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Offlinecybrbeast
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This is the end...
    #4234285 - 05/29/05 08:37 PM (12 years, 3 days ago)

I'm cancelling my account and I am going to stop posting under this name. The reason for this is that my father has found out about me posting here. He is very concerned about my mental state and reading my posts here won't do him or me any good. Because here I am free do say what I want and can show a facet of the true me. But it's just a facet, because here I talk to cool, free druggy people which colours the topics and conversations. My father reads this like I am crazy or something, but it's just a side of me expressing myself.

I love my father very much and I know he loves me too and is just concerned about me. But I am not the only one who is mentally messed up. He is in a much worse state than me: Chronic depression and alcoholism under denial. I seek help for my problems, but he is just so very isolated and won't do that. I feel very sorry for him, but it's not my place or responsibility to change him, no matter how hard I try.

I will probably anonymously resurface under another nickname. To people who want to know which name or who want to keep in contact with me; please send me a PM.

I have lived a free an unconcerned sublife on the internet. But now it is time for a (un)healthy dose of paranoia and anonymity.

Cya guys, had some great times with you  :thumbup:

And I just recently became a Shroomery supporter  :frown:


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InvisibleShroomismM
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Re: This is the end... [Re: cybrbeast]
    #4234288 - 05/29/05 08:39 PM (12 years, 3 days ago)

you know.. you can just have the admins change your display name..
that way you log in on the same name.. but a different one shows up on the boards/searches/ etc..


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InvisiblezSDMF
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Registered: 09/07/04
Posts: 10,562
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Re: This is the end... [Re: cybrbeast]
    #4234291 - 05/29/05 08:40 PM (12 years, 3 days ago)

talk to your dad man, no need to hide who you are from yoru father. if he loves you that much he'll accept you for who you are.. my parents eventually have


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Offlinecybrbeast
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Re: This is the end... [Re: Shroomism]
    #4234293 - 05/29/05 08:41 PM (12 years, 3 days ago)

Ah thank you for the info. I might do that.
But first I'm going to travel again, to Scandinavia
Also visiting Christiana for sure. Leaving coming tuesday  :grin:


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Offlinecybrbeast
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Re: This is the end... [Re: zSDMF]
    #4234296 - 05/29/05 08:43 PM (12 years, 3 days ago)

Quote:

zSDMF said:
talk to your dad man, no need to hide who you are from yoru father.  if he loves you that much he'll accept you for who you are.. my parents eventually have



Nah that won't happen anytime soon. He sees me as David the psychotic (I had an episode), so do my friends and family (sub)consciously. So whatever I say, they can always put it away as just crazy thoughts.
First I need to prove myself to myself and others  :frown:


Edited by cybrbeast (05/29/05 09:10 PM)


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OfflineLearyfan
It's the psychedelic movement!
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Re: This is the end... [Re: cybrbeast]
    #4234297 - 05/29/05 08:43 PM (12 years, 3 days ago)

Do what Shroomery member #104990, Shroomism has stated.





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Mp3 of the month: Park Avenue Playground - The Trip



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OfflineTadpole
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Registered: 11/20/04
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Re: This is the end... [Re: cybrbeast]
    #4234300 - 05/29/05 08:44 PM (12 years, 3 days ago)

That sucks man! I don't know what else to say.


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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
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Re: This is the end... [Re: cybrbeast]
    #4234307 - 05/29/05 08:47 PM (12 years, 3 days ago)

Do what Shroomism says. Don't leave...if possible.


--------------------

The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.


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Offlinecybrbeast
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Re: This is the end... [Re: Learyfan]
    #4234310 - 05/29/05 08:49 PM (12 years, 3 days ago)

Quote:

Learyfan said:
Do what Shroomery member #104990, Shroomism has stated.




Quote:

Desiree said:
Do what Shroomism says. Don't leave...if possible.



I probably will. But for the duration of my travels I'll prolly go quiet.


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OfflineTheDudeAbides
Livin Off FrostyBarley Pops andPork Soda
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Re: This is the end... [Re: Tadpole]
    #4234311 - 05/29/05 08:50 PM (12 years, 3 days ago)

Party on man, take it easy and try to enjoy yourself...Maybe sit down and talk to your father? It sounds hard but once your in the process it feels a little better.


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Offlinecybrbeast
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Re: This is the end... [Re: TheDudeAbides]
    #4234317 - 05/29/05 08:53 PM (12 years, 3 days ago)

I will talk to him most definately, but not now. I am not ready for it, it will just get me down and depressed again.
First I need more experience at free unbound life which I get in my solo travel(s)


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Offlinecybrbeast
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Re: This is the end... [Re: Tadpole]
    #4234382 - 05/29/05 09:23 PM (12 years, 3 days ago)

Quote:

Tadpole said:
That sucks man! I don't know what else to say.



Yeah it does a bit. But I'm just so worried about my father. He is so good at alienating people. He doesn't talk to much people besides me and my brother anymore. But we are not the right people to help him because we are his sons.
Ever since me and my brother entered highschool I've just seen him get more and more depressed. He was so good at being a father that it was his life, which is why he suffered so much when me and my brother started to become independant. At least that is what I think happened.

I don't care about my account, I just hope he will be OK someday again.


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Offlinewhiterabbit13
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Re: This is the end... [Re: cybrbeast]
    #4234405 - 05/29/05 09:33 PM (12 years, 3 days ago)

It is always hard to convince family about tabooed subjects. Best wishes and be true to yourself.


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Offlinecybrbeast
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Re: This is the end... [Re: whiterabbit13]
    #4234425 - 05/29/05 09:45 PM (12 years, 3 days ago)

Thank you. It is my goal to be true to myself, but it is so hard sometimes. It is just so easy and natural for me to let my personality, and some principles float, just to adjust to the group I am with at that moment. There are some principle lines that people can never cross with me though, like racism and complete intolerance.


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OnlinePreparationH
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Re: This is the end... [Re: cybrbeast]
    #4234586 - 05/29/05 10:56 PM (12 years, 3 days ago)

ahh man dont leave, do what you have to do and get everything straight with your dad, but dont let stuff like that change who you are. If my mom found out what i did id probably be a little scared too, but i think id just tell her what i do and this is you dude, be yourself.


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InvisibleSkunk420
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Re: This is the end... [Re: Learyfan]
    #4234611 - 05/29/05 11:03 PM (12 years, 3 days ago)

it is hard to talk with your parents and tell then you love to trip...it is even harder to talk about how much you did and what your tripped on and still do...it might get you "fucking killed or beaten to a pulp" to the least...haha my trip too,, there is a little thing called the 'Undergound mafia'..hello??


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OfflineLearyfan
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Re: This is the end... [Re: Skunk420]
    #4234633 - 05/29/05 11:10 PM (12 years, 3 days ago)

Quote:

skunk78395 said:
it is hard to talk with your parents and tell then you love to trip...it is even harder to talk about how much you did and what your tripped on and still do...it might get you "fucking killed or beaten to a pulp" to the least...haha my trip too,, there is a little thing called the 'Undergound mafia'..hello??




Ok, I will.





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--------------------------------


Mp3 of the month: Park Avenue Playground - The Trip



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Offlinecybrbeast
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Re: This is the end... [Re: Learyfan]
    #4303424 - 06/16/05 01:38 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Well, I haven't changed nicks yet, haven't posted in a while either, was on vacation.
Just came back from 2nd time Interlaken; was great, met great Chinese girl called Selena.
Just arrived back home, just dropped by to say; hello, how are ya guys doin?


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InvisibleOneMoreRobot3021
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Re: This is the end... [Re: cybrbeast]
    #4303434 - 06/16/05 01:41 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

My girlfriend went skydiving in Interlaken, said it was one of the most beautiful experiences of her life floating down to the ground between the two lakes.


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Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis


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OfflinePhishgrrl
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Re: This is the end... [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #4303445 - 06/16/05 01:45 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Good luck bro- have a great trip and we'll see you around.  At least your dad is concerned about you.  :hug:


--------------------
Once in awhile you can get shown the light

In the strangest of places if you look at it right...



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