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OfflineHawkeye2
Resident TranceAddict

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 626
Last seen: 13 years, 5 months
Re: Shroomery, I need your help. [Re: Dimmy]
    #4485481 - 08/02/05 01:22 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

I just got back from visiting him at the hospital. He's wearing those blue paper pajamas, it's quiet funny.


On another note, he is not doing very well. He was pretty coherent and seemed like the same brother that I know and love, but he began talking about all the things that have plagued him. His anxiety got so bad a few days ago that he could not leave the house to take out the garbage. He has severe anxiety and panic attacks for a variety of reasons. His self-esteem is next to nothing, he has absolutely no self-worth, no goals, no aspirations, he thinks nobody loves him and he is in the worst situation possible. We tried to tell him we love him whether he believes it or not, you are worth something, you're smart, you can make something of your life, but he just shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

Everything we try to do for him doesn't seem to work. He's so brooding and troubled that he thinks he's going to be a sorry ball of nothing for the rest of his life, and he WILL be that way if we don't do something! The hospital, of course, completely sucks. There's no beds for him in the ward so he has to stay in a holding area that is simply a bed in a room. Nothing else. It would probably make me crazy.

It's so painful for me to look into his eyes, I want to help him more than anything, I wish I could take everything away from him and do it myself, I really wish that, like I said, I would do it in a second, I would switch places in a fucking heartbeat, but there's nothing I can do. I just don't want him to hurt anymore.

He said he may be there for a month. He wants to leave already, but I hope to God he sticks it out and stays. The trouble is, when he gets on meds, they have to wait 10 days to see if it works, and if it doesn't, he has to come off of them and switch back on to something new. This can take alot of time. He told me that he was thinking about just saying they work so he could "get the fuck outta here". I told him that he would be no better off than he was before he came here.


The doctors haven't made a complete diagnosis yet, but he told me that they suspect severe bipolar disorder with a rapid cycle. With the voices in whispers, they told him that they think it may not be schizophrenia, but it's his conscious telling him things about himself due to his low self-esteem. I'm not sure if I buy this, but...


We did get to talking about his meds. He told me he's fucked up alot now, they give all the patients a yellow pill at bedtime. He said he took it,(he thinks it was a hypnotic), and he closed his eyes and was hallucinating. It made him pass out and he told me he was still fucked up from it the next day when I was talking to him. I think he enjoys it.

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Offlineblackroselove
Stranger
I'm a teapot User Gallery
Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 6,777
Loc: WYO Flag
Last seen: 19 days, 20 hours
Re: Shroomery, I need your help. [Re: Hawkeye2]
    #4485850 - 08/02/05 02:51 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

When I was 15 I was locked up. No one came and saw me. No one called. Not even my own mother. I was always in a small room by my self most of the time or thrown in to a room with other people that I didn't know. When we were all together it was during group. And we had to state why we were there. When I got phone privileges, I would call friends and they would be "busy" When my mother finally told my grandmother and my grandmother would call every day she could. Or come see me once a week. I got a little better, but most of all, it was like a light, a glimmer of happiness. I was locked up in this place for 9 months. During this time, I never saw real light.No breeze on my face. No grass between my toes, rain on my back. And I missed those things. But just knowing that some one gave a shit that I was there made the difference. Sure it's effected me allot. I don't open up to much of anyone. I hardly trust anyone. I stay to my self. I have more anger problems then I did before.Sometimes I wonder if that place did worse then any good.

But yeah, what I am trying to say is. Be there. When he calls, answer. I know this sounds bad, but your girlfriend can wait. 15 min is going to mean more to him then it does to her.She should understand. Just be there. Like shroomism said, these places don't really look after a person's nutritional needs. Make sure he gets vitamins , plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables and whole grains and lots of water. Because it really does help the mind, not just the body. If he isn't fearful of touching(I was) give him a hug, touch his back. It's kind of a way of saying I love you.Make him laugh, like you said, bring some dan cook(he's friggin great) And like others said. Help him be creative.

He will be in my thoughts. I hope he gets better. I hope his fears are laid to rest in due time. I send your family loving thoughts.

Lots of what I am saying is new, others have said it. I also wanted to add that it will be hard, but has to stick it out.

Peace,
Blackie:flaming:


--------------------
BlackieRL:flaming:
BRL:flaming:

Edited by blackroselove (08/02/05 02:54 PM)

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OfflineInfrared
sleeping
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Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 12,988
Loc: Chicago, USA Flag
Last seen: 2 years, 1 month
Re: Shroomery, I need your help. [Re: Hawkeye2]
    #4485890 - 08/02/05 02:59 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

2yrs ago.. my older bro had a psychotic episode... he was diagnosed as manic depressive/bi-polar... for like 2months, he was super manic.. he would freak out if i wouldnt watch a video with him or sumthin stupid.. eventually it got soo bad that he was hallucinating constantly, and breaking into churches and schools and breaking shit.. he said he kept seeing devil symbols, and thought he was jesus. really we shouldve done something sooner.. its for the best he went to the hospital... even if he doesnt like it ( who would though?)

they put him on depakote/risperdal (the standard bi-polar drug combo nowadays) .. and hes doin a whole lot better.. it took a little while though.

if you need to talk about it. or want some advice.. you can pm me.. i have alot of experience dealing with bi-polar / crazy people..


--------------------
When chemistry is outlawed.. Only outlaws have chemistry:rainbowdrink:

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OfflineHawkeye2
Resident TranceAddict

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 626
Last seen: 13 years, 5 months
Re: Shroomery, I need your help. [Re: Infrared]
    #4486036 - 08/02/05 03:33 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Thank you for all the advice again. He thinks they want to put him on depakote, but I'm not sure because they found a bunch of drugs in his system(pot and opiates I think). They're attributing alot of his problems to drugs, which is wrong, because he's been staying away from hard drugs.

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