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OfflineBrakethrEW
Stranger
Registered: 07/18/05
Posts: 7
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
problems with my life, self-esteem is damaged HAIR=BAD
    #4478457 - 07/31/05 10:00 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Well I'm 18 I seem to be in great physical health, I'm doing fine in school but I'm having "pretty bad" problems in things that I should not be concerned in. For one I pretty much damaged my self esteem the other day, Ive always had long hair and Ive been using that as a crutch in supporting my self happiness and confidence. Always since I was a little kid my hair basically has been "my life", and it seems like "if my hair was happy/good hair day" I was happy. I know I wasn't thinking in the right way relying on my self confidence over "how my hair looks" so I decided to dig in the root of the problem and shave it all off. Now I realized I just shaved off all my self confidence and I seem to be stuck in a shit hole. I feel LIKE SHIT now and Ive been feeling like shit every single day since I shaved my head. I look at my shadow and I see how BALD I look it makes me want to run and hide. I cant even walk out of my house without thinking I look like a pickle head. I was hoping taking away the thing I precious most would make me start thinking in a better more natural way. But now I'm a pussy, and I cant even get enough guts to go socialize anymore, it seems like my plan did not work and It seems like I probably will have to rebuild my self confidence when my hair grows back. My question is how can I stop relying on my happiness/confidence on how good my hair looks, its really stupid. I bet you all are like "DUDE THIS KID IS WEIRD" alright whatever please help this is buggin the shit out of me. THANKS


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InvisibleCaptainH13
Scum
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Registered: 10/29/04
Posts: 10,287
Re: problems with my life, self-esteem is damaged HAIR=BAD [Re: BrakethrEW]
    #4478474 - 07/31/05 10:03 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

you just gotta let go man.....


i have long ass hair too,and it's dreading an all kinds of funky ways.....


i've had too shave it,too....SO WHAT,haha.....




live life with "open hands"  ,ponder that.....it's just hair,the more just push though it,and go have fun,the more you;ll be ok with it.....


go out ,get drunk,have a good time,you'll forget about soon enough....


:heart:


--------------------


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OfflineAvatarofAtavism
Stranger

Registered: 07/14/05
Posts: 153
Loc: canada
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: problems with my life, self-esteem is damaged HAIR=BAD [Re: CaptainH13]
    #4478947 - 08/01/05 12:24 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

I had long hair for quite a long time, and just cut it all off about 3 months ago. Random act as far as they come.

I loved my hair. That, and I certainly am not the most confident of people when it comes to socialization, but that has to do with other things, not hair.

Try admiring other peoples hair, or something? disconnect the source of the problem from yourself, in a way that will encourage socialization as well? Uhh, I really don't know what to tell you though.


--------------------
Do not despair, said the mystery. You will always have a friend in me. Untill the day you break my code. Then I will be gone, and you are free...
to manifest another.


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Offlineprefloppro
Last Call
Registered: 05/29/05
Posts: 440
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
Re: problems with my life, self-esteem is damaged HAIR=BAD [Re: AvatarofAtavism]
    #4479807 - 08/01/05 03:55 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Whats your problem again? Dude dont sweat the small things and everything is small. Fuck other people that dont accept you the way you are. Your your own individual and no one can stop that. Stop being a pansy and move on.

Sorry for being rough but I have had anxiety since high school. Couldn't really socialize at all. It took a complete stranger to turn it all around.

I was super high and was sitting in a park with my head bowed just trying to blend in, when this homeless guy comes up and sits beside me. We started chatting about the weather and life. I finally asked him, how do you deal with the stares and snickers. He looked at me and said Fuck them. I am who I am. So i told him I had bad social anxiety and he called me a pussy and that there are far more serious matters I should be concerned about. To stop thinking about myself so mush and to just live. Life is precious.

From that day on (two months ago) that single event has changed my life more than anything in my life. I just started to fucking not give a shit about what others thought of me. And started acting like myself. I can tell you I can socialize, I have more friends, and better I just feel good about myself.


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InvisibleDoctorJ
Stranger
 Arcade Champion: Frogger

Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,451
Loc: space
Re: problems with my life, self-esteem is damaged HAIR=BAD [Re: BrakethrEW]
    #4483108 - 08/01/05 11:59 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

maybe you should be less concerned with your hair and more concerned with the brain that resides underneath it.

seriously, dude. You have a neocortex that does all kinds of things if you simply learn how to use it. Many of these things can improve your social life moreso even than a head of hair.

read some books and catch up on current events so you can become a decent conversationalist. learn some skill that can be usefull in life.

there is more to a human being than looks you know. why not try adding another dimension to your character instead of focusing on superficial vanities? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but all people lose their looks with age, and its probable you will not be an exception top this rule. So now is a good time to invest attention in other areas of life. Build your happiness on a stronger foundation than appearance, otherwise you're in for a rude awakening when you get older.


--------------------
peace, pot, and microdot!


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Offlinebelomor123
Just...trying tofit in
Registered: 10/29/04
Posts: 19
Loc: Down here
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
Re: problems with my life, self-esteem is damaged HAIR=BAD [Re: DoctorJ]
    #4484720 - 08/02/05 11:00 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

just relax.
act proud no matter what. "yes im bald, so what, this is my choice and im proud of it!" the sooner u do that the sooner u get used to it the sooner it will seem your old hair will come back
i had a similar thing happen to me when my long happy-hippie hair was cut into italian stereotype. jsut told myself that all those who would mock me for that are losers for judging me and my hair. its my choice and im happy with it. i didnt even notice how my hair grow back


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InvisibleMOTH
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,382
Loc: In the jungle
Re: problems with my life, self-esteem is damaged HAIR=BAD [Re: BrakethrEW]
    #4484746 - 08/02/05 11:13 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Don't worry, just about everyone bases their confidence on some aspect of themself.  For me, it's my weight.  It's not uncommon for me not to leave the house for days because I am embarressed about people looking at me and thinking, "she's so fat."  Is this unhealthy?  You bet.  Illogical?  Yeah.  The only thing that really helps my confidence in this way is a workout. 

Don't give yourself such a hard time.  Maybe part of the problem is that you are trying TOO HARD to get past your love of hair.  Just accept that you love your hair.  It's part of YOU, after all, and self-love is important to being happy. 

Stop taking yourself so seriously.  :smile:  Look at you shaving your head as a learning experience and try to see the humor in it.  It will grow back, but confidence is a bit more tricky to cultivate.  Realize that YOU ARE NOT YOUR HAIR.  You're not.  You are YOU, and your hair is a part of that, but who you *are* at the core is not your hair.

Personally, I think you could turn this being bald thing into a really useful and enlightening experience.  Now you have to learn how to survive and be confident without hair.  :smile:  Look at it as a challenge, a game.  Have fun with it!  Get a new hobby, work out, meet new people. 

Try to view this experience as a positive step forward and you'll be making great progress.  :thumbup:


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InvisibleLiz
Owl Lady
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 6,962
Loc: Massachusetts
Re: problems with my life, self-esteem is damaged HAIR=BAD [Re: BrakethrEW]
    #4484878 - 08/02/05 12:23 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

it's less about how you look physically, and more how you carry yourself.  If you are confident, and know that regardless of how bad (or good) your hair happens to look, it's still the same you.  And I'm sure people who matter realize that as well.  It IS silly to worry that much about your hair, but people worry about dumber shit, believe me.  At least you admit it.  :thumbup:


--------------------
Remember, remember the fifth of November
The gunpowder treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.




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InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,382
Loc: In the jungle
Re: problems with my life, self-esteem is damaged HAIR=BAD [Re: Liz]
    #4484901 - 08/02/05 12:33 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

ifallapart said:
it's less about how you look physically, and more how you carry yourself.  If you are confident, and know that regardless of how bad (or good) your hair happens to look, it's still the same you.  And I'm sure people who matter realize that as well.  It IS silly to worry that much about your hair, but people worry about dumber shit, believe me.  At least you admit it.  :thumbup:




:thumbup:


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