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InvisibleSwami
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Abs of Jesus
    #4285841 - 06/12/05 07:02 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

How many times have you seen the picture of Jesus and thought, "Damn! He has got some serious abdominal muscles!"?

Well, I just got that new video about the Nazarean diet and work-out program that Jesus followed to get those ripped abs that he had on the cross. Looks very promising. :thumbup:


Swami before:




Swami after:






Edited by Swami (06/12/05 07:25 AM)


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
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Re: Abs of Jesus [Re: Swami]
    #4285873 - 06/12/05 08:19 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Apparently the Holy Diet of Holy Wafers&Wine and Holy Water combined with Holy Excercise Program transformed you from woman to man?


Sign me up! :thumbup:



--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Abs of Jesus [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #4285882 - 06/12/05 08:50 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

:rotfl: Yeah, What kind of wafers are those Swami?


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"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
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Re: Abs of Jesus [Re: Icelander]
    #4285886 - 06/12/05 09:01 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

I think Americans are obviously more sold on some other enlightened sage's diet & excercise strategy...




Abs like Jesus or Belly like Buddha... hmmm.



--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: Abs of Jesus [Re: Swami]
    #4285928 - 06/12/05 09:38 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

"work out program that Jesus followed to get those ripped abs he had on the cross"

In those days, they had a different type of "cross" training.  It really worked a lot of muscle groups and was great for weight loss, but the side effects were serious including death.  :tongue:


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Anxiety is what you make it.


Edited by LunarEclipse (06/12/05 09:48 AM)


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InvisibleSwami
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Re: Abs of Jesus [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #4285932 - 06/12/05 09:42 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

"cross" training

Heh, don't know how I missed that one! :lol:


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: Abs of Jesus [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #4285950 - 06/12/05 09:56 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

OK Skorp, if you promise to pay me 1/2 the royalties, your new restaurant and beer garden is -

Body by Buddha

Because there is always some Bud in Buddha!

Million dollar idea, right?


--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
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Re: Abs of Jesus [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #4285982 - 06/12/05 10:16 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Ka-Ching!


Sorry, just tend to practice Asian screams when I cultivate my Buddhahood...




--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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OfflineGomp
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Re: Abs of Jesus [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #4286142 - 06/12/05 11:48 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

lol


--------------------


--------------------
Disclaimer!?


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Offlinedr0mni
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Re: Abs of Jesus [Re: Gomp]
    #4286224 - 06/12/05 12:15 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

HAHA!

I wonder why they depict jesus, a "man" who is supposedly a virgin, with so much damn sex appeal! LOL! I should form a band and call it Airbrushed Jesus!


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OfflineOldWoodSpecter
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Re: Abs of Jesus [Re: dr0mni]
    #4286275 - 06/12/05 12:34 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

He was not a virgin because nobody wanted him, but by his own choice, so he could have been good looking.
In fact if he was, it is logical to assume that there were wimen following him because of his sexipile, or men too.

But I think that modern people in this sex driven society assume too much about the past. People say: he must have been good looking in order to get so many followers, or he must have been cool, or funny or whatever. Not every society has the same ideals. In some societies being funny is interpreted as not being serious enough, or being childish and irresponsible, so it is not praised so much. Or in some societies of the past, looking good only caused envy, so nobody like good looking people. Nothing is absolute


--------------------
I descend upon your earth from the skies
I command your very souls you unbelievers
Bring before me what is mine


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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
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Re: Abs of Jesus [Re: Swami]
    #4286507 - 06/12/05 01:36 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Why are oriental Buddhas always so fat. I gave my mother a Buddha from Japan for Christmas, and he has got such a large ass and belly that I don't think such a being could even get up...much less walk. I understand that in the oriental world that a little fat is considered a sign of prosperity, but these Buddhas imply that many non-Buddhist concepts, like gluttony, are being practiced by the culture.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda


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OfflineOldWoodSpecter
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Re: Abs of Jesus [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #4286550 - 06/12/05 01:47 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

not all of them ar fatt. Most giant statues that they pray to look regular. My buddha statue too is regular too. Sometimes you can find fat buddhas in gift shops, but I believe most REAL buddhas in temples are good looking


--------------------
I descend upon your earth from the skies
I command your very souls you unbelievers
Bring before me what is mine


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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
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Re: Abs of Jesus [Re: OldWoodSpecter]
    #4288002 - 06/12/05 07:24 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

I have seen very skinny ones in photos of Indian temples. I have a Buddha from Japan that is an antique. I have been told on good authority that it is a very authentic Japanese design...down to some very minute details....it is rather portly, but not unreasonably fat.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda


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OfflineOldWoodSpecter
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Re: Abs of Jesus [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #4288010 - 06/12/05 07:26 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

As I understand the legend says that Buddha was skin and bones after he decided to live among the people


--------------------
I descend upon your earth from the skies
I command your very souls you unbelievers
Bring before me what is mine


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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
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Re: Abs of Jesus [Re: OldWoodSpecter]
    #4288030 - 06/12/05 07:32 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

That is what I understand to be correct.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda


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Offlinedr0mni
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Re: Abs of Jesus [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #4305053 - 06/16/05 08:51 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

yeah, buddha was supposedly very skinny and emaciated. The original buddha statue was a very thin one. I'm pretty sure that the fat dude with the long earlobes, sitting on a pile of cash is a purely symbolic version...


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Invisibleorechron
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Re: Abs of Jesus [Re: dr0mni]
    #4305106 - 06/16/05 09:08 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

For those interested I've written and published the "abs of Jesus" diet plan. In order to maintain my financial support I can't divulge the finer points of the diet but I can tell you that it involves long days of working in the desert while eating very small, simple meals.

I'm selling it for $24.99 a copy. If you want to be charitable please feel free to throw the extra penny in. It would really help pay off my student loans. Also, for a limited time only I'll be including my patented "lose 20 lbs in 4 weeks" diet and the world renowned Orechron Inc. Surgical 2x4.


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Live by the foma that make you brave, and kind, and healthy, and happy.


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Offlinefireworks_godS
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Re: Abs of Jesus [Re: dr0mni]
    #4310252 - 06/18/05 08:20 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

dr0mni said:
yeah, buddha was supposedly very skinny and emaciated. The original buddha statue was a very thin one. I'm pretty sure that the fat dude with the long earlobes, sitting on a pile of cash is a purely symbolic version...




Completely different Buddhas.



The Laughing Buddha, Hotei



You ignorant fools. :lol:

:headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :satansmoking:
Peace. :mushroom2:


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:


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