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OfflineToddo
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3rd Trip. Solo. Loosing controll. Light ego death.
    #4234479 - 05/29/05 10:07 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

This is my third and most powerful trip yet.  Little back ground:  I'm watching my moms house.  She has a nice pool and beautiful garden and plants everywhere.  I believe I ate 1.5-2gs dried.  My first trip was a disaster, my 2nd was gentle and insightful, and for my third.....


The phone rang.  It was my mom.  She asked if i could watch her house all weekend and keep an eye on the dog.  Of course i would!  Any thing to get out of the mad house i live in to get some peace and quite.  I have not tripped in over 3 months so I thought this would be a great time to take a larger dose.  Sunday morning would be the day. 

Saturday night was here.  I was pretty pumped to trip.  I filled my bike tires up, made my music CD, and cleaned the house up.  I set the clock for 4:30am.  I fell into a nice sleep, not worrying about the trip at all.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.  I reached for the alarm clock and turned it off with a hard hit.  I was happy to be awake on time.  I got up.  My plan was to bike around on the come up and chill around my pool while I peak.  I walked my dog then put him in his room thinking he would mess my trip up.  It was gray and wet outside. 

I was planning on eating the mushrooms over an hour.  I ended up eating them all over a 10 minute span.  All at 5:45am.  After I was done eating them I started to do random things....i was waiting for the first effects.  Once they hit i would get on my bike.  I turned on "the hobbit".  After about 10 minutes I felt just wanted to leave and start biking.  I garbed a note pad to log what I felt, and my CD player.  I jumped in the room where my dog was to get the CD player, we made eye contact...a large grin came over my face as I saluted him and left.

I turned on some tribal dance music then took off on my bike.  Things where all ready getting funny.  The street lights where glowing.  I made to a local school.  I parked my bike on the huge grassy field.  Things where already breathing on me.  After chilling on the grass i got back on my bike and road through the field.  The paint on the surface of the playground looked like glowing snakes.  I weaved in and out of them with my bike to the music.  My eyes started to get heavy and watery.

I road with my mouth wide open and half closed eyes.  I was going to trip harder the I thought i was.  After having a little more fun I decided to go back home. I was very tired on my way home.  All I wanted to do was lay down with some music.  At this point, it was only visuals...soon the mushrooms where going take out my mind.

On my way home, I felt kinda bad.  I was tripping hard and it was only 45minutes after eating them.  My normal thought process was slowly dieing.  The smile left my face when i got home.  The first thing I did was let my dog out of the room.  I felt bad for putting him in there.  The minute he got out he just stuck by my side.  I was getting scared. 


I sat on my bean bag near the dancing pool water.  The huge palm trees looked like skulls.  I decided I would lay down with some music.  I changed out of my cloths into some sweats.  I through a pillow on the bench and closed my eyes.  I was enjoying getting lost in the music.  I forgot that I was laying down there.

I'm not sure if i was having just mental pictures or CEV....but things where moving everywhere.  I became a bird soring then I watched a sphere get pulled into a vortex.  At one point some pink Floyd song came on and my whole body went nuts.  Huge body high.  All I could do was smile...its felt like an orgasm.  At the end of the song they where going nuts on the drums and guitars, I could have sworn they where trying to jack me off.  After the song I checked my pants...ok...good.  :wink:

Atom heart mother came on.  I started shaking my jaw.  Mid way through the song I started to fight the experience.  I sat up.  I felt my stomach turn as i got up.  I looked around.  Where was I?  O yeah...my house.  I cant die from this can I?  You cant die from it.  No ones died from it.  Your just tripping.  When did I eat them?  Wait...can I die from ...I think I want this to stop.  I want off.  I'm not letting go!  That would suck if I killed myself.  what if I call my parents?  During this time...I could think of nothing but wanting to be sober again.  I ignored the huge trail my hands left.  I tried to act sober. 

I better check the time.  It was 7.  O shit.  I'm not even peaking yet.  I got out a paper to see how long until this was over.  I wrote but time was starting to lose meaning.  I grabbed my cell phone and went outside.  I cant die from this can I?  I sat there trying to tell my self that its all going to be over by 10.  How long was that?  My dog ran up to me and licked my face.  I took a deep breath and thought my best bet it to turn "the Hobbit" back on.  I couldn't make since of hours any more...I just told my self when the movies over your going to get better. 

I turned it on.  I garbed my moms fluffy blanket and lay ed on the couch.  Hoping the movie will keep me in this realm I watched with a fake smile.  I watched nothing but the movie.  I ignored all the chaos.  what time was it?  I checked my cell phone...it said 7:15.  I god.  O yeah cant die!  But everything I knew was dieing.  My mouth felt weird.  Now my chest...i cant breath.  Now my brains melting into my throat.  I somehow got down a sip of water.  Still watching the movie I kept thinking 10:00.  I didn't know what it meant but all i know is it brought comfort thinking of it.  I smiled as I said 10.  10 was a happy number. 

I checked the time again...7:45.  This movie was lasting forever.  Would it ever end?  Thoughts off getting help crossed my mind...but who?  I just wanted to be with someone... Should I go online?  who am I?  I stared at the movie as I was thing all of this.  I was sinking in my blankets...the voices in the movie where starting to not mae sense.  There faces where breaking down into simpler forms.  I got up and blew my nose.  It felt great!  Like I was getting all the bad out. 

I ended up on my wood floor.  I needed to hang on.  I wasn't sure what i was hanging on too...but I was not letting go.  It was at that time when words of the movie came out to me.  Bilbo (the hobbit)was stuck in this hole and  said he wanted to be back home.  I was on the same boat he was on.  I stopped everything to hear what he had to say. 


He said something along the lines off be " I want nothing more then to go home...but to take those steps into the Unknown...that would be the bravest of all things." 

I believe this is when my ego died.  I just suddenly stoped thinking.  Nothing was left of me.  There was no me.  I didn't exist.  There was no fear.  I was primal.  Just walking around.  Up until then I was avoiding all mirrors.  I was soon in front of the mirror.  I would face myself.  I looked at the messy haired being that was crying and smiling.  What the hell...  I then watch my face start to die.  I wouldn't let myself turn away.  I was soon naked watching my self.  I was looking at some alien dance for me.  And next to me was a being that would watch over me.  I called him "Mr. frodo" (my dog).  I then put on my boxers and started walking around.  By now, my thoughts where gone.  It was experiencing the true world.  I cant describe it.  It wasn't scary or fun.  There was no "I" in my thought process.  It was just raw feelings.  I cried and laughed. 

I  went outside and layed on the bench again.  I started at the brick wall pull apart and open up.  The sounds of the cars started to slow down.  All sound started to stop then start back up.  I kept loosing and making contact.  after a bit i got up and went to lay down on my moms bed in front of a mirror.  my dog layed right under my chin.  He was asleep.  I stared into my face for about 30min.  Nothing was outside of the room.  I went somewhere during that time yet my eyes never left the my face on the mirror. 

As I got up from the bed I turned on big fish.  I was emotionless.  My self image started to piece its self back together.  I turned on my walk man and cleaned up around my house.  Soon outside I started to feel happy.  Happy to be back, happy to have made it through, happy to be me.

:thumbup: :heart:

It was great after I let go..but it was hard as hell to let go.  Everthing I knew told me to hang on. I felt like I was just hitting the surface of how deep you can go.  God...i wonder what 1/8th is like.  anyways...thanks for reading.  :sun:


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Offlineryanvergel
qdbpqdbp
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Registered: 05/14/05
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Re: 3rd Trip. Solo. Loosing controll. Light ego death. [Re: Toddo]
    #4234499 - 05/29/05 10:16 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

An eighth can be the same as 2g depending on potency. Amazing things can happen on small doses, as I've recently found out.

Nice report, long and detailed.


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So it goes.


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InvisibleHolydiver
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Re: 3rd Trip. Solo. Loosing controll. Light ego death. [Re: Toddo]
    #4234518 - 05/29/05 10:26 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

That was a great read, thanks for sharing.  The smaller doses really send me through the washer too, there's something about them. :mushroom2:


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To find a place to live between the negatives and positives.


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OfflineOrganic
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Registered: 04/14/02
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Re: 3rd Trip. Solo. Loosing controll. Light ego death. [Re: Toddo]
    #4234519 - 05/29/05 10:27 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Nice report, very good details, I can feel myself there with you. :smile:


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Invisibleblissedout
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Re: 3rd Trip. Solo. Loosing controll. Light ego death. [Re: Toddo]
    #4234551 - 05/29/05 10:45 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Nice report, man! I am glad that you made it through okay. Your ego is one of the hardest things to let go of, that is for sure. Hell yeah! :thumbup: :mushroom2:


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:murray:


Edited by blissedout (05/29/05 10:46 PM)


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InvisibleSkunk420
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Re: 3rd Trip. Solo. Loosing controll. Light ego death. [Re: Toddo]
    #4234564 - 05/29/05 10:51 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

sounds like you tripped hard, I always had fun trippin solo, or with someone..I am envious, dont worry, I have heard of people tripping on 3 or 4 times that amount, some people are more sensitive to low doses...I wish I was, I can tolerate any drug, and I am a small guy 5'5"..I just have been doing drugs for years...enjoy your fun time, I wish I could trip out that much....tripping is fun scary or not to me..I learn something everytime I trip really hard, I wish I felt this way sober sometimes..it would save the time to score it..
Hey, I wish I could trip that hard off a low dose..


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OfflineLethalX5
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Registered: 01/07/05
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Re: 3rd Trip. Solo. Loosing controll. Light ego death. [Re: Skunk420]
    #4237565 - 05/30/05 07:49 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

>>I jumped in the room where my dog was to get the CD player, we made eye contact...a large grin came over my face as I saluted him and left


ha, when i read that a large grin came over my face. nice report man. bug why did you trip so early?


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"To get what you've never had, You must do what you've never done."


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OfflineShred
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Registered: 05/12/05
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Re: 3rd Trip. Solo. Loosing controll. Light ego death. [Re: LethalX5]
    #4237670 - 05/30/05 08:24 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Good read. Nice report.


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I like heavy metal.


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OfflineShred
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Re: 3rd Trip. Solo. Loosing controll. Light ego death. [Re: LethalX5]
    #4237672 - 05/30/05 08:24 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Good read. Nice report.


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I like heavy metal.


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Offlinelilgreenmen
The darknesslets your mindfill in theblanks.

Registered: 01/25/05
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Re: 3rd Trip. Solo. Loosing controll. Light ego death. [Re: Toddo]
    #4237763 - 05/30/05 08:53 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Great report I too went out of my head off a small dose an 9 hour journey good read.. :thumbup:


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OfflineTadpole
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Registered: 11/20/04
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Re: 3rd Trip. Solo. Loosing controll. Light ego death. [Re: Toddo]
    #4237827 - 05/30/05 09:10 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Shred said:
Good read. Nice report.




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OfflineToddo
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Registered: 07/10/04
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Re: 3rd Trip. Solo. Loosing controll. Light ego death. [Re: LethalX5]
    #4244167 - 06/01/05 02:46 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)


Thanks for all the comments! glad you guys enjoyed reading it.

Quote:

LethalX5 said:
>>I jumped in the room where my dog was to get the CD player, we made eye contact...a large grin came over my face as I saluted him and left


ha, when i read that a large grin came over my face. nice report man. but why did you trip so early?



It seems to be a happier trip in the morning. I like to do it when I'm alone. But i must say, if you want more visuals, trip at night. The darkness lets your mind fill in the blanks.


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InvisibleArp
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Re: 3rd Trip. Solo. Loosing controll. Light ego death. [Re: Toddo]
    #4245083 - 06/01/05 06:53 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Thanks for your report! :heart:


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