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InvisibleDark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop
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Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
Old habits
    #4352363 - 06/29/05 08:03 PM (18 years, 8 months ago)

never die......My life seems to be a cycle, one that I can never break out of. I've slipped back into hard drug usage, mainly dope, it started out with coke (as usual), but that shit gets old pretty quick for me, usually after a month or 2, but opiates are my weakness and my chief vice, especially dope. It's kind of funny, by now I can see these things happen, I know all the tricks the mind will play on you to get you to start using again, and then to use more frequently.....the desire to use is strong enough that I ignore all of this though.  :lol:

If I had a nickel for every time I swore off certain drugs I'd be one rich mofo by now. I've attempted to use in moderation, but I'm becoming dependent again, so after this weekend I'm going to try to cut down, keep it as a weekend habit, and hopefully (but doubtfully) less. There is a good chance that I'll be moving to California in the fall, so that'll take me far away from it, but I'll always love it.....and I'm sure I'll do it if I come across it.  Anyway, now that I've rambled (I'm high right now, so a simple post just turned into.....this ramble :lol: I'm just wondering what sort of complicated and unbreakable habits/relationships that have you all wrapped up, harmful or not.


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Invisiblethegatewaydrug
my burning sunwill some dayrise

Registered: 11/15/04
Posts: 6,987
Loc: wherever i may roam
Re: Old habits [Re: Dark_Star]
    #4352382 - 06/29/05 08:05 PM (18 years, 8 months ago)

hear that! i got off alcohol for about... week half maybe then fell RIGHT back into the same game, drinkin every night. its just to damn fun to not do:smirk:. addiction is a bitch


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May God have mercy upon my enemies, because i won't.

General George S. Patton
:paranoid:

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Offlinefreddurgan
Techgnostic
Male

Registered: 01/11/04
Posts: 3,648
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
Re: Old habits [Re: thegatewaydrug]
    #4352421 - 06/29/05 08:12 PM (18 years, 8 months ago)

I have an intense nail biting habit. And weed while not in school tends to infest my mind.

But MMORPGs are my biggest vice. I honestly went through withdrawl from MMOs. I wanted to play one. I thought about them. If I had one, I played it all day. If I stopped playing, I thought about it. If I was with people, I wanted to go home and play.

Terrible. MMOs are my dope.


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Ishmael
http://www.ishmael.org

Ron Paul 2008!
http://www.ronpaul2008.com/

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InvisibleDark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop
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Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
Re: Old habits [Re: freddurgan]
    #4352471 - 06/29/05 08:19 PM (18 years, 8 months ago)

Yeah dude, they actually have rehab centers and support groups for online game addictions. thegatewaydrug, I feel ya brother, I feel the same way about dope (H for those who don't know what I mean.)


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InvisibleHELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag
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Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 84,387
Loc: Afghanistan Flag
Re: Old habits [Re: Dark_Star]
    #4352481 - 06/29/05 08:21 PM (18 years, 8 months ago)

I've been smoking mad crack.


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InvisiblePaulAtreides
Paw Paw DBK ...

Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 1,378
Re: Old habits [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #4352483 - 06/29/05 08:22 PM (18 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

HELLA_TIGHT said:
I've been smoking big crack.




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WDYWFM?
I just want full access damnit
Rono he hate me...
I'm going to be reading every post that you make...and anything that even remotely offends me is going to get your ass banned. How you like 'dem apples asshole?






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InvisibleHELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag
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Registered: 08/19/03
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Re: Old habits [Re: PaulAtreides]
    #4352492 - 06/29/05 08:24 PM (18 years, 8 months ago)

*big cack


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Invisiblethegatewaydrug
my burning sunwill some dayrise

Registered: 11/15/04
Posts: 6,987
Loc: wherever i may roam
Re: Old habits [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #4352497 - 06/29/05 08:25 PM (18 years, 8 months ago)

*big cock


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May God have mercy upon my enemies, because i won't.

General George S. Patton
:paranoid:

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InvisibleHELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag
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Registered: 08/19/03
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Loc: Afghanistan Flag
Re: Old habits [Re: thegatewaydrug]
    #4352503 - 06/29/05 08:26 PM (18 years, 8 months ago)

cack sounds better.


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InvisibleTHE KRAT BARON
one-eyed willie
Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 42,409
Re: Old habits [Re: Dark_Star]
    #4352542 - 06/29/05 08:35 PM (18 years, 8 months ago)

Hey bro maybe you could lean yourself down with hydro's or somthing weaker? Is that a possibilitaty at all?? I hate to see good people go down that road. :frown:


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m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.

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InvisibleTYL3R
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 11/19/04
Posts: 17,493
Re: Old habits [Re: Dark_Star]
    #4352616 - 06/29/05 08:50 PM (18 years, 8 months ago)

What do you mean by Dope ?

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InvisibleHELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag
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Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 84,387
Loc: Afghanistan Flag
Re: Old habits [Re: THE KRAT BARON]
    #4352675 - 06/29/05 08:58 PM (18 years, 8 months ago)

I wish I had some dope.


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InvisibleTHE KRAT BARON
one-eyed willie
Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 42,409
Re: Old habits [Re: TYL3R]
    #4352726 - 06/29/05 09:06 PM (18 years, 8 months ago)

If I'm not mistaken I think he's talking about H.


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m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.

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OfflineToTheSummit
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Re: Old habits [Re: Dark_Star]
    #4352735 - 06/29/05 09:08 PM (18 years, 8 months ago)

Heres a poem I wrote about recurring addictions. It kinda personifies the addiction.

Will I Ever Really Learn?

That little voice, it calls me back again
To those times that I regret yet somehow can't forget
"Remember all the good times, not the pain!"
That little voice is smart, it can sense my broken heart.

"Come with me, I will take you for a ride
"No responsibility if you come along with me
"Don't face your problems, come to me and hide
Hide within my powerful arms, I'll entrance you with my charms."

And though a part of me is wracked with guilt
I take that cold embrace, look into that lifeless face
And soon there is a wall around me built
To keep out that world of sin, or...is it to keep me in?!

And with that thought I'm struck with awful fear
As I look into those eyes, and I sudden realize
That for me there is no easy way from here
I am subject to my host when I need my freedom most.

But I refuse to quit that easily
As I tear that wall apart and begin to mend my heart
I cry aloud "You will not conquer me!
"I am stronger, far, than you. Our relationship is through!"

And though that icy grip held fast to me
The battle was not long, my enemy was not that strong
Without much time to gain a grip on me
He couldn't hold on tight, It was not much of a fight.

So I sent him back again from whence he came
Though a fool I am not, for I know that he does plot
To come back and whisper in my ear again
When life knocks me about and I'm feeling down-and-out.

So next time I hear that voice so soft and sweet
I pray I will be wise and not look into his eyes
But turn instead, and swiftly take retreat
To be that strong I yearn, but will I ever really learn?


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You invented the wheel....You push the motherfucker!!

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InvisibleRavus
Not an EggshellWalker
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Registered: 07/18/03
Posts: 7,991
Loc: Cave of the Patriarchs
Re: Old habits [Re: Dark_Star]
    #4352827 - 06/29/05 09:22 PM (18 years, 8 months ago)

Sorry to hear that Mr. Star. From some of your posts you sound like you've had a nagging problem with heroin, and I hope you can break it when you need to.


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So long as you are praised think only that you are not yet on your own path but on that of another.

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Invisibletheoldtimer
old enough toknow better

Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 31
Loc: Hell and back
Re: Old habits [Re: Ravus]
    #4354107 - 06/30/05 02:19 AM (18 years, 8 months ago)

I just say no to crack....then I pull my pants up


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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits." A.E.




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InvisibleDickhead
2 Times
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Registered: 01/24/05
Posts: 28,769
Loc: groin
Re: Old habits [Re: theoldtimer]
    #4354249 - 06/30/05 03:00 AM (18 years, 8 months ago)

I hope you can get a handle on yer impuses Dark Star....

I got many a friend chasing lady H around that fucked up highway. Few make it out of that unharmed.

I'm no better... Im a gambling addict.

I dont ever care about money... Its the rush. I spend hundreds... I'd spend Thousands if I had em.

Addictions are fucked like that... IT's there illusiveness.. absurdity that keeps us intrigued.


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Multiplied

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InvisibleDark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop
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Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
Re: Old habits [Re: ToTheSummit]
    #4372759 - 07/05/05 04:06 PM (18 years, 8 months ago)

Ha, truest words I've ever read. I'm chilling out for a little bit...detoxing myself then trying to use in moderation, heh, that's what I was supposed to do this time.  :lol:......shit happens, drugs are way too much fun.


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OfflineNoviseer
Percussion isFree
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Registered: 03/18/03
Posts: 3,994
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
Re: Old habits [Re: Dark_Star]
    #4372912 - 07/05/05 04:50 PM (18 years, 8 months ago)

Really sorry to hear that.  You sound like a good guy and I hate to hear you talk about junk and its hold on you. 

I really think you oughta read this book  Its Easier Than you Think - The Buddhist Way to Happiness

I checked it out from the library on a lark--it was the day after a mushroom trip and I was in a very airy spiritual mood.  I'm not one to read self-help or religions books normally, but this one just floored me with its simplicity and elegance.

The lessons I've learned in this book have really helped me moderate my drug use.  Pay close attention to the relationship betwene pleasure and happiness... they are often confused, but not at all the same thing.  Pleasure necesarily comes and goes.  Happiness, on the other hand, can be retained, and proves ultimately to be a much more worthy and rewarding goal than physical and mental pleasure.

Its worth a shot  :sun:


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_______________________________________________________________
namaste said:
no flamz in da ODD, if you got nothing to contribute then keep yo lips zipped
_________________________________________________________________

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Invisiblevinsue
Grand Old Fart
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Registered: 02/17/04
Posts: 17,953
Loc: The Garden State(NJ) Flag
Re: Old habits [Re: ToTheSummit]
    #4372947 - 07/05/05 04:58 PM (18 years, 8 months ago)

Nice...ToTheSummit ..Well said !! :thumbup:...Addictions are a curious thing... :confused:


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"All mushrooms are edible; but some only once." Croatian proverb. BTW ...
  Have You Rated Ythans Mom Yet ?? ... :taser:  ... HERE'S HOW ... (be nice) .  :mod: ... :peace:

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