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Invisibledorkus
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Emotional sensitivity
    #4379416 - 07/07/05 12:55 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

An article some might find motivating if life has been kicking their ass lately.


Highly Sensitive People: Emotional Sensitivity
By Kyra Mesich, Psy.D.






Emotional Sensitivity

Empathic people do have observable traits that are easily identified. Interestingly, the traits are a set of characteristics that have always had their own air of mystery. I'm referring to a set of psychological traits that has never been adequately explained before. These characteristics are commonly referred to as emotional sensitivity.



Sensitivity is a set of character traits that has just begun receiving attention from the psychological community within the past few years. This is strange, because it has always been fairly prevalent among the population. Nevertheless, it has not even been officially recognized as a personality type. I want to make sure that you understand what I mean when I use the term sensitivity. Following is a list that describes the attributes of emotionally sensitive people.



1. Emotionally sensitive people feel emotions often and deeply. They feel as if they "wear their emotions on their sleeves."



2. They are keenly aware of the emotions of people around them.



3. Sensitive people are easily hurt or upset. An insult or unkind remark will affect them deeply.



4. In a similar vein, sensitive people strive to avoid conflicts. They dread arguments and other types of confrontations because the negativity affects them so much.



5. Sensitive people are not able to shake off emotions easily. Once they are saddened or upset by something, they cannot just switch gears and forget it.



6. Sensitive people are greatly affected by emotions they witness. They feel deeply for others' suffering. Many sensitive people avoid sad movies or watching the news because they cannot bear the weighty emotions that would drive to their core and stick with them afterwards.



7. Sensitive people are prone to suffer from recurrent depression, anxiety or other psychological disorders.



8. One the positive side, sensitive people are also keenly aware of and affected by beauty in art, music and nature. They are the world's greatest artists and art appreciators.



9. Sensitive people are prone to stimulus overload. That is, they can't stand large crowds, loud noise, or hectic environments. They feel overwhelmed and depleted by too much stimuli.



10. Sensitive people are born that way. They were sensitive children.



There are a couple different responses kids have to their sensitivity. One type of sensitive child is the stereotypical kid who gets picked on by bullies, and is a well-behaved, good student because she cannot stand the thought of getting into trouble. The other type of sensitive child more often experiences the stimulus overload mentioned in the previous paragraph. These children are thus over stimulated and have difficulty focusing, which causes them problems in school.



Sensitive people typically exhibit all or nearly all of the above descriptors.



One of the sure signs of a truly sensitive person is that he feels animosity toward his sensitive nature. Most sensitive people whole-heartedly wish they were tougher and more thick-skinned. They feel like their sensitivity is a weakness. They wish things didn't bother them so much. They wish their emotions weren't so obvious to other people. They wish they could let things go and not worry so much. They aren't comfortable with their sensitivity, and wish they could do something to get rid of it (or at least get rid of the negative aspects of it). Therefore some sensitive adults have learned how to hide their sensitivity from others.



About Dr. Mesich

Kyra Mesich earned her doctoral degree in clinical psychology from the Florida Institute of Technology APA-approved program in Melbourne, FL. In the years since her training, Dr. Mesich has studied extensively in the field of alternative health. By studying such practices as herbalism, flower essence therapy, energy healing, and meditation, Dr. Mesich seeks to uncover the true meaning and underlying source of the emotional suffering so many of us endure. Dr. Mesich is the author of the award-winning book, The Sensitive Person's Survival Guide. She works and resides in Minneapolis, MN. Please visit her at: http://www.kyramesich.com/


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: Emotional sensitivity [Re: dorkus]
    #4379481 - 07/07/05 01:19 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:


One of the sure signs of a truly sensitive person is that he feels animosity toward his sensitive nature. Most sensitive people whole-heartedly wish they were tougher and more thick-skinned. They feel like their sensitivity is a weakness. They wish things didn't bother them so much. They wish their emotions weren't so obvious to other people. They wish they could let things go and not worry so much. They aren't comfortable with their sensitivity, and wish they could do something to get rid of it (or at least get rid of the negative aspects of it). Therefore some sensitive adults have learned how to hide their sensitivity from others.





but I am always interested in more sensitivity.
crank it to the max - intimacy you know,
where else could I go and still be me?


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OfflineWeAreAllOne
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Re: Emotional sensitivity [Re: redgreenvines]
    #4379615 - 07/07/05 02:05 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

I never realized I had so many of the things listed... strange what you don't notice when you don't want to...


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Invisiblemoog
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Re: Emotional sensitivity [Re: dorkus]
    #4379693 - 07/07/05 02:31 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

I wonder if emotional sensitivity is related to having an overly sensitive nervous system, since I "suffer" from both. It becomes a bit of a problem when you're under the influence of mushies or some other drug. Just a low dose of anything makes me *extremely* sensitive to outside stimuli. It's painful in a way because it feels like your mind is going to burst.


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Offlinemikeytwice
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Re: Emotional sensitivity [Re: moog]
    #4379709 - 07/07/05 02:35 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Aren't most of these points rather obvious?

They can be a bit of a generalization, though, as not all points necessarily apply to all "emotionally sensitive people."


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\


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Emotional sensitivity [Re: dorkus] * 1
    #4380232 - 07/07/05 04:53 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

To be this emotionally sensitive is a real drawback to living. I wonder about his statement that these children are born this way. I have my doubts about this. Although I do agree that some are born more sensitive than others. The atmosphere in the womb and the home might determine how well a child can handle emotional stress/sensitivity.

I was emotionally sensitive when a child, and it was due to my homelife with dysfunctional parents. It has been some work to change the negative aspects of this effect around. But I seem to be doing it. I'm glad no one told me it was my nature to be that way.  :laugh: I might not have determined to change it.  :thumbup: :heart:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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Offlinebarfightlard
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Re: Emotional sensitivity [Re: dorkus]
    #4380279 - 07/07/05 05:00 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Every point is true for myself.


--------------------

"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks


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Invisibledorkus
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Re: Emotional sensitivity [Re: barfightlard]
    #4380488 - 07/07/05 05:55 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

That goes for me to bellylard. :heart:

re Icelander

I really don't think this kinda emotional sensitivity is a drawback to be avoided or removed. It is only when dwelling in ones shadow aspects that it hurts.

When firmly rooted in being (here now - thank you :heart:) it enriches life, and I would not be otherwise.


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InvisibleSinbad
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Re: Emotional sensitivity [Re: dorkus]
    #4380707 - 07/07/05 06:59 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Yes!

Emotional sensitivity can be an excelelnt tool in developing skillfull compassion for oneself and others.


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Offlineexclusive58
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Re: Emotional sensitivity [Re: dorkus]
    #4380799 - 07/07/05 07:32 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

ya, every point is true for me as well, except that i don't avoid watching sad movies or the news.

i'm going to start reading a book on emotional intelligence, it looks interesting.


"...Emotional intelligence, on the other hand, "is a type of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one's own and others' emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use the information to guide one's thinking and actions" (Mayer & Salovey, 1993: 433). According to Salovey & Mayer (1990), EI subsumes Gardner's inter- and intrapersonal intelligences, and involves abilities that may be categorized into five domains:


Self-awareness:
Observing yourself and recognizing a feeling as it happens.

Managing emotions:
Handling feelings so that they are appropriate; realizing what is behind a feeling; finding ways to handle fears and anxieties, anger, and sadness.

Motivating oneself:
Channeling emotions in the service of a goal; emotional self control; delaying gratification and stifling impulses.

Empathy:
Sensitivity to others' feelings and concerns and taking their perspective; appreciating the differences in how people feel about things.

Handling relationships:
Managing emotions in others; social competence and social skills."


--------------------


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Invisibleniteowl
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Re: Emotional sensitivity [Re: exclusive58]
    #4380934 - 07/07/05 08:04 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

I don't know if it is a form of "emotional sensitivity" or just a strong "empathic ability" (not sure what the difference is, in these two terms either), but I am easily influenced by the emotional state, of the people around me.

Especially in times of high emotions (funerals, weddings, concerts, movies....) I am get so overcome during these times, that I cry. Not sobbing crying, just an over flow of tears. The emotions are so strong that I cant contain them and my eyes flood.

I have trouble, at times, distinguishing my emotional state from the people around me. I'm not real sure how to block out these strong, external, emotions.


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Invisiblemoog
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Re: Emotional sensitivity [Re: dorkus]
    #4381093 - 07/07/05 08:48 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Well I think emotional senstivity is a human trait. That's why everyone is going to go down this list and think, "hey that's me". Everyone is emotionally sensitive, especially as a child. It's just that most men as they get older grow a tough skin to hide their emotions so they're not exploited and hurt. Women do this too but in a different way. But... I guess what this is about is people who are very emotionally sensitive, no?


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Invisiblemoog
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Re: Emotional sensitivity [Re: niteowl]
    #4381101 - 07/07/05 08:50 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

You have to remember that empathy is not "your fault." You can try to hide your empathetic responses but it would just be unnatural, so why bother? There's a reason why empathy works the way it does, in a scientific sense. I'll make a post about it later when I have more time.


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Emotional sensitivity [Re: dorkus]
    #4383051 - 07/08/05 09:38 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

re Icelander

I really don't think this kinda emotional sensitivity is a drawback to be avoided or removed. It is only when dwelling in ones shadow aspects that it hurts
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I  was looking at the origional post. Many of the traits listed as emotionally sensitive in my view have more to do with fear and a damaged ego structure  than emotional sensitivity. I was speaking to those traits. I agree with you though that emotional sensitivity is a positive thing. :heart:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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OfflinePirate_Patrick
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Re: Emotional sensitivity [Re: Icelander]
    #4383589 - 07/08/05 01:14 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Wow those descriptions fit me perfectly, I never knew there was a term for it.


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Offlinemrsautoman
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Re: Emotional sensitivity [Re: dorkus]
    #4386159 - 07/09/05 07:47 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

dr_mandelbrot said:

Sensitive people typically exhibit all or nearly all of the above descriptors.



Okay, so what does it mean if you run about 50%? I feel like I'm an extremely empathetic person and yet none of these are true for me...

Quote:


3. Sensitive people are easily hurt or upset. An insult or unkind remark will affect them deeply.

4. ...strive to avoid conflicts. They dread arguments and other types of confrontations because the negativity affects them so much.

6. ...Many sensitive people avoid sad movies or watching the news because they cannot bear the weighty emotions that would drive to their core and stick with them afterwards.

10. Sensitive people are born that way. They were sensitive children.





My desire for conflict and the intake of sad/bad news and entertainment is actually pretty strong. Also I think I have a pretty thick skin and although I may be quick to anger if you're being an asshole, mostly I'm pretty dismissive of it if it's directed at me.

Then again I was watching 'Into the West' on TNT tonight and for a minute there I was so uncomfortable I thought I'd either have to change the channel or have a nice big hurl.

I feel as if I'm a pretty even mix between my mother (extremely empathetic, sensitive minister who cries a lot) and my dad (rough and tumble drunk Irish Canadian electrician). I always figured it was mostly genetic, but also the influence of the actions of my parents on my little delicate psyche when I was growing up.

Anyone else feel pretty evenly split on this and have a better idea of a reason for it?


--------------------

~I was born of a voice untimely,
the so-called echo of a man's ordure~


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: Emotional sensitivity [Re: mrsautoman]
    #4386175 - 07/09/05 08:14 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

there are some generalizations that just won't apply easily:

i still go to animated films even though i cry when the puppy loses its mother.

i recover from hurtful insults & upsets quickly and so seem pretty unnaffected...

after all it is a peripheral study, about symptoms more than causes


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Re: Emotional sensitivity [Re: dorkus]
    #4386193 - 07/09/05 08:29 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Yeah, I am a very sensitive person. But that last statement is untrue for myself. I think that really only applies to people that haven't accepted this about themselves. I am glad I am this way, as it is another factor in making me how I am today.


--------------------

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. ~ Albert Einstein
"Fear is the great barrier to human growth." ~ Dr. Robert Monroe



~~~*Dosis sola facit venenum*~~~

*Check my profile to listen to my music* :smile:


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