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InvisibleEmbracingShadows
Deaf
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Registered: 05/23/05
Posts: 227
HELP PLEASE
    #4401755 - 07/14/05 12:03 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

This really fucking sucks... i called my girlfriend the day i was arrested and she had to call me back before i told her ( wich was like 30 seconds) she never did so i called her back and didnt get an answer so i left her a message sayin what was up. she called the next day and i wasnt there and i got home ten minutes later and tryed to call her and her answering machine message was her crying saying she didnt want to talk and shit and then now she wont talk to me. i havnt been able to reach her in any way. she wont talk to me its like she instantly judged and thought i did sumthin so teriible she wont talk to me its like shes pushing me away and it really hurts i love her so much and its tearing me apart im not showing it much but i bottle it up inside.my friends can tell when im thinkin about it. i need as much advice as possible it would be much appreciated. i dont want this to end with her especially not like this. any way you can help i want it i need it i dont know what to do anymore i dont know what to say anymore. it really sucks and its making me feel terrible and empty inside. please help me anyway you can and give me any advice that will help. im so confused and feel hopless and left in the dark.


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Invisiblepaulie_walnuts1
Stranger
Registered: 05/13/05
Posts: 508
Re: HELP PLEASE [Re: EmbracingShadows]
    #4401928 - 07/14/05 01:25 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Buy her a car or something, girls dig "stuff". FUck, just hand her an envolope full of cash. It'll be all good. Like, plagiarize a good poem off the net and put it in the envelope too, so's she don't get the wrong idea. Goddamn I'm helpful.


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InvisibleSuperD
Cacti junky
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Registered: 10/05/03
Posts: 6,648
Loc: The bridgesii bridge
Re: HELP PLEASE [Re: EmbracingShadows]
    #4401933 - 07/14/05 01:27 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

It sounds to me like a bad coincidence of timing on the part of you getting arrested and her not wanting to talk to you. Did she know you got arrested before she decided she didn't want to talk?

Also, if she doesn't want to be with you, for whatever reason, then don't push her back into the relationship forcefully. Sure, it sucks if she doesn't want to be with you anymore. But luckily for you, us males are far outnumbered by females, so there shouldn't ever be a problem with you finding another girl once you get over this one.

I'm not suggesting a breakup is imminent, but the fact that she doesn't want to talk to you doesn't sound very good. Good luck, cheer up, and let us know how everything goes. For every one girl you meet that is attracted to you, there are thousands more out there that you haven't met yet that would feel the same way about you.


--------------------
:super:D
Manoa said:
I need to stop spending all my money on plants and take up a cheaper hobby, like heroin. :lol:

Looking for Rauhocereus riosaniensis seeds or live specimen(s), :pm: me if you have any for trade


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InvisibleEmbracingShadows
Deaf
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Registered: 05/23/05
Posts: 227
Re: HELP PLEASE [Re: SuperD]
    #4401977 - 07/14/05 01:43 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

she wont talk to me because of it and im not trying to force her or anything ive been giving her space for like umm 2 or 3 weeks now and its been that long and i just feel really bad cuz we had so much and one thing like that just like fucked it all up so it really hurts. and i left her a message saying if she doesnt want to be with me anymore its fine i still want to be her friend though because shes a great person and shes done so much for me and stuff. its like she wont have anything to do with me and it just hurts to lose her especially this wayt and her my first true true love it really really sucks. im willing to move on though because i care about her so much and respect her and all of her wishes.


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Offlinecrunchytoast
oppositional

Registered: 04/07/05
Posts: 1,133
Loc: aporia
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
Re: HELP PLEASE [Re: EmbracingShadows]
    #4402035 - 07/14/05 02:16 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

what about it makes you hopeless?


--------------------
"consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 93,974
Loc: underbelly
Re: HELP PLEASE [Re: crunchytoast]
    #4402828 - 07/14/05 11:12 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

That's a real good question. :thumbup: :heart:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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InvisibleSinbad
Living TheMoment
Male

Registered: 12/23/04
Posts: 2,571
Loc: Under The Bodhi Tree
Re: HELP PLEASE [Re: EmbracingShadows]
    #4403293 - 07/14/05 01:35 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

What did you get arrested for?


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InvisibleEmbracingShadows
Deaf
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Registered: 05/23/05
Posts: 227
Re: HELP PLEASE [Re: Sinbad]
    #4403783 - 07/14/05 03:20 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Sinbad said:
What did you get arrested for?


You can find the whole story of me getting arrested in my post "I got arrested"



crunchytoast said:
what about it makes you hopeless?


it doesnt make me hopless it makes me feel hopless and left in the dark because it feels like theres nothing i can do to get through to her and it hurts so it makes me feel alone and hopless. in the sense that it feels like im losing her and cant stop it from happening.


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 93,974
Loc: underbelly
Re: HELP PLEASE [Re: EmbracingShadows]
    #4404011 - 07/14/05 04:09 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

If she can't stand to talk to you. If she doesn't like what you are and do. If she won't hear what you have to say. Then who is she? Is she the woman who loves you, or is she the woman you want to believe loves you. You may have to find out and take your lumps. Good luck.  :heart: :mushroom2:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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InvisibleEmbracingShadows
Deaf
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Registered: 05/23/05
Posts: 227
Re: HELP PLEASE [Re: Icelander]
    #4404231 - 07/14/05 05:04 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

ya... she was the one who first came out and said she loved me and said she never wanted to stop loving me and alot of other stuff she even went as far as writing shit and sending it to me and i just dont know anymore she said so much stuff alot of it really deep.i thought of her differant than to use somebody and pump me full of lies and play me like a nickel arcade. i hope this isnt the case. i love her and hope she really does truly love me i hope she comes around and forgives me or lets it go. shes defintly someone i can see myself with longer than this year and 3 month period. i truly love her and i figured if she feels the same she will come around. i just dont want to get hurt like that and that bad.


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OfflineWeAreAllOne
Opethian

Registered: 06/25/05
Posts: 2,649
Loc: Pennsylvania
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
Re: HELP PLEASE [Re: EmbracingShadows]
    #4404396 - 07/14/05 05:35 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

I don't mean to seem like a narcissist, but similar to what Icelander stated... if she can't accept what you have done or even give you the chance to explain the circumstances, maybe she was not right for you after all?  Good luck with the situation. :heart: :thumbup:


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InvisibleVeritas
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Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,088
Re: HELP PLEASE [Re: WeAreAllOne]
    #4404448 - 07/14/05 05:42 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

I've posted this before, but thought it might be appropriate to share it again:

It is very natural to respond to a "betrayal" of our expectations with anger and hurt, but in order to grow as people, the next step would be to take personal responsibility for having the expectations in the first place. Whenever I feel hurt BY someone, I know it is time for me to process my emotional reactions and get at the root of the issue: my attachments and expectations. As soon as I take responsibility, I can see that the person I thought was hurting me was simply doing their best to grow and be happy. That often includes making big mistakes!


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OfflinePhluck
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Registered: 04/11/99
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Re: HELP PLEASE [Re: EmbracingShadows]
    #4404460 - 07/14/05 05:46 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Write to her, not just e-mail, a piece of paper in her mailbox.

Make sure she knows what really happened.

Apologize to her that she had to hear such bad things. She may have friends or family trying to convince her not to date you because they've heard you hit you mom. Even though the accusation is false, and it's not your fault, say you're sorry.

She might be frightened by the idea that you actually did hit your mom. Especially if your dad and brother witnessed the events and aren't sticking up for you. Show her that you would never do anything like this. Make sure your letter makes it clear how you feel about your own mother betraying you like that.


--------------------
"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us


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OfflinePowerTrip
Polypharmaceutical Shaman
Male

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 03/07/05
Posts: 1,148
Loc: The void
Last seen: 4 years, 10 months
Re: HELP PLEASE [Re: EmbracingShadows]
    #4405263 - 07/14/05 09:33 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

As soon as I read your first post, I knew instantly that this girl was obviously your first love. This is something that almost every guy must go through at some point in his life, usually during the late teen years. You fall hopelessly in love with a girl and become overly attached to her. The odds of actually getting married and having it work out are very low, but it is difficult to understand this fact when you are drunk with love.

It is a fact of life that all things must change. Nothing in this world is permanent, not even love, especially not the love of a teenage girl. She did not lie to you or betray you in any way. She has no more control over her emotions than you do. I bet if you had the choice you would let go of this pain right now and be done with it, but it is not so simple.

You should take all you have learned from this relationship and move on with your life. If you insist on trying to win her back, the best thing you can do at this point is give her space. Ringing her phone 25 times a day will only reassure her that she made the right decision by breaking it off with you. If she thinks that you have moved on with your life she will have a great deal more respect for you. If at all possible you should just disappear for a couple weeks. If she really loves you, she knows where to find you.

Some say that a woman never truly loves a man. That her true love is reserved only for her children. Judging from my personal experience, I would have to agree.


--------------------
I spit reality, instead of what you usually learn
and I refuse to be concerned with condescending advice
cause I'm the only motherfucker that can change my life


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Offlinedaimyo
Monticello

Registered: 05/13/04
Posts: 7,751
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: HELP PLEASE [Re: EmbracingShadows]
    #4406029 - 07/15/05 12:22 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

As a couple others have mentioned, if she is unwilling to hear you out, then she is not for you.
It'll take a while to get over her, but everyone goes through it at some point. Sucks, but that's just how it goes.

Get out and enjoy life. Go party with some friends and just unwind.


--------------------
"I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 93,974
Loc: underbelly
Re: HELP PLEASE [Re: PowerTrip]
    #4407103 - 07/15/05 09:07 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Some say that a woman never truly loves a man. That her true love is reserved only for her children. Judging from my personal experience, I would have to agree.
______________________________________________________

I came to this conclusion also. Then I met my current partner and now think that there are exceptions to the rule.  I think it's because men and women are often in competition for power in the relationship and don't really communicate honestly or know how to work together on emotional/spiritual growth.  So each has a secret agenda. Just a guess. :mushroom2:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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InvisibleEmbracingShadows
Deaf
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Registered: 05/23/05
Posts: 227
Re: HELP PLEASE [Re: Icelander]
    #4408323 - 07/15/05 05:28 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Everything is alright!!!! im so glad and releaved she didnt feel good about what she was doing at all and ended up calling me this morning crying and feeling really bad for it. she was angry at everyone and it made her really upset that i got arrested she missed me so much.. ive never heard her sob before.. it made me feel really bad but i got her to stop by saying BITCH SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH! not really but ya ive always been good about making her feel better and stop crying my voice comforts her for some reason. and the stuff i say just comes straight from my heart and makes her feel better. thanks for the help guys and your input. to be honest i took some of your advice and wrote her a letter. ill post it on here if you want me to. but it clearly made her realize what was happening. Thanks again guys for all your help. :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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Offlinemrsautoman
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Registered: 06/15/05
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Re: HELP PLEASE [Re: PowerTrip]
    #4408521 - 07/15/05 06:12 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

PowerTrip said:
Some say that a woman never truly loves a man.  That her true love is reserved only for her children.  Judging from my personal experience, I would have to agree.




Right. Cause women aren't people with a capacity for a range of human emotion. They are baby making automatons.

Except for those women who decide not to have kids. What a waste of a good pair of ovaries, eh? We should burn 'em at the stake.

(but I thought the rest of your post was spot on  :smile: )


--------------------

~I was born of a voice untimely,
the so-called echo of a man's ordure~


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OfflinePowerTrip
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Re: HELP PLEASE [Re: mrsautoman]
    #4409504 - 07/15/05 10:50 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

KittenBreath said:
Quote:

PowerTrip said:
Some say that a woman never truly loves a man.  That her true love is reserved only for her children.  Judging from my personal experience, I would have to agree.




Right. Cause women aren't people with a capacity for a range of human emotion. They are baby making automatons.

Except for those women who decide not to have kids. What a waste of a good pair of ovaries, eh? We should burn 'em at the stake.

(but I thought the rest of your post was spot on  :smile: )




I was simply repeating a statement that I had read, which seems fairly accurate in my experience.  Some women do indeed have love and devotion towards a man, but it seems to fall short of the love a man has towards a woman if he truly loves her.  Especially if it is his first love.  Statistics back up this statement because men are a great deal more likely to commit suicide after a failed relationship than women.

I feel it is also fairly apparent that there is no love that rivals that which a mother has for her children.  Once again, this is not saying that a father has no love for his children, but it doesn't seem to compare to that of women.  No matter what you do in life, it is likely your mother will always love and support you.  You can watch the local news and see a man arrested for shooting a house full of people in cold blood, and then see his mother on camera crying and saying "he was always such a good boy, he never hurt anybody."

True love is blind.


--------------------
I spit reality, instead of what you usually learn
and I refuse to be concerned with condescending advice
cause I'm the only motherfucker that can change my life


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Offlinecrunchytoast
oppositional

Registered: 04/07/05
Posts: 1,133
Loc: aporia
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
Re: HELP PLEASE [Re: EmbracingShadows]
    #4418191 - 07/18/05 09:48 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

i'm glad the ordeal is over and everything worked out! :thumbup:

(ps if you want to post your letter ill definately read it. but dont post it if you dont feel like it)


--------------------
"consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger


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