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InvisibleCorporal Kielbasa
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Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 17,029
THE BEST COMEBACK LINE EVER!!!
    #4511716 - 08/08/05 09:58 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

This was in the Washington Post ... the title of the article was "Best Comeback Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA,
in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday.

Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles.

At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his need.
"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin."

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.

I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' :doggystyle:

"He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said,          " A pumpkin?  Damn...is it midnight already?'
:rofl2:


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Invisibleafoaf
CEO DBK?
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Registered: 11/08/02
Posts: 32,665
Loc: Ripple's Heart
Re: THE BEST COMEBACK LINE EVER!!! [Re: Corporal Kielbasa]
    #4511781 - 08/08/05 10:13 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

well, for a drunk pumpkin humper, he's pretty witty.


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All I know is The Growery is a place where losers who get banned here go.


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Invisiblecreamrocks
here they come
Male

Registered: 03/25/05
Posts: 694
Loc: the old midwest
Re: THE BEST COMEBACK LINE EVER!!! [Re: afoaf]
    #4511798 - 08/08/05 10:17 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

hehe!


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InvisibleLiz
Owl Lady
Female User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 6,962
Loc: Massachusetts
Re: THE BEST COMEBACK LINE EVER!!! [Re: Corporal Kielbasa]
    #4511866 - 08/08/05 10:36 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

honestly, that's hilarious....BUT, if he was aware enough to come up with a retort that quickly, he wasn't drunk enough to be screwing a pumpkin.


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Remember, remember the fifth of November
The gunpowder treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.




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InvisibleHanky
wiffle bat.
Male User Gallery
Registered: 08/30/03
Posts: 56,993
Loc: Great Southern Land.
Re: THE BEST COMEBACK LINE EVER!!! [Re: Liz]
    #4511871 - 08/08/05 10:37 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I first heard that joke about twenty years ago. I call shenanigans on the truth of that story.


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Coaster is an idiot...
[quote]Coaster said:
but i thnk everything thats pure is white?
[/quote]




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InvisiblePrisoner#1M
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
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Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 191,500
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
Re: THE BEST COMEBACK LINE EVER!!! [Re: Hanky]
    #4511947 - 08/08/05 10:52 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

hanky said:
shenanigans.




http://www.snopes.com/risque/caught/pumpkin.htm


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InvisibleHanky
wiffle bat.
Male User Gallery
Registered: 08/30/03
Posts: 56,993
Loc: Great Southern Land.
Re: THE BEST COMEBACK LINE EVER!!! [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #4511954 - 08/08/05 10:54 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Thanks, that's what I thought.


--------------------
Coaster is an idiot...
[quote]Coaster said:
but i thnk everything thats pure is white?
[/quote]




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InvisiblePrisoner#1M
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 191,500
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
Re: THE BEST COMEBACK LINE EVER!!! [Re: Hanky]
    #4512062 - 08/08/05 11:15 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

but there really is a Dacula in Gwinnett, I've never seen a pumpkin patch near there though...


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