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InvisibleEmbracingShadows
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Registered: 05/23/05
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My Bi-polarismishness
    #4300228 - 06/15/05 06:09 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Yup i have Bi-polar disorder and it really sucks somtimes i forgot to take my meds for weeks and fall into a horrible state of mind and am constantly having mood swings stuff sets them off though its not like IM HAPPY sdbfgsdf im sad...  like if sumthin small that happens that upesets me depending on what it is ill get exrtremly angry and either snap or find myself pacing or almost mouthing the words goin through my brain, its weird. or if im extremly sad ill be like really depressed and if sumthin good happens then im like really happy. i have a bad anger problem to but ive come to find that im able to contol it with the closer i get to adult hood. I love to smoke weed but when im down it really sucks and i have anxiety attacks. so i only do it when im in a good mood. my mind is like yin and yang in alot of ways. within the  chaos there is always order and within the order there is always chaos. theres good within the bad and bad within the good. If you have Bi-polar disorder tell me how it affects you and what medications you take if you do have it. and how it is for you. :headbanger:


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Offlinethe_phoenix
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Re: My Bi-polarismishness [Re: EmbracingShadows]
    #4300565 - 06/15/05 07:16 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

I'm not bi-polar. I do recognize my ego and my higher self almost as two distinct individuals, but more accurately as two opposite ends of a spectrum that constitutes the entirety of my being. I am this entire spectrum, from the individual ego to the universal Ineffable, and during social interaction I portray the appropriate facet of myself while remaining mindful that it is only a facet. So it's not like I have to change myself depending on the context of my situation, because the change is a conscious decision and I'm still aware of all of who I am, but I'm simply choosing to express a more restricted element of it.

So it's like the Yin/Yang teaches, ultimately duality is illusion. But to cling to unity is unhealthy, and ultimately represses part of you that will surface/manifest as your other polar self. Because we are physical beings and must embrace the perspective that regards the Ineffable through duality as the Yin/Yang, we must embrace the chaos of constant interplay between Yin/Yang, i.e. the different facets of ourselves we display to the people around us. To ourselves we must be honest and recognize the unity of things, with enough faith to loosen the hold of this unity enough to portray fragments of it.

When people deny one pole of themselves then the point is entirely missed. When they accept all poles, all opposites, then they are understood as merely positions along a spectrum, and it's this spectrum of self that constitutes one's entire being.

I don't think bi-polar disorder exists except in people's misunderstandings. I don't think you're bi-polar. :tripping:


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InvisibleEmbracingShadows
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Re: My Bi-polarismishness [Re: the_phoenix]
    #4301319 - 06/15/05 10:51 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

the_phoenix said:
I don't think bi-polar disorder exists except in people's misunderstandings. I don't think you're bi-polar. :tripping:




I totally agree with that dude its not the way they are so they dont understand it so they label me as having a "disorder" and give me a medication to make me feel "normal" at least what is normal in their eyes. for a good example i "have" ODD opositional defiance disorder and its not even a disorder i choose to rebel and be that way its all a matter of choice and for some reason they dont understand so they label it as a disorder i could easily do as they please but i CHOOSE not to so since when has freedom of choice and the choices you choose a disorder?


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OfflineNosferatuMan
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Re: My Bi-polarismishness [Re: EmbracingShadows]
    #4301608 - 06/16/05 12:09 AM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

EmbracingShadows said:
Quote:

the_phoenix said:
I don't think bi-polar disorder exists except in people's misunderstandings. I don't think you're bi-polar. :tripping:




I totally agree with that dude its not the way they are so they dont understand it so they label me as having a "disorder" and give me a medication to make me feel "normal" at least what is normal in their eyes.




Yeah, totally, so what if I lose tough with reality completely and try to set myself on fire during a manic episode. It's "normal" to me!

I swear, you people give the most tired, abominable replys I've ever seen. Especially here.

A note to the ignorant: stay away from this forum.


Edited by NosferatuMan (06/16/05 12:31 AM)


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Offlinethe_phoenix
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Re: My Bi-polarismishness [Re: NosferatuMan]
    #4303155 - 06/16/05 12:27 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

That advice I gave was also to myself, I realize now. :smile: Lately I've been acting, on an outward physical level, dualistically. Either I realize my true self and manifest it properly, or I act egocentrically. So if I looked at the outward way I act, it would seem I am bi-polar.

But on the inside, when I give in to desire and act egocentrically, I'm thinking consciously to myself about what I'm doing, I realize I'm doing it, and I'm purposely giving into my desires to learn the lessons of disharmony. So on the inside, it is hardly such a clear-cut dualistic issue.

I don't act one way part of the time and another way the other part, but rather I'm always conscious of how I outwardly act. If I only judged myself by how I outwardly come off to be, and I almost trapped myself here, then I would seem like two different people, but the real me behind both of them knows that isn't true.

It's like, for example, there is inner and outer happiness. Seems like a moot issue but let's look closer. I can be smiling, and this shows people I'm happy, but it's just how I choose to display my inner self. Then there is inner happiness where I'm content on the inside and it doesn't necessarily show on the outside. This just goes to show that there is more than one way of looking at things, that outward appearances hardly tell the whole picture and can be misleading if they're the only thing acknowleged.


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
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Re: My Bi-polarismishness [Re: EmbracingShadows]
    #4303249 - 06/16/05 12:52 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

You sound like many people I know. Fuck I have all those feelings you describe.

I don't know if there is such a thing as bi-polor or not, but from your discription of your "symptoms" just about everyone has it. :mushroom2: :grin:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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OfflineNosferatuMan
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Re: My Bi-polarismishness [Re: Icelander]
    #4304855 - 06/16/05 07:53 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

No. People are not monochromatic, that doesn't mean they're bipolar... Bipolar people have cycles involving episodes of mania, depression, or a mix of the two. It's a biological brain disease, it is very real, and I don't think you guys really know what you're talking about. Sorry, but you should read up on stuff before entangling personal beliefs within the spectrum of science.


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: My Bi-polarismishness [Re: NosferatuMan]
    #4307289 - 06/17/05 01:00 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Yeah, totally, so what if I lose tough with reality completely and try to set myself on fire during a manic episode. It's "normal" to me!
___________________________________________________________________

well, your discription of bi-polar and his seem very different to me.

Are you qualified to make that diagnosis, from his discription?


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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Offlinethe_phoenix
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Re: My Bi-polarismishness [Re: Icelander]
    #4307324 - 06/17/05 01:21 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Maybe I should have spoken more in the sense that bi-polarism does exist, in people's minds. It's self-created, so saying that it doesn't exist is true if the person believes it to be true, and I felt EmbracingShadows can believe it, can believe in himself. If the guy was threatening suicide, perhaps I would have posted more cautionary and reserved advice. But he was putting forth intelligent reasonings based on the Yin/Yang, so he was coming from a place that fundamentally is not bi-polar (as opposed to those who believe down to their core they are bi-polar).


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: My Bi-polarismishness [Re: the_phoenix]
    #4307469 - 06/17/05 02:30 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

That's what I was thinking.  :thumbup:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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OfflineNosferatuMan
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Re: My Bi-polarismishness [Re: Icelander]
    #4307741 - 06/17/05 03:53 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Icelander said:
Yeah, totally, so what if I lose tough with reality completely and try to set myself on fire during a manic episode. It's "normal" to me!
___________________________________________________________________

well, your discription of bi-polar and his seem very different to me.

Are you qualified to make that diagnosis, from his discription?




I am not claiming to make an accurate diagnosis of ANYONE; because I am in fact not qualified by any means to do so. Can you tell the difference between me trying to show that this is an actual disease and me claiming that someone has it? And who's description are you referring to? the_phoenix's?

Quote:

But he was putting forth intelligent reasonings based on the Yin/Yang, so he was coming from a place that fundamentally is not bi-polar (as opposed to those who believe down to their core they are bi-polar).




Right, and what makes you think you're qualified to correct EmbrachingShadow's idea of himself? I just don't get where this "Yin/Yang" thing comes from either, except for maybe you and you alone.


Edited by NosferatuMan (06/17/05 04:08 PM)


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: My Bi-polarismishness [Re: NosferatuMan]
    #4308055 - 06/17/05 05:15 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

I was referring to the posters description of his symptoms.

I was dealing with him and not weather Bi-polar exists or not. As I said in my first post, I don't know about that.

So I never had an argument with weather Bi-polar exists. You jumped in an started ranting. I assumed you were referring to the poster and declaring that he is bi-polar. And from his description I wasn't very sure he was abnormal. Lots of fucking shrinks and docs love to label people as sick so they can make a fast buck.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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OfflineNosferatuMan
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Re: My Bi-polarismishness [Re: Icelander]
    #4308488 - 06/17/05 08:03 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

I don't know if he is. Neither do any of you. You'll just have to take his word for it if you want to give advice, which apparently none of us have.


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: My Bi-polarismishness [Re: NosferatuMan]
    #4308637 - 06/17/05 08:46 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

EmbracingShadows seems uncertain weather he is or not. So he can decide for himself. I commented on his discription. If that wasn't accurate, I cannot know that.

Maybe I shouldn't post because I don't have "bi-polar" disorder. But too late now and he can disregard it if he wants.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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OfflineNosferatuMan
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Re: My Bi-polarismishness [Re: Icelander]
    #4308704 - 06/17/05 09:03 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Icelander said:
EmbracingShadows seems uncertain weather he is or not.





Quote:

EmbracingShadows said:
Yup i have Bi-polar disorder and it really sucks somtimes i forgot to take my meds for weeks




You're right, him and his doctor seem to be very indecisive on the matter... :rolleyes:


Edited by NosferatuMan (06/17/05 09:04 PM)


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: My Bi-polarismishness [Re: NosferatuMan]
    #4308818 - 06/17/05 09:35 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

I totally agree with that dude its not the way they are so they dont understand it so they label me as having a "disorder" and give me a medication to make me feel "normal" at least what is normal in their eyes.
___________________________________________________________

He seems to disagree here. Read it all.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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OfflineNosferatuMan
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Re: My Bi-polarismishness [Re: Icelander]
    #4309202 - 06/17/05 11:20 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

I did.

It sounded like he resented people and doctors using words with negative conations like "disorder" to describe his behaviour; it never occured to me that maybe he had changed his view of himself purely on a whim, but hey maybe that's the case.


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: My Bi-polarismishness [Re: NosferatuMan]
    #4309752 - 06/18/05 01:48 AM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Hard to say of course. Maybe he can tell us. Just like anyone else there are good and not good doctors out there. I he could get just as bad advice from a lousy doc as from me. :grin:

It might be worth while to ask around like he's doing here and also maybe get a second opinion from another specialist.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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InvisibleEmbracingShadows
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Re: My Bi-polarismishness [Re: Icelander]
    #4391228 - 07/11/05 02:08 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

HAHAHA i didnt know any of this was going on i got carried away with my other posts but ya i really dont know if im bi-polar i like to think i am somtimes to give meaning to where my feelings come from somtimes but its usually triggerd by sumthin else so i really dont know. i like to think i am i like to think im not but deep down inside i think im not i think its they try to explain all my beahaviors and feelings with "disorders"


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Offlinemrsautoman
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Re: My Bi-polarismishness [Re: EmbracingShadows]
    #4391602 - 07/11/05 08:05 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Okay, so I went to look up bipolar disorder before I posted to make sure I didn't make myself look like an idiot. I found this, which seemed to reinforce my idea that bipolar disorder was a chemical imbalance in the brain, not just a lack of emotional discipline.

http://www.bipolar.com/helping/understanding-bipolar-disorder.htm
Bipolar disorder stems from a chemical imbalance in the brain that affects the way we experience our moods. It can be hereditary and is often triggered by overwhelming life experiences. Why mood disorders happen to some people and not others is unknown. All that is known is that the chemicals in the brain, called neurotransmitters, sometimes do not communicate correctly. This miscommunication creates an imbalance of chemicals, which can seriously impact mood.

But then I kept reading and found this:
Unfortunately no laboratory test can detect bipolar disorder. However, a simple questionnaire can help a doctor determine if someone has bipolar disorder. This questionnaire is called the Mood Disorder Questionnaire, or MDQ. The MDQ is a checklist that helps a doctor identify bipolar-related symptoms. Remember, only a doctor can provide an accurate diagnosis.

Okay, so if it's truly a chemical imbalance in the brain, how come they can't test for it chemically? And if they can't test for it chemically, how the hell do they know that's what causes it in the first place?

I'm hoping someone here will have answers for me, cause now I am totally confused and don't know what to think.

And check out this questionnaire...

Has there ever been a period of time when you were not your usual self and...

...you felt so good or so hyper that other people thought you were not your normal self or you were so hyper that you got into trouble?

I was on cocaine.

...you were so irritable that you shouted at people or started fights or arguments?

I was on estrogen.

...you felt much more self-confident than usual?

I was on MDMA.

...you got much less sleep than usual and found you didn't really miss it?

I was on espresso.

...you were much more talkative or spoke much faster than usual?

There's cocaine again, and prolly a little MDMA, too.

...thoughts raced through your head or you couldn't slow your mind down?


That happens all the time.

...you were so easily distracted by things around you that you had trouble concentrating or staying on track?

I was stoned.

...you were much more interested in sex than usual?

There's MDMA again. Oh, and probably estrogen, too.

...you did things that were unusual for you or that other people might have thought were excessive, foolish, or risky?

There's drunk! I knew it'd be in there somewhere.

...spending money got you or your family into trouble?

I'm an American baby. Buy buy buy!


--------------------

~I was born of a voice untimely,
the so-called echo of a man's ordure~


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