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OfflineTwirling
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How much do you rely on other people's opinion of you?
    #4305013 - 06/16/05 08:39 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Obviously, the first reaction to this is "You should just be yourself and fuck what other people think!", which is perfectly true. However we still act on that social muscle to present ourselves in an acceptable social context so that others will like/accept/respect us. I'll give you an example:

I would love to wear clothes that mock ideas of gender roles. I'm not talking about wearing a dress here, but something like this (in a different color in than pink). It's not so much the feminie style of the shirt which I'd want to wear, but a shirt with guinea pigs is rather "cutsy". The college I go to has very unwritten standardized ways of dressing, and many people conform to gender role type of expectations. I think my satirical sense of humour would be lost on people trying to figure out if I'm gay or not (which I'm not, for the record).


Same thing as talking about drugs with people. Some people are completely close-minded about it. Other people, even people who use drugs themselves, often pigeonhole people as "druggie-freaks" for even talking about drugs from a philsophical point of view. I enjoy talking about drugs more than I enjoy doing them (somewhat), but that's because I enjoy talking about the self-exploration aspect of it, the introspective awareness, and so on. This is obviously a topic which I hold back on unless a person really understands where I'm coming from.


But despite this, I for the most part, have little trouble expressing my point of view. I'm not afraid to express something which is out of the ordinary, even if it is uncomfortable to be "stared at like a dog that's been shown a card trick".

So here?s what I?m getting at. Where do you draw the line on truly not caring what others think? No matter who you are, there is always going to be some boundary, but where do you draw the line?


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The very nature of experience is ineffable; it transcends cognitive thought and intellectualized analysis. To be without experience is to be without an emotional knowledge of what the experience translates into. The desire for the understanding of what life is made of is the motivation that drives us all. Without it, in fear of the experiences what life can hold is among the greatest contradictions; to live in fear of death while not being alive.



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Offlinebarfightlard
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Re: How much do you rely on other people's opinion of you? [Re: Twirling]
    #4305049 - 06/16/05 08:51 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

My biggest problem is worrying about what others think.  But, I still push the envalope sometimes and talk about things that most wouldn't want too.  Even though these things bother me, when I get the chance I still talk to others about them.


btw good post :thumbup:


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"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks


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Invisiblemantis
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Re: How much do you rely on other people's opinion of you? [Re: Twirling]
    #4305058 - 06/16/05 08:53 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

I consider other people's opinions and they influence me sometimes, but I don't let anyone's opinion dictate my decisions. I don't care what just anyone thinks, it has to be someone I respect and am friends with.


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Invisiblevinsue
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Re: How much do you rely on other people's opinion of you? [Re: Twirling]
    #4305138 - 06/16/05 09:14 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)



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"All mushrooms are edible; but some only once." Croatian proverb. BTW ...
  Have You Rated Ythans Mom Yet ?? ... :taser:  ... HERE'S HOW ... (be nice) .  :mod: ... :peace:


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InvisiblePaulAtreides
Paw Paw DBK ...

Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 1,378
Re: How much do you rely on other people's opinion of you? [Re: Twirling]
    #4305252 - 06/16/05 09:38 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Good post...I care a lot about other peoples opinion of me. My recent actions have shown me i needed to re-access where i was at mentally
Ive found that the Shroomery is way better than throwing good money away on some head shrinker.
Im never gonna stop seeing my head shrinker because shes kinda hot
Shes a really smart asian also  :tongue: but thats another story :smirk:
No seriously this place can really help you when youre being a fuck up if you can absorb the feedback properly
:faded: :jester:


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WDYWFM?
I just want full access damnit
Rono he hate me...
I'm going to be reading every post that you make...and anything that even remotely offends me is going to get your ass banned. How you like 'dem apples asshole?







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OfflineDeadPhan
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Re: How much do you rely on other people's opinion of you? [Re: PaulAtreides]
    #4305283 - 06/16/05 09:44 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

at times too much, at times too little. workin on it though im sure a medium would be healthy. at least worth tryin. i like to think of everyone as my teacher. however, that can be unhealthy when taken too literally and such. hehe this question is big for me. definitly a good question as something i deal with every day. i guess im goin off topic and not realy talkin about peoples opinion but my experiences with them as a whole, being as i realy dont know for sure their opinion. whereas i always get a vibe. anyhoo....


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Big Gulps!  Alright!  Well,  See ya later!
And if i claim to be a wise man, well, it surely means that i dont know!


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OfflineTwirling
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Re: How much do you rely on other people's opinion of you? [Re: barfightlard]
    #4305305 - 06/16/05 09:49 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

bellylard said:
My biggest problem is worrying about what others think.  But, I still push the envalope sometimes and talk about things that most wouldn't want too.  Even though these things bother me, when I get the chance I still talk to others about them.


btw good post :thumbup:




Thanks!

I think it's one of my biggest problems as well, but more that I have, at times, social anxiety which prevents me from simply "being myself". This isn't always the case, as I can be very social at times, but it does interfer.

Quote:

mantis said:
I consider other people's opinions and they influence me sometimes, but I don't let anyone's opinion dictate my decisions. I don't care what just anyone thinks, it has to be someone I respect and am friends with.




Very good balance, and I think a healthy one as well.

Quote:

PaulAtreides said:
No seriously this place can really help you when youre being a fuck up if you can absorb the feedback properly




I find it can be as well! There are times when people are intentionally trying to start an argument, and that can be very misleading in trying to really take what people have to say constructively. Sometimes I find myself checking my ratings often as well, but that can also be great feedback.

I work with an amazing psychatrist who I consider to be one of the smartest people I've met. I've worked with a lot of psychologists/psychatrists, and can honestly say there is a huge difference in the quality.


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InvisiblePaulAtreides
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Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 1,378
Re: How much do you rely on other people's opinion of you? [Re: Twirling]
    #4305334 - 06/16/05 09:55 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Believe me you can guage your fucked-up-ness from your recent ratings

Cause somewhere out there
Waitin' on a wonder
You'll lend wings to my words
Somewhere when the band is gone
And the music of my song
Is just right for lovers.
You always fill my heart with wonder
You always fill my soul with love
You always fill my lips with kisses
You always fill my eyes with tears.


--------------------

WDYWFM?
I just want full access damnit
Rono he hate me...
I'm going to be reading every post that you make...and anything that even remotely offends me is going to get your ass banned. How you like 'dem apples asshole?







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Offlinebarfightlard
tales of theinexpressible
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Re: How much do you rely on other people's opinion of you? [Re: Twirling]
    #4305345 - 06/16/05 09:58 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

"social anxiety simply prevents me from being myself" I an the EXACT same way, I haven't been able to get over it yet.


--------------------

"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks


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InvisibleSkunk420
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Re: How much do you rely on other people's opinion of you? [Re: Twirling]
    #4305358 - 06/16/05 10:00 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

I don't care what people think of me now.....I did when I was younger...a little bit more..then nowdays... why worry about what anyone thinks of you?  just be yourself..there will always be people that don't accept you for who you are....but at the same time... your 'real' friends will accept you no matter what... :sun:


Edited by skunk78395 (06/16/05 10:02 PM)


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Invisiblemantis
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Re: How much do you rely on other people's opinion of you? [Re: barfightlard]
    #4305364 - 06/16/05 10:01 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

I used to get pretty anxious in social situations. Surprisingly, getting a job where I'm constantly dealing with customers has helped me out. My anxiety has completely disappeared after getting over the initial discomfort of being around people all the time. I was always fine around friends but I'd get uneasy around new people... now I feel at ease no matter where I am.

I guess I didn't have a very serious case to begin with :shrug:


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InvisibleSkunk420
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Re: How much do you rely on other people's opinion of you? [Re: mantis]
    #4305421 - 06/16/05 10:11 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

having jobs like that helped me out a lot too in situations like that as well..I work with the public all the time..that is why I am more 'passive' then I used to be...


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Invisiblemantis
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Re: How much do you rely on other people's opinion of you? [Re: Skunk420]
    #4305445 - 06/16/05 10:16 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Not me, I'm much more assertive than I was before.

enough w/ the fucking 'quotes', skunk :lol:


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InvisibleSkunk420
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Re: How much do you rely on other people's opinion of you? [Re: mantis]
    #4305468 - 06/16/05 10:21 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

oh sorry i was not trying to troll you, I will stop it already, (and the quotes..as well) I am passive towards rude people, but i am more agressive about starting conversations up with strangers and getting to know them...I used to take a lot negative things people say 'literally'...


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Invisiblemantis
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Re: How much do you rely on other people's opinion of you? [Re: Skunk420]
    #4305485 - 06/16/05 10:23 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Dude, I wasn't acusing you of trolling or anything like that. I was just pointing out that dealing w/ people has made me more assertive-- as opposed to passive. I'm also just giving you a hard time about the quotes... it's just annoying when you "quote" something that is very straight-forward.

example:

he said, "Hello". (YES! used for quotation)
I have my own "herbal remedy" for a headache (YES! used as a humorous ruse)
I went to the "store" for some tea (NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!)


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OfflineTwirling
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Re: How much do you rely on other people's opinion of you? [Re: mantis]
    #4305534 - 06/16/05 10:33 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

mantis said:
I used to get pretty anxious in social situations. Surprisingly, getting a job where I'm constantly dealing with customers has helped me out. My anxiety has completely disappeared after getting over the initial discomfort of being around people all the time.





My first two jobs were as a cashier and a deli clerk. Let me tell you, those jobs only increased my social anxiety. You get a pretty bad image of people when they treat you like shit.  :smirk: It always amazes me how people can forget that the people slicing their meat is human.

My more recent job, working with high school students "with special needs" (how should I say this? "short bus"), training them with job skills, has really helped me meet some really awesome people. I think also working with a population which often gets ignored, and who's personalities get misunderstood, has helped me get over a lot of that social anxiety.


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InvisibleSkunk420
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Re: How much do you rely on other people's opinion of you? [Re: mantis]
    #4305614 - 06/16/05 10:54 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

oh it is all good...I do quote that way a lot..it is annoying I am sure, I post whore a lot too..I need to slow it down sometimes..it is all good.. :tongue2: :sun:


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Offlinejsb
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Re: How much do you rely on other people's opinion of you? [Re: Skunk420]
    #4305634 - 06/16/05 11:00 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

i forget who to credit for the quote, "90% of everything in life is bullshit, but the other 10% is worth dieing for." easier said than lived, but if you can truly learn to let the things that truly don't matter just pass, then you can realize a freedom that most of us only imagine.


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Invisiblemantis
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Re: How much do you rely on other people's opinion of you? *DELETED* [Re: Twirling]
    #4305688 - 06/16/05 11:16 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Post deleted by mantis

Reason for deletion: ...



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InvisibleBurke Dennings

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Re: How much do you rely on other people's opinion of you? [Re: mantis]
    #4305715 - 06/16/05 11:24 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Hey man, cheese is fucking important.


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This will not go undocumented.


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