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PriitK
Stranger
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 850
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what is wrong with my cousin/friend
#4425473 - 07/19/05 09:00 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Hiya all, what's going on pals
My cousin has been acting very strange lately..it really bothers me. I used to be very tight with him now he's acting like a drug addict, or just brain dead. I don't know what's up, anyways here is what he's been doing for the past 2-3 months...
I say, come over I'm having a party w/ tons of girls, he never shows, he NEVER answers his calls, says his either in a basement with no service on the phone, or says he never got the call, riiiight...i even used my home phone, still never talks...
I went over his friends house too smoke weed they just sat there never saying a word after they smoked, doing nothing. I didn't like this at all, I hope they're not crackheads or something.
If I talk to him online he also never talks....all he says is "Cool, Ok, Yeah"
thats it, seriously.....today I had women over, pool (hot out) he said he was coming over and never showed, he left me a message on AIM & said he went over his friends and chilled, he didnt say what he did, yet never got my calls, he does this constantly.
I guess I should just ignore him for a long time, block his aim, and see what happens....He's even straight up rude to me for no reason.
What do you all think is his problem(s) are? It's very strange what he is doing, i seen my friend do the same thing turned out he was addicted to cocaine...
oh well, i have tons of true friends, Guess hes just hurting his own brain.
=\
-------------------- I don't do drugs....I am drugs
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PriitK
Stranger
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 850
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Re: what is wrong with my cousin/friend [Re: PriitK]
#4425498 - 07/19/05 09:06 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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I've known him my entire life, he's never done this, even if hes rude I don't want my true friend dying over some stupid shit....:o( really makes me sad.....guess ill take a walk and think seeya pals
-------------------- I don't do drugs....I am drugs
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p4kSouL
Animals Are Cool
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Posts: 3,666
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Re: what is wrong with my cousin/friend [Re: PriitK]
#4425616 - 07/19/05 09:29 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Something is causing more attention if he is constantly not choosing to go to your house. So what could have more attention then girls? Yes drugs, reading from what you posted it seems obvious he has some sort of addiction. Or he just plain hates you.
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WeAreAllOne
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Re: what is wrong with my cousin/friend [Re: p4kSouL]
#4425663 - 07/19/05 09:37 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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I tell people I'll do stuff with them and never do. I don't return their calls. I have pretty much withdrawn completely on a social level. I smoke pot and just sit around and think.
I have been living with depression for seven years.
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PriitK
Stranger
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 850
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Re: what is wrong with my cousin/friend [Re: WeAreAllOne]
#4425691 - 07/19/05 09:42 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Either that he's jealous of the $$$ I've been getting, buying bikes, houses etc....... But the thing is, I have drugs too...more then his friends so why would he goto there house if i have more?
& They simply just sit there, do nothing, barley ever talk unless it's about drugs or weed. If I call him, or he ever comes over he doesn't do much, say much unless it's about getting bags of heroin, or marijuana. thats it.
-------------------- I don't do drugs....I am drugs
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PriitK
Stranger
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Re: what is wrong with my cousin/friend [Re: PriitK]
#4425701 - 07/19/05 09:44 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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No idea, should I just simply never call/talk to him and see what happens? I mean, he doesn't do much of anything friendship wise anymore, unless its just sitting there and smoking weed then doing nothing. :/
-------------------- I don't do drugs....I am drugs
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PriitK
Stranger
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Posts: 850
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Re: what is wrong with my cousin/friend [Re: PriitK]
#4425713 - 07/19/05 09:45 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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He's done crack-cocaine & heroin a lot. Last time he drank 3 fridays ago he simply drank like 10+ beers, passed out and didnt wake up.......he's just 19. Guess he fried his brains. sad =( I used to like chillin and having fun, i guess thats over with him
-------------------- I don't do drugs....I am drugs
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MJF
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Re: what is wrong with my cousin/friend [Re: PriitK]
#4426139 - 07/19/05 11:23 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Hey man don't give up hope on him. When you do ask him to do something what is it that you are asking him to do? Just to come over and hang out? If he is addicted he could also be having some strong anxiety in social situations. I suggest you plan an activity and ask him to take part.
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PriitK
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Re: what is wrong with my cousin/friend [Re: MJF]
#4426165 - 07/19/05 11:30 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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I always plan stuff with him. I even ask if I could come over, anything.............I mean just me and him...........he always says hes coming over then never shows, always home, or over his friends house that just sits there..........dunno man, its weird, he was never like this
-------------------- I don't do drugs....I am drugs
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PriitK
Stranger
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Posts: 850
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Re: what is wrong with my cousin/friend [Re: PriitK]
#4426179 - 07/19/05 11:33 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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I ask him to come over and smoke. I ask him to come over and go fishing. I ask him to come over and ride my dirt bikes, go swimming, watch movies, party....but for some reason he never wants to come along............................and when he does he just sits down and really doesn't say much, like hes in a different world.....I don't know if hes addicted but I do know he does heroin sometimes and does the entire bag, he told me.
Plus he said he smoked crack cocaine with that friend he goes over the house with..........possibly they are addicted together, i don't know man...i don't even trust this situation, its shady and very weird....
-------------------- I don't do drugs....I am drugs
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PriitK
Stranger
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Posts: 850
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Re: what is wrong with my cousin/friend [Re: PriitK]
#4426188 - 07/19/05 11:36 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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He used to be funny, outgoing and interesting to talk to...now if I say something, about anything hes just like "yeah, ok, cool, nice" thats it.
-------------------- I don't do drugs....I am drugs
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MJF
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Re: what is wrong with my cousin/friend [Re: PriitK]
#4426194 - 07/19/05 11:40 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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well i would say don't do the "you wanna come over or can i come oveR" thing anymore. if you wanna see or talk to him have something specific planned...like...fishing or riding dirt bikes or watching a movie.
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PriitK
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Re: what is wrong with my cousin/friend [Re: PriitK]
#4426239 - 07/19/05 11:51 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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yeah maybe hes just really depressed.
-------------------- I don't do drugs....I am drugs
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PriitK
Stranger
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Re: what is wrong with my cousin/friend [Re: PriitK]
#4426242 - 07/19/05 11:52 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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i always do that MJF, i guess hes just depressed
-------------------- I don't do drugs....I am drugs
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MJF
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Re: what is wrong with my cousin/friend [Re: PriitK]
#4426250 - 07/19/05 11:55 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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it sounds like he is. and most addicts are also depressed. ask him to do something that he normally liked to do before he got into this state.
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PriitK
Stranger
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Re: what is wrong with my cousin/friend [Re: MJF]
#4426397 - 07/20/05 12:39 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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I do bro, but i always get turned down, 99% of the time, I end up calling and he never anwsers. Guess he simply doesn't like me anymore. I have no idea why. If he is depressed he wont come over, why would a depressed person wanna do something with a happy person? :/
If I try and do something it ends up him acting even weirder.
-------------------- I don't do drugs....I am drugs
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The_Hobbit
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Re: what is wrong with my cousin/friend [Re: PriitK]
#4427612 - 07/20/05 09:59 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
PriitK said: I ask him to come over and smoke. I ask him to come over and go fishing. I ask him to come over and ride my dirt bikes, go swimming, watch movies, party....but for some reason he never wants to come along............................and when he does he just sits down and really doesn't say much, like hes in a different world.
I can relate. I was the same way for a while. I was that way for different reasons. Firstly, I focused on myself too much. This led to anxiety, worry, etc.. Secondly, I had trouble relating to anyone. Thirdly, sometimes I was just out of it. If I don't do anything all day, my body slows down and thought isn't as clear. Smoking pot only makes that worse in some regards. =) Sometimes thought isn't easily converted into words.
If you want to reach out to this friend, you have to hang out with him alone. Don't worry about what you should do. Just be with him. If he's being quiet, ask him what he's thinking. As him why he's quiet. Ask Ask Ask. Find out what's up. Share yourself, too, as much as possible.
-------------------- Smoking my hobbit leaf... Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.
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MJF
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Re: what is wrong with my cousin/friend [Re: The_Hobbit]
#4428770 - 07/20/05 02:31 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Asking too many questions may make him feel like he's being interigated and out him on the defensive....you don't want to drive him away. I do agree that you should only hang out with him alone. But I think it would be a good idea to have something (an activity other than sitting or smoking) planned.
Edited by MJF (07/20/05 02:33 PM)
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Fucknuckle
Dog Lover
Registered: 04/24/04
Posts: 6,762
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Re: what is wrong with my cousin/friend [Re: MJF]
#4428922 - 07/20/05 03:07 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Priitx,
OK I am aware this is a " Drug " related site. But I have grown very fond of this place because it is so much more. So what I have to say next I hope goes over well and with the understanding that I mean well.
Point 1
When your doing drugs and your friends are doing drugs and all of your activities are centered around drugs. Guess what ? All of your friendships are as false as the happiness you find in drugs.
It seems to me after reading this thread your a druggie who thinks his friend is a druggie. Hum........... Is it possible your friend just can't stand you hypocrisy ? I mean you can not preach to the preacher. Follow me ?
Point 2
Until a person finds their path in life there are no real friends( there are exceptions of course). I know that sounds fucked but it is real and truth. Especially with people who use drugs. As a Druggie myself I know what I'm saying. See, when all you want is to get high it is impossible to see people for what they really are and for what you really are. How can you yourself build a strong friendship when all of your social activities are around getting high ?
Point 3
If he is using heroin he is hooked. That is all there is to it. Heroin users are a strange bunch. They only care about one thing and nothing else, Getting high. At best they are loners, at worst they will kill you for 20 bucks. They will pretend to be your very best buddy if you are using heroin. If not, you start to become unimportant to them because you are no source of heroin. Same with any drug. As time goes on you will learn that Pot heads stick with potheads, coke users stick with coke users, heroin users stick with heroin users etc...... You know why ? Because these friendships are not based in true friendship. It is based in where the easiest source of my favorite drug.
Point 4
Drugs are not a life style they are for recreation. IF you are using at every free moment and all of your friends are using also. Guess what ? You have no real friendships( that's not absolute but close )
In any case spend sometime in social events where you don't get high. That is a start...........Then you will discover what freindship is all about
-------------------- What it is, is what it is my Brother. It is as it is, so suffer thru it.
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UlisSausage7
seattle
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Re: what is wrong with my cousin/friend [Re: Fucknuckle]
#4429194 - 07/20/05 04:13 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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try going to his house and be like "what the fuck is wrong?" and then talk to him about it
my friends kinda like this but its just cause shes weird, and im trying to work it out
-------------------- Marx said: good luck with the microscopy
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Dreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster
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Re: what is wrong with my cousin/friend [Re: UlisSausage7]
#4434385 - 07/21/05 04:26 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
UlisSausage7 said: try going to his house and be like "what the fuck is wrong?" and then talk to him about it
--------------------
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PowerTrip
Polypharmaceutical Shaman
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Re: what is wrong with my cousin/friend [Re: Fucknuckle]
#4434604 - 07/21/05 05:12 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Fucknuckle brought up some good points about friendships that are based on drug use. They are not real friendships and all it does is lead to you spending every day of your life getting high. It took me a while to realize this and I had to sever all ties with my pothead "friends."
Smoking weed makes me feel zoned out and anti-social. Even at parties with all of my friends, if I smoke weed I end up just sitting down somewhere feeling spaced out and tired. You should drink with him instead of smoke weed and see how he behaves. Everyone loves me when I'm drunk.
Quote:
try going to his house and be like "what the fuck is wrong?" and then talk to him about it
This isn't bad advice either. Instead of asking him to come over you should just drive over his house and pick him up or something. When I was going through an anti-social period, my friends would stop by my house and I felt almost forced to get out and do something. I was always glad to get out though.
-------------------- I spit reality, instead of what you usually learn and I refuse to be concerned with condescending advice cause I'm the only motherfucker that can change my life
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BorgFace
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Re: what is wrong with my cousin/friend [Re: PowerTrip]
#4478338 - 07/31/05 07:29 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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PowerTrip makes an excellent point in the above post.
I am very much like your friend, I am reluctant to go anywhere socially and when I do my thoughts only revolve around how long it is until I can go home.
The best approach I think would be to physically arrive at his doorstep and invite him to go out. It is very easy to turn somebody down over the internet or not return their calls but it is a completely different kettle of fish when they ask face-to-face.
If anything I think you will find that he wants to interact with you but has become so socially inept that he feels there is no point. Focus on your discussion with him and you may well be surprised.
One other thing worth mentioning is to try and get him in comfortable surroundings. His reluctance to speak may be exacerbated by the lack of a sense of safety and ease.
Good luck, and don't give up on your friend!
Borg.
-------------------- Give me an ounce of civet, good apothecary, to sweeten my imagination!
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THE KRAT BARON
one-eyed willie
Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 42,409
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Re: what is wrong with my cousin/friend [Re: PriitK]
#4479900 - 08/01/05 02:41 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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I always used to love going out and doing things with my friends up until 7 months ago when I started acting like your friend. However I don't act totally like him. I don't associate with any of my friends anymore. It is not that I am trying to be rude I have just been suffering with severe anxiety issues. I was never like this before in my life and it is very hard. He probably feels much worse than you do trust me. I honestly believed what cause this problem for myself was a years worth of daily cocaine use. Day by day the anxiety got worse. Now seven months later (after throwing coke out the window) I'm still trying to deal with it.
In any event he is far from brain-dead. I cannot speak for him however I can tell you he is probably dealing with some severe anxiety & depression issues for whatever reason. When you get into that pit it's no fun. The best you can do right now is let him alone to deal with it. He will come around eventually. I can guarantee he wants to and when he finds the light at the end of the tunnel you will hear from him again. My buddies stop by from time to time and I have explained my situation to them. They totally understand and just let it alone. They know I have to battle this on my own.
-------------------- m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop
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Re: what is wrong with my cousin/friend [Re: PriitK]
#4491789 - 08/03/05 08:22 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Don't give up on him.....that's the worst thing you could do. Drugs like heroin crack and coke completely take you over, become your life and destroy you.....but it's not the end, he can get better. Do whatever it takes to get him back, he may be pissed now but he'll thank you later.
--------------------
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nightkrawler
explorer
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Re: what is wrong with my cousin/friend [Re: Dark_Star]
#4497057 - 08/04/05 09:26 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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he probably only wants to hang out with his heroin friends because thats what they are. he probably doesnt have any interest in girls or drinking anymore.
as dark_star said, don't give up on him. talk to him about it.
-------------------- Not all who wander are lost - J.R.R. Tolkien
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CaRnAgECaNdY
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Re: what is wrong with my cousin/friend [Re: Fucknuckle]
#4498898 - 08/05/05 05:01 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Fucknuckle said: Priitx,
OK I am aware this is a " Drug " related site. But I have grown very fond of this place because it is so much more. So what I have to say next I hope goes over well and with the understanding that I mean well.
Point 1
When your doing drugs and your friends are doing drugs and all of your activities are centered around drugs. Guess what ? All of your friendships are as false as the happiness you find in drugs.
It seems to me after reading this thread your a druggie who thinks his friend is a druggie. Hum........... Is it possible your friend just can't stand you hypocrisy ? I mean you can not preach to the preacher. Follow me ?
Point 2
Until a person finds their path in life there are no real friends( there are exceptions of course). I know that sounds fucked but it is real and truth. Especially with people who use drugs. As a Druggie myself I know what I'm saying. See, when all you want is to get high it is impossible to see people for what they really are and for what you really are. How can you yourself build a strong friendship when all of your social activities are around getting high ?
Point 3
If he is using heroin he is hooked. That is all there is to it. Heroin users are a strange bunch. They only care about one thing and nothing else, Getting high. At best they are loners, at worst they will kill you for 20 bucks. They will pretend to be your very best buddy if you are using heroin. If not, you start to become unimportant to them because you are no source of heroin. Same with any drug. As time goes on you will learn that Pot heads stick with potheads, coke users stick with coke users, heroin users stick with heroin users etc...... You know why ? Because these friendships are not based in true friendship. It is based in where the easiest source of my favorite drug.
Point 4
Drugs are not a life style they are for recreation. IF you are using at every free moment and all of your friends are using also. Guess what ? You have no real friendships( that's not absolute but close )
In any case spend sometime in social events where you don't get high. That is a start...........Then you will discover what freindship is all about
-------------------- The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.
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