|
 Some of these posts are very old and might contain outdated information. You may wish to search for newer posts instead.
|
 gotmagog
searching fortruth andlogic...
Registered: 01/18/04
Posts: 239
Loc: Europe
Last seen: 15 years, 7 months
|
 shrooms and my relation with them 
#4249108 - 06/02/05 04:41 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Hi there
I tripped for the first time 3 years ago, and since then, i have tripped around 10 times. Unfortunately, i am losing the magick somehow.
At first, i just loved them, my first trips were warm and full of love, and the visuals were amazing. I was so excited to see everything different. I thought that everyone should see this and preached to my friends to taste the amazing shrooms.
I read Castaneda and Terrance Mckenna, and got excited about their books. I also read the tibethan book of the dead, and other stuff from the psychedelic library. But nowadays, my youthful enthusiiazm is all gone. Castaneda and Mckenna seem like charlatans, i don't know if i have learned anything useful from them. I no longer enjoy the visuals much, because they seem just like toys, funny stuff that does not matter and distracts me, and after several trips does not seem too novel. I also do not speak about my shroom use to anyone and even when people who have never tried shrooms ask me about them, i tell them "decide for yourself" and don'T encourage them 100% like before, i don't want to get involved and feel responsible for others.
Today i tripped on 15 grams of fresh philosopher'S stones and the trip went semibad like all my previous 3 trips - i get paranoid and fight it, i could not think clearly at all. I hoped that after having waited 5 months after my last disappointing trip i will feel beter, but this was not the case.(at least i did not get scared like in january, when i got scared that i am getting older and will die of cancer one day) I have hoped that with experience my trips will get better, but this is not the case.
I wonder if i get anything useful from shrooms, but still, i will trip after several months again. I still have faith that even if i feel bad during my trips somehow they give me perspective of my life.
I wonder what to do next. Maybe i should start meditating more and tripping solely alone in silent darkness, to get introspective. I still have tremendous respect for shrooms and want to use them wisely. I am 24 years old now and i want to remain friend with the shrooms untill the rest of my life.
But sometimes i wonder, did shrooms really change me and help me. I have grown emotionally more mature the last 3 years, but it is difficult to tell if it is because of the shrooms, or just because i am getting older and collecting new experiences. I am sure that shrooms have not hurt me, but have they helped me? I have seen a somehow different perspective of what is to be human, but still, i am not a happier person than before and get depressed from time to time.
Has anyone else here also had similar experience - the entusiazm of the first tries, than some disappintments, and finally, hopefully, a wise and mature relationship with the entheogen? And how can u be sure that mushrooms have really helped u with your life?
It is true that it is not only the chemical, but also my mind that creates the experience, but still, i want to use the tool of shrooms in the best possible way for personal growth
|
kroum
Stranger
Registered: 04/04/04
Posts: 54
Loc: CA
Last seen: 17 years, 11 months
|
 Re: shrooms and my relation with them [Re: gotmagog]
#4249999 - 06/02/05 08:24 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
The most important thing, I think to remember about a shroom trip is that YOU are the one making the trip, not the mushrooms. I don't know you personally so obviously I can not make judgements, but perhaps you are taking the shrooms for granted, you expect THEM to do something for you, they are a vehicle, not a magician. You have to supply to "material" for your trip. Perhaps get down to basics, take an 8th, or even less, it's hard to accomplish something useful on an insanely large doese... But then again I am just a beginner with only 3 trips under my belt, 2 on 8ths and one on very potent 4.2 grams of powdered shrooms which went totally insane and bad...
just my 2 cents
Best of luck
--------------------
"Why not?"
Last words of Timothy Leary
|
 MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
|
Re: shrooms and my relation with them [Re: gotmagog]
#4251745 - 06/03/05 09:43 AM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
I wonder what you are scared of when you have these "bad" trips? In my opinion, most scary or uncomfortable trips are caused because the tripper is having difficulty "letting go" all the way. This is normal! Your ego doesn't want to give up its prime position. Fear is of the ego, and it will do everything it can while you are tripping to ensure its survival. It will fight to the bitter end. And if you fight the unpleasant feelings and anxiety caused by this struggle, you will only feed it. The key is to simply accept whatever comes, "go with the flow" in every sense of the phrase.
My thought is that you have reached a point where shrooms are no longer just enjoyable or fun for you. Maybe you are getting to a point where they will demand more from you. I know I reached that point myself after shrooming for awhile, where I had to reevaluate what I believed was a "bad" or "good" trip. Now I feel that there are no "bad" trips, only difficult ones that carry a valuable lesson to be learned. I never go into a trip expecting to have a good time, but I often have one anyways if I have prepared for the trip and have focused on letting go.
Quote:
the entusiazm of the first tries, than some disappintments, and finally, hopefully, a wise and mature relationship with the entheogen? And how can u be sure that mushrooms have really helped u with your life?
I can relate strongly to your post, because I have gone through the same thing. As for how I know the mushroom has helped me, my only evidence is inside of me. I feel like a different person, and I like this person. I cannot deny the positive influence they've had on my life.
If you have not already read 'The Psychedelic Experience,' then I wildly suggest that you buy a copy, or read the online version here. It is an invaluable resource for people who use psychoactive drugs. I found I was able to use the material in the book to help enrich my own voyages, and also to aid me in the process of letting go. Now I read specific chapters of it everytime before I trip.
Good luck, I wish you the best.  
|
gotmagog
searching fortruth andlogic...
Registered: 01/18/04
Posts: 239
Loc: Europe
Last seen: 15 years, 7 months
|
Re: shrooms and my relation with them [Re: MOTH]
#4252169 - 06/03/05 12:44 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Thanks for your reply Elemy
I have read "the psychedelic experience" partly, but it did not strike me as "the truth", maybe i should read i more carefully again. How have u got the most out of it, by reading it many times, by trying to memorize it, by having a sober guide read it to u?
By the way, on my last trip i listened to Shpongle's new album, "nothing lasts". The magick of shpongle was lost on me, i could not relate to the music as before. I got again visions of aliens and strange faces from it, but i did not enjoy them, they were beautiful, but i shrugged them apart as mere pictures, meaningless patterns.
I regret now that i could not get them, or that such beauty was lost due to my resentful mood. Have u already tripped on this album and did you enjoy it(i saw in a post here that u considered doing this)
Peace and Love
|
MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
|
Re: shrooms and my relation with them [Re: gotmagog]
#4252297 - 06/03/05 01:31 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
gotmagog said:
Thanks for your reply Elemy
I have read "the psychedelic experience" partly, but it did not strike me as "the truth", maybe i should read i more carefully again. How have u got the most out of it, by reading it many times, by trying to memorize it, by having a sober guide read it to u?
Okay I have a few more thoughts...how is your sober life? Do you work at enriching it? I am not asking to be a snob and this is not a quiz.  But I've found that my trips are more enjoyable if my sober life is in order first.
The Psychedelic Experience helped me recover from a very traumatic trip I had where I experienced egodeath. The entire book is sort of a guide for what happens when you lose your ego, how to recognize the symptoms and let go, etc. When my friend had a difficult trip of her own, I gave her the book, and she too found it a useful resource. I read the sections about the first and second bardo often before I trip. Not every time, but enough that I understand and remember the message: total acceptance and surrender. That is not just some mumbo-jumbo. Going into a trip with acceptance for whatever happens and no expectations at all is k3y.
Another thing...how often do you trip? Perhaps if you take a holiday from shrooms for a few months you will rediscover the beauty and magic when you return.
Quote:
By the way, on my last trip i listened to Shpongle's new album, "nothing lasts". The magick of shpongle was lost on me, i could not relate to the music as before. I got again visions of aliens and strange faces from it, but i did not enjoy them, they were beautiful, but i shrugged them apart as mere pictures, meaningless patterns.
I regret now that i could not get them, or that such beauty was lost due to my resentful mood.
I wonder why your mood was resentful? Just in a bad mood? Were you expecting the trip to be something other then it was? Perhaps the setting wasn't as good as it could have been? Another possibility is that you simply weren't feeling the music. Asking yourself these questions can possibly help to pin point why you no longer "feel the magic."
And no, I will have to wait until after June to trip to the new Shpongle I suspect. I will not even take it out of its case until then, hehe. 
|
ryanvergel
qdbpqdbp
Registered: 05/14/05
Posts: 518
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
|
Re: shrooms and my relation with them [Re: MOTH]
#4252644 - 06/03/05 03:10 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Mushrooms have helped me evolve spiritually.
Started as a simple recreation and experiment, and the more I do them, the more connected I feel. I feel like a better person, like I am more connected to people and to the universe.
I used to have really bad depression, but I did shrooms anyways, and after a horrible bad first trip, the succeeding trips were pleasant, and are now very insightful.
When I dose up and trip, I end up feeling very spiritual, like there is more purpose and love, and it gives me some glimmer of hope. I now feel like there's energy, some special connection between things. It's helped shake off some of my cynicism and jadedness, and now I'm a better person.
I know for sure that shrooms have helped this, it's inside of me. I think once you start using the shrooms as a tool, you will have better trips. I can focus what I want shrooms to do, and it's been wonderful.
Good luck though, keep trying, don't give up on them =P
--------------------
So it goes.
|
gotmagog
searching fortruth andlogic...
Registered: 01/18/04
Posts: 239
Loc: Europe
Last seen: 15 years, 7 months
|
Re: shrooms and my relation with them [Re: MOTH]
#4264492 - 06/06/05 04:39 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Well, maybe i should really do something for my sober life first, and then trip again. On one hand, i am happy with how my educ?tion is progressing and my career perspectives and I have lots of friends. But on the other hand i still worry about the future and my relations with people.
I had always hoped that by tripping i will solve some of my personal problems, but what happens when one worries too much and can't even think clearly about stuff when tripping with shrooms? I have tried to gain insight about some problems while on shrooms , and seems like that the insight was "deal with this sober". Ironic...
So i should still read some more and reseearch, for what problems are mushrooms really helpful, if they are not "universal healers"
|
mecreateme
YoUisMEEMsiUoY
Registered: 05/13/04
Posts: 2,727
Loc: Memphrica
|
Re: shrooms and my relation with them [Re: gotmagog]
#4264592 - 06/06/05 05:12 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
They do not do the work for you. They aren't a magical doctor pill that cures your life's problems. They are a guide or rather a very large sign that points out the right way. They will only show you what could be, you need to stop shrinking away from your problems and fess up to them. If you continue on your path of looking to get magically "healed" you will only be in for dissapointment. The psychedelic path is not an easy one. You are the "universal healer" no substance is going to be able to do it for you. The psychedelic is just a key or a microscope that will let you see, you are the one in control in the end, and you must be the one who does the work. No one can do it for you, not even the mushroom.
--------------------
No ONE wants to know the ultimate TRUTH, as soon as YOU find IT out, YOU want to forget IT.
You are everything's way of feeling itself.
Happy Schwag, everygodly!
|
dr0mni
My Own Messiah
Registered: 08/21/04
Posts: 2,921
Loc: USF Tampa, Fl
Last seen: 16 years, 10 months
|
Re: shrooms and my relation with them [Re: mecreateme]
#4266156 - 06/06/05 11:32 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Perhaps these unpleasant experiances are the shrooms' way of telling you something. Just because it isn't joyful and exciting doesn't mean it is pointless.
Try to re-examine your self right now. There is obviously something bugging you, and maybe you aren't conciously aware of it.
"they were beautiful, but i shrugged them apart as mere pictures, meaningless patterns"
this is because that is exactly what they are. The world is devoid of meaning until you put some into it. What did those early experiences mean to you? Are those ideas still meaningful to you now? Do you feel the psychedelic experiance is relevent to your life now, or is it something you just do out of habit or tradition?
I know exactly what it's like to be unenthused by the trip that used to put you in heaven. It's sad. But there is always a lesson to be learned and a way to apply it to your life.
|
shroomkma
Stranger
Registered: 06/05/05
Posts: 592
|
Re: shrooms and my relation with them [Re: dr0mni]
#4283003 - 06/11/05 10:04 AM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
thanks heaps guys.....
i started off with shrooms last year ... had fun on em....
then i tryed some acid .. yeah was sweet the 1st 2 go's ...
then i had a full acid tab...
i had a bad trip ...
then bout 4 months later tryed
some more acid not a bad trip but was way to intence for me...
i kept thinking bout my bad trip....
i couldnt help it.. all the feelings were the same ... as the bad
trip... i havent touched acid since... but then last week i had 3 fresh mushies ( start of season ) had a fairly good trip.. last night i ate 14 over 2 hrs and bout half way thru the trip i got told i was going to get hit and things went bad...
but becos it wasnt as bad as the bad acid trip .. i was more incontroll and it finaly pased but the next 2 hours i was jusst sitting out side thinking bout my life and i feel more mature now and ive learnt a lesson ...
and i now feel more safe with mushrooms after reading what most of you's have said...
so thanks again... n now no trip will evr be bad again ... maybe jsut a bit of a struggle....
Edited by shroomkma (06/11/05 10:07 AM)
|
Freedom
Pigment of your imagination
Registered: 05/26/05
Posts: 6,016
Last seen: 19 days, 19 hours
|
Re: shrooms and my relation with them [Re: shroomkma]
#4283152 - 06/11/05 10:52 AM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
One thing that may be interfering may be that you ?get paranoid and fight it?. It may be that on your first trips you were able to look at how great the world is while being able to ignore how terrible the world is. You are getting older. You will die. These facts are in some ways terrible and terrifying (but not in other ways). It may be that as you become more familiar with the mushrooms, and less distracted by the ?toys?, that it becomes harder to ignore the terrible side of things. That paranoia you speak of is a clue that your mind is approaching a subject that it doesn?t quite like. When you resist the paranoia (or other uncomfortable feelings like general anxiety), the trip becomes about a fight- the paranoia fighting with the resistance of the paranoia. If you can let go and give in to the uncomfortable feelings, you may get closer to the subject that is uncomfortable. It will not be fun but it may be informative. The tricky part will then be dealing with the new information?..
|
|
Threaded
Previous
Index
Next
Edit 
Reply 
Mina
1 2 all )
Boppity604
trancefishy