Home | Community | Message Board


Shroom Supply
Please support our sponsors.

Community >> The Pub

Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Jump to first unread post. Pages: 1
InvisibleTM
The Mind, The Many, The Music.
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 06/11/02
Posts: 8,281
Loc: Under The Table And Dream...
I was browsing some personals and just had to share this one...
    #4480237 - 08/01/05 08:53 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Personal ad writer 30yo woman wrote:

So I live in an old house, it's over 100 years old. Back of the yard is all woods, which means there is the occasional pesky rodent.

I hate mice. No, wait, I am horribly, irrationally afraid of them.

Picture this, it's around 11pm, people who live downstairs are sleeping. The entire house is quiet, until....I'm on the phone and I start to hear scratching. Immediately, I know it's a mouse, start whispering to the person I'm on the phone with. Why whispering? No idea.....heaven forbid I should speak loudly and scare him.

So I realize that the mouse is IN THE ROOM WITH ME!!! I start to panic, asking my friend "what do I do??" over and over, having to speak louder to be heard over their laughter. Their advice "You're bigger than it is, it's more afraid of you than you are of it". This is BULLSHIT for 2 reasons. First, I don't think it's possible to be more afraid of anything than I am of it, and second will be revealed as the story goes on.

I'm sitting cross legged on the couch, head whipping around at every little sound. I swear I could hear him breathing. Thank God my feet were off the floor because the little bugger came running out from under the couch and stood in the middle of the room. I start screaming, arm waiving, crying. Mouse kinda looks up at me, notices it's not alone, and instead of running AWAY from the woman screaming, arm waiving and crying, runs TOWARDS me back under the couch, proving the whole "It's more afraid of you" theory is crap.

My friend, who trying to speak while laughing, is trying to calm me down and get me somewhere I think the mouse can't get to me. They tell me to go in my bedroom and shut the door. Hell no. As soon as my feet touch the ground, the mouse will run up my leg and EAT MY FACE OFF.

Mouse now showing absolutely no interest in my presence, meanders back out from under the couch and proceeds to examine my livingroom. Runs over to the stack of books, looks back at me with a raised eyebrow when he finds my hidden silly summer reading books. What can I say? They're good books. At least they're next to War and Peace. Finally mouse decides I have nothing good as I hadn't been to the grocery store in about 6 weeks and goes back to where ever it came from.

My friend is still trying to convice me to go in my bedroom where the mouse can't get me. Only problem with that is, I'd have to put my feet on the floor and then the mouse, who I know is lying in wait around the corner, could run up my leg and EAT MY FACE OFF.

20 minutes later, after no sign of the mouse, the hysterical crying over with, I run to the bedroom, slam the door and stuff towels under the door to make sure it can't squeeze under the door and EAT MY FACE OFF while I sleep.

I put out traps (which I really hate doing because the only thing worse than a live mouse in my apt is a dead one), and wait to see what happens. Various people get middle of the night calls from me asking how I know if the mouse is caught in the trap "You'll know". Days go by, nothing.

I check the traps, the little fucker has LICKED THE PEANUTBUTTER OFF and left the trap. On the shopping list on the counter, in little mousey handwriting is "Please get Chunky PB next time- M".

So other than that, I'm just me. Have a great day.




--------------------
================================================



"Have some congratulatory drugs." - C. Montgomery Burns

I'll probably always do drugs, so that just contributes to the addiction to The Shroomery... It's a vicious circle of bliss. :tongue2:

TMâ„¢ :cool:


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinenookjohn
Nooker
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/26/03
Posts: 1,560
Loc: Dancin' in the street
Last seen: 4 years, 9 months
Re: I was browsing some personals and just had to share this one... [Re: TM]
    #4480238 - 08/01/05 09:04 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Who in the world would be attracted to this person after reading that?

Are personals ads all supposed to ironically chase people away instead of attract them now?


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineTwirling
Barred Spiral
Male

Registered: 02/03/03
Posts: 2,468
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
Re: I was browsing some personals and just had to share this one... [Re: nookjohn]
    #4480243 - 08/01/05 09:19 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

nookjohn said:
I'm sitting cross legged on the couch, head whipping around at every little sound. I swear I could hear him breathing. Thank God my feet were off the floor




I dunno, I got a little hard during this part.


--------------------
The very nature of experience is ineffable; it transcends cognitive thought and intellectualized analysis. To be without experience is to be without an emotional knowledge of what the experience translates into. The desire for the understanding of what life is made of is the motivation that drives us all. Without it, in fear of the experiences what life can hold is among the greatest contradictions; to live in fear of death while not being alive.



Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinedr0mni
My Own Messiah
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/21/04
Posts: 2,921
Loc: USF Tampa, Fl
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
Re: I was browsing some personals and just had to share this one... [Re: Twirling]
    #4480437 - 08/01/05 11:55 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

i don't know, I think it's kinda cute. At least she didn't say that she likes dinner and long walk on the beach...


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineToqomS
Shroomery Ding Dong

Registered: 07/14/05
Posts: 162
Loc: WA,USA
Last seen: 2 years, 9 months
Re: I was browsing some personals and just had to share this one... [Re: dr0mni]
    #4480451 - 08/01/05 12:09 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

That lady needs toget laid NOW!


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleShroomismM
Space Travellin
Male User Gallery
Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 02/13/00
Posts: 65,294
Loc: 9th Dimension Flag
Re: I was browsing some personals and just had to share this one... [Re: TM]
    #4480494 - 08/01/05 12:32 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

As soon as my feet touch the ground, the mouse will run up my leg and EAT MY FACE OFF

Man... talk about some sexual tension :lol:

I'd hit it  :borfase:


--------------------


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Jump to top. Pages: 1

Community >> The Pub

Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* There's a mouse in my kitchen...
( 1 2 all )
Amatoxin 1,397 22 01/26/08 03:00 PM
by YidakiMan
* Mouse Problem...
( 1 2 all )
Ginseng1 1,424 25 01/17/16 12:07 PM
by dr.greenfurn
* FUCKING MOUSE
( 1 2 3 all )
Madtowntripper 3,743 55 03/02/08 11:56 PM
by Virus_with_Shoes
* My baby mice died..... I am sad. quarkyquasar 1,260 7 12/18/04 06:24 AM
by quarkyquasar
* Old school mouse ToTheSummit 805 13 12/25/08 04:14 PM
by thekwazz
* I have mice! a_guy_named_ai 609 10 10/09/07 06:44 PM
by a_guy_named_ai
* There is a mouse in my room. What do I do?!
( 1 2 all )
Jaimie 1,727 34 01/16/16 06:04 PM
by CosmicJoke
* There's a mouse in my room!
( 1 2 all )
Divided_Sky 2,106 23 01/17/07 12:20 PM
by WhiskeyClone

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Entire Staff
461 topic views. 9 members, 119 guests and 69 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Toggle Favorite | Print Topic | Stats ]
Search this thread:
Kraken Kratom
Please support our sponsors.

Copyright 1997-2017 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.031 seconds spending 0.006 seconds on 19 queries.