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Veritas
Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
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Self Improvement
#4196301 - 05/19/05 03:21 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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I have spent a significant portion of my life focusing on improving what I perceive as flaws.
Now I begin to suspect that, like Dorothy wearing the ruby slippers on her arduous trek through Oz, I had what I was seeking all along.
What if (bear with me here, oh ye of little faith in human nature) we are already who we want to be when we grow up?
What if we're just getting in our own way by fixating on what's wrong, what needs fixing, what habits we must break?
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
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Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Self Improvement [Re: Veritas]
#4196692 - 05/19/05 05:16 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Well, there just may be some truth to this. It would take some practice to break the habit of fixing oneself.
Ken Keyes has this quote I like. "Love everyone unconditionally, including yourself." I think some people have trouble understanding that quote. They think he means liking everyone or letting them do whatever they want to you. I think he means that underneath all the structure of the personality, hangups, fears, problems ect., we are all part of the universe and belong and deserve to be here.
Some people may think not liking problem parts of the self and beating yourself up all the time will eventually effect a change for the better. But just maybe you're right. Accepting yourself right were you are now with all your problems may put you in a loving space towards yourself, and make it easier to effect positive change.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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OldWoodSpecter
waiting
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Re: Self Improvement [Re: Veritas]
#4196707 - 05/19/05 05:20 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Veritas said: I have spent a significant portion of my life focusing on improving what I perceive as flaws.
Now I begin to suspect that, like Dorothy wearing the ruby slippers on her arduous trek through Oz, I had what I was seeking all along.
What if (bear with me here, oh ye of little faith in human nature) we are already who we want to be when we grow up?
What if we're just getting in our own way by fixating on what's wrong, what needs fixing, what habits we must break?
Yea, that is how I feel too.
for the longest time I've been searching for "myself" everywhere, and then after I found myself I've realized that it's just plain old honest me that I've been when I was a kid
-------------------- I descend upon your earth from the skies I command your very souls you unbelievers Bring before me what is mine
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Cool , You really are YoungWood.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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OldWoodSpecter
waiting
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Posts: 4,033
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Re: Self Improvement [Re: Icelander]
#4196769 - 05/19/05 05:47 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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You should have seen me making a fool out of myself in my teenage years being all kinds of subculture stuff like a metal head with shirts, pointy wristbands and all that crap and then being a hopeless "romantic" writing poems and whatever. Not to mention being a hardcore (and I do mean hardcore) drunk for a year or two lol, that was a laugh
Then I just droped all that shit and went back playing with my toys and enjoying nature
-------------------- I descend upon your earth from the skies I command your very souls you unbelievers Bring before me what is mine
Edited by OldWoodSpecter (05/19/05 05:50 PM)
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JacquesCousteau
Being.
Registered: 06/10/03
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Quote:
OldWoodSpecter said: for the longest time I've been searching for "myself" everywhere, and then after I found myself I've realized that it's just plain old honest me that I've been when I was a kid
Man, I know what you mean. Exactly what happens to me every time I need a kick in the ass and a reminder of who I really am...
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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puwtrip
spirit molecule
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Re: Self Improvement [Re: Icelander]
#4196798 - 05/19/05 05:53 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Veritas, I strongly feel that we all have a very specific purpose in this life and that is what we call "being ourselves" or "the path". Often, we lose sight of the path and go for the short term fix, ascribing others' methods that never seem to really work for us.
What I want to know, is how do we recognize when we're on the path and when we're not?
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OldWoodSpecter
waiting
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Re: Self Improvement [Re: Icelander]
#4196813 - 05/19/05 05:57 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said: Thats all pretty cool.
yea, exept for drinking (hope you caught the edit) I used to go for a simple walk with a friend, and then return home all bloody (don't ask) and puked then the next day being talked to by some people I've never seen, later finding out I've met the the previous day
boy I was stupid
-------------------- I descend upon your earth from the skies I command your very souls you unbelievers Bring before me what is mine
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
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Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Self Improvement [Re: puwtrip]
#4196860 - 05/19/05 06:10 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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What I want to know, is how do we recognize when we're on the path and when we're not? _______________________________________________________________
Well maybe you can never get off the path. Even when you're floundering around, you're learning what works and what doesn't. That's where the unconditional acceptance comes in. Not trying to fix everything and just realizing you're right where you're supposed to be. Because you're there! When you're supposed to be somewhere else then you will find yourself there. And on and on. Who knows?
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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puwtrip
spirit molecule
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Posts: 203
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Re: Self Improvement [Re: Icelander]
#4196904 - 05/19/05 06:23 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Hmm that's interesting, you may be right.
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crunchytoast
oppositional
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Re: Self Improvement [Re: puwtrip]
#4197601 - 05/19/05 09:39 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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unconditional acceptance is just acceptance... if you accept everything, then you unconditionally accept it.
i remember some prof in college telling me 'unconditional positive regard is not the same thing as empathy!!' i always wonder if thats bullshit.
-------------------- "consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger
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Veritas
Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
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My understanding of empathy is that it means actually feeling what someone else feels (vs. sympathy which is understanding how they feel and feeling sorry they are feeling that way.)
Unconditional positive regard involves believing someone is essentially good no matter what behaviors they may engage in. (Love the sinner, hate the sin is a more well-known version of the same idea.)
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story
Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: Self Improvement [Re: Veritas]
#4199290 - 05/20/05 11:35 AM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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"Love the sinner, hate the sin"
Isn't being Christian about forgiveness?
From my experience many of today's Christians have forgotten that concept unless it suits their needs. For example, they forgive the person who recently joined the church or can otherwise benefit them financially as in a job situation
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
Edited by LunarEclipse (05/20/05 11:39 AM)
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crunchytoast
oppositional
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so veritas you're saying with self-improvement you were taking a 'hate the sinner through the sin' attitude toward yourself?
i was inebriated when i posted last- i suppose 'hate the sin love the sinner' is a good philosophy and is what was expressed by the distinction- although
<rant rant> this seemed like the last thing on the mind of the psychology profs i was learning this from- more like hate the sin, manipulate the sinner by exploiting their vulnerabilities- a bunch of nihilistic uncaring souls with lots of power over vulnerable people. only one end in mind: make people normal at any cost. anyone can be a psychologist, all it takes is a degree, not a good sense of right and wrong or particular insight into others. 50 years ago they were mindfucking homosexuals.
(hoping this post isn't too off topic)
-------------------- "consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger
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