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 chrispc
Durban, SouthAfrica (Soon)
Registered: 08/05/02
Posts: 254
Loc: London, UK
Last seen: 18 years, 8 months
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 Choose life. 
#4255678 - 06/04/05 11:40 AM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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I want in my heart to give up on drugs. However, the mear thought of it is scary. The ordinary world is scary. I can't go one day without "what buzz can I get today." feelings. My usual response to this is DXM Alcohol and Cannabis. When I do these substances I get panic attacks and swear never to do them again. I then wake up the next day with the same old thoughts. "What buzz can I get today."
Now I am on Anti-Depressants and other meds. Citalopram, Olanzapine and Beta Blockers. So I knoe I should not be doing rec drugs. I just find myself looking for a buzz all the time.
I guess my question is, how can I forget drugs and move on. They were once such a powerful thing in my life which I enjoyed. I don't enjoy them anymore, but I just keep chasing the old buzzes.
Thanks in advance for any thoughts.
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"We are what we think.
All that we are arises with our
thoughts."
- Buddha in the Dhammapada -
ChrisC
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 MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Choose life. [Re: chrispc]
#4255699 - 06/04/05 11:49 AM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Do you have a lot of free time on your hands? I do drugs more when I am bored.
What is your lifestyle like?
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chrispc
Durban, SouthAfrica (Soon)
Registered: 08/05/02
Posts: 254
Loc: London, UK
Last seen: 18 years, 8 months
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Re: Choose life. [Re: MOTH]
#4255744 - 06/04/05 12:01 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
EllemyshShade said:
Do you have a lot of free time on your hands? I do drugs more when I am bored.
What is your lifestyle like?
I have a lot of freetime on my hands. Yes that could be it. I am at this precise moment trying to develop some hobby. So far it's joining a book club, reading. Also I love Chess and Gardening. I'm hoping this will take my mind off of the craving for a buzz. Although as I type this I am pissed on booze. Hmmmm.
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"We are what we think.
All that we are arises with our
thoughts."
- Buddha in the Dhammapada -
ChrisC
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HeavyToilet
The Heaviest OfThem All
Registered: 08/06/03
Posts: 9,458
Loc: British Columbia
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Re: Choose life. [Re: chrispc]
#4255751 - 06/04/05 12:03 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Yeah, lots of free time'll do it. 
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eris
underground
Registered: 11/17/98
Posts: 48,024
Loc: North East, USA
Last seen: 7 months, 3 days
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Re: Choose life. [Re: chrispc]
#4255813 - 06/04/05 12:15 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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I know exactly how you feel. My whole life has been the same pretty much, except that I never really wanted to give the drugs up. I started out at a very young age and just kept using whatever drugs that I could get my hands on. It was like an fascination and obsession.
When I tried to go a few days of being sober, all that I could think about was getting something to use. I was always "bored" and not easily entertained.
Hobbies and interests seem to help keep my mind off of drugs temporarily. I like doing science related things such as chemistry, biology and mycology.
Sometimes I just need to get away from everything and I go on epic hikes into the woods, alone.
Computers and technology can keep me busy also, I write code and work on software development projects.
Being lazy or just not feeling like doing anything usually gets me to choose drugs over other activities.
In time, I seem to just lose interest in specific drugs. I made the stupid mistake of letting my body become physically dependent on drugs. To where if i don't have them, I get into a world of pain. It will get to a point where you no longer take them to feel good but instead to feel normal. Stay away from using those kinds of drugs. Just remember no matter how bored or miserable you think you are, it's nothing compared to how you will feel when your body is dying for a chemical that it must have to feel "normal".
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Immortal / Temporarily Retired
The OG Thread Killer
My mushroom hunting gallery
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Society
Mmmm... pizza
Registered: 07/03/04
Posts: 14,303
Loc: 
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Re: Choose life. [Re: eris]
#4256725 - 06/04/05 05:32 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Gardening and reading sound like the best things to get yourself into right now, including exercise... with the exception of gardening marijuana for your own personal consumption.
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Delicious Pizza
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ShroomOmatic
Ethno Apprentice
Registered: 10/14/04
Posts: 2,373
Loc: Sailing the Seas of Chees...
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Quote:
HeavyToilet said:
Yeah, lots of free time'll do it.
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LiveByFreedom
Catalyst
Registered: 03/21/05
Posts: 652
Loc: Mountains
Last seen: 17 years, 8 months
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Lmao, this thread made me realize how much free time i have on my hands, and how much of it i spend looking to alter my mind. I need some more hobbies!! My plants don't take up enough time in my day, i wish i had 10 times as many.
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"Everything is not as it seems." Eye
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primushrooms
Back Door Man
Registered: 06/05/05
Posts: 26
Loc: somewheres in california
Last seen: 18 years, 4 months
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Hobbies are a good way to move on. If you find something that really enjoy doing, it can almost substitute for your old highs. Like me, I started takuing up flying airplanes and it has been such a trip that it gets me high just being in the sky.
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I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That's my dream. That's my nightmare. Crawling, slithering, along the edge of a straight razor, and surviving.
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PriitK
Stranger
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 850
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i love metal detecting/fishing get you out in nature too
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I don't do drugs....I am drugs
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gbhtrfv
journeyman
Registered: 02/09/04
Posts: 154
Last seen: 17 years, 11 months
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Re: Choose life. [Re: PriitK]
#4262465 - 06/06/05 01:00 AM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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it might be a good thing to read up on some leary or mckennca. it can change your views on drugs and treat them with more respect. even alcohol has a history of being used in religion.
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Psiloman
member
Registered: 04/11/03
Posts: 1,116
Loc: Europe
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
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Re: Choose life. [Re: chrispc]
#4262732 - 06/06/05 07:05 AM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
chrispc said:
I want in my heart to give up on drugs. However, the mear thought of it is scary. The ordinary world is scary. I can't go one day without "what buzz can I get today." feelings. My usual response to this is DXM Alcohol and Cannabis. When I do these substances I get panic attacks and swear never to do them again. I then wake up the next day with the same old thoughts. "What buzz can I get today."
Now I am on Anti-Depressants and other meds. Citalopram, Olanzapine and Beta Blockers. So I knoe I should not be doing rec drugs. I just find myself looking for a buzz all the time.
I guess my question is, how can I forget drugs and move on. They were once such a powerful thing in my life which I enjoyed. I don't enjoy them anymore, but I just keep chasing the old buzzes.
Thanks in advance for any thoughts.
What you fell victim of was not responsible ,helpfull drug use but it was drug abuse. Addiction is a serious issue and one of its identification points is when you spent your day thinkign of ways to get high.
Try reformulating some of your drug ideas!Ok ,thats difficult since most people use them for "recreation" and your circle of friends might be abusers that if you speak to them about something different than "continuous drug intake" look at you as if you are sick or something.So we will go for "substitution",i cant expect people to change views overnight:
Try doing something else...Have you tried painting or an art? They can be very fulfiling.Put your energy on something that is rewarding.Try growing different plants,or try making stuff like trekking sticks (you can make them of wood and carving on thm) or anything else that requires devotion,concentration and provides a visual,an aesthetic reward ! Looking at your painting or at something you made can be very fullfiling!
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chrispc
Durban, SouthAfrica (Soon)
Registered: 08/05/02
Posts: 254
Loc: London, UK
Last seen: 18 years, 8 months
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Re: Choose life. [Re: Psiloman]
#4263322 - 06/06/05 11:47 AM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Do you think hanging around boards like this is bad. Could it feed the thoughts of wanting to get high.
--------------------
"We are what we think.
All that we are arises with our
thoughts."
- Buddha in the Dhammapada -
ChrisC
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Choose life. [Re: chrispc]
#4263599 - 06/06/05 01:06 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Only you can answer that...be honest: IS being on the Shroomery making you feel like you want to be high all the time?
If yes, then take a break for awhile until you get your cravings under control.
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Society
Mmmm... pizza
Registered: 07/03/04
Posts: 14,303
Loc:
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Re: Choose life. [Re: MOTH]
#4264087 - 06/06/05 02:35 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Which is not a good thing because these forums, especially ones like this are supposed to be for the benefit of a person. But I can completely understand why posting on a website about drugs (specifically mushrooms) would give you that feeling.
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Delicious Pizza
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