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I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/25/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
Fractional Existence of Self by Salvia
    #4435325 - 07/21/05 09:47 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)


I think the sum of the trip, the "peak" (which came too fast to even realize was coming) was that I realized that I didn't exist. I forgot me while still being me.... but that quickly quickly [half a second? immeasurable time] paved way to weird visions.

more detailed:
I can't believe how intense this stuff is... and I ran away from my "breakthrough" at that (meaning I had an opportunity to go "through" way deeper but denied it.. perhaps my prayers to Lady Salvia kept me at a safe vantage point, letting me have a "choice") ... so i took a moderate toke, thinking I'd probably have to take more, but quickly realized I needed to set my pipe down.

So I layed down.


I don't mean nothing happened... I mean that I became nothing, only the realization of this led to thoughts... I was being shown something by a few people.... they were invisible/transluscent and in some sort of .... non-void.... similar to peripheral vision. I was outside my house (and i'm at my apartment currently so it was damned scary) pointed toward a window near the kitchen from a slightly above and angled vantage point and it was like millions (but mainly like 4 "entities") of "things" were holding up "signs" or "tvs" if you will, showing me things.
(the familiarity to childhood was unshakable, yet not able to sculp into even basic understanding or words... which is how i first felt while doing marijuana [though it wasn't quite as intense] i'd have to guess this is what kids dream like? or something?)
The thing is, this .... place.... was created by my thoughts, it's like my thoughts were totally dissected from me so that I was not on their "plane" and... therefore... the thoughts were showing me what they meant or something.

I felt myself merging into my house, transporting into it, and I believe my mom was right there in the kitchen... I was wondering if she could see me... and I started talking to the experience, in fact talking to it was what made it so scary. At first I was like "whoa, okay... please give me some comfort." and i was just kind of bewildered beyond a lack of word.

So it was like a reverse trip.... *pop* nothing --> weird out of body state without paralysis of the physical body. ---------------> realization of reality but still stuck and confused. -------------------> back in body fighting fear. -------------------->transitioning DOWN into a MJ buzz --------> back to normal.

it felt infinitely short but the fear was intense. I learned that this is not a recreational drug (which I already knew) and that maybe I should never do drugs again... but then again, it's comforting knowing that you have a reality to go back to... it was like the LSA fear just all bundled into 15 seconds with short bursts of ego-integrated denial (which is a haven, but a scary one)


weird as hell....

the lack of "home" is just a terrible feeling, nothing about this apartment had any valuable qualities in it.... i felt so alone and just... perplexed.... then i realized that i needed to open the root chakra and it soothed me a lot, though still felt uneasy.

I seem hung up in the navel/throat/third eye/crown chakras but most of my fear and bad issues seem to stem from the navel.


i'm just as confused as I was while high, lol.. but since it's such a short trip I may envision myself doing it again... with foliage not extract.

I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

Edited by leery11 (07/21/05 09:50 PM)

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Miner for truth and delusion
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Re: Fractional Existence of Self by Salvia [Re: leery11]
    #4435442 - 07/21/05 10:16 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Nice report trying to describe the indescribable!! You did a good job!

It IS intense and I've felt really lucky to be back in reality whenever it's happened to me. It's wild suddenly having an entirely REAL reality from one minute to the next!!

Thanks for the report!!

Absense of evidence is not evidence of absense...

"Religion is a defense against a religious experience"
              Carl G. Jung

"So really, ordinary reality is a kind of chemical habit, sanctioned by culture, which says it's okay to use certain drugs, eat certain foods, and have certain sexual behaviors. However, when you transcend all this pre-conditioning by returning to the original wisdom of the animal body, then you discover this immense dimension of opportunity. For some people, it is a frightening risk. To me, that's the psychedelic experience."
Terence McKenna

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Re: Fractional Existence of Self by Salvia [Re: VirgilKane]
    #4437299 - 07/22/05 10:11 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

each visit is just a glimpse
& plenty of opportunities to learn to let go

great report. interesting title too.

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Re: Fractional Existence of Self by Salvia [Re: redgreenvines]
    #4437386 - 07/22/05 10:48 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Good report!

Trying salvia once was enough for a lifetime for me.

Not fun describes the drug perfectly.

Now go Home.

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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics >> The Psychedelic Experience >> Trip Reports

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