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InvisibleVeritas
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Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,088
Heartful
    #4494778 - 08/04/05 01:50 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

This is not a quality we can describe easily, prove/disprove scientifically, sell or buy, gain by force or manipulation, or instill in ourselves through willpower.

Yet I think we all know it when we experience it.

It could be emanating from a clerk in a grocery store: somehow, while performing the same duties as the seven other clerks working that day, he manages to reach out and establish a heart connection with each person he "rings up."  It costs him nothing, and may even ADD to his personal energy.  From my experience, I would guess he is less tired at the end of his workday than the clerks who went through the motions.

Why does it seem this generosity of heart is undervalued and ignored? The focus is on efficiency of performance, as though humans were computers with no emotions. 

What if you could start a quiet revolution, just by sharing your heart with those who least expect it?  :sun:


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InvisibleZero7a1
Leaving YourWasteland

Registered: 10/23/02
Posts: 3,594
Loc: Passing Cloud
Re: Heartful [Re: Veritas]
    #4495068 - 08/04/05 02:41 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Maybe those other 7 employees feel undervalued, and arent going to crank out their pity for the "sad consumer". Is that how you feel when you walk into a grocery store? That you want to "connect" with the clerk, that it makes their life better, by making you feel a heartful connection?

And does that mean those that dont give you a smile, are somehow unheartful employees?

After all, smiling is part of "clerk performance", right?

That clerks satisfaction in knowing he/she is probably undervalued as an employee, will rest with them, and them alone. In other words, how they are able to deal with their mediocore jobs will be understood and dealt with by them.

Whether or not you have the ability to comprehend what its like to be them, whatever heartfilled compassion you feel, will probably just be what small connection exists between the truths you can equally understand.


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Offlinebuddhamind
mad scientist
Registered: 08/04/05
Posts: 12
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
Re: Heartful [Re: Zero7a1]
    #4495086 - 08/04/05 02:45 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

I was at the organic grocer earlier this week. The employee who checked me out was very nice (and very pretty :wink:), and really made an effort to make me feel good -- in a word, she was heartful. I left there feeling really good, and I tried to exude that feeling to anyone I passed on the walk home. Spread love! And kudos to that Whole Foods employee!

There is quite a difference in the feeling I get from receiving a genuine smile and a contrived compulsory smile. The genuine smile makes me feel all warm all over, and in turn I smile. Even though all this could be some sort of capitalist ploy to get me to buy more organic vegetables, it sure does feel good.


--------------------
Last night I had a dream that we went to Disneyland,
Went on all the rides, didn't have to wait in line.
I drove you to your house where we stared up at the stars
I listened to your heartbeat as I held you in my arms


Edited by buddhamind (08/04/05 02:47 PM)


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InvisibleVeritas
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Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,088
Re: Heartful [Re: Zero7a1]
    #4495117 - 08/04/05 02:50 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Hmmm...how about interacting as HUMANS rather than in the narrow prescribed roles of "employee" and "customer"?

What part do pity and phony smiles play in a heartful connection?

FYI, when I interact with ANYONE, I endeavor to open my heart and show them who I am, and implicitly invite them to do the same. Whether they choose to do so is, of course, up to them.

I'm sorry that you seem to understand so little about this.


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 93,974
Loc: underbelly
Re: Heartful [Re: Veritas]
    #4495123 - 08/04/05 02:51 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

The people that make a lasting impression on me are the ones that want to share love.  Even if we contend about something, if there is empathy and compassion involved, even a small amount, the outcome is generally beneficial to all and one is in a state of openness, which is very conducive to learning something. :heart: :mushroom2:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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Offlinebuddhamind
mad scientist
Registered: 08/04/05
Posts: 12
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
Re: Heartful [Re: Veritas]
    #4495269 - 08/04/05 03:25 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Despite the contrived aspect of labels, and their ultimate futility, they do serve a purpose. It's much easier to say "employee" and "customer" than "person A" and "person B". :wink:

See? It's funny because I'm sarcastic!!  :lol:

You do speak truly, though-- many employees and customers are only interested in moving as much stuff through the scanners as quickly as they can. A machine could do it better. Few value interaction in such an environment. <3


--------------------
Last night I had a dream that we went to Disneyland,
Went on all the rides, didn't have to wait in line.
I drove you to your house where we stared up at the stars
I listened to your heartbeat as I held you in my arms


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InvisibleZero7a1
Leaving YourWasteland

Registered: 10/23/02
Posts: 3,594
Loc: Passing Cloud
Re: Heartful [Re: Veritas]
    #4497167 - 08/04/05 11:55 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Hmmm...how about interacting as HUMANS rather than in the narrow prescribed roles of "employee" and "customer




So when your manager comes walking over, and complains that you didnt upsell, are you a bad human, or a bad employee? Which wording do you think they will choose?

Quote:

What part do pity and phony smiles play in a heartful connection?




Im not saying heartful connections dont happen, but heres a little truth, its quite rare :wink: .

Quote:

FYI, when I interact with ANYONE, I endeavor to open my heart and show them who I am, and implicitly invite them to do the same. Whether they choose to do so is, of course, up to them.




An employee has a really shitty day, normally they are very open and inviting people, the day they decide not to look at you with a smile, do you think they arent heartful people? just cause of that one encounter?

Quote:

I'm sorry that you seem to understand so little about this.




Im sorry you understand so little of me, ive worked food service for almost 3 years now, since ive been able to work, and ive been a human consumer for over that.

Have you ever worked ffood service or a menial job making minimum wage?


--------------------
What?


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InvisibleMushmanTheManic
Stranger

Registered: 04/21/05
Posts: 4,587
Re: Heartful [Re: Zero7a1]
    #4497217 - 08/05/05 12:14 AM (11 years, 5 months ago)

I'll never share my heart with an Aztec.


--------------------
PsyPost - Psychedelic Research


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OfflinePhanTomCat
Teh Cat....
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Registered: 09/07/04
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Re: Heartful [Re: Veritas]
    #4497273 - 08/05/05 12:26 AM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Thank you, post again....  :smile:

:heart:


--------------------
I'll be your midnight French Fry....  :naughty:

"The most important things in life that are often ignored, are the things that one cannot see...."

>^;;^<


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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Re: Heartful [Re: Veritas]
    #4497437 - 08/05/05 12:52 AM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Heartful connection is a subjective impression based solely on physical cues. The impression may feel strong, but that is no indication of its accuracy.

Case-in-point: all of Ted Bundy's victims felt a strong connection to him and today are buried in the ground.


Veritas to neighbors, "Help! Help! My house is on fire."

Kindly, smilely, compassionate Neighbor #1: "Oh V, that is so sad. My thoughts and prayers are with you." *watches in passive horror*

Grumpy, cynical Neighbor #2: "What stupid thing did you do now?" *grabs bucket and hose and runs over to douse the flames risking personal injury*


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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OfflineLittleBen
Feed Me A StrayCat

Registered: 08/31/02
Posts: 202
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
Re: Heartful [Re: Swami]
    #4497884 - 08/05/05 02:01 AM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Attitude or action isnt nearly the most significant part of my idea of heartful. Its the power of positive thought, truly believing and investing in good will create good. Jesus said that shit when he was tripping. Excellent post Veritas. Pay it forward?


--------------------
Gaia, as you awaken, I heal myself. As I awaken, you are healed.


Edited by LittleBen (08/06/05 01:16 PM)


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Offlinedeff
lovelightbliss
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Registered: 05/01/04
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Re: Heartful [Re: LittleBen]
    #4498552 - 08/05/05 03:42 AM (11 years, 5 months ago)

*bows to swami's wisdom*

:japsmile:


--------------------



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InvisibleVeritas
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Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,088
Re: Heartful [Re: Zero7a1]
    #4499334 - 08/05/05 12:02 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Zero7a1 said:
Quote:

Hmmm...how about interacting as HUMANS rather than in the narrow prescribed roles of "employee" and "customer




So when your manager comes walking over, and complains that you didnt upsell, are you a bad human, or a bad employee? Which wording do you think they will choose?




This is exactly what I was referring to: focus on efficiency, viewing humans as computers.  I am NOT saying that being heartful is encouraged by employers or society! 

Quote:

Quote:

What part do pity and phony smiles play in a heartful connection?




Im not saying heartful connections dont happen, but heres a little truth, its quite rare :wink:.




Again, this was my original point.  My question is: WHY is it so rare? Why do we, as individuals and as a society, practice it so seldom?  It feels good, it is energizing, it does not detract from working, it does not need to be (nor can it be) forced or phony.

Quote:

Quote:

FYI, when I interact with ANYONE, I endeavor to open my heart and show them who I am, and implicitly invite them to do the same. Whether they choose to do so is, of course, up to them.




An employee has a really shitty day, normally they are very open and inviting people, the day they decide not to look at you with a smile, do you think they arent heartful people? just cause of that one encounter?




When did I say that a heartful connection requires smiling?  I did not. It requires being real, revealing who you are that moment, and looking into the other person to see who they are at the moment.  You could be sad, angry, lost, lonely, happy, confused, bitter, loving, dreaming.  This is not about pretending to be cheerful.  In fact, that is what I was referring to when I mentioned the "seven other clerks."  I would prefer to see someone honestly sad or angry than wearing a plastic smile underneath deadened eyes.

Quote:

Quote:

I'm sorry that you seem to understand so little about this.




Im sorry you understand so little of me, ive worked food service for almost 3 years now, since ive been able to work, and ive been a human consumer for over that.

Have you ever worked ffood service or a menial job making minimum wage?




Yes, I have.  For many years, in fact, and many years after that in just-above-minimum wage clerical jobs.  I understand the pressure on customer service workers to pretend to be constantly cheerful, regardless of their true emotional state.  I understand the pressure to sell, sell, sell, regardless of your belief that what you have to sell is appropriate or helpful to the individual you are selling to.

I said that you seemed to understand little about this idea because you immediately put words in my mouth & responded as though I were attacking customer service workers instead of wondering why they did not receive more support in being real.

I truly enjoy it when I am interacting with a bank teller, grocery store checker, fast food counterperson, coffee kiosk barista & they show me who they are!  Sometimes that involves a big smile & some news about what they are thinking or planning, sometimes its a little shrug and news about something that is hurting right now.  I encourage and welcome BOTH types of interaction with my open eye contact and obvious interest in them as a person.


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