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InvisibleAbstractHarmonix
Love is like a train...
Female

Registered: 07/09/04
Posts: 3,509
Loc: The Sea
The Next Ode to my Mother...
    #4414515 - 07/17/05 01:12 PM (12 years, 8 days ago)

Exerpt from what the morning brings.

It is very hard for me to observe the decay of personal health. In this case, the age increasing and the will to live deteriating.
I have been down this same road, watching everyone decay. We are the decaying organic matter.
When will I heal? And may I heal in peace?
"Only believers in death will die." Though this may ring truth, my mind is still left to overcontemplate. Some days are worse than others.

When I dream of her, I wish only to wake up in that dream. To exist with her is what I yearn for. I took her time on this Earth for granted.
When I awake to the illusion that I once fell asleep to, I appear to be shattered. Internally and externally. Each dream is a mosaic of the upmost goodness that could possibly exist in this realm, in thats realm. In my realm. This mosaic is pieced together perfectly, and to my dismay...my ultimate love is dismissed from me. This illusion that I consider through REM to be live. It is almost as each day I grow weaker. Observing my decaying Self. Have I reached my peak?

Today is not a strong day. The overcast outside is too bright for my depressing eyes. My decaying eyes. I had never imagined such a loneliness. Physically not alientated from my soul-mate. But I have lost touch with my soul-partner, and my mentality. I can only speak to her through my dreams, and I fear of being awake. She feared of being awake as well. For the last 3 years of her life, she slept. Slept to dream, to escape...but not to escape...Only to enter. She was entering the realm she deserved early in the game. I want to play, too. Ignorance is bliss...Sleep is bliss...Entrance into your new reality is bliss...To escape is bliss...

An ode to my mother, and an ode to sleep. An ode to ignorance, an ode to bliss. May I wake up to our collective dreamstates, and never leave what is pieced together again.
Embrace the after-life. In my case, anticipate the after-life. I cannot channel myself to her spirit yet. This is why I am unable to heal.
I hope to wake up to her, every morning...anticipating my after-life. With her there, in every form imaginable.

In memeory of:

Mama-Zita!
feb0546-apr1005

Smelly Meghan
jan0286-aug0204

Allen and John
who were lost at sea...


--------------------
A plethora of music aspirations control my temptations of future revelations beyond "now". The percussion, and the heart beat of my love and devotion. The rhythm goes beyond, prying into the third eye, releasing the creativity held so far inside. The melodicies, through the out of tune pianos and broken classical guitars...there lies a beauty. A beauty as prevelent as the fire inside. To release these energies is pure ecstacy, to deveop these gifts is sacred. The vocality, so pure as can be, shying away from herself, lies within me. For the underlying serenitity, this is what I live for. I plea for harmony, and nothing more. Music equals love. Creation of love leads to the procreativity of the World, and it's spirals and puddles prevailing.


Edited by XOIIAresIIOX (07/17/05 01:24 PM)


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OfflineDreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster
Female

Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 9 years, 6 months
Re: The Next Ode to my Mother... [Re: AbstractHarmonix]
    #4415029 - 07/17/05 04:06 PM (12 years, 8 days ago)

deppresion sucks.
sleep is a good way to escape. But when you awake, you are right back wher you started. Your life is what you choose to make of it, and your dreams will begin to reflect it.
Gotta move on, and bury your dead.
Sorry your hurting hon. Ride it out. You'll feel better soon.
:heart:


--------------------


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OfflineWeAreAllOne
Opethian

Registered: 06/25/05
Posts: 2,649
Loc: Pennsylvania
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
Re: The Next Ode to my Mother... [Re: Dreamer987]
    #4415593 - 07/17/05 06:18 PM (12 years, 8 days ago)

Will ever the morning
carry away
the souls of those for whom we cry?


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InvisibleAbstractHarmonix
Love is like a train...
Female

Registered: 07/09/04
Posts: 3,509
Loc: The Sea
Re: The Next Ode to my Mother... [Re: Dreamer987]
    #4419592 - 07/18/05 05:10 PM (12 years, 7 days ago)

Quote:

Dreamer987 said:
deppresion sucks.
sleep is a good way to escape. But when you awake, you are right back wher you started. Your life is what you choose to make of it, and your dreams will begin to reflect it.
Gotta move on, and bury your dead.
Sorry your hurting hon. Ride it out. You'll feel better soon.
:heart:




I woke up very uncomfortable on the floor yesterday morning.  it had my mind set all fucked up, and kinda ruined my attitude for the day.  maybe cause im a female, lol.

thanks for the encouraging words :smile:  you rock, dreamer!


--------------------
A plethora of music aspirations control my temptations of future revelations beyond "now". The percussion, and the heart beat of my love and devotion. The rhythm goes beyond, prying into the third eye, releasing the creativity held so far inside. The melodicies, through the out of tune pianos and broken classical guitars...there lies a beauty. A beauty as prevelent as the fire inside. To release these energies is pure ecstacy, to deveop these gifts is sacred. The vocality, so pure as can be, shying away from herself, lies within me. For the underlying serenitity, this is what I live for. I plea for harmony, and nothing more. Music equals love. Creation of love leads to the procreativity of the World, and it's spirals and puddles prevailing.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleAbstractHarmonix
Love is like a train...
Female

Registered: 07/09/04
Posts: 3,509
Loc: The Sea
Re: The Next Ode to my Mother... [Re: WeAreAllOne]
    #4419603 - 07/18/05 05:12 PM (12 years, 7 days ago)

Quote:

WeAreAllOne said:
Will ever the morning
carry away
the souls of those for whom we cry?



her soul is always with me, as far as the morning carrying it away, it only knocks at the door of my mental stability, reminded me that i should have done things differently. regretsucks, and im trying to get passed it.


--------------------
A plethora of music aspirations control my temptations of future revelations beyond "now". The percussion, and the heart beat of my love and devotion. The rhythm goes beyond, prying into the third eye, releasing the creativity held so far inside. The melodicies, through the out of tune pianos and broken classical guitars...there lies a beauty. A beauty as prevelent as the fire inside. To release these energies is pure ecstacy, to deveop these gifts is sacred. The vocality, so pure as can be, shying away from herself, lies within me. For the underlying serenitity, this is what I live for. I plea for harmony, and nothing more. Music equals love. Creation of love leads to the procreativity of the World, and it's spirals and puddles prevailing.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,381
Loc: In the jungle
Re: The Next Ode to my Mother... [Re: AbstractHarmonix]
    #4420761 - 07/18/05 10:27 PM (12 years, 7 days ago)

Ares, I remember when I was tripping at the Gathering, just chilling out at some stranger's campsite, and you came riding up on your bike (or scooter, can't remember which) and you just sat right down and talked to me.  I recognized you immediately.  That was one of the best parts of my weekend, the conversation you and I had about death, and the loss of your dear mother. 

I remember you saying something that has stuck with me, something that totally eased my fear of my loved ones dying.  You said, "She can do more good where she is now," and at that moment I understood completely. 

She's with you every day, even if only in your dreams her presence will never leave you.

You have work to do on this earth Ares before you can join her.  :heart:

Sorry if I am of no comfort...I have not yet lost a parent, but I have lost friends and remember the grief and confusion very well. 

I hope you find your peace

love

*me*  :heart:


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OfflineWeAreAllOne
Opethian

Registered: 06/25/05
Posts: 2,649
Loc: Pennsylvania
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
Re: The Next Ode to my Mother... [Re: MOTH]
    #4422712 - 07/19/05 11:11 AM (12 years, 6 days ago)

Ares, I lost my father at a very young age.

Even if my words are no comfort to you, you can always message me if you want to talk.

I know how good it feels to get it out.  :heart:


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InvisibleAbstractHarmonix
Love is like a train...
Female

Registered: 07/09/04
Posts: 3,509
Loc: The Sea
Re: The Next Ode to my Mother... [Re: MOTH]
    #4422940 - 07/19/05 12:25 PM (12 years, 6 days ago)

Thank you so much you guys! ellemysh, you are just so awesome! and that conversation we had was completely well and soothing for me. you are a kynd spirit and a definite breathe of fresh air!

thanks for the support sistah
-Ares


--------------------
A plethora of music aspirations control my temptations of future revelations beyond "now". The percussion, and the heart beat of my love and devotion. The rhythm goes beyond, prying into the third eye, releasing the creativity held so far inside. The melodicies, through the out of tune pianos and broken classical guitars...there lies a beauty. A beauty as prevelent as the fire inside. To release these energies is pure ecstacy, to deveop these gifts is sacred. The vocality, so pure as can be, shying away from herself, lies within me. For the underlying serenitity, this is what I live for. I plea for harmony, and nothing more. Music equals love. Creation of love leads to the procreativity of the World, and it's spirals and puddles prevailing.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleAbstractHarmonix
Love is like a train...
Female

Registered: 07/09/04
Posts: 3,509
Loc: The Sea
Re: The Next Ode to my Mother... [Re: WeAreAllOne]
    #4422942 - 07/19/05 12:26 PM (12 years, 6 days ago)

Quote:

WeAreAllOne said:
Ares, I lost my father at a very young age.

Even if my words are no comfort to you, you can always message me if you want to talk.

I know how good it feels to get it out.  :heart:




:heart:


--------------------
A plethora of music aspirations control my temptations of future revelations beyond "now". The percussion, and the heart beat of my love and devotion. The rhythm goes beyond, prying into the third eye, releasing the creativity held so far inside. The melodicies, through the out of tune pianos and broken classical guitars...there lies a beauty. A beauty as prevelent as the fire inside. To release these energies is pure ecstacy, to deveop these gifts is sacred. The vocality, so pure as can be, shying away from herself, lies within me. For the underlying serenitity, this is what I live for. I plea for harmony, and nothing more. Music equals love. Creation of love leads to the procreativity of the World, and it's spirals and puddles prevailing.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
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