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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Mother lectured me about MY marriage
#4403102 - 07/14/05 10:30 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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So the other day Dreamer and I went by the river to soak up summer and do some swimming/tripping. Kevin was at work, and while he wished he could come, he wished us a good day. Long story short, we had a great time.
I was talking to my mom...and I mentioned I went to the river to swim with D, thinking it was a totally innocuous topic (and I don't have many with my parents, believe me) and she flipped on me.
She started asking me, "What? Who is this guy? Where did you meet him? What were you doing down by the river? Did anyone know you were there? Did Kevin know you were getting half-naked with some other guy?"
And as I tried to answer her questions, she continued with, "Michelle, marriage is forever. You shouldn't be doing stuff like that with people who arent' your husband. Is your marriage doing okay lately? You aren't sneaking around to go hang out with guys, are you?"
At this point I was like OMG MOM!!! She knows I'm happily married I don't know why she says shit like that. Geez, not only did it annoy me that she went off like that, but it sort of made me freaked out too.
This is the same woman who forbid me to see my best friend in high school because he was black and she didn't want any half-black grandbabies. (little did she know my friend is gay, heh)
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Mother lectured me about MY marriage [Re: MOTH]
#4403112 - 07/14/05 10:33 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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Dump her.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Dreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster
Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 16 years, 2 months
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Re: Mother lectured me about MY marriage [Re: MOTH]
#4403113 - 07/14/05 10:34 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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lol while you may have a great ass, i'm not trying to steal you away from Kevin. your parents are fucktards (no offence) You should tell them as much everytime they say anything. Better yet, acuse her of cheating on your pops by constantly humping the Bible.
--------------------
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adrug
Registered: 02/04/03
Posts: 15,800
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Re: Mother lectured me about MY marriage [Re: MOTH]
#4403114 - 07/14/05 10:34 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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Might as well just ignore her, as long as Kevin is really cool with it. She's just being a weirdo. You guys seem just fine to me. Its not like having friends of the opposite sex is taboo. Not to most people anyway.
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Trav
Stranger
Registered: 06/09/05
Posts: 1,826
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Re: Mother lectured me about MY marriage [Re: Dreamer987]
#4403132 - 07/14/05 10:40 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Dreamer987 said: Better yet, acuse her of cheating on your pops by constantly humping the Bible.
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TYL3R
Registered: 11/19/04
Posts: 17,493
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Re: Mother lectured me about MY marriage [Re: adrug]
#4403133 - 07/14/05 10:40 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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how's her marriage ?
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Drink_Punk_Soda
Now with ExtraVaganza!?
Registered: 06/14/02
Posts: 1,677
Loc: Nowhere fast
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
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Re: Mother lectured me about MY marriage [Re: Dreamer987]
#4403139 - 07/14/05 10:41 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Dreamer987 said: Better yet, acuse her of cheating on your pops by constantly humping the Bible.
That's the funniest thing I've heard in days!
As for psycho parents, I know the routine. It sucks to have overprotective, biased, slightly or blatantly racist, more than a little off-kilter parents. My mother is the same way.
I don't really know your relationship with your mother, so it's hard to comment. But as long as you're confidant in yourself and your decisions, her comments don't really matter.
-------------------- Kumbayah my lord, Kumbayah...
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Redstorm
Prince of Bugs
Registered: 10/08/02
Posts: 44,175
Last seen: 5 months, 9 days
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Re: Mother lectured me about MY marriage [Re: Drink_Punk_Soda]
#4403141 - 07/14/05 10:42 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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One post till you're at 1k.
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Mother lectured me about MY marriage [Re: Trav]
#4403171 - 07/14/05 10:53 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Trav said:
Quote:
Dreamer987 said: Better yet, acuse her of cheating on your pops by constantly humping the Bible.
hehe, good one!
My mom can't understand that I socialize better with guys then I do with the girlies (overall). I Dreamer, he's a GREAT friend! We've had lots of crazy times together. I'm alone all day when Kevin is at work, so it's a lot of fun to have someone in town to do stuff with. (when I'm not being a hermit, that is)
As for my mom's marriage...I sometimes wonder about that...this may sound gross, but I wonder if they've ever experimented like I do with my husband.
My mom basically just goes to church for her friends. Her one true friend (a pseudo-grandmother of mine) is dying of cancer, which sucks and I know it'll hit her pretty hard. I LOVE my parents, but they are SOOO out there! I can't communicate with them about anything without them fearing for my soul!
I keep fantasizing that one day...one day I'll tell them all my secrets that I wish I could tell them but I can't for fear that they'll flip. And they will too...if they ever knew that I did drugs, they try to force me into rehab.
One of the scariest things my mom has ever said to me is that if I don't take my child to church, she'll try and take him/her from me.
That's crazy huh?
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Silversoul
Rhizome
Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
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Re: Mother lectured me about MY marriage [Re: MOTH]
#4403181 - 07/14/05 10:56 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
EllemyshShade said: One of the scariest things my mom has ever said to me is that if I don't take my child to church, she'll try and take him/her from me.
That's crazy huh?
That's when you have her arrested for kidnapping. See how her church friends see her after she's a wanted felon.
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TYL3R
Registered: 11/19/04
Posts: 17,493
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Re: Mother lectured me about MY marriage [Re: MOTH]
#4403186 - 07/14/05 10:57 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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that's messed up.
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OneMoreRobot3021
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,026
Loc: the sky
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Re: Mother lectured me about MY marriage [Re: MOTH]
#4403187 - 07/14/05 10:57 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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Silly mama, fun is for kids and they wanna have it.
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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DoctorJ
Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,846
Loc: space
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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Re: Mother lectured me about MY marriage [Re: MOTH]
#4403212 - 07/14/05 11:04 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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I used to have a set of parents (mom and stepdad) who were like this.
but after all the crazy shit I got into in highschool, and my superb debate skills, they pretty much don't talk to me about shit like that anymore. Also, my Dad and stepmom are really liberal and trhere's that whole 'competition for son's love' thing going on...
anyway, you should stand up for youself more and after a few years of constant bickering, your parents will either get a lot cooler or just stop talking to you altogether. Push the boundaries and they will expand! At this point in my life (I'm 24), my parents are actually grateful and credit me with 'expanding their minds' about a lot of things...
seriously, do it now before it becomes a 'how you raise your kid' issue...
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HELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag
Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 84,387
Loc: Afghanistan
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Re: Mother lectured me about MY marriage [Re: MOTH]
#4403215 - 07/14/05 11:04 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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Choke slam her. That's what I do to my mom when she acts a fool.
--------------------
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Mother lectured me about MY marriage [Re: MOTH]
#4403222 - 07/14/05 11:07 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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I LOVE my parents, but they are SOOO out there! I can't communicate with them about anything without them fearing for my soul! _________________________________________________________
Honestly, I don't know why you " LOVE" people who don't respect you? Would you pick friends who treated you this way? Do you think you are supposed to put up with your parents no matter how they treat you?
. Maybe you should consider loving them from a distance, like you would all the other suffering souls out there. Why waste your life with people who don't respect you? Really, have you thought about it?
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Mother lectured me about MY marriage [Re: Icelander]
#4403242 - 07/14/05 11:17 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said: I LOVE my parents, but they are SOOO out there! I can't communicate with them about anything without them fearing for my soul! _________________________________________________________
Honestly, I don't know why you " LOVE" people who don't respect you? Would you pick friends who treated you this way? Do you think you are supposed to put up with your parents no matter how they treat you?
. Maybe you should consider loving them from a distance, like you would all the other suffering souls out there. Why waste your life with people who don't respect you? Really, have you thought about it?
OH yes, when I left their house at 18 we didn't speak for an entire year! It haunted me...I have agonized over the issue of my parents like you wouldn't believe. The fact is, I have a scarce handful of happy memories with them. Most of my memories of them are tinged in bitterness, but I have FORGIVEN them! And I hope that maybe some day, we can see eye-to-eye.
The truth is, they did/said everything to me because they loved me. The WORST thing for a fundie Christian to think about is that one of his children will go to hell. It is my dad's worst fear that he will not see each of his children in heaven. So he went down on his kids really hard, too hard. When I was a kid living in his house, it was like he was trying to hammer a square shape into a circular hole. Like, so many of my "issues" came about from that lifestyle they tried to force me to live...and I was so angry about it for the longest time. But now I feel forgiveness for it all...
It's not that I think I HAVE to put up with them, it's because I WANT to, because I know they love me and that their worst crime is caring too much. I want to salvage the relationship that was almost destroyed in my teen years. Yeah, they're a pain at times, but I keep hoping that we'll become more then just parent/child, and one day become friends.
One day I will reveal the total truth about myself to them and on that day the ball will be in their court. Whether or not they will accept me at that time is up to them.
Anyway...yeah...my parents drive me crazy!! But I can't help but love them for loving me.
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Phychotron
Crazy Mofo
Registered: 06/17/02
Posts: 9,102
Loc: In A Forest Of Colossal F...
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Re: Mother lectured me about MY marriage [Re: Icelander]
#4403332 - 07/14/05 11:42 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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dang churcies... my brothers buddie had super holy rollin parents, crazy too (who'd a though).. but he moved out when he was 17, and then moved back when he was 18, cause he didnt have a place to go... well, they were all super strict on him, like if he came home past 10, it was a $10 fine, and shit like that.. they would actualy lock his door, with a 2key deadbolt if he didnt pay... and if he didnt go to churh, an 18 yr old person, he would have to pay $50... he moved out quickly...
this is the same people who, in the middle of the night, accused him of "stealing food" from the refriderator when he was 15.. his mom busted him, flashlight in hand, making a sandwhich in the middle of the night...
and his dad, well, one time they bought a box of fruit popcicles.. the good kind... well, there was like, 3 left after everyone had one for desert... so the next day there was only 2 in the box... so he had a hole from his door knob in his room, and his dad is like "i KNOW YOU STOLE IT, JUST ADMIT IT" so he wouldnt fess up.. and he kept yellin that he knows he put the wraper in the hole in the wall... so finaly he got so pissed that he ripped off teh drywall down to the floor, and he found a fudgeicle wraper, and is like "SEE, I TOLD YOU... " and so my brothers buddie is like "that's to a fudgeicle, those are fruit bars in the freezer"... so he just stormed off..
and the funniest story, my brother and he were moving some dresser for there parents while they werent home, for some reason... and his buddy opened a drawer, and finds this puppet, of a parrot. but it's not big enough to stick your hand in... it was some penis puppet... so he took it and streched it over there doorknob... so they came home... puppet was gone instantly, nothing was said, and he didtn catch shit for the longest time...
-------------------- On a mission to prove that the truth gets you no where. They tried the truth, It didn't work. Then they wrote the bible. Only the foolish fear the inevitable.
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MAIA
World-BridgerKartikeya (DftS)
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Loc: Erra - 20 Tauri - M45 Sta...
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Re: Mother lectured me about MY marriage [Re: MOTH]
#4403340 - 07/14/05 11:44 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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Just tell her you're a responsible adult, end of conversation. She's worried about you and that's the way she deals with the situation. It's normal for such religious parents to doubt more liberal and modern relationships. Any change on her behavior depends on how flexible your mom is, meanwhile you'll just have to live with it.
MAIA
-------------------- Spiritual being, living a human experience ... The Shroomery Mandala Use, do not abuse; neither abstinence nor excess ever renders man happy. Voltaire
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drtyfrnk
PresidentialCandidate 2008
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Posts: 2,961
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Last seen: 14 years, 5 months
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Re: Mother lectured me about MY marriage [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
#4403485 - 07/14/05 12:24 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
HELLA_TIGHT said: Choke slam her. That's what I do to my mom when she acts a fool.
-------------------- It's Krang, Bitch!
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Mother lectured me about MY marriage [Re: MOTH]
#4403548 - 07/14/05 12:39 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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The truth is, they did/said everything to me because they loved me. ______________________________________________________
I have a different interpetation of why they did everything to you Ellemy. I would just like you to consider it. I don't know your parents.
I grew up in a fundamentalist Bapist family. That house was full of fear. My parents came down on me because they were afraid of the life force I had. My natural, loving, sexual, curious, playful being, that they had forever run from in their own lives. I was a constant reminder of that and they had to shut me down. It wasn't love it was fear. To love children you have to let them live, not shut them down to protect your own fears.
I understand how important it is to forgive your parents. That is a positive thing. But not to tell it like it is to them and take your lumps is to live out the same fear that they have. It will leak out into all aspects of your life. Just something to consider.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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