|
 RandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
|
 God Dammit! I shit myself! 
#4411931 - 07/16/05 02:07 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
I wish I could say that the following is a joke, but it isn't:
This is the second post about a shit mishap in the past month for me.
I was laying on a bed in a KOA cabin in the middle of nowhere Utah. I was relaxing and I felt a fart start to build. I made the standard bodily pushing to expel this bubble of flatulence. Then all of a sudden I realized it wasn't a fart; it was runny poop. But, it was too late. A squirt of diarhea (spelling?) was propelled into my boxer shorts. I was horrified.
This diahrea completey fooled me into thinking it was gas. Has that ever happened to anybody before?
So, I sat there with a puddle of crap in my boxers for about ten seconds or so. I needed to figure out what I would do. The bathroom was over two hundred feet away. I somehow managed to get my clothes back on and walk over. Both of the fucking stalls were occupied by fellow poopers! My stomach really started to growl at this point. I knew that I needed to expel some hot, runny, stinky, and foul feces (I think I ate some bad tacos or something). I waited for five minutes and those two guys were still sitting in the stalls. I could not wait any longer. I ran back to my cabin and crapped into my waste-basket. It smelled so bad. I also had to throw away my boxers. I had to take the small plastic bag full of crap to a garbage can up near the office. I walked all non-chalantly up to the garbage can while I did it because I did not want to attract any attention.
What a night...
|
Jim
Registered: 04/07/04
Posts: 20,922
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: RandalFlagg]
#4411936 - 07/16/05 02:09 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
you drink too much apple juice
--------------------
Use the Fucking Reply To Feature You Lazy Pieces of Shit! afoaf said: Jim, if you were in my city, I would let you fuck my wife.
|
Corporal Kielbasa
Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 17,235
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: RandalFlagg]
#4411939 - 07/16/05 02:10 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
We call that sharting.
Happens to the best of us
|
 WeAreAllOne
Opethian
Registered: 06/25/05
Posts: 2,649
Loc: Pennsylvania
Last seen: 17 years, 11 months
|
|
|
RandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
|
|
Quote:
SHEIKofSHIITAKE said:
We call that sharting.
Happens to the best of us
It may happen to chill and laid back guys like you, but neurotic and anxious guys like me should be in constant control of things like that. 
|
Shroomism
Space Travellin
Registered: 02/13/00
Posts: 66,015
Loc: 9th Dimension 
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: RandalFlagg]
#4411957 - 07/16/05 02:18 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
hahahahahahahahaa .. that sucks.
Ever thought of an enema?
--------------------
|
RandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: Shroomism]
#4411958 - 07/16/05 02:19 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Shroomism said:
hahahahahahahahaa .. that sucks.
Ever thought of an enema?
Too expensive. I'll bet it feels awesome though.
|
Corporal Kielbasa
Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 17,235
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: RandalFlagg]
#4411963 - 07/16/05 02:20 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
i thought you were also very chill. See i dont even fart any more im so chill. It kinda just flows.
|
RandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
|
|
Quote:
SHEIKofSHIITAKE said:
i thought you were also very chill. See i dont even fart any more im so chill. It kinda just flows.
Does it flow into your boxers like what happened to me?
|
Corporal Kielbasa
Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 17,235
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: RandalFlagg]
#4411978 - 07/16/05 02:26 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
some times it even gets left behind on the sidewalk as im walking down the street
|
wildbill
billbo
Registered: 06/11/05
Posts: 113
Loc: shroomy central FL
Last seen: 17 years, 4 months
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: RandalFlagg]
#4411980 - 07/16/05 02:27 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
haha yea ive done such things but that was an awesomely told story, and props for sharing.
--------------------
"ow-now-brown-cow" ~ _Ron Burgundy_
|
debianlinux
Myconerd - DBK
Registered: 12/09/02
Posts: 8,334
Loc: Over There
Last seen: 9 months, 17 days
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: RandalFlagg]
#4411981 - 07/16/05 02:28 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
the sphincter appears to give you a choice;
guilt or shame
if your racing to a toilet and just manage to get your pants down before the brown majesty coats the throne then you get to live with guilt for leaving such a horrid mess.
if, as in your case, you fill your trousers with your own refuse then you get shame.
the choice is an illusion. the sphincter retains all control over your options.
your only choice is to make allies with your sphincter.
failure to do so will result in Guilty Shame... that is when you blast stinky frostee mix all over a public toilet seat AND manage to fire a stream down the back of your pants.
|
Jim
Registered: 04/07/04
Posts: 20,922
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: debianlinux]
#4411984 - 07/16/05 02:30 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
exactly
--------------------
Use the Fucking Reply To Feature You Lazy Pieces of Shit! afoaf said: Jim, if you were in my city, I would let you fuck my wife.
|
Shroomism
Space Travellin
Registered: 02/13/00
Posts: 66,015
Loc: 9th Dimension
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: RandalFlagg]
#4411988 - 07/16/05 02:33 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
expensive???
how much does it cost to squirt water up your ass?
--------------------
|
debianlinux
Myconerd - DBK
Registered: 12/09/02
Posts: 8,334
Loc: Over There
Last seen: 9 months, 17 days
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: Shroomism]
#4411997 - 07/16/05 02:38 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
the expensive part is paying someone else to do it, right?
|
Shroomism
Space Travellin
Registered: 02/13/00
Posts: 66,015
Loc: 9th Dimension
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: debianlinux]
#4412003 - 07/16/05 02:40 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
ya probably... on some fancy $10,000 hydrotherapy machine..
fuck that.. I'm not paying someone to do that.. I know how to squeeze a plastic bottle..
but damn.. I never knew how amazing an enema could be. All that crap built up over the years.. just flushed away. I felt like a new person. 
--------------------
|
Corporal Kielbasa
Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 17,235
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: Shroomism]
#4412088 - 07/16/05 03:23 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
Did you really? Would it be wrong of me to try this said enema with a garden hose?
|
mantis
Registered: 01/26/03
Posts: 5,235
Loc: Bunker Alpha, GMC
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: RandalFlagg]
#4412101 - 07/16/05 03:29 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
RandalFlagg said:
Quote:
SHEIKofSHIITAKE said:
We call that sharting.
Happens to the best of us
It may happen to chill and laid back guys like you, but neurotic and anxious guys like me should be in constant control of things like that.
Anal-retentive? You need to live up to that name, dammit. Shitting your pants isn't helping.
--------------------
|
Shroomism
Space Travellin
Registered: 02/13/00
Posts: 66,015
Loc: 9th Dimension
|
|
Yeah honestly.. it took about four flushes the last time I did it to get.. almost everything out.. but I seriously felt a million times better.. .and healthier in general to boot.
I dont know about a garden hose.... I suppose it could work.. I've heard of people using pressured shower jets.. so sure why not. But I hear tap water is bad news.. long term. Warm water is best.
heh what does master google think - http://www.google.com/search?hs=QDE&...amp;btnG=Search
--------------------
|
California
A E S T H E T I C S A T A N
Registered: 12/27/04
Posts: 72,118
Loc: H A U N T E D H O U S E
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: RandalFlagg]
#4412133 - 07/16/05 03:40 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
|
Burke Dennings
baby merchant
Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: RandalFlagg]
#4412145 - 07/16/05 03:44 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
Didn't you also post about how you got your own shit on your hand and camera a while ago?
|
Kalix
'Head
Registered: 03/20/05
Posts: 1,504
Last seen: 18 years, 4 months
|
|
Damn dude.. I can honestly say that's never happened to me.. But I do castor oil purges once in a while, and I've done a few enemas too..
--------------------
My Unitarian Jihad Name is: The Shotgun of Sweet Reason
|
Shroomism
Space Travellin
Registered: 02/13/00
Posts: 66,015
Loc: 9th Dimension
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: Kalix]
#4412503 - 07/16/05 06:04 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
castor oil emetic? 
try lobelia man
--------------------
|
MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: Shroomism]
#4412533 - 07/16/05 06:19 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
whoa...I read this thread and thought I was in OtD for a second.  
|
TYL3R
Registered: 11/19/04
Posts: 17,493
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: WeAreAllOne]
#4412560 - 07/16/05 06:34 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
WeAreAllOne said:
|
Kalix
'Head
Registered: 03/20/05
Posts: 1,504
Last seen: 18 years, 4 months
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: Shroomism]
#4412587 - 07/16/05 06:45 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Shroomism said:
castor oil emetic?
try lobelia man
My Kundalini Yoga teacher is adamant on the benefits of eating 2 tblspoon Castor oil in the AM, and then drinking hot (straight out the teapot) water every hour, with a lemon slice in it.. What can I say, it works  and after a day of that, your pooping clear water.. You even get used to choking down Castor oil after you do it a cpl times..
--------------------
My Unitarian Jihad Name is: The Shotgun of Sweet Reason
|
Kalix
'Head
Registered: 03/20/05
Posts: 1,504
Last seen: 18 years, 4 months
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: Kalix]
#4412590 - 07/16/05 06:46 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
Oh yeah.. That evening you are supposed to make yourself a rice based gruel with a little onion, cinnamon stick, turmeric, and cumin, and yogurt..
--------------------
My Unitarian Jihad Name is: The Shotgun of Sweet Reason
|
DNKYD
Turtle!
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 12,326
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: RandalFlagg]
#4412604 - 07/16/05 06:50 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
I've shit myself on a few occasions. I am not ashamed.
|
afoaf
CEO DBK?
Registered: 11/08/02
Posts: 32,665
Loc: Ripple's Heart
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: RandalFlagg]
#4412610 - 07/16/05 06:55 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
you are on the brink of becoming another SS7.
too much information, homey.
--------------------
All I know is The Growery is a place where losers who get banned here go.
|
mantis
Registered: 01/26/03
Posts: 5,235
Loc: Bunker Alpha, GMC
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: afoaf]
#4412614 - 07/16/05 06:57 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
What is this I hear about ss7 and fecal matter? It must've been during one of my multi-month Shroomery vacations.
--------------------
|
danlennon3
LivingIsEasyWithEyesClosed.....
Registered: 10/29/02
Posts: 19,246
Loc: usa
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: RandalFlagg]
#4412659 - 07/16/05 07:11 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
Too expensive. I'll bet it feels awesome though.
i dont know how a tube being shoved up your ass, then having ass loads (literally) of water shot in your rectum would feel good... although you may feel great afterwords, i dont think the process sounds fun at all
--------------------
"Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"
|
syanesso
100% pupil
Registered: 10/24/04
Posts: 377
Loc: Evergreen State
Last seen: 14 years, 3 months
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: danlennon3]
#4412686 - 07/16/05 07:20 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
ive never had the pleasure of having my fruit of the looms filled to the brink with shit, but i have had a wet fart or too in my day...thats a weiird feeling.
enemas cost like 99 cents mang
--------------------
make sure it bruises blue
|
oysterguy63
60's child
Registered: 04/08/05
Posts: 463
Loc: God's Country
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: RandalFlagg]
#4412896 - 07/16/05 08:41 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
RandalFlagg said:
Quote:
Shroomism said:
hahahahahahahahaa .. that sucks.
Ever thought of an enema?
Too expensive. I'll bet it feels awesome though.
Awesome? Personally speaking, they are not awesome. They suck....it feels like the worst shit cramps you have ever had in your life, especially when the Nazi nurse doing to enema thinks she is a rocket scientist who knows more about what is going on with your body than you do and just keeps right on squirting the liquid into your bowels long after you were full. I told her once, told her twice, she still said "You can do it, you can take more," like it was Jeopardy and I was going to move on to the fucking bonus round or something. After the second time, I couldn't fucking do it and let er rip. What a fucking mess...LOL. Left a trail all the way to the bathroom. I said...."Toldya." She was fucking speechless. LOL.
--------------------
Oysters...yuummmmm
|
HELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag
Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 84,387
Loc: Afghanistan
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: RandalFlagg]
#4412942 - 07/16/05 08:54 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
What's with you and shit? Didn't you suck on a shit covered digit?
--------------------
|
HELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag
Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 84,387
Loc: Afghanistan
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
#4412944 - 07/16/05 08:55 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
I see I'm not the only one to make this connection!
--------------------
|
Saitama
A Life Of Optical Delusion
Registered: 07/07/05
Posts: 59
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: Jim]
#4412983 - 07/16/05 09:05 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
Thanks for the quality post!
--------------------
Find helpful teks:
A.M.U. Teks
 MonoTubs Are Life
    
"I am the watcher, and the watched, I bring me together."
|
danlennon3
LivingIsEasyWithEyesClosed.....
Registered: 10/29/02
Posts: 19,246
Loc: usa
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
#4412989 - 07/16/05 09:07 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
i love the idea of clean bowel but dread the idea of a penetrated anus
--------------------
"Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"
|
Shroomism
Space Travellin
Registered: 02/13/00
Posts: 66,015
Loc: 9th Dimension
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: danlennon3]
#4412994 - 07/16/05 09:10 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
seriously.. it's not that bad. not if you do it yourself. the after effects are worth it times ten.
--------------------
|
Vvellum
Stranger
Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 10,920
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: RandalFlagg]
#4413083 - 07/16/05 09:34 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
I shit my pants a few months ago.
I was driving and the FORCE came out of nowhere.
I tried to pull over...but the FORCE was too great.
I really, really, really tried to hold it in.
Luckily, I was alone and it was dark out.
Found a dumpter...and threw my boxers and pants
into the trash and wrapped a beach towel around my waist.
drove home quick and showered for an hour.
yeah, it sucked.
never told anyone.
I hadnt done that since I was in, like, the 2nd grade.
|
HELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag
Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 84,387
Loc: Afghanistan
|
Re: God Dammit! I shit myself! [Re: oysterguy63]
#4413169 - 07/16/05 09:57 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
hahahaha ew
--------------------
|
|
Threaded
Previous
Index
Next
Maeng Da Thai Kratom Leaf Powder 
Golden Teacher Liquid Culture For Sale
Edit 
Reply 
Randolph_Carter
fireworks_god
SkorpivoMusterion
Anonymous
DreaMaTrix
motatraehrehtom
Fungushungry
1 2 3 all )
boxtop703