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Invisiblevampirism
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a dilemma
    #4281708 - 06/10/05 11:42 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

when not smiling, people say i look scary. Ive had people back down from fights just because i look really tough when i'm pissed.

HOWEVER i'm really just gentle and constructive.

SO the people who want to meet me expect some type of bruiser, and the other people are afraid of meeting me :p .

oh well. I shall just remain on a low supply of friends..


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OfflineXUL
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Re: a dilemma [Re: vampirism]
    #4281793 - 06/11/05 12:00 AM (11 years, 5 months ago)

are u one of those doods who has permanatly mean looking eye brows

they always look pissed

yea.. some doods look like that, but usually u can tell after a conversation with them u know


--------------------
Do not wait to strike until the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.
-W.B. Yeats


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Invisiblevampirism
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Re: a dilemma [Re: XUL]
    #4281797 - 06/11/05 12:01 AM (11 years, 5 months ago)

yeah. i have a heavy bone structure around my brow.. its not like it clouds my eyes or makes me look like i have a unibrow, but it does make me look ready to murder someone. Whoopsie


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OfflineXUL
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Re: a dilemma [Re: vampirism]
    #4281829 - 06/11/05 12:08 AM (11 years, 5 months ago)

eh thats a cool thing tho,

i think i look too nice, so peeps walk on me


--------------------
Do not wait to strike until the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.
-W.B. Yeats


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Invisiblevampirism
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Re: a dilemma [Re: XUL]
    #4281836 - 06/11/05 12:11 AM (11 years, 5 months ago)

yeah it's cool when i want people to back down, but girls generally avoid you if you look pissed and i cant avoid looking pissed.

do you at least get something out of looking nice?


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OfflineXUL
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Re: a dilemma [Re: vampirism]
    #4281851 - 06/11/05 12:14 AM (11 years, 5 months ago)

mmm i dunno, .. i like gettin high and walkin aruond with a big smile on my face lol

im suprised u dont get the ladies, at my school i always see the mean lookin frat guys with all the fuckin hot chicks


--------------------
Do not wait to strike until the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.
-W.B. Yeats


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Invisiblemantis
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Re: a dilemma [Re: vampirism]
    #4281874 - 06/11/05 12:20 AM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Join the club, man.

I don't have a unibrow but I do look like I'm pissed off most of the time. It's strange because I look mad unless I'm actually smiling at the moment-- I guess it's just the way my face is shaped.

I've been making a conscious effort to look less pissed but I revert as soon as I stop thinking about it.

At least it has benefits... people assume you're a bad-ass who'll fuck up the next person who talks to you :shrug:

That's good AND bad.


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Invisiblevampirism
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Re: a dilemma [Re: XUL]
    #4281878 - 06/11/05 12:20 AM (11 years, 5 months ago)

well thats probably because their personality was a bit like that. Most frat guys are assholes and are actually mean.

inside im kind of a giant pussy, just that i'd stand up for my beliefs. I like peace and warm sunlight and puppies and etc. Wait i have a better word: sensitivity. Because of how I was brought up and the fact that I'm an artist so I'm always looking at things reaaaally close, it's impossible for me to play the game very well =/.


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Invisiblemantis
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Re: a dilemma [Re: vampirism]
    #4281904 - 06/11/05 12:25 AM (11 years, 5 months ago)

BTW - this all flies out the window when I'm stoned. I'm the most obvious-looking stoner

Don't worry about it scaring off girls because it shouldn't. If you look a little down then girls won't care-- unless you look like you're REALLY fucking disgruntled. I look slightly mad-- not like I'm filled w/ murderous rage.

I still have women approach me when I'm out... I've even had them ask me "Awwwwww, what's wrong?" :lol:


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Invisiblevampirism
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Re: a dilemma [Re: mantis]
    #4281918 - 06/11/05 12:32 AM (11 years, 5 months ago)

hmmm

maybe i should do more drugs? I seem to be more sociable when im stoned, but i almost never get stoned.

ehh. i dont know what my problem is then, maybe its a mixture of everything, but i'm incredibly bad and always have been. Let me recount but one example:



In grade school, I had a huge crush on a really cute girl and she liked me. I didn't think so, but looking back it was REALLY obvious. She talked to me a lot, and i listened but i was too young to know what else to do. I went to a different school.

High school freshman- I see her. She is going to my school! And shes hotter than ever!!! First day of class, i finish getting my food and she asks "hey mike. uhh.. whats for lunch?" (obviously just a conversation starter) "Um. fish!" /walks off

haha wait im getting back into memories

Sophmore year, different girl. "Hey mike, are you going to the dance saturday?" "...what dance?" ( I KNEW THERE WAS A GODDAMN DANCE! ) "...nevermind"

Same year, the two hottest girls in the school randomly say hi to me. I was just surprised and thought they were talking to someone else. I keep walking. "Uh. Did he just ignore us!??"


Ok, wait. Nevermind. I just realized my problem isn't really looks, it's that I'm a retard.


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Invisiblemantis
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Re: a dilemma [Re: vampirism]
    #4281926 - 06/11/05 12:37 AM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Well... now is the perfect time to do something about that, eh? No need to dwell on shit that happened in GRADESCHOOL (or highschool, for that matter)


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Invisiblevampirism
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Re: a dilemma [Re: mantis]
    #4281928 - 06/11/05 12:38 AM (11 years, 5 months ago)

no no, i could go up to the present. I was just stuck in memories. It's harder to remember recent ones because they're more relevant and so I don't WANT to remember.

so how do you go about not being a retard?


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OfflineXUL
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Re: a dilemma [Re: vampirism]
    #4281950 - 06/11/05 12:45 AM (11 years, 5 months ago)

dood, that sounds fuckin exaclty like something i would do.

I just cant act social around girls, well at least the ones I like


--------------------
Do not wait to strike until the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.
-W.B. Yeats


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Invisiblemantis
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Re: a dilemma [Re: vampirism]
    #4281956 - 06/11/05 12:47 AM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Relax and realize that everyone else in the world is probably more concerned w/ what you think than you are concerned about what they think (did ya get that? :lol:)

I guess trial-and-error would be a good approach for you. Instead of ending conversations so damn quickly you should expand and ask some questions, etc.

Initiating a conversation is key. In your examples the women did that for you :smile: Once it's started you probably won't have to do all that much work because most women won't shut the fuck up once you start them on something.


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: a dilemma [Re: vampirism]
    #4282075 - 06/11/05 01:24 AM (11 years, 5 months ago)

It's sounds like you are not expecting girls to even take an interest in you and so when they do, you are in disbelief and unprepared.

To change your current reactions, start believing that there are lots of reason for girls to take an interest in you so they won't catch you by suprise. Visual interactions where you are responding with casual ease and confidence. Visualize yourself taking initiatives to follow through with panning to meet up again for a date, activity or cup of coffee.

Start to see yourself and think of yourself as that guy. Ask questions about what they are up to at the time they approach you to get a ball rolling. Ask questions or make comments about that they can relate to.

Research was done that showed the people labeled the most interesting to others were the ones who actually were asking questions about them. People love talking about themselves. Ask questions and make comments that show you can relate. Girls love feeling like someone understands them. Make a nice comment about an accessory she has or odd piece of jewelry. That will be taken as a sign that you are selective eye and make her feel special if you are showing her interest. Liking what she likes will also make her feel like you are in her comfort zone.

Look to ask questions and make comments regarding things of common interest that you can relate to her with to start building a bond with or foundation to build on.

Remember to smile and mostly to look them in the eyes. That shows interest and people like it when others show interest in them. If you don't make eye contact and tend to look away, that is perceived as a sign of lack of interest and the girls will walk away feeling rejected by you just because you didn't look them in the eye.

Oh hell, just look them in the eye and smile and do nothing else. Smile and stare into them. If she is really interested in you, that will melt her from the inside out and it's ON!

If she asks "whaaat?" while your staring into her eyes with a goofy grin, act like you just got caught up and lost in her. She'll love it. if you can actually get caught up and lost in her then really do it so she can "feel" it.

And now, my husband is staring at me from around the doorway with a goofy smile on his face. Works like a charm and I'm outta here for now.


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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