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crunchytoast
oppositional
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is love a lie?
#4388959 - 07/10/05 02:17 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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is love a lie? yes or no, how do you know?
-------------------- "consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger
Edited by crunchytoast (07/10/05 02:22 AM)
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lemon_lw
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nope. cause im a human and i can feel emotions. its just hard to find for some.
-------------------- In the belly of the Leviathan, one can either despair and perish, or be cheerful and persevere.-Dean Koontz
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Le_Canard
The Duk Abides
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Nope, it's certainly alive and well. I have been loved and love others in return. It does exist, even though the asshats in this world make it seem like it doesn't....
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crunchytoast
oppositional
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Re: is love a lie? [Re: lemon_lw]
#4389027 - 07/10/05 02:45 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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isn't it possible the love you're talking about is a projection of a person's own needs? example: a parent loves a child; but isn't that because of the meaning having a child has for that parent, rather than the child himself? if someone has "a face only a mother could love" that means they have an ugly face
so in a sense yes love may be a lie, something based on projections not reality
-------------------- "consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger
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lemon_lw
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just because love is a lie in certain cases doesnt mean love is a lie.
-------------------- In the belly of the Leviathan, one can either despair and perish, or be cheerful and persevere.-Dean Koontz
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crunchytoast
oppositional
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i guess i wonder to what degree love is about faith
that would have been a better way to ask my question.
-------------------- "consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger
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Le_Canard
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Mmmm...no, I really don't think so. It's rather hard to explain, really. Love is (in part) genuine care and concern for the well-being and happiness of the loved one, be it friend, child, relative or even a pet. If love was just what the loved person (or creature) meant to the person loving, would they not be concerned about such esoterica such as the happiness of the loved one.
Here's some advice: "Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass"
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crunchytoast
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Re: is love a lie? [Re: Le_Canard]
#4389070 - 07/10/05 03:12 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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good point toiletduk about caring about the happiness of the loved
but i still think that could be viewed in a cynical way
ithe mother loves the son because of the meaning that having a son has for her
consequently she starts to care about the son's happiness
but this genuine care has an arbitrary foundation
IOW she may really love her son, but she only loves him because he's her son, so what's so special about that?
in that sense love could still be a lie
-------------------- "consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger
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mrsautoman
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Quote:
crunchytoast said: i guess i wonder to what degree love is about faith
that would have been a better way to ask my question.
Maybe I'm not sure exactly what you mean here, but I'll give it a go.
For me love exists completely independently of all other factors. I often feel it for no reason towards people I don't even really know. When I give love I anticipate nothing in return. Love is something that is it's own reward. That's why Jesus was the bomb. That was his whole deal. Do everything from love.
I look back on the people I've thought I've loved, and in comparison with the love I have now it's hard to reconcile the two. I've been through some pretty shitty things with the people I loved, and upon reflection it seemed the potency of my love was diminished by a lack of return. Now I realize that even though some people didn't seem to deserve or appreciate the love I tried to give, they sure as hell needed it at the time. I'm glad I was there to love them, and I can never fully express my appreciation for the love I have received that I probably did not deserve.
Loving someone should be about freedom, not chains. If you give someone your love without expectation, they can never disappoint you.
-------------------- ~I was born of a voice untimely, the so-called echo of a man's ordure~
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Le_Canard
The Duk Abides
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Well, the love between a mother and her child IS a special thing. I suppose you could talk about instinct here, and that is in play. But we humans, go far, far beyond instinct here. But who knows what love REALLY is? I sure don't. All I know is that it's a good feeling to love and be loved. I love my cat, but not just because he's my cat, and that's that.
You know, a little cynicism isn't necessarily a bad thing, but being too cynical can often blind one to the good in this world and make one bitter. (Please don't take that as a disparagement - just something for you think about )
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
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Re: is love a lie? [Re: Le_Canard]
#4389187 - 07/10/05 06:18 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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How about unconditional love. This is love to me. Everything else is fulfillment of our own needs. (That's not bad by the way). Unconditional love accepts everything as it is, according to it's nature and sees in all manifestation, however it appears, the light of creation, which is eternal Tao.
I wouldn't believe it possible to feel like this if I hadn't at one time experienced it. So there is no way to "prove" it. Yet it continues to be confirmed in my living and dying.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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butterflydawn
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Re: is love a lie? [Re: Icelander]
#4389197 - 07/10/05 06:27 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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love is not a lie love is ohh so true and sometimes it hurts so much.
-------------------- lucidal expansion
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redgreenvines
irregular verb
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when we talk about it it is often a lie. but you can point in its direction, you can put all your energy into it, you can yearn for it, you can bask in its warmth
-------------------- _ 🧠 _
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
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Quote:
butterflydawn said: love is not a lie love is ohh so true and sometimes it hurts so much.
How does love hurt?
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Gomp
¡(Bound to·(O))be free!
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IS it loving to lie? :P
-------------------- -------------------- Disclaimer!?
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Phluck
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It's only a lie if you thought it was something it isn't.
Are you denying that people love one another? That people fall in love?
-------------------- "I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson http://phluck.is-after.us
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MarkostheGnostic
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What do you mean? I'm not trying to be difficult. Is there no such thing as selfless, altruistic motivation? Or, is 'love' just a bio-psychological complex that serves reproduction of our species? Do you mean love as a motive, an emotion or as a spiritual state of being?
The Greek words for love include Agape [selfless, altruistic], Eros [yearning to merge with the 'other,' whether human or divine], Philias [brotherly/sisterly affection]; and Latin (Catholic) has Caritas [charity in the King James Bible] which is a combination of the Greek Agape and Eros.
My cousin visited me recently. She 'loves' everything: this movie, that car, this actor, etc., etc. That is the common, meaningless use of the English word 'love.' If I 'love' chocolate and I 'love' you, do the two 'loves' equate? I hate to say this but, please define your term.
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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OldWoodSpecter
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Quote:
crunchytoast said: is love a lie? yes or no, how do you know?
love is love. It doesn't matter what is it made of (selfish needs or not) It makes the world a better place and that is all that there is to know about it. If it aint broken, don't fix it.
If love is selfish, then let's be selfish and love each other
-------------------- I descend upon your earth from the skies I command your very souls you unbelievers Bring before me what is mine
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moog
Stranger
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That depends on what your definition of love is.
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DoctorJ
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all I know is that love is within me.
its the rest of the world I'm unsure about.
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crunchytoast
oppositional
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Quote:
Phluck said It's only a lie if you thought it was something it isn't.
Are you denying that people love one another? That people fall in love?
"love is a lie" means to me something like there's nothing special about love, as if it's not this redeeming, transcendent thing that it's made out to me
my theory is that there's two ways to look at love, a cynical and an idealistic way; and there's no way to know which one is true. so i wonder if it's about faith.
the most frequent answer seems to be that love is not a lie since one can feel it. now i dont know if my theory that love is about faith is right, but if it is, i'd have to say that a person could interpret their feelings in a cynical way too.
say two people fall in love, get together, then she cheats on him and they break up. some dudes lose faith in love altogether after that. even though he experienced the same emotions as any one else on falling in love, he gives those emotions a different interpretation: he says damn i was wrong, i felt what i felt but love is a lie.
markosthegnostic: i would say it's a state of being implied by the emotions a person feels. and it's spiritual since what isn't? since it's a state of being i would say it's also a motive. and love for chocolate and love for a person are different degrees of the same thing. emotions: i would say the lover delights in and has compassion for the loved.
i'm glad you posted because i'm thinking about it in a religious context when people say god is love, and then talk about faith. i've had christians tell me you can have heaven/hell on earth. is that about faith? where heaven is if you believe in love, and hell is where you've lost faith in it?
i mean, religion is loaded but from certain perspectives i think there's truth to it sometimes.
-------------------- "consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
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If you haven't felt something how would you believe it?
My defination rules out most concepts of love.
Unconditional love is a very fine feeling and never has to do with pain or loss.
Unconditional love is a gift. If you give a gift and you expect something back or expect that someone will behave toward your gift in a certain way then it wasn't a gift. It was a business deal. That's what most people call love IMO. Unconditional love gives the gift and then lets it go, a true gift. That kind of giving brings ecstasy.
Check it out.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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MarkostheGnostic
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The life of Heaven and Hell begin for a person while yet alive on Earth. The terms Heaven and Hell are not 'places' above and below a 'flat' Earth (as previously conceived). Heaven and Hell may mean the Glory and Wrath of GOD. They might mean the experience of the individual depending upon whether one has identified oneself with Love and Light, or whether one has died with a primarily physical identity (i.e., 'intellectual meat').
In the first case, Heaven might be the ecstatic result of the mind-body falling away, allowing our True Spiritual nature to expand unhindered as we always hoped and believed it would, but were always 'trapped' by our body and mind. Like slipping into a warm, comforting bath of pure Light and Love. Ahhhhhhh.
On the Hellish side is the terror of one's mind and body dying, and never having had any expectation for anything to result but oblivion. The Light is like a nuclear fire. It burns like Hell. It is immersion in boiling metal to the ego. It is NOT black oblivion it is the White Light of Unmitigated Reality. There is no escape, the radiance passes through and through one's being. One would take refuge in anything - any source of darkness - even the body of a piglet being born on a hog farm! One then leaves metaphysical Hell for the Hell of being born a pig raised for slaughter. Little opportunity for practicing Compassion in that life form. One has gone from the Fire to the frying pan, so-to-speak.
Of course, I am just being creative with the basic Heaven-Hell dichotomy of today's Christian metaphysic combined with an earlier Christian belief in Transmigration. Whatever the process turns out to be, we 'align' ourselves with the Light or the Dark while yet in this life. We become Children of Light or Children of Darkness. We behave as though materiality is GOD, and swindle and kill for the gain of worldly desires, or we worship the True GOD in Spirit and in Truth as Compassionate beings.
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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Veritas
Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
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I believe that there is no other love than unconditional, unlimited, open-hearted, soul-to-soul love.
The differences in the human EXPERIENCE of love exist because we are more or less skillful in allowing ourselves to open to and share the perfect love that infuses the world.
My early experiences of love included fear, need, desire, loneliness, control, suspicion, desperation, and self-loathing. These states closed me to experiencing love in its entireity.
As my inner work frees me (little by little, more by more) from those closing states, I feel larger "flows" of love. I sense that, unbeknownst to me, I have been immersed in it all along. That love has no limits, no requirements, and no pain. This is the miracle of my everyday life these days!
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redgreenvines
irregular verb
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Posts: 38,062
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sexual love is not a simple issue, we have layers of instinctive behaviour that co-ordinate with love but are not love - love then becomes a kind of experiential ingredient fascilitating procreation, and social sturcture.
it is easy to list what is not love: 1. anger 2. jealousy 3. spite 4. sexual appetite 5. covetousness
but it is hard to ignore how love weaves inbetween these 1. attraction 2. benevolence 3. forgiveness and caring 4. ecstatic sexual congress 5. appreciation and empathy.
what is usually called love when discussing relationships and lovers turns into the odd tangle where love can play but is not love itself. But everyone agrees that it changes the light and the tempo of everything while it is burning brightly (is it therefore a mind state?).
One needs to be attuned to it to see love - one can enjoy it without seeing it for what it is, and can mourn it's passing blaming self and other but never really knowing what happenned.
-------------------- _ 🧠 _
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