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Hello, as you can see this is my first post on Shroomery.org. I have been lurking for some time and I have to first say, thanks to this website and its devoted users, who spend a part of their life trying to understanding these incredible mushrooms and the wealth of information they share to everyone. A great community in my humble opinion.
In the last day my life has been changed in a dramatic way. I have had a number of mushroom and LSD trips throughout my life, perhaps 10 all up. But nothing prepared me for what I experienced over the 8th and 9th of August 2005!
I started by eating a small dose of 10g fresh Psilocybe Cubensis (?Golden Teachers?, cultivated by a friend, PF Cakes with Quinoa)at 8.30 in the morning on the 8th to test potentcy, smoked a small bowl of cannabis shorlty after eating them to calm my stomach waited for initial effects to start whilst I sat on a beach nearby to my house. I sat down in the sand dunes within some lush trees, overlooking the Pacific Ocean. I had also brought with me more fresh shrooms in the instance that the dose was not as potent as desired and I also had more at home. However, it was suffient to bring about a very noticeable shift in reality and I saved the rest. The characteristic breathing of the ground, and wrything of plants was noticeable, and the awesome spectacle of the ocean...I considered the initial dose good but it could be better! I knew I still had 1 foot on the ground. I found that by 1.00pm I was starting to slowly return to a baseline perception. I slowley walked home and took a nap on my bed.
I woke, ate a little dinner, then At 10.30pm I decided I really enjoyed the morning, so I decided to take a second dose of the day, of 20g fresh and chased with juice. The desired effects increased, however It wasn?t until about 12.30am the 9th of August after smoking 2 more large bowls of cannabis as I started to peak, that things started to get very strong -- like I had stepped over a threshold that I personally had never experienced.
Something was happening to me, that I will try to explain in words! I was finding it hard to walk, I was finding it hard to have a regular grasp on reality and regular space. A force of some strange discription was pulling my perception back into my head, where time and space felt very altered, pushed and pulled as if by some magnetic force. My visual acuity was high, however, my perception of time around myself, my own motion and my extremities felt highly modified and distorted. Everyday motions seemed familiar to me, however, they seemed comical, exaggerated and strange. I was highly aware of my movement at this time, just not in complete control of it and more comfortable if the movement felt natural and unforced.
The Psilocybin in combination with the Cannabis was also jarring my very being back and forth between my immediate realworld and something very visually unstable and unlike the real world, for what on afterthought may have been brief durations of time, but I am unsure. Edges to all objects became highly "furry", colours smeared violently, a fluorescent light blasted out a huge white carona with streams of particles, sound slowed to a low muffled vibration and resonance that twisted and looped in my mind.
I was enjoying many of these effects but I was confused. What mental thought process I had was trying to grasp what the hell was going on. I staggered between being semi aware of reality and time, with my long tendril like fingers wiggling out before me. I then stumbled a bit around the room, holding onto the walls, as if I were relearning gravity. I felt quite thirsty.
Pulling apart an orange at this time was and interesting experience to say the least. It was about the most complicated process I could carry out!Seeds spilt out of the fruit and it astonished me, as if I were understanding the nature of a seed for the first time, and I could see animations playing out in my head with closed eyes, of living networks growing and netting together and fruits forming. Eating the orange was not something easily put in words let me tell you! However!!!... Then it started to go beyond the fun and games of playing with food... Now it was overhwhelming me entirely!I was feeling a pure feeling blasting through my mind and spirit and I was now getting frightend!
I started to get highly aggitated. My eyes in the mirror were pools of black. My normally overactive imagination was now getting carried away with the situation. I felt that looking over my shoulder could very well be the end of my life! My belief in who I was and what greater force over saw my life was being questioned harder than ever before. I felt like I was litterally hanging by a thread, scared that I was under observation by a presence now convincing me of its power and it demanded all of my attention. I was now baffled by the entire experience. My perception of reality and answers to questions I had were now too much to bare compounded with the synergizing effects of the Cannabis. I thought to myself that I shouldn't have smoked during the trip! Time felt like it was massively distorted or frozen by this point and I for a moment there I didn't know at all was going on or even who I was. This was beyond the child like facination of pretty patterns and distortions, this was something far different to anything on this earth I had experienced! I was in awe by the power of this shroom trip!!! I felt I understood on a new level just what a powerful and devine inspiration the mushroom is. I found them far more than just psycological in effect, now, it was a spiritual experience and I ranted to myself a lot at this point and I started to think a lot about God and my exsistence. The trip became very introspective and I came to a point in the trip where I got paranoid that I had "messed around" with things I had not yet given enough respect. I asked forigveness aloud for "playing" with God's mushrooms with such disreguard and lack of forethought. I felt something very powerful comming from these mushrooms! This certainly was the peak experience. I felt very over come by this point, basically I just gave up to the effect and asked for someone to return me. A small fragment of my ego was floored by the strength I had experienced, personally it was the most profound effect from a substance I have used. However...
Suddenly all the answers didn't matter and a powerful inner peace came over me. I knew I would be OK & I knew I lived under far greater forces than myself, protecting my ego at all times and that I was merely permitted to wander or peel back a few layers during this trip. The chasm I had traversed and peered into was far deeper than I had expected! I was then euphoric for a period of time where I felt like laughing and crying at the same time. I was feeling much, much better and moving rapidly towards a strong sense of inner peace.
The rest of this experience wore off by around sunrise. I curled up on my bed. I tried to sleep as best I could. I looked up at the ceiling. I felt mentally exhausted, but incredibly happy to be me, and grounded. It helped me develop as a person and it did not hurt me at all.
I couldn't help but think for most of tonight as I wrote this about Terrence McKenna's mantra of "take a high dose...rarely, thats the correct dose". This is wisdom in my opinion and I plan to take the advice...I doubt that I will ever smoke Cannabis during the onset again however, I would like to slowley graduate to higher doses of around 40 grams fresh to learn more about the Mushroom, Myself and the Creation we live in. I feel that I took my first step into something amazing. Used with reverence they have a special place in our world in my opinion. Thats my 2 cents.
The 8th and 9th of August 05 for me will be 2 of the most beaufitul, frightening and spiritual days for the rest of my life.
*This above account feels true for me, but others may have different and obviously personal, self reflective experiences and believe in Nature and/or other dieties or entities. I respect that! Lets all learn more!*
I've had the thought many times recently that everyone wants to experience "truth", but don't know what it really means. Even telling someone about this and trying to explain to them how intense it would be doesn't seem to do any good. They just can't fathom what it means. Everyone seems to think that the whole experience would be so blissful.
I in no way have had the full-blown effects of "the truth", but have come close enough to know that the real thing would be scary as Hell to be truly "put in your place" among the universe!!
Great report and perspective!!
-------------------- Absense of evidence is not evidence of absense...
"Religion is a defense against a religious experience"
Carl G. Jung
"So really, ordinary reality is a kind of chemical habit, sanctioned by culture, which says it's okay to use certain drugs, eat certain foods, and have certain sexual behaviors. However, when you transcend all this pre-conditioning by returning to the original wisdom of the animal body, then you discover this immense dimension of opportunity. For some people, it is a frightening risk. To me, that's the psychedelic experience."
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