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Offlinewoleb
below
Registered: 09/10/03
Posts: 135
Loc: South Australia
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
I think I fucked up
    #4238623 - 05/31/05 02:06 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Hey there. I think I may have really fucked up the social aspect of my life and need advice/a place to think it all through. This post might get long.

I can't remember when I started to resent him, but my longest-running, most frequently seen friend had started to get on my nerves probably about a year and a half ago, to two years, probably a few months after he started dating his first girlfriend. It might have been earlier but it doesn't matter. His name's Tim for what it's worth.
Now we'd been friends for roughly 3 or 4 years, since the start of 2000, and our families are really good friends. They see each other all the time and get along really well. Everyone in our group of friends and acquaintances, basically everybody we went to highschool with, knew we were good friends and all that. Anyway, he'd started to really irritate me and I could see myself getting angry with him a lot. It got to the point where I couldn't stand to hang around him; he was just too selfish, bland and careless for me to be bothered with. I could never bring it up because nothing he did was serious... just HEAPS of little things about the way he did things made me so mad. And besides, our families were real good friends, so it would have been hard to tell him to fuck right off, which is what I always find myself wanting to say.

Fast forward to late 2003, he leaves my bong out and my parents (who I am living with) find it. They're devastated and my relationship with them is changed forever. You could say it's my fault for owning a bong, but if it wasn't for fuckface they wouldn't have found it.

Fast forward to three weeks ago. It was his 6-month early 18th/going away party. Three days after the party he was leaving for 4-6 months to travel Europe. We all were drinking, and at the end of the night I'd pretty much sobered up, taken 6 or 7 caffiene pills and was going to drive home, since I had work that morning and really didn't want to cancel. Instead of me driving home though, he and his friend locked me in a room and said I was too drunk to drive. I wasn't, I admit I was not entirely sober, but was definetely under the limit. They went to bed with me in the bathroom, a big fucking chair against the door, and I didn't sleep at all. Missed work.
I know they thought they were doing the right thing but in the end it's my decision to make and they have no right whatsoever to infringe upon that.

Anyway, the next day I take pills with his girlfriend and her fuck buddy/my friend. His relationship with his girlfriend had been going downhill for a long time and she was about to break up with him. We have a threesome. I feel no guilt. This happened again last week (minus pills), and I felt no guilt this time either.
Everything's dandy up until this morning. He's in Europe, we're not going to tell anyone who'd tell him, everything's fine. I get this phonecall from a neutral friend, basically saying everyone knows about it, all my friends, all Tim's friends. Turns out his girlfriend had told her friend, and well you know how gossip snowballs. I know he's going to find out eventually; someone's going to tell him, and I can't fathom what's going to happen to me. My family and his will fucking murder me, and I don't want to think about what he'd do. He almost killed himself when his girlfriend cheated on him with one person she didn't know.

Thing is, out of us threesomers, I'm the only one with much to lose. The other guy isn't at all friends with Tim, and the girl is about to break up with him, and it's known she's cheated on him before. I've been his (reluctant) friend for 5 and a half years, and hardly anyone knows I don't like him at all.

Now I don't care if I'm not friends with him ever again. I just don't want him to hurt himself, and I don't want his family to hate me. I felt no regret AT ALL until I found out lots of people knew, and there was a possibility of him finding out.

The way I see it, I have three options. Maybe someone else can think of more.
a)I ring him in Europe and spill the beans. I might get points for honesty but it'd ruin his trip and I could guarantee the friendship being over.
b)I let nature take its course. If he finds out he finds out, if he doesn't he doesn't.
c)All three of us (me and the two I had sex with) team up and decide to lie about it. We tell everyone who asks that it's a filthy lie and that we'd never have a threesome.

Maybe it all could have been avoided if I told him the truth from the moment I started hating him.

I think perhaps the worst bit is that I'd do it again, and probably will.


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You'll thank me when you share my politics!


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Offlinescarymidgets
hobbies consumeyou or youconsume them..
 User Gallery

Registered: 03/08/05
Posts: 114
Loc: brains bad
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
Re: I think I fucked up [Re: woleb]
    #4238799 - 05/31/05 03:55 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

hmm if hes really your Friend which i don't think you view him as "your Friend" i would tell him dude your girl is a ho. she got fuckt up with me are friend we fuckt her,,

but since you don't seem to like him much i would tell him anyways

caz dude that's messed up

as far as him bein suicidal hes gota be trapped in denial if he thinks that shes not gona fuck around on him after she already did it once.

like i always say when your fuckin a whore you know your fuckin a whore.



I guess it has to do with you tho not him.

What would you have him do if he was in your place, and you in his place.



on a side note. Any one who gets fuckt up and fucks random people is askin for trouble.

STDS are a real . seriously if she will have sex with strangers id hope she would get tested for stds,

crotch rott sucks


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PLs People this a drug info site some people may be on drugs. /flameing might make you feel smart but makes you look dumb.


cant stop me if i eat your soul.


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Offlineduster
psychadelicgardener
Male User Gallery

Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 1,189
Loc: ARIZONA,TRANSLVANIAA,ETC....
Last seen: 20 days, 3 hours
Re: I think I fucked up [Re: woleb]
    #4238800 - 05/31/05 03:55 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

considering this a warning, be respectful.


--------------------
"Life is created out of the seeking of knowledge."


Edited by boO (06/01/05 08:08 PM)


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OfflineGus
Back in town.

Registered: 07/16/03
Posts: 1,503
Loc: Quebec, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
Re: I think I fucked up [Re: woleb]
    #4239577 - 05/31/05 12:42 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

You're the hypocrit here.
So basically you hanged out for 2 years with someone you hate?


Edited by boO (06/01/05 08:11 PM)


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Offlinecrunchytoast
oppositional

Registered: 04/07/05
Posts: 1,133
Loc: aporia
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
Re: I think I fucked up [Re: Gus]
    #4239687 - 05/31/05 01:19 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:


a)I ring him in Europe and spill the beans. I might get points for honesty but it'd ruin his trip and I could guarantee the friendship being over.
b)I let nature take its course. If he finds out he finds out, if he doesn't he doesn't.
c)All three of us (me and the two I had sex with) team up and decide to lie about it. We tell everyone who asks that it's a filthy lie and that we'd never have a threesome.





option c doesn't sound like it's going to work if the other two people don't have anything to lose. girl's cheating on her bf do you think she's going be quiet about this with people if YOU ask her not to?

if you choose option b there's a chance he finds out and doesn't tell you he knows.

why have you been friends so long with someone you don't like?


--------------------
"consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger


Edited by crunchytoast (05/31/05 01:39 PM)


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Invisiblebudsicle
s?igh?tsee?r

Registered: 04/19/05
Posts: 232
Re: I think I fucked up [Re: crunchytoast]
    #4239733 - 05/31/05 01:33 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

heh, i know what ya mean.. that has happened to several my friends, gladly not directly at me but ive been watching it with amusement :smile: i mean my friends did threesomes and even crazier and way grosser stuff. usually its only just the rumors and the gossip that make it look bad but in the end none of the people involved really cares about that shit and eventually just forget about it as just another event.. so i guess my best advice is to take it chill and just see what happens..


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InvisibleAdden
Extraordinary Beast
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 35,747
Loc: Amongst the Dunes
Re: I think I fucked up [Re: woleb]
    #4240177 - 05/31/05 03:44 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

We have a threesome. I feel no guilt.




:cheers:


People change and it sounds like this kid turned into a Grade-A loser. Apparently his girlfriend could see this too.

There's always option #4 -- keep having sex with both of them for as long as you can before he returns from Europe. Or even after. You're already knee deep in shit and all is lost, so might as well get some more vagina.


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InvisibleRavus
Not an EggshellWalker
 User Gallery

Registered: 07/18/03
Posts: 7,991
Loc: Cave of the Patriarchs
Re: I think I fucked up [Re: woleb]
    #4240222 - 05/31/05 03:54 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

It's good that you don't feel guilt, I applaud that at least.

Personally, it seems you should stop worrying so much about what everyone else thinks about you. He'll hate you? Who cares, he's an idiot anyway. His family will hate you? C'est la vie.

I'd just let nature ride its course and be nonchalant about it. You weren't the first person she cheated on him with, and you probably won't be the last, so it's not really your responsibility to worry about his hedonistic girlfriend.

Just chill out and let everything happen as it will.


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So long as you are praised think only that you are not yet on your own path but on that of another.


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OfflinePowerTrip
Polypharmaceutical Shaman
Male

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 03/07/05
Posts: 1,148
Loc: The void
Last seen: 4 years, 4 months
Re: I think I fucked up [Re: woleb]
    #4242366 - 06/01/05 12:59 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

I used to hang out with someone on a daily basis who I considered my friend. The only problem was that he was a total asshole most of the time. Your story really reminds me of him. Basically our friendship was completely terminated when we were drinking together and got into a fist fight. Honestly it sounds bad but my life after that was better because I didn't spend every day hanging around with a negative asshole of a person.

I didn't fuck his girlfriend, but I sure as hell would have if the opportunity arose. Your friend's girl was a slut from the sound of it. She was cheating on him anyway so you didn't really do any additional damage to their relationship. I say just let the information flow as it will, and let him find out about it if he so pleases. Worst(best) case scenario is that the guy is no longer your friend. This will only benefit you because as you described him, he is simply a burden to be around.


--------------------
I spit reality, instead of what you usually learn
and I refuse to be concerned with condescending advice
cause I'm the only motherfucker that can change my life


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Offlinewoleb
below
Registered: 09/10/03
Posts: 135
Loc: South Australia
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: I think I fucked up [Re: PowerTrip]
    #4243056 - 06/01/05 05:24 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Thanks for the suggestions. I think I'm just going to relax, not really do anything and see what happens. Just sort of ride it out.

Oh and a couple of people asked why I remained friends with him, it was because our families were good friends. I found it hard to tell him I didn't like him because of the impact it would have on our families' relationship.


--------------------
You'll thank me when you share my politics!


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Offlinecrunchytoast
oppositional

Registered: 04/07/05
Posts: 1,133
Loc: aporia
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
Re: I think I fucked up [Re: woleb]
    #4250247 - 06/02/05 11:24 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

so you were afraid of what your families would think of you if you spoke up?


--------------------
"consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger


Edited by crunchytoast (06/02/05 11:25 PM)


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Offlinewoleb
below
Registered: 09/10/03
Posts: 135
Loc: South Australia
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: I think I fucked up [Re: crunchytoast]
    #4250565 - 06/03/05 12:41 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

crunchytoast said:
so you were afraid of what your families would think of you if you spoke up?




Yeah. That's the main reason I don't want anyone else to find out. I like my friends family, and I respect them and their opinions, and I respect my own families opinions and would not like them to change their opinion of me because of something that they didn't need to find out about, and doesn't even affect them at all.


--------------------
You'll thank me when you share my politics!


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Offlinecrunchytoast
oppositional

Registered: 04/07/05
Posts: 1,133
Loc: aporia
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
Re: I think I fucked up [Re: woleb]
    #4250725 - 06/03/05 01:19 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

so you'd rather have these people respect you for things that aren't true?

losing respect must be a big thing.


--------------------
"consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger


Edited by crunchytoast (06/03/05 01:29 AM)


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Offlinewoleb
below
Registered: 09/10/03
Posts: 135
Loc: South Australia
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: I think I fucked up [Re: crunchytoast]
    #4251454 - 06/03/05 08:37 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

They aren't respecting me for not fucking someone close to a member of their family, they're respecting me because I've proved myself to be a decent person deserving of their respect. Maybe what I've done means I deserve to lose their respect, maybe it doesn't, I'd prefer not to find out.

Losing respect is a very big thing.


--------------------
You'll thank me when you share my politics!


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Offlinecrunchytoast
oppositional

Registered: 04/07/05
Posts: 1,133
Loc: aporia
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
Re: I think I fucked up [Re: woleb]
    #4251734 - 06/03/05 11:39 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

i understood you saying you felt no guilt when you had the threesomes because you don't like your friend.

i think you dealt with your true feelings by hiding them and they came out in other ways.


--------------------
"consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger


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InvisibleSociety
Pizza Guy

Registered: 07/03/04
Posts: 13,962
Loc: Eating pizza
Re: I think I fucked up [Re: crunchytoast]
    #4255255 - 06/04/05 10:17 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

There are more options that the ones you have listed. You could always discuss with his family about exactly what you wrote in this post- how you did certain things because he was such a horrible friend.

Immediately upon reading this post it made me think of plenty of my "friends"; they get to be such a pain in the ass, it becomes next to impossible to talk to them about it.

I don't know what else to tell you...


--------------------
Delicious Pizza


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