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Registered: 04/26/05
Posts: 207
Love Lost
    #4511288 - 08/08/05 07:45 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Hi peeps,

I don't post as much as I probably should, but I have to share this with everyone to seek advice.
I have been with my girlfriend for 2 and a half years which is a good amount of time, but she is going off to university in september which I fear will be the end of us, and I just don't know how to handle it. We are both in love with each other but we are only young (I'm 21, she is 18). She is young with hopes and dreams and lots of energy while I am a completely hopeless romantic. I love her so much that I'd rather she leave me behind and fulfill her potential in life, but losing her is so hard.

Can anyone else relate to this?

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The Minstrel in the Gallery

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
Re: Love Lost [Re: marvoman]
    #4511550 - 08/08/05 09:11 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Many people can relate to what is happening to you. There is not much to say. If you guys are meant to stay in love then that will happen. If not, not. It's called the broken hearts club and can be one of your first big lessons on a spiritual path. Good luck friend. :heart:

"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Polypharmaceutical Shaman

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 03/07/05
Posts: 1,148
Loc: The void
Last seen: 5 years, 7 months
Re: Love Lost [Re: marvoman]
    #4515252 - 08/09/05 07:30 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

If your girl is going away to college, it is best that you just break it off and take some time apart. People change way too much through their late teens and 20's for you to try and hold onto this. Both of you probably need to get out and experience the world more. She is probably your first love and you are hers as well. I think everyone gets their heart broken by their first love. You should be thankful if you can end it on good terms.

Don't waste your time worrying about her finding someone else. Change is inevitable in life, and you must learn to accept it or you will feel great pain and sorrow. I doubt you will take my advice, but I think you need to let her go and move on with your life. Keep in touch but don't try to hold on to her.

I spit reality, instead of what you usually learn
and I refuse to be concerned with condescending advice
cause I'm the only motherfucker that can change my life

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Registered: 07/03/05
Posts: 427
Re: Love Lost [Re: PowerTrip]
    #4515891 - 08/09/05 10:53 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

The Buddha once said that attachment is the source of all suffering. Life is tough, I feel your pain man.

Unfortunately this pain will exist no matter what "choice" you two make in this situation. Love her while you can, but leave her when you must. Don't cling to pain.

I do not grow anything illegal.
I do not sell anything.
I am, however, a very curious individual.
I also try to be helpful.

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Registered: 07/25/03
Posts: 74
Loc: Illinois
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
Re: Love Lost [Re: FreedomFight]
    #4517498 - 08/10/05 11:23 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Hi, I'm new to this forum here, so I'll take a shot.
  Not only can I relate to that, I've been there.  My fiance and I have been dating since he was 16 and I was 17.  We had an intense relationship for being in high school (don't mean to offend, we've been through a lot in our first years :wink:) and after only 4 or 5 months together, we knew we were in love. 
  It came time for him to go away to school downstate and it did put a strain on us.  I got jealous because he had some close friends who happened to be female, and I wasn't there.  We ended up having that "talk" and ended it, with intentions of being able to experience things we couldn't if we were together.  It's cheesy but we were only broken up for a day.  We both realized life sucked without each other. 
      8 1/2 years later we're getting married next month.  We've been through 5 MAJOR deaths in the family, experimentation with the psychedelic side together, and it's been wild.  It all just boils down to whether YOU are ready for a relationship that could last forever. It is a beautiful thing...just make sure you're ready for it.  :heartpump:

"If the door of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to a man as it is, infinite."
William Blake

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 User Gallery

Registered: 07/12/03
Posts: 4,278
Loc: Great White North
Re: Love Lost [Re: marvoman]
    #4517557 - 08/10/05 11:36 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I went through the exact same thing with a gf of 4 years. We were on and off for the last year together, when we were both gone away to different schools. I wanted to be with her more I think and got fed up with the on and off bullshit, so I had to end it once and for all. It hurts but life goes on and I've now found someone even better and I feel just as close or closer with her in a few months then I did with the ex over 4 years. That's got to be the hardest time to hang on to a relationship for sure. Good luck for whatever happens with you, but realize whatever is going to happen is going to happen, don't cling to false hopes.

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Registered: 06/29/05
Posts: 103
Last seen: 12 years, 3 months
Re: Love Lost [Re: FreedomFight]
    #4518182 - 08/10/05 02:47 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)


FreedomFight said:
The Buddha once said that attachment is the source of all suffering. 

Nice :smile:  I have gotten alot out of some things that come from a buddhists perspectives, my favorite one,

Once this woman brought her son before the dali and asked the dali to tell her son to stop eating sugar.  the dali said to come back in 3 days time.  When the woman returned on the third day, the dali looked down at the young boy and said, "stop eating sugar".  The mother, confused, asked why he didn't just tell him 3 days ago?  The dali responded "three days ago, i still ate sugar"


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Feed Me A StrayCat

Registered: 08/31/02
Posts: 202
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
Re: Love Lost [Re: l33tmouse]
    #4518717 - 08/10/05 05:30 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Just remember you will both be alive a long time even if you do break up. If she needs to stop being with you make it as pleasant an experience as possible. You cant do any better than that.

Gaia, as you awaken, I heal myself. As I awaken, you are healed.

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Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 10,920
Re: Love Lost [Re: marvoman]
    #4524529 - 08/12/05 01:29 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I highly recommend breaking things off & having the option of seeing new people. dont miss out on your college years - you'll most likely meet some of the most important people in your life there. think new life.

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Registered: 04/26/05
Posts: 207
Re: Love Lost [Re: Vvellum]
    #4525559 - 08/12/05 06:44 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

At the end of the day, I think I'm gonna have to agree with you all. I know its the way to go, and I think when I first posted I knew it too but Its still pretty hard.

But hey, I'm only 21! I'm in my fuckin' prime man! Whoo!
And she's a great girl, she'll do brilliant things in her life.

Right, I'm off to write some songs on my guitar. Cheers guys!

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