Anus]
    #4520464 - 08/11/05 01:26 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

sounds retarded, I have nevr had a dream like that at all, I think you made it up..who would dream that they were a vagina?? I have had many wet dreams..but please...:lol: yea right....I dont believe you


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OfflineHeinous_Anus
S.D.M.F.

Registered: 08/03/05
Posts: 310
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: This Haunting Vagina Dream. [Re: Skunk420]
    #4520492 - 08/11/05 01:32 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

I'm sure some other people have dreamt of being a vagina.

Well, whether it be true or not...the main thing is did you like it!?

When I grow up, I'm going to be a vagina!


--------------------


I didn't go to college. I went to Ozzy Osbourne University. - Zakk Wylde


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InvisibleSkunk420
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Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 18,524
Loc: inside
Re: This Haunting Vagina Dream. [Re: Heinous_Anus]
    #4520530 - 08/11/05 01:39 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

no sorry I have had dreams of eating vagina..licking it, fucking it...but nothing like that....I have had dreams of three women getting it on with me..and fighting about witch one wanted me the most...and it ended soon..nothing ever that good ever lasts..sounds like my reality all the time...i have had long term relations for a while, but something always fucks it up...


Edited by skunk78395 (08/11/05 01:40 AM)


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Offlinedr0mni
My Own Messiah
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Registered: 08/21/04
Posts: 2,921
Loc: USF Tampa, Fl
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
Re: This Haunting Vagina Dream. [Re: Skunk420]
    #4520693 - 08/11/05 02:14 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

HAHAHAH!! I'm glad you joined the shroomery!


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InvisibleSkunk420
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Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 18,524
Loc: inside
Re: This Haunting Vagina Dream. [Re: dr0mni]
    #4520767 - 08/11/05 02:34 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

I am glad too, I learn a lot on here, all the time in fact...this place helps me out too..


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OfflineBrilliantWhite
Educated WhiteMan
Male

Registered: 10/04/04
Posts: 96
Loc: A little to the left
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
Re: This Haunting Vagina Dream. [Re: Heinous_Anus]
    #4520795 - 08/11/05 02:41 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Youre serious about this dream? :wink:


--------------------
Who built the la-la-love?

listen to Portugal. The man

www.myspace.com/portugaltheman


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OfflineHeinous_Anus
S.D.M.F.

Registered: 08/03/05
Posts: 310
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: This Haunting Vagina Dream. [Re: BrilliantWhite]
    #4520831 - 08/11/05 02:52 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Hell yea, I'm really glad I joined The Shroomery.

I haven't tripped yet, or even grown. But, with the amount of knowledge gained here. That shouldn't be a problem.

...probably just going to be about another before I'll get the chance to trip.

I am very serious about this dream!

Would I just make up something, so deeply disturbing!?

You be the judge!


--------------------


I didn't go to college. I went to Ozzy Osbourne University. - Zakk Wylde


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