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cybrbeast
Up, then down, then...
Registered: 01/06/03
Posts: 4,777
Loc: event horizon
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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This is the end...
#4234285 - 05/29/05 06:37 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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I'm cancelling my account and I am going to stop posting under this name. The reason for this is that my father has found out about me posting here. He is very concerned about my mental state and reading my posts here won't do him or me any good. Because here I am free do say what I want and can show a facet of the true me. But it's just a facet, because here I talk to cool, free druggy people which colours the topics and conversations. My father reads this like I am crazy or something, but it's just a side of me expressing myself.
I love my father very much and I know he loves me too and is just concerned about me. But I am not the only one who is mentally messed up. He is in a much worse state than me: Chronic depression and alcoholism under denial. I seek help for my problems, but he is just so very isolated and won't do that. I feel very sorry for him, but it's not my place or responsibility to change him, no matter how hard I try.
I will probably anonymously resurface under another nickname. To people who want to know which name or who want to keep in contact with me; please send me a PM.
I have lived a free an unconcerned sublife on the internet. But now it is time for a (un)healthy dose of paranoia and anonymity.
Cya guys, had some great times with you
And I just recently became a Shroomery supporter
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Shroomism
Space Travellin
Registered: 02/13/00
Posts: 66,015
Loc: 9th Dimension
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Re: This is the end... [Re: cybrbeast]
#4234288 - 05/29/05 06:39 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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you know.. you can just have the admins change your display name.. that way you log in on the same name.. but a different one shows up on the boards/searches/ etc..
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zSDMF
Stranger
Registered: 09/07/04
Posts: 10,562
Loc: lost in nothing
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Re: This is the end... [Re: cybrbeast]
#4234291 - 05/29/05 06:40 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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talk to your dad man, no need to hide who you are from yoru father. if he loves you that much he'll accept you for who you are.. my parents eventually have
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cybrbeast
Up, then down, then...
Registered: 01/06/03
Posts: 4,777
Loc: event horizon
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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Re: This is the end... [Re: Shroomism]
#4234293 - 05/29/05 06:41 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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Ah thank you for the info. I might do that. But first I'm going to travel again, to Scandinavia Also visiting Christiana for sure. Leaving coming tuesday
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cybrbeast
Up, then down, then...
Registered: 01/06/03
Posts: 4,777
Loc: event horizon
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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Re: This is the end... [Re: zSDMF]
#4234296 - 05/29/05 06:43 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
zSDMF said: talk to your dad man, no need to hide who you are from yoru father. if he loves you that much he'll accept you for who you are.. my parents eventually have
Nah that won't happen anytime soon. He sees me as David the psychotic (I had an episode), so do my friends and family (sub)consciously. So whatever I say, they can always put it away as just crazy thoughts. First I need to prove myself to myself and others
Edited by cybrbeast (05/29/05 07:10 PM)
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Learyfan
It's the psychedelic movement!
Registered: 04/20/01
Posts: 34,184
Loc: High pride!
Last seen: 9 hours, 59 minutes
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Re: This is the end... [Re: cybrbeast]
#4234297 - 05/29/05 06:43 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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Do what Shroomery member #104990, Shroomism has stated.
-------------------- -------------------------------- Mp3 of the month: Sons Of Adam - Feathered Fish
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Tadpole
Stranger
Registered: 11/20/04
Posts: 184
Last seen: 15 years, 1 month
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Re: This is the end... [Re: cybrbeast]
#4234300 - 05/29/05 06:44 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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That sucks man! I don't know what else to say.
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CaRnAgECaNdY
Tool's groupie
Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
Loc: Billy Howerdel's closet
Last seen: 8 months, 20 days
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Re: This is the end... [Re: cybrbeast]
#4234307 - 05/29/05 06:47 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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Do what Shroomism says. Don't leave...if possible.
-------------------- The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.
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cybrbeast
Up, then down, then...
Registered: 01/06/03
Posts: 4,777
Loc: event horizon
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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Re: This is the end... [Re: Learyfan]
#4234310 - 05/29/05 06:49 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Learyfan said: Do what Shroomery member #104990, Shroomism has stated.
Quote:
Desiree said: Do what Shroomism says. Don't leave...if possible.
I probably will. But for the duration of my travels I'll prolly go quiet.
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TheDudeAbides
Livin Off FrostyBarley Pops andPork Soda
Registered: 10/23/01
Posts: 3,571
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
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Re: This is the end... [Re: Tadpole]
#4234311 - 05/29/05 06:50 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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Party on man, take it easy and try to enjoy yourself...Maybe sit down and talk to your father? It sounds hard but once your in the process it feels a little better.
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cybrbeast
Up, then down, then...
Registered: 01/06/03
Posts: 4,777
Loc: event horizon
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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I will talk to him most definately, but not now. I am not ready for it, it will just get me down and depressed again. First I need more experience at free unbound life which I get in my solo travel(s)
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cybrbeast
Up, then down, then...
Registered: 01/06/03
Posts: 4,777
Loc: event horizon
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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Re: This is the end... [Re: Tadpole]
#4234382 - 05/29/05 07:23 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Tadpole said: That sucks man! I don't know what else to say.
Yeah it does a bit. But I'm just so worried about my father. He is so good at alienating people. He doesn't talk to much people besides me and my brother anymore. But we are not the right people to help him because we are his sons. Ever since me and my brother entered highschool I've just seen him get more and more depressed. He was so good at being a father that it was his life, which is why he suffered so much when me and my brother started to become independant. At least that is what I think happened.
I don't care about my account, I just hope he will be OK someday again.
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whiterabbit13
I'm late
Registered: 02/21/04
Posts: 1,360
Loc: Down the rabbit hole
Last seen: 18 years, 5 months
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Re: This is the end... [Re: cybrbeast]
#4234405 - 05/29/05 07:33 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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It is always hard to convince family about tabooed subjects. Best wishes and be true to yourself.
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cybrbeast
Up, then down, then...
Registered: 01/06/03
Posts: 4,777
Loc: event horizon
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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Thank you. It is my goal to be true to myself, but it is so hard sometimes. It is just so easy and natural for me to let my personality, and some principles float, just to adjust to the group I am with at that moment. There are some principle lines that people can never cross with me though, like racism and complete intolerance.
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PreparationH
apply daily
Registered: 03/28/05
Posts: 18,345
Loc: Amsterdam
Last seen: 3 hours, 28 minutes
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Re: This is the end... [Re: cybrbeast]
#4234586 - 05/29/05 08:56 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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ahh man dont leave, do what you have to do and get everything straight with your dad, but dont let stuff like that change who you are. If my mom found out what i did id probably be a little scared too, but i think id just tell her what i do and this is you dude, be yourself.
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Skunk420
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 18,524
Loc: inside
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Re: This is the end... [Re: Learyfan]
#4234611 - 05/29/05 09:03 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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it is hard to talk with your parents and tell then you love to trip...it is even harder to talk about how much you did and what your tripped on and still do...it might get you "fucking killed or beaten to a pulp" to the least...haha my trip too,, there is a little thing called the 'Undergound mafia'..hello??
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Learyfan
It's the psychedelic movement!
Registered: 04/20/01
Posts: 34,184
Loc: High pride!
Last seen: 9 hours, 59 minutes
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Re: This is the end... [Re: Skunk420]
#4234633 - 05/29/05 09:10 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
skunk78395 said: it is hard to talk with your parents and tell then you love to trip...it is even harder to talk about how much you did and what your tripped on and still do...it might get you "fucking killed or beaten to a pulp" to the least...haha my trip too,, there is a little thing called the 'Undergound mafia'..hello??
Ok, I will.
-------------------- -------------------------------- Mp3 of the month: Sons Of Adam - Feathered Fish
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cybrbeast
Up, then down, then...
Registered: 01/06/03
Posts: 4,777
Loc: event horizon
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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Re: This is the end... [Re: Learyfan]
#4303424 - 06/16/05 11:38 AM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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Well, I haven't changed nicks yet, haven't posted in a while either, was on vacation. Just came back from 2nd time Interlaken; was great, met great Chinese girl called Selena. Just arrived back home, just dropped by to say; hello, how are ya guys doin?
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OneMoreRobot3021
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,026
Loc: the sky
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Re: This is the end... [Re: cybrbeast]
#4303434 - 06/16/05 11:41 AM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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My girlfriend went skydiving in Interlaken, said it was one of the most beautiful experiences of her life floating down to the ground between the two lakes.
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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Phishgrrl
Walking in thetall trees...
Registered: 05/03/04
Posts: 5,079
Last seen: 18 years, 9 months
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Good luck bro- have a great trip and we'll see you around. At least your dad is concerned about you.
-------------------- Once in awhile you can get shown the light In the strangest of places if you look at it right...
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