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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Old habits
#4352363 - 06/29/05 08:03 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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never die......My life seems to be a cycle, one that I can never break out of. I've slipped back into hard drug usage, mainly dope, it started out with coke (as usual), but that shit gets old pretty quick for me, usually after a month or 2, but opiates are my weakness and my chief vice, especially dope. It's kind of funny, by now I can see these things happen, I know all the tricks the mind will play on you to get you to start using again, and then to use more frequently.....the desire to use is strong enough that I ignore all of this though.
If I had a nickel for every time I swore off certain drugs I'd be one rich mofo by now. I've attempted to use in moderation, but I'm becoming dependent again, so after this weekend I'm going to try to cut down, keep it as a weekend habit, and hopefully (but doubtfully) less. There is a good chance that I'll be moving to California in the fall, so that'll take me far away from it, but I'll always love it.....and I'm sure I'll do it if I come across it. Anyway, now that I've rambled (I'm high right now, so a simple post just turned into.....this ramble I'm just wondering what sort of complicated and unbreakable habits/relationships that have you all wrapped up, harmful or not.
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thegatewaydrug
my burning sunwill some dayrise
Registered: 11/15/04
Posts: 6,987
Loc: wherever i may roam
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hear that! i got off alcohol for about... week half maybe then fell RIGHT back into the same game, drinkin every night. its just to damn fun to not do. addiction is a bitch
-------------------- May God have mercy upon my enemies, because i won't. General George S. Patton
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freddurgan
Techgnostic
Registered: 01/11/04
Posts: 3,648
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
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I have an intense nail biting habit. And weed while not in school tends to infest my mind.
But MMORPGs are my biggest vice. I honestly went through withdrawl from MMOs. I wanted to play one. I thought about them. If I had one, I played it all day. If I stopped playing, I thought about it. If I was with people, I wanted to go home and play.
Terrible. MMOs are my dope.
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Yeah dude, they actually have rehab centers and support groups for online game addictions. thegatewaydrug, I feel ya brother, I feel the same way about dope (H for those who don't know what I mean.)
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HELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag
Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 84,387
Loc: Afghanistan
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I've been smoking mad crack.
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PaulAtreides
Paw Paw DBK ...
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 1,378
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Quote:
HELLA_TIGHT said: I've been smoking big crack.
-------------------- WDYWFM? I just want full access damnit Rono he hate me... I'm going to be reading every post that you make...and anything that even remotely offends me is going to get your ass banned. How you like 'dem apples asshole?
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HELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag
Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 84,387
Loc: Afghanistan
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*big cack
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thegatewaydrug
my burning sunwill some dayrise
Registered: 11/15/04
Posts: 6,987
Loc: wherever i may roam
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*big cock
-------------------- May God have mercy upon my enemies, because i won't. General George S. Patton
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HELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag
Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 84,387
Loc: Afghanistan
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cack sounds better.
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THE KRAT BARON
one-eyed willie
Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 42,409
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Hey bro maybe you could lean yourself down with hydro's or somthing weaker? Is that a possibilitaty at all?? I hate to see good people go down that road.
-------------------- m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.
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TYL3R
Registered: 11/19/04
Posts: 17,493
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What do you mean by Dope ?
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HELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag
Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 84,387
Loc: Afghanistan
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I wish I had some dope.
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THE KRAT BARON
one-eyed willie
Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 42,409
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Re: Old habits [Re: TYL3R]
#4352726 - 06/29/05 09:06 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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If I'm not mistaken I think he's talking about H.
-------------------- m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.
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ToTheSummit
peregrinus
Registered: 08/22/99
Posts: 9,126
Loc: Las Vegas
Last seen: 1 month, 22 days
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Heres a poem I wrote about recurring addictions. It kinda personifies the addiction.
Will I Ever Really Learn?
That little voice, it calls me back again To those times that I regret yet somehow can't forget "Remember all the good times, not the pain!" That little voice is smart, it can sense my broken heart.
"Come with me, I will take you for a ride "No responsibility if you come along with me "Don't face your problems, come to me and hide Hide within my powerful arms, I'll entrance you with my charms."
And though a part of me is wracked with guilt I take that cold embrace, look into that lifeless face And soon there is a wall around me built To keep out that world of sin, or...is it to keep me in?!
And with that thought I'm struck with awful fear As I look into those eyes, and I sudden realize That for me there is no easy way from here I am subject to my host when I need my freedom most.
But I refuse to quit that easily As I tear that wall apart and begin to mend my heart I cry aloud "You will not conquer me! "I am stronger, far, than you. Our relationship is through!"
And though that icy grip held fast to me The battle was not long, my enemy was not that strong Without much time to gain a grip on me He couldn't hold on tight, It was not much of a fight.
So I sent him back again from whence he came Though a fool I am not, for I know that he does plot To come back and whisper in my ear again When life knocks me about and I'm feeling down-and-out.
So next time I hear that voice so soft and sweet I pray I will be wise and not look into his eyes But turn instead, and swiftly take retreat To be that strong I yearn, but will I ever really learn?
-------------------- You invented the wheel....You push the motherfucker!!
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Ravus
Not an EggshellWalker
Registered: 07/18/03
Posts: 7,991
Loc: Cave of the Patriarchs
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Sorry to hear that Mr. Star. From some of your posts you sound like you've had a nagging problem with heroin, and I hope you can break it when you need to.
-------------------- So long as you are praised think only that you are not yet on your own path but on that of another.
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theoldtimer
old enough toknow better
Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 31
Loc: Hell and back
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Re: Old habits [Re: Ravus]
#4354107 - 06/30/05 02:19 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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I just say no to crack....then I pull my pants up
-------------------- "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits." A.E.
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Dickhead
2 Times
Registered: 01/24/05
Posts: 28,769
Loc: groin
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I hope you can get a handle on yer impuses Dark Star....
I got many a friend chasing lady H around that fucked up highway. Few make it out of that unharmed.
I'm no better... Im a gambling addict.
I dont ever care about money... Its the rush. I spend hundreds... I'd spend Thousands if I had em.
Addictions are fucked like that... IT's there illusiveness.. absurdity that keeps us intrigued.
-------------------- Multiplied
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Ha, truest words I've ever read. I'm chilling out for a little bit...detoxing myself then trying to use in moderation, heh, that's what I was supposed to do this time. ......shit happens, drugs are way too much fun.
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Noviseer
Percussion isFree
Registered: 03/18/03
Posts: 3,994
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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Really sorry to hear that. You sound like a good guy and I hate to hear you talk about junk and its hold on you.
I really think you oughta read this book Its Easier Than you Think - The Buddhist Way to Happiness
I checked it out from the library on a lark--it was the day after a mushroom trip and I was in a very airy spiritual mood. I'm not one to read self-help or religions books normally, but this one just floored me with its simplicity and elegance.
The lessons I've learned in this book have really helped me moderate my drug use. Pay close attention to the relationship betwene pleasure and happiness... they are often confused, but not at all the same thing. Pleasure necesarily comes and goes. Happiness, on the other hand, can be retained, and proves ultimately to be a much more worthy and rewarding goal than physical and mental pleasure.
Its worth a shot
-------------------- _______________________________________________________________ namaste said: no flamz in da ODD, if you got nothing to contribute then keep yo lips zipped _________________________________________________________________
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vinsue
Grand Old Fart
Registered: 02/17/04
Posts: 17,953
Loc: The Garden State(NJ)
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Nice...ToTheSummit ..Well said !! ...Addictions are a curious thing...
-------------------- "All mushrooms are edible; but some only once." Croatian proverb. BTW ... Have You Rated Ythans Mom Yet ?? ... ... HERE'S HOW ... (be nice) . ...
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