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Swami
Eggshell Walker
Registered: 01/18/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
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Bush Administration and DEA to Extradite God from Heaven...
#4484328 - 08/02/05 04:31 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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for conspiracy to manufacture and distribute dangerous drugs. Yes, our Heavenly Father, Creator of the Universe as well as the lowly marijuana seed, is charged with attempting to poison America's youth and undermine Christian values.
While the Bush Administration has yet to figure out how to serve the warrant, a DEA spokesman said this is mostly a symbolic gesture to put God on notice that, "Even he is not above the law, and being omnipotent, should have forseen the dire consequences of this disruptive and highly addictive creation." The spokesman futher pondered, "I wonder what he has to say about this?"
It has been rumored that God in turn merely smiled benevolently and nodded towards the first chapter of the Bible.
The ACLU pointed out that while God could get life in prison; that this would be extremely cruel for an immortal being. "However; at this time we are not preparing a defense as Johny Cochran has already volunteered his services from the Other Side," an ACLU lawyer said.
Several billion tax dollars have already been funneled into the private sector to start construction of a prison secure enough to hold a Divine Being, "just in case" a Department of Prisons release noted.
-------------------- The proof is in the pudding.
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Vex
Stranger
Registered: 05/04/05
Posts: 1,284
Last seen: 18 years, 5 months
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Re: Bush Administration and DEA to Extradite God from Heaven... [Re: Swami]
#4484334 - 08/02/05 04:37 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Swami said: The ACLU pointed out that while God could get life in prison; that this would be extremely cruel for an immortal being.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole
Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 9 months
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Re: Bush Administration and DEA to Extradite God from Heaven... [Re: Vex] 1
#4484968 - 08/02/05 11:01 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Good, and while we have it on the dock I'd like to see some other bullshit addressed, like the Jew's slaughter of the Philistines, the Spanish Inquisition, the stoning of rape victims under Islam and a few other asinine things done in it's name. I'd want to hear it deny any connection to those activities
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barfightlard
tales of theinexpressible
Registered: 01/29/03
Posts: 8,670
Loc: Canoodia
Last seen: 14 years, 3 months
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Re: Bush Administration and DEA to Extradite God from Heaven... [Re: Swami]
#4484994 - 08/02/05 11:10 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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-------------------- "What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks
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Sycronica
Seeker
Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 376
Loc: Inside my head
Last seen: 18 years, 6 months
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Re: Bush Administration and DEA to Extradite God from Heaven... [Re: barfightlard]
#4485138 - 08/02/05 11:57 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Good one
-------------------- Think for yourself. Question authority. Forgiveness is the ultimate sacrifice. You can fool some people sometimes, but you can't fool all the people all the time.
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eve69
--=..Did Adam and ...?=--
Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 3,910
Loc: isle de la muerte
Last seen: 2 months, 23 days
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Re: Bush Administration and DEA to Extradite God from Heaven... [Re: Sycronica]
#4486490 - 08/02/05 06:03 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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That was funny. I even read it to my wife who smirked because she hates the "R" word. (religion).
-------------------- ...or something
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Twirling
Barred Spiral
Registered: 02/03/03
Posts: 2,468
Last seen: 2 years, 1 month
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Re: Bush Administration and DEA to Extradite God from Heaven... [Re: Swami]
#4489187 - 08/03/05 10:06 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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As Bush pushes for "Intelligent Design" to be taught in schools, one has to wonder how such a "theory" fits in with the War on Drugs. Isn't it a contradiction to state that life was created by the pinnacle of intelligent beings, and yet the results of which must be prohibited because of the vile nature of drugs? Surely for us to have an endocannabinoid system, and for a plant that can interact with those receptors, must be viewed as part of God's design - if we're talking "Intelligent Design" that is.
The ACLU line was great.
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Silversoul
Rhizome
Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
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Re: Bush Administration and DEA to Extradite God from Heaven... [Re: Twirling]
#4489219 - 08/03/05 10:21 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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I can't believe you guys! Haven't you heard about this drug?
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Los_Pepes
Stranger
Registered: 06/26/05
Posts: 731
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Re: Bush Administration and DEA to Extradite God from Heaven... [Re: Silversoul]
#4490753 - 08/03/05 04:16 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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BCBudJohn
Foolhardy
Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 150
Loc: Victoria, BC, Canada
Last seen: 18 years, 4 months
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Re: Bush Administration and DEA to Extradite God from Heaven... [Re: Swami]
#4491096 - 08/03/05 05:43 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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-------------------- Peace John
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LeftyBurnz
Mr. I Eat Butthole
Registered: 06/21/05
Posts: 24,570
Loc: FL
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Re: Bush Administration and DEA to Extradite God from Heaven... [Re: BCBudJohn]
#4492494 - 08/03/05 10:17 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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MURDER! INSANITY! DEATH!..... youve gotta be kidding me lol
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Doinkybottoms
UnorthodoxNewbie
Registered: 08/04/05
Posts: 52
Last seen: 17 years, 2 months
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Re: Bush Administration and DEA to Extradite God from Heaven... [Re: Los_Pepes]
#4498180 - 08/05/05 12:48 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Los_Pepes said:
Jesus Christ! It's Jesus Bush!
That's wrong on so many levels...
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Los_Pepes
Stranger
Registered: 06/26/05
Posts: 731
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Re: Bush Administration and DEA to Extradite God from Heaven... [Re: Doinkybottoms]
#4500797 - 08/05/05 04:35 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Based on Swami's reasoning, it must be OK to dump millions of tons of depleted uranium in Iraq since it was made by God. I guess I can give botulism toxin to children, too, since it was also made by God.
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Annapurna1
liberal pussy
Registered: 05/21/02
Posts: 5,646
Loc: innsmouth..MA
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Re: Bush Administration and DEA to Extradite God from Heaven... [Re: Swami]
#4500919 - 08/05/05 05:17 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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i hope the democrats have enough sense to filibuster bushs' nominee for god...
-------------------- "anchor blocks counteract the process of pontiprobation..while omalean globes regulize the pressure"...
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vampirism
Stranger
Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 8,120
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Re: Bush Administration and DEA to Extradite God from Heaven... [Re: Los_Pepes]
#4501085 - 08/05/05 06:02 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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not necessarily.
The depleted Uranium is manmade. Find me a lump of depleted Uranium in nature.
You could make the argument that man is godmade and so everything manmade was made by god, but in human context that's irrelevant.
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barfightlard
tales of theinexpressible
Registered: 01/29/03
Posts: 8,670
Loc: Canoodia
Last seen: 14 years, 3 months
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Re: Bush Administration and DEA to Extradite God from Heaven... [Re: vampirism]
#4501101 - 08/05/05 06:06 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Morrowind said: not necessarily.
The depleted Uranium is manmade. Find me a lump of depleted Uranium in nature.
You could make the argument that man is godmade and so everything manmade was made by god, but in human context that's irrelevant.
Once again what I wanted to say, but I couldn't find the words for.
-------------------- "What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks
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