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Offlinetomk
King of OTD

Registered: 09/22/04
Posts: 1,559
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
While we're at it, BDSM
    #4177025 - 05/15/05 01:37 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

:rotfl:

Alright, while we are having sex talk.  Anyone else get into BDSM stuff?  Pain, spanking, bondage, detailed role play, sadomasochism, hot wax, electricity, forced chastity, orgasm denial, submission, obedience, punishment, humiliation, etc.  (all consenual).

I personally think the 'subspace' many BDSM practicioners go for is a type of ego loss similar in some respects to psychedelics.  I also know that while I'm tied up and blindfolded I get synastesia more then on psychedelics, across my sense of sound and touch and vision, like they are all wired together.  It's a real trip to be tied up, unable to move, and to not be able to tell if a sensation, which you are seeing, is the music in the background or some sensation being applied to my skin.

:whip:


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"I am eternally free"

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InvisibleTHE KRAT BARON
one-eyed willie
Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 42,409
Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: tomk]
    #4177036 - 05/15/05 01:44 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Never got into straight up BDSM. My ex girl liked it when I pulled her hair really hard.. She always asked me to slap her ass really hard too.. hah.. I can't say I enjoy any form of BDSM personally on the submissive end. Well I guess orgasm denial... well not exactly denail but teasing can be really kinky and the end result is fuckin awesome.


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m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.

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InvisibleDrunkenCowgirl
Don't Fear theReaper

Registered: 08/05/04
Posts: 177
Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: THE KRAT BARON]
    #4177073 - 05/15/05 01:59 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

I too enjoy a good hair grab and pull while I'm giving head, spanking is not bad either. I haven't really experienced more in depth BDSM, but that really doesn't mean I wouldn't do it. I'll try anything twice, you may just have a shitty experience the first time... and that goes for everything from sex to new foods.

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Offlinetomk
King of OTD

Registered: 09/22/04
Posts: 1,559
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: THE KRAT BARON]
    #4177075 - 05/15/05 02:00 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

See, I'm wired like your ex-girl. I'm not even interested in sex where I'm not going to have some marks afterwards. I don't like making love. It's boring. Keeping in mind this sort of thing is consenual (consent is obtained in advance so that begging for it to stop doesn't end it) I like sex to be closer to rape then anything else. I like getting caned, hard. I like it when my partner gets turned on by me struggling and crying. I like it when I am to caught up in responding to painful stimulus to respond to the sex.

I think with most BDSM, you sort of have to start out as a submissive. You can't really be a dom until you have a good idea what goes into the submissive mindset.

If you have a lover who is approaching you about this sort of thing, you should realize that their desires probably run deeper into their psyche then they let on, especially if your relationship was previously vanilla (vanilla is what BDSM people call boring old making love with no frills). I bet your girl really wanted you to take over and hurt her even more when she told you this stuff. Talking to your partner openly about this could bring some of it out.

Cum control is great. You need to be tied up for it to work. After a while, you can't handle it any more, and will jack yourself off if not restrained. Cum control isn't just the awesome result. It's being jacked off just to the point of orgasm, then brought back there many times, each time getting closer, but not being allowed to cum. Then, your dick is put in a cock cage and you must sleep. Several times during the night, you are woken up, jacked off almost to orgasm, but not allowed to cum. You wake up the next morning, tied up, to a blowjob or a handjob that does not stop until you have cum twice, and then given 5 minutes before being made to cum again. Then, 10 more minutes, then a fourth orgasm. This lasts until you do not have anything left to shoot. It is both agonizing and bliss.

Creativity + sex + enough trust in a partner to let go of control fo the situation is great.


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"I am eternally free"

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InvisibleDrunkenCowgirl
Don't Fear theReaper

Registered: 08/05/04
Posts: 177
Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: tomk]
    #4177086 - 05/15/05 02:09 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Wow, thats pretty hard core. Much more involved then any of my sexual encounters.

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InvisibleAdden
I'm a teapot
Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc: Flag
Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: tomk]
    #4177089 - 05/15/05 02:12 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

I'd tie a girl up, spank her, pour wax on her, get her to the brink of orgasm and stop like fifty times until she finally gushed everywhere; I'd also do detailed roleplay, obedience, punishment etc.

Some girls like that shit, it'd be fun to play around with I'm sure.

Now where are they?!??!??!?!?!??!??! ;D

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Offlinetomk
King of OTD

Registered: 09/22/04
Posts: 1,559
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: DrunkenCowgirl]
    #4177097 - 05/15/05 02:16 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

The way you describe your sexual response, you sound like some types of BDSM might be for you.

It would be worth pursuing your intrest in this area. I'm not saying this as a guy trying to hit on you, but as a gay guy who seems to be wired in a similar way to you. I think bondage may help you have orgasms with your partners, because it does let you let go, which is what you said you had trouble with. If you do like hair pulling and stuff, you may also like spankings. If you find a good partner, he would take you through the ropes by gradually building up a spanking in such a way that it wasn't violent but hard enough to get the part of your brain that responds to hair pulling going millions of miles faster then just hair pulling gets it going.

One of the great things about BDSM is that there are a lot of people who will take the time to help you find yourself in this activity. There are people who will help you go through activities until you find what works for you, without exploiting you. This whole time, they are guiding you, but you have the ultimate power to end things if they get uncomfortable. If you get in touch with some of these people, you could open up direct contact with another aspect of your sexuality you have only experienced tangentially.

If I am right, and you are wired like me, this is the sort of thing that would give you so much bliss from sex. Once I started doing BDSM stuff, my fantasies about non BDSM stuff just stopped. Completely.

The best way for a non-dominant female to find a partner would be to contact other submissive females, who would then direct you to men who they have had good experiences with. Looking for men directly will lead to a bunch of guys who think that saying they will spank a woman but only do so because they think such a woman would be an easy way to get off. You would instead want to find an experienced partner who has initiated other people and who would talk to you in huge detail about your progress before and after each scene, so that you could grow into a role you feel best suits you.


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"I am eternally free"

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InvisibleTHE KRAT BARON
one-eyed willie
Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 42,409
Re: While we're at it, BDSM *DELETED* [Re: tomk]
    #4177100 - 05/15/05 02:17 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by mattzdope

Reason for deletion: ..



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m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.

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InvisibleTHE KRAT BARON
one-eyed willie
Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 42,409
Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: Adden]
    #4177103 - 05/15/05 02:21 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

s2dope said:
I'd tie a girl up, spank her, pour wax on her, get her to the brink of orgasm and stop like fifty times until she finally gushed everywhere; I'd also do detailed roleplay, obedience, punishment etc.

Some girls like that shit, it'd be fun to play around with I'm sure.

Now where are they?!??!??!?!?!??!??! ;D




Well bro.. Get yourself a ball of raw uncut and hit the club. I'm sure you will find a couple hot chicks that will want to get down any way you please. hah.


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m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.

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Offlinetomk
King of OTD

Registered: 09/22/04
Posts: 1,559
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: DrunkenCowgirl]
    #4177104 - 05/15/05 02:22 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

:lol:

I remember when my exboyfriend went manic (he was bipolar) and decided to start a porn company.  The model was in for a milking scene where he had to cum about 5 times in a half hour.  We were gonna shoot it the next day, and so I had to tie him to a chair and go between feeding him bonghits, taking bonghits of my own, sucking him off almost to the point of orgasm, without letting him cum, and watching until he started to get soft to start over.  This lasted all night.  He said it was experientially similar to a hippyflip by the start of the next day, and he wants me to repeat the experience with some MDMA and no focus on being ready for a porn shot the next day.  Boy, those days were rough.


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"I am eternally free"

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InvisibleDrunkenCowgirl
Don't Fear theReaper

Registered: 08/05/04
Posts: 177
Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: tomk]
    #4177111 - 05/15/05 02:26 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

I never really thought of myself as a submissive person. Your really making me think here, Tomk. I think before I persue anything like that I need to really figure out what I want. I wouldn't want to put myself in any situation that would make we want to shy away from sex, even with a "good partner" as you say. I think getting into that before I was mentally ready would freak me out alot. I grew up pretty sheltered and I really just entered the sexual world 2 years ago.

I will take everything you've said to heart though, alot of it makes sense. I just think I need to find out where I stand. It any of my ramblings make sense at all.

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Offlinetomk
King of OTD

Registered: 09/22/04
Posts: 1,559
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: THE KRAT BARON]
    #4177119 - 05/15/05 02:29 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

First of all, if your girl is doing stuff to try and draw your wraith, you are going to have to go gingerly. I'd suggest sharing these posts with her and asking her reactions. If she does have a thing for pain, and is not aware enough of it to seek out a good partner, she is going to end up in a very abusive relationship. Even if you aren't together with her, you should try and direct her masochistic sexual energy into a channel that will not get her harmed. (In BDSM lingo 'hurt' is what masochists want, but 'harm' is the bad stuff no one is interested in.) If she has this trait, you can help her channel it even if you aren't going to be the one hitting her.

May I ask if she was ever involved with things like cutting? Like would she cut herself as a response to stress? A lot of times, people who have a lot of masochistic sexual energy will cut to deal with it. These same people say that cutting is to BDSM like bad masturbation is to great sex. Just curious.


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"I am eternally free"

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InvisibleSkunk420
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Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 18,524
Loc: inside
Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: tomk]
    #4177125 - 05/15/05 02:34 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

I would love to live where you do,, people are so much more free,,

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Offlinetomk
King of OTD

Registered: 09/22/04
Posts: 1,559
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: DrunkenCowgirl]
    #4177133 - 05/15/05 02:39 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Alright. I have to go to bed because I have to work in 4 hours, but let me continue this conversation later.

You say "I've never really thought of myself as a submissive person."

What do you think of when you think of a submissive person? Maybe you have some stereotypes that are inaccurate. Maybe you think a submissive person can't be assertive, or has to accept things they do not want, or some other notion. There are lots of different ways to be submissive. I'm sexually submissive, but I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not to make someone else happy. I'm not going to act like I'm not intellegent to make some guy happy, or give him all my money and let him control it. At this stage, I would suggest you don't look inward, but rather look at your preconcieved notions about the BDSM world. Then, after cleaning out the preconceptions, you can look at yourself and find where or if you think you would fit. Right now, I think it would be bad for you to think about where you stand without first taking the time to look at how your notions of the BDSM spectrum compare with the reality of the situation.

Maybe having a dialogue on this will help you find where you stand. I would answer your PM's in confidence if there are things you are not comfortable talking with around all these people.


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"I am eternally free"

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OfflineArcanis
Shroom Wizard

Registered: 05/14/05
Posts: 54
Loc: California
Last seen: 18 years, 10 months
Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: Skunk420]
    #4177136 - 05/15/05 02:41 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

well this is some crazy shit up here. No BFSM for me. I do have hella fetishes thoug, like cheerleaders, and nice asses. LOL. Nah but this thing is pissing me off how I dont have a ranking. nobody loves me. what kinda craker jacker shit ish beezy up wit dat.


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Every great mage has to start somewhere with some herb. I choose Shrooms and Weed.

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InvisibleSkunk420
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Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 18,524
Loc: inside
Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: Arcanis]
    #4177139 - 05/15/05 02:45 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

I feel like I am outcast becuse I dont express myself enough..

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InvisibleDrunkenCowgirl
Don't Fear theReaper

Registered: 08/05/04
Posts: 177
Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: tomk]
    #4177142 - 05/15/05 02:46 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

I'm off to bed as well, but I think I might PM you tommorrow.
Thanks for all your advice Tomk.

I rated you Arcanis.

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InvisibleTHE KRAT BARON
one-eyed willie
Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 42,409
Re: While we're at it, BDSM *DELETED* [Re: tomk]
    #4177144 - 05/15/05 02:46 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by mattzdope

Reason for deletion: ..



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m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.

Edited by mattzdope (05/15/05 05:26 PM)

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InvisibleVvellum
Stranger

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 10,920
Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: tomk]
    #4177874 - 05/15/05 10:54 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

I think the leather and rubber fashion to be visually stunning as is the sight of someone tied up or in some other form of bondage. The actual sexual act, for me, doesnt do too much - I do like to be held down or tied up by my girl. I also like to dominate myself - but spanking, slapping, hair pulling, dirty talk, and general aggressiveness is far as I go - that's fulfilling enough for me. Really havent had the desire to go further, but I would be down with the right person.

I do respect you tomk for your sexual openness and experience. Far too many people are afriad of their bodies and mental desires.

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OfflineVulture
Pursuer ofWisdom
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Registered: 06/18/02
Posts: 3,546
Loc: SC
Last seen: 9 years, 13 days
Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: Vvellum]
    #4178083 - 05/15/05 11:39 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

my girl likes that shit. she likes to be choked a lot to the point of almost passing out. likes the hair grabbing...likes rape porn....all that shit.

:shrug: its fun


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Work like you dont need the money.

Love like you never been hurt.

Dance like nobody is watching.

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Offlinetomk
King of OTD

Registered: 09/22/04
Posts: 1,559
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: THE KRAT BARON]
    #4178895 - 05/15/05 03:33 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

mattzdope said:
We were totally in-love and the sex was aweseome and full blown emotional but she had what I would consider very fuckin odd quality's about her.. hah.. Yeah you mentioned things being boring. She stressed to me a few weeks after we got together that she NEVER wanted things to get boring between us (before we had gotten together and were just friends one night she told me that when things get boring between her and her lover that she tends to cheat). So I never let them get boring.. We would always explore new positions and situations.. Sex in the car in parking lots full of people in daylight, all over her house, my house, wherever we went (sinks,chairs,couches,floors,walls, all over the fuckin place) etc etc.. She liked the feeling that somebody could walk up and catch us at any time. Shit never got boring.

Yeah I am definately going to have a talk with her. Im really starting to think.. I totally ignored any hints she ever dropped to me. Well not ignored exactly but didn't act on them properly.

Any more input you have is appreciated man.




Alright. Here is a thought. Tell her you are going to try something new with her before the next time you fuck. Then, when she shows up, make her strip down to her panties. Grab her by the hair, hard, and pull her to the bed/couch/stage/whatever. Pull her face onto the bed by her hair and finger her through her panties for a while. Tell her that you want to spank her again, but that she has to earn it by being good. Take her clothes and hide them. This way, you can use the threat of kicking her out with only her wet panties on to make it so she will behave. Since pain is a reward to her, her punishment needs to not involve pain. After you make her really wet from fingering her, tell her to put her hands as far as she can go, and hold the position. Tell her not to move or speak until you are ready. Then leave and come to the shroomery and tell us about it. Keep an eye on her, and when she moves or talks, get mad. Grab her hair, pull it to your face, and say "I thought I told you not to talk bitch." Then, take her wet panties, rub them in her juice, and use it as a gag. Secure it with some tape, and put a dildo or something in her hand. Tell her that dropping the dildo is her way to let you know something is wrong, and watch out for it. Then, make her stay in position again sit back. Tell her that you don't feel horny yet. Today, you don't care at all about her sexual response, it's all about you. Make her wait again, and then start fucking her. Don't do any more foreplay and don't warn her first. When she responds tell her to sit still and shut up, then fuck her hard. Take your cock all the way out and ram it in really hard, several times. Do not warm her up or give her time to get used to it. If she makes eye contact, slap her (not to hard here, face slapping can cause harm), and tell her not to look at you while you are fucking you. Make her change into an uncomfortable position, which is hard for her to hold, maybe one where she has to hold her lips open for you, and then fuck her again. But, when she starts to move, yell at her for it. You told her to stay in position, and she better damn well do it. Fuck her for a while, and get her close to cumming. If she manages to stay still, tell her she has been good, but that you are bored with looking at her white ass. If she doesn't, make like you are dragging her outside, by her hair, and then tell her you will spank her and fuck her again, before kicking her out naked. Then, make her bend over a bed, and put her hands under some pillows. Get an implement, and start hitting her. Hit her fairly hard, and get her ass nice and red. If she struggles, well, thats ok. Try to make it hard enough so that she thinks about dropping the safekey, but not so hard that she actually has to. Either way, build up with the medium hard hits for a while, getti ng a little faster and harder with time, making sure not to hit the same spot over and over again. After a bit, you will notice a change in her reaction. This means the endorphins from the pain are starting to flood her head, so you can now hit her harder. Instead of keeping up a quick pace, start hitting her slow but hard. If her hand jerks back to rub her ass, this is good, it means you are getting to her. The proper response is to land the next stroke, hard, in the middle of the back of her thighs, and tell her you are going to hit her thighs until she gets her hands under control. Once she does, go back to hitting her ass hard. After about 15 hard swats, she should be done up pretty good, and you can start fucking her red ass or her pussy again. It doesn't matter which. But, make her stay in the same position you hit her in, and fuck her the same way as before until you cum. Do not let her cum. After you cum, make her suck your dick clean. Keep her close to orgasm, but tease her with it, don't let her cum. Tell you it's up to you when she cums, and then see what she is willing to do for the chance. You could say you want her to lick your ass, but she can only cum if she does a really good job, or whatever. The idea is to give her a task that is hard or humiliating that she will most likely fail at. Once she fails, tell her she doesn't get to cum yet. If she is staying the night, tell her to go to the bed and wait for you with her legs spread, and go about your day, checking in to make sure she is positioned like you say. Use her at night, again with no concern at all to her sexual response, and then let her cum. If she isn't, tell her next time you might let her cum, but that she has to agree to not cum until next time if she wants to sleep with you again.

Something like that is probably what she wants you to do when she teases you. Give her what she wants and then leave her wanting more. Depending on where you live, and your opinion on if she would be into it, you might even hand her her clothes and kick her outside without letting her get dressed first. You get the idea. Feel free to modify to account for your knowledge of what gets her off.

Have fun, man, and tell us about it.


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"I am eternally free"

Edited by tomk (05/15/05 03:39 PM)

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OfflineCherk
Fashionable
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Registered: 10/25/02
Posts: 46,493
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Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: tomk]
    #4178926 - 05/15/05 03:44 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Good god, I guess I'm more vanilla than I thought.


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I have considered such matters.

SIKE

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InvisibleColonel Kurtz Ph.D
What What?
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Registered: 07/22/04
Posts: 11,113
Loc: Shadow Moses
Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: tomk]
    #4179282 - 05/15/05 05:38 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Holy shit, there are some great ideas there! I really appreciate your posts, it's a nice insight into a world I never thought would be so fascinating at first. You're indeed an intelligent person who knows what is doing.

I find interesting that even tho I'm not really into BDSM I sometimes fantasize with dominant behaviours and have even talked about it with my g/f (who BTW, did cut her wraists a lot when she got stressed) but never got to it. Whe get all vanilla-like and then we just don't feel the need for it anymore :tongue:

We talked about rape fantasies and ties, we even got to the stage of deciding on "patito" as the key word...

I think I should talk to her now :grin:
Do you have any advice on how to proceed onto rape fantasies? Just wondering :laugh:

Oh, and 5 :mushroom2: for you my friend!! Rock on!!


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:whatwhat:

There's no better way to rock out than with your cock out!!

Edited by Deepman (05/15/05 05:45 PM)

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OfflinePrisonSong
Stranger

Registered: 01/15/05
Posts: 502
Last seen: 15 years, 11 months
Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: Colonel Kurtz Ph.D]
    #4179364 - 05/15/05 05:54 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)


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InvisibleColonel Kurtz Ph.D
What What?
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Posts: 11,113
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Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: PrisonSong]
    #4179400 - 05/15/05 06:02 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

No thanks


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:whatwhat:

There's no better way to rock out than with your cock out!!

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Offlineemptywisdom
simple being oflight
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Registered: 03/29/05
Posts: 2,107
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Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: PrisonSong]
    #4179406 - 05/15/05 06:04 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Interesting....

I'm a "love making" type myself. I've been studying the Kama Sutra, I rally get into extended sensual experiences.

But I will say. There are times when I get good and schwilly and love a heavy rough romp. I appreciate passion marks as much as anyone. I love to really feel the ecstasy of what's happening. But the rough road, while sometimes my experiences are directed that way, are never my initial intention.

I like to do things slow and soft and keep desire at a peak until the experience, well, peak's. Not that i'm apposed to intensity, I actually find this way to be the most intense.

this method is not for everyone, though. If you don't know what you're doing than going slow is going to enhance the embarrassment rather than the ecstasy.

Slow isn't even the right word, though. It' more like being thorough, caring, and gentle. While staying intense. It's like stretching out the joy while showing complete respect. I don't like being rough for the sake of being rough, but sometimes the energy of the moment will go in that direction.

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Offlinetomk
King of OTD

Registered: 09/22/04
Posts: 1,559
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: Colonel Kurtz Ph.D]
    #4179450 - 05/15/05 06:17 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

I would suggest building up to playing with rape-type scenes over a couple years at least.  Doing a rape scene before you have done other less intense scenes is sort of like doing acid before you have smoked pot, you likely won't be ready for it.

I'd suggest starting by talking to her.  Then, I'd do some bondage.  Maybe, at first, you should just tie her down and get her used to feeling.  Tie her up and use some nice feeling fabrics to stimulate the entirety of her skin.  Blow cold air all over her, tickle her lightly.  One thing that is really effective is to blindfold someone and tell them you are going to drip hot wax on them.  Then, grab an icecube and let the drops go over their skin.  It's fun to see how they react, and it really fucks with the bottom.  Just spend a couple of hours with her tied up and blindfolded touching her skin.  Take your time with it.  After a couple hours, every nerve in her body will be on fire and she will be so much more aware of her sense of touch.  You can use all sorts of stuff, cloth, fur, leather, blankets, etc.  One really cool feeling thing is to take a sheet and put it over her, then slowly pull it off.  It stimulates every nerve on the exposed skin to do this.  Put some clothspins on her nipples for a few minutes or twist them.  Then eat her out for a while or fuck her.  It might be a real headfuck if you spend a couple hours warming up her skin and talking about how you are going to fuck her like she hasn't been fucked before, and then taking her gently and making out with her and then making love to her while she is tied up and on fire from the nerves.  Or, gently making love to her but shove an ice cube up her ass right before you start fucking her.  If you want to keep the energy going, you can keep her tied up all night and do her again in the morning.

When you do BDSM, it's important to be really sure the bottom is comfortable.  If their leg hurts or arm gets sore, your attitude should be "thats certainly not an excuse to let you up yet, lets make that problem better so we can get back to it."  If she is sleeping in bondage and complains, listen to her and find a way to keep her bound but solve the complaint.  If she needs to get up and go to the bathroom, fine, but she doesn't need her hands free or her blindfold off to do that.  In other words, make sure all their needs are being met, but make sure they have no unnessisary freedoms.  If they need to stretch, free one hand at a time and let them, but stay in control. 

After your partner gets comfortable with letting go enough to trust you with bondage, then you can move on to hurting her.  At first, tell her what you are going to do, and then do it.  The important thing with pain and bondage is to be relentless but also allow them plenty of time to process it.  Ametuers should not be beating the shit out of each other.  Tell her you are going to hit her on her ass five times, hard, do it, then let her calm down and come down from it.  Once her breathing slows back down, tell her five more are coming.  If you notice she tenses up, then use fake strokes.  Swing, but do not make contact, then point out how tense she is and order her to relax.  Once she is relaxed, then you give her the next set, and calm her down.  You could increase each set, so it went like 4 hits, calm down, then 6 hits, then calm down, then 10 hits then calm down, then 15, then calm down, then 20, then bring her down.  The hits in the set could build up or the implements used could change i.e. start with hand, then a wooden spoon, then a ping pong paddle.

My belief is that, at least in a certain type of BDSM play, it's all about relaxation.  By continually being jostled between a relaxed state where they are ready to accept pain, humiliation, and whatever else, and a state where they are stuggling helplessly about it, they will become very very relaxed and blissed out.  :thumbup:

Other forms of play have different goals.  Some people (like me) like it when the pain is so bad that relaxation is impossible.  Rather then giving time to relax, relaxation is a sign that the sensory stimulus isn't intense enough, and so the electrodes on the nips or whatever are turned up.  This is more cathartic and less blissful.  In addition, there are types of play where the sub struggles to please the dom, etc.  I do not understand the motivation behind this subset as well, so I can't speak to it very much.  All are fun, but no matter where you want to end up, it's good to start with light bondage and sensation play, then move onto light bondage and learning to relax while accepting uncomfortable stimuli, otherwise the other forms of play are pretty brutal and not fun for anyone.

You should be aware that floating and subspace are two terms BDSM users talk about in regard to the euphoric chemical high your body gives you from doing this.  I think it's every bit as potent as psychedelics or pot.

On a personal note, I became interested in psychedelics and dissociatives after experiencing altered states during BDSM play.

I dunno, I don't like sex with women.  Talk to your partner and find out what they want.  Play around with it.  Let go of all the judeochristo crap engrained in your psyche about sex and be creative with it.


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"I am eternally free"

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Invisiblemarvoman
Registered: 04/26/05
Posts: 207
Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: tomk]
    #4179592 - 05/15/05 06:59 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Me and my girl just do it the normal lovey-dovey type way.

Am I boring?....

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Offlinetomk
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Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: marvoman]
    #4179632 - 05/15/05 07:10 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Yup. To me you are. That sort of sex just doesn't appeal to me at all. But, it's more important that you really enjoy what you are doing then that other people approve.


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"I am eternally free"

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Offlineemptywisdom
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Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: tomk]
    #4179640 - 05/15/05 07:12 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

it's more important that you really enjoy what you are doing then that other people approve.





:thumbup: :heart:


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InvisibleColonel Kurtz Ph.D
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Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: tomk]
    #4179641 - 05/15/05 07:13 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Wow, that is exactly what I was looking for, so many thanks!! I just talked to her about it and it seems she is willing to try some of your ideas (some others I didn't talk about 'coz I want to surprise her also).

It seems to me that your approach would be the wisest path, and we've been wanting to do some bondage for some time now. I don't want to hurt her in any way of course, so I'll make sure to be very careful while having a taste of the experience. I think that with your ideas it can be a great experience, and a very sensual one.

I find interesting the notion of being tied several hours or even the whole night, I once tied her up for less than an hour and it was great, I can only imagine spending "a couple hours warming up her skin and talking about how you are going to fuck her like she hasn't been fucked before, and then taking her gently and making out with her and then making love to her while she is tied up and on fire from the nerves".

I must leave now, but I thank you SO much, you just might have made our sex lives a lot better (I think she will love it, really) :heart:

Oh, BTW, I tried LSD before I smoked pot :grin:


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:whatwhat:

There's no better way to rock out than with your cock out!!

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Offlinetomk
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Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: Colonel Kurtz Ph.D]
    #4179695 - 05/15/05 07:29 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Be sure to report back with how it went.


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"I am eternally free"

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Offlineemptywisdom
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Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: tomk]
    #4179707 - 05/15/05 07:33 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

tomk said:
Be sure to report back with how it went.




This has been repeated multiple times.

You really want to hear some storys of rough sex, huh?


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Offlinetomk
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Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: emptywisdom]
    #4179730 - 05/15/05 07:38 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Yeah, I'm really at a stage where I am going to get turned on by stories of ametuer breeders tieing each other up with neckties and doing mild sensation play in a nervous way.  :rolleyes:

No.  Give me a little credit.  Actually, I am curious to hear how my advice plays so that in the future I could refine that advice to bring happiness to more people.  I'm also curious to hear what other people think of those experiences that haven't tried them that much.

If I wanted to get turned on by breeder rough sex I would watch some videos from www.insex.com, which is above my level, but not by much.


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"I am eternally free"

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Offlineemptywisdom
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Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: tomk]
    #4179768 - 05/15/05 07:47 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

no offense intended man, I just got a laugh out of it.

I actually appreciate your advice. It's not my style now, but I always like to have some ideas in mind that i've not tried. I'm huge on trying new things when the oportunity presents itself. Most likely I will never try anything precisley as you described, but the idea is in my head, and if this ever seems right for the situation, I'm totally down to go for it. See, for me, I'm gonna get mine, so in sex, it's allways about makeing the female happy. And in my experience, women like you to take your time and be respectfull, show confidence and be generous. I've never gone into an experience when they wanted me to treat them like a, um........, bitch. But If it happens, i'm down to go for it.


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InvisibleHELLA_TIGHT
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Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: emptywisdom]
    #4179796 - 05/15/05 07:51 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

I like to be stabbed with a fork in the neck while the girl fucks my ass with a dildo and she chews my dick til I cum blood.


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Offlineemptywisdom
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Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #4179805 - 05/15/05 07:52 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

HELLA_TIGHT said:
I like to be stabbed with a fork in the neck while the girl fucks my ass with a dildo and she chews my dick til I cum blood.




This was an understanding I had about you before you made this post.

:sun:


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InvisibleHELLA_TIGHT
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Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: emptywisdom]
    #4179975 - 05/15/05 08:34 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

fuck my ass with "the fist"



please? i'll clamp your nipples with my jumper cables while whipping you with my headphone wires.


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InvisibleHELLA_TIGHT
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Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: tomk]
    #4180353 - 05/15/05 10:01 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

tomk said:
:bitch:




bump for the cry baby


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InvisibleNoetical
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Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #4180414 - 05/15/05 10:16 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Lets post pictures and blur out our faces. Even though my Asian hooker can't speaky any english I'm sure she can operate a camera.

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InvisibleHELLA_TIGHT
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Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: Noetical]
    #4180574 - 05/15/05 10:54 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

haha


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InvisibleTHE KRAT BARON
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Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: emptywisdom]
    #4180739 - 05/15/05 11:40 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Thanks for all of the advice tom. Im going to sit down and have a talk with her next time I see her which should be this weekend depending on how the week goes. After reading that post I guess I definately was "vanilla". hah. That is some good shit you posted.

Today on the phone I hinted around to her indirectly I wanted to try new things with her.I said no leather suits or any shit like that but just some very weird shit. She kept drilling me for specifics. I just told her she is going to have to wait and see next time I see her.

So we shall see how things go.

On another note,

Quote:

emptywisdom said:
I like to do things slow and soft and keep desire at a peak until the experience, well, peak's. Not that i'm apposed to intensity, I actually find this way to be the most intense.




I know how that goes bro. Making love with the right girl is definately an awesome ecstatic experience. However in my experiences there must be emotion involved and a rubber is out of the question. Although I don't really have much experience seeing as Iv only made love to one girl (multiple times and the same girl who wants me to get all kinky n shit hah) and I am completely in love with her. Other chicks Iv been with that I had no emotion for and was wearing a rubber going slow was out of the question.


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m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.

Edited by mattzdope (06/23/05 11:06 PM)

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InvisibleHELLA_TIGHT
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Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: THE KRAT BARON]
    #4180814 - 05/16/05 12:13 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

watch out, tomk is a little girl and might rate you a 1 for posting in his threads.


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Offlinegrphish
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Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #4181584 - 05/16/05 09:01 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

it'd be bad if you try to go BDSM on your girl and she sais WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING YOU FREAK LEAVE ME ALONE AAAAAAAA

which is very likely to happen


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BoUnCy BaLL IS All SoUrCe OF LIGhT AnD HaPPiNeSS!!~! *bEEP* *beEP*

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InvisibleMushmanTheManic
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Registered: 04/21/05
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Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: grphish]
    #4188745 - 05/17/05 08:34 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Strike, dear mistress, and cure his heart

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InvisibleFreeker
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Re: While we're at it, BDSM [Re: MushmanTheManic]
    #4188748 - 05/17/05 08:35 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

i am tired
i am weary
i could sleep for a thousand years
a thousand dreams, that would awake me

:thumbup:

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