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Shop: Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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InvisibleSilversoul
Rhizome
Male User Gallery

Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
Re: tribute to the nice guys [Re: In(di)go]
    #4399296 - 07/13/05 10:27 AM (18 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

In(di)go said:
great post, man!  :thumbup:

"I don't deserve you"

ohhhh that's a classic... i've heard that one a few times... and i can't help thinking "so what are you going to do about it? try to improve yourself so you deserve me? or run away because you are afraid of being a good person who deserves to be treated right?" man!



That's basically why my ex-girlfriend left me.  She had big self-esteem problems, and felt I was too good for her.


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InvisibleVvellum
Stranger

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 10,920
Re: tribute to the nice guys [Re: Silversoul]
    #4399442 - 07/13/05 11:26 AM (18 years, 8 months ago)

she felt too overwhelmed and/or smothered.
thats what "I dont deserve you" means.

guys, sometimes you gotta chill out
disappear for a few days (do your own thing)
not call
chill with other girls

otherwise chicks get spooked.
thats what "nice guys" dont get.

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InvisibleSilversoul
Rhizome
Male User Gallery

Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
Re: tribute to the nice guys [Re: Vvellum]
    #4399450 - 07/13/05 11:30 AM (18 years, 8 months ago)

I gave her her space(I had to, considering we had a long-distance relationship). I'm dead serious when I say she had major self-esteem issues. She used to cut herself. She's been in a fucked up space in her head for a while. When she said she didn't deserve me, that's pretty much what she meant. She wanted to be hurt, because that's the only feeling she really knows.


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Edited by Paradigm (07/13/05 05:11 PM)

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OfflineDivided_Sky
Ten ThousandThings

Registered: 11/02/03
Posts: 3,171
Loc: The Shining Void
Last seen: 15 years, 9 months
Re: tribute to the nice guys [Re: Silversoul]
    #4399484 - 07/13/05 11:41 AM (18 years, 8 months ago)

I think it is strangely interesting that in order to be attractive to the opposite sex and respected by your own you have to hurt other people. If some dude attacks you you aren't a real man unless you kick his ass. If you do nice things for people they just make you do it alot and don't reward you in any way for your time and effort. And with women unless you treat them like crap you are weak or undesirable.

I start to second guess myself, society as a whole seems to conclude that unless you abuse others are violent or aggressive in asserting yourself you deserve to be abused. The nicer you are the worse people treat you, and I'm not talking nice in the insecure, needy, no self-esteem way. Just being altruistic or easygoing makes you a target for people who think you are weak.

Not everybody is nice to others because they are trying to get something with it. This is just how I am, and acting any other way seems contrived and unatural. I don't give a fuck about how I am supposed to be, but it does suck to get rejected, falsely arrested, beat up, identity stolen, your security deposit not payed back, and being used for rides to the airport. I wish people would just respect me for being how I want to be. It doesn't mean I am servile or weak. I think being spineless is giving into to the delusional ego centered view that to be a real man you have to hurt, manipulate and abuse other people. I see nothing respectable about people with no self control, who get angry easily and hurt others, who's only interest is their own basest self interest. To me that is degenrate.

Sometimes I wonder if have been wrong for not being being a forceful person, because maybe being peaceful and kind actually makes the world a worse place than agressively confronting people, because then the assholes think they can get away with whatever they want. Maybe I'm just misguided and nieve. But then again, I would never want to be one of them, or help reinforce their negative cultural models.


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1. "After an hour I wasn't feeling anything so I decided to take another..."
2. "We were feeling pretty good so we decided to smoke a few bowls..."
3. "I had to be real quiet because my parents were asleep upstairs..."

Edited by Divided_Sky (07/13/05 01:39 PM)

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InvisibletrendalM
J♠
Male User Gallery

Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Re: tribute to the nice guys [Re: Vvellum]
    #4399493 - 07/13/05 11:43 AM (18 years, 8 months ago)

guys, sometimes you gotta chill out
disappear for a few days (do your own thing)
not call
chill with other girls


My problem is exactly the opposite.

I tend to forget about anything that's not sitting directly in front of me...so I may be guilty of some neglect :smirk:


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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.

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OfflineSpooge
The Nutter
Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 5,189
Loc: Ice patches that last for...
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
Re: tribute to the nice guys [Re: Vvellum]
    #4400267 - 07/13/05 03:20 PM (18 years, 8 months ago)

.

Edited by Spooge (04/01/12 03:52 PM)

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Invisiblemyndreach
philosopher
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 2,368
Re: tribute to the nice guys [Re: Spooge]
    #4400381 - 07/13/05 03:45 PM (18 years, 8 months ago)

my favorite is girld that say, "man he's such an asshole...where are all the nice guys?"

In high school, when hearing that, I would always want to scream, "AT HOME ALONE SPANKING THEIR MONKEY WONDERING WHY YOU ARE STILL DATING A FUCKING ASSHOLE INSTEAD OF THEM!"

Ahem...wow that was cathartic...I spent 3 years as a friend to a girl who always complained about her asshole boyfriend who hit her and then eventually knocked her up before dumping her ass. I REALLY was just a friend, but sometimes it got pretty annoying listening to her complain about him, when I was right there, willing to be with her.

Edited by myndreach (07/13/05 03:45 PM)

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OfflineThe_Hobbit
Bilbo Baggins
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Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 1,382
Loc: The Shire
Last seen: 17 years, 11 days
Re: tribute to the nice guys [Re: Spooge]
    #4400710 - 07/13/05 04:54 PM (18 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

entityexperiment said:
I'll leave with an EXACT quote from the most recent women I've started hanging out with...

"You are SO nice.  Honestly, it's weird.  So nice and I love it.  I was talking with my brother and his friends and we were talking about you.  My brother said, 'yea nick's a really good guy. so different'.  I said, 'yea he is, isn't he so incredibly nice?'.  You seem to good to be true nick.  I think it was fate that I met such a nice good guy like you.  I need to be with someone like you"

3 days later, I'm still her friend and yea, she adores me to pieces.  But we've already had the discussion where she said she wants to be friends...best friends  :thumbdown:



I think the key to winning a woman's heart is to stimulate emotion. Asshole guys do this all the time because they don't care about the woman they're with. They don't care if they make the woman angry and mad. The woman is the man's bitch. That's how she likes it, even if she doesn't know it. She likes to be on an emotional roller coaster, going from love to hate, up and down. It's fun. It's drama. It's what many women want.

The hard thing about being a nice guy is that you have to be genuine. You have to be spontaneous, fun, exciting, romantic, everything and anything creative to keep things vital. This takes charisma, intellegence, ingenuity, and all the other admirable traits that you can think of.

Isn't it so much easier to be an asshole? =)


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Smoking my hobbit leaf...
Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.

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