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InvisiblePsychoactive1984
PositiveCynicist
Male
Registered: 02/06/05
Posts: 3,546
Loc: California, Monterey Coun...
Bush to Sign 'No-Death' Bill
    #4118921 - 05/01/05 02:06 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Not sure if this has been posted or not.

http://www.nobeliefs.com/nodeath.htm

Bush to Sign 'No-Death' Bill

Friday, April 1, 2005; 6:05 a.m. EDT

WASHINGTON D.C.-- Terri Schiavo, the severely brain-damaged woman whose condition sparked an epic legal, medical and political battle that has gripped America, died yesterday, 13 days after her feeding tube was removed by the wishes of her husband and the orders of several courts.

News of her death prompted wailing and praying from the religious-right, who wanted to keep her alive, as both the president, George Bush, and the Vatican expressed their concern at the circumstances of Ms Schiavo's death.

Outraged over the courts decision to allow the removal of Terri's feeding tube, Republican congressmen met in a rushed congressional session to draft an emergency bill that would prevent the courts from ever again allowing the natural death of vegetative state brain damaged citizens.

George Bush, in full agreement with the provisions of the bill, promised to sign it as soon as Congress submits the bill to him.

The bill, called the "Terri Schiavo No-Death bill," will force all Americans who sustain partial brain damage (including permanent vegetative states, or PVS) to remain alive so long as science can keep them living, regardless of their will to die. This, in effect, would annul all living wills, once the bill is signed.

In order to meet the conditions of the bill, George Bush will sign an executive order to release 187 billion dollars for the design and building of medical centers throughout the country for the purpose of storing the bodies of brain damaged patients for as long as medical science can keep them alive. According to Senate Majority Leader and doctor Bill Frist, "Partially damaged brain victims should be able to live for dozens of years, perhaps as long as 200 years." Frist, a cardiologist, proved his medical ability last week with his God given and uncanny ability to diagnose patients suffering from brain damage by simply looking at a videotape of Terri and forming a conclusion, all without requiring a first-hand medical examination.

Frist, a coauthor of the bill, also disagreed with the word "permanent" in the traditional PVS label. According to Frist, "Only God and I know whether victims will remain in a permanent vegetative condition or not. From now on PVS will be deemed, 'Partially Vegetative State,' and the new centers will be called "PVS centers" (but to the religious-right insiders, they are called, "Eternal Tabernacles").

According to the bill, Every PVS center will be accompanied by a government priest to administer prayers everyday for the PVS victim's salvation. This will require a Department of Prayer-and-Salvation which will call for the recruitment of hundreds of government faith-based priests. There is rumor on the Hill that Randall Terry will head the department.

There is also a push among conservative Republicans to add an amendment to the Constitution that would make the No-Death bill a permanent Constitutional law of the land.

Democrat critics of the new bill claim that the results of this new law would overpower the U.S. budget and the money would be better spent on universal health care so as to prevent such conditions as PVS. But the religious-right leaders and the Vatican disagree, claiming that God and Bush should err on the side of life. House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, (a California Democrat and liberal) strongly objected and remarked, "If Bush wants to err on the side of life, what about the thousands of deaths that has occurred because of his illegal war in Iraq, which includes the deaths of innocent women and children?" Republicans upset by Pelosi's objection, had her promptly arrested and thrown in jail.

Concerned citizens called for Bush to explain the reasoning for this action. In a press conference Friday night, president Bush, who also suffers from PVS, said, "Don't worry, folks. Polls will show that 85.6% of the public will favor this law." A Gallup poll will be released next Sunday that will prove the president correct, White House officials said.

The Republican run congress promises to deliver the bill to the president by April 15th, so once Bush signs the bill, American citizens, the courts, and the Democrats will have to abide by the law. Dissenters will be prosecuted. The full penalty for disobeying the law would result in its dissenters undergoing a forced medical PVS procedure and a life long storage in one of the Eternal Tabernacles.


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"Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
"We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
"Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
-It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
-Substance over Style.
-Common sense is uncommon.

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Invisibledownforpot
Stranger
Male
Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 5,715
Re: Bush to Sign 'No-Death' Bill [Re: Psychoactive1984]
    #4119104 - 05/01/05 02:49 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

So basically we will have medical centers that "store" thousands of people in PVS? Sounds like some matrix shit, if we could harnest their blood for blood banks...


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http://www.myspace.com/4th25


"And I don't care if he was handcuffed
Then shot in his head
All I know is dead bodies
Can't fuck with me again"

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OfflineBrAiN
Art Fag
 User Gallery
Registered: 03/01/01
Posts: 6,875
Loc: Chocolate City
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
Re: Bush to Sign 'No-Death' Bill [Re: downforpot]
    #4119179 - 05/01/05 03:07 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

this is bullshit. fuck the federal gov't

this should be a state issue

that's all we need.. more federal laws governing morality

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Invisiblenewuser1492
Registered: 06/12/03
Posts: 3,104
Re: Bush to Sign 'No-Death' Bill [Re: BrAiN]
    #4119514 - 05/01/05 04:43 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

this should be a state issue

No. It shouldn't be a government issue at all.

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InvisibleRavus
Not an EggshellWalker
 User Gallery

Registered: 07/18/03
Posts: 7,991
Loc: Cave of the Patriarchs
Re: Bush to Sign 'No-Death' Bill [Re: newuser1492]
    #4119521 - 05/01/05 04:44 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Seriously, it's a family issue. Out of who should choose whether to pull the plug on someone in a coma, it shouldn't be the feds or the state government, or anybody else besides that person's family. The same applies for someone in a vegetative state.


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So long as you are praised think only that you are not yet on your own path but on that of another.

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InvisiblePsychoactive1984
PositiveCynicist
Male
Registered: 02/06/05
Posts: 3,546
Loc: California, Monterey Coun...
Re: Bush to Sign 'No-Death' Bill [Re: newuser1492]
    #4119541 - 05/01/05 04:48 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

:yesnod: Government needs to take a step back from instituting morality.


--------------------
"Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
"We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
"Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
-It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
-Substance over Style.
-Common sense is uncommon.

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OfflineSmallworlds
Trippin' fool -Merry Prankster

Registered: 03/12/05
Posts: 4,207
Last seen: 18 years, 5 months
Re: Bush to Sign 'No-Death' Bill [Re: BrAiN]
    #4120531 - 05/01/05 07:34 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

fucking republicans

:lol:


--------------------
Through the excercise of patience, one may learn humility..

Smoke plenty of green, and eat fungus!!!!
:peace::heart::slomo::gd_icon::gd_icon::gd_icon::slomo:


Trip Report

Edited by Smallworlds (05/01/05 07:43 PM)

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Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole

Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 9 months
Re: Bush to Sign 'No-Death' Bill [Re: Smallworlds]
    #4122259 - 05/02/05 05:39 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Hey geniuses, click the link. Washington News satire. April 1, 2005. Anything click here yet.


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OfflineRonoS
DSYSB since '01
Male User Gallery

Registered: 01/25/01
Posts: 16,259
Loc: Calgary, Alberta
Last seen: 1 year, 29 days
Re: Bush to Sign 'No-Death' Bill [Re: zappaisgod]
    #4122391 - 05/02/05 07:51 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Thank you...


--------------------
"Life has never been weird enough for my liking"

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OfflineSmallworlds
Trippin' fool -Merry Prankster

Registered: 03/12/05
Posts: 4,207
Last seen: 18 years, 5 months
Re: Bush to Sign 'No-Death' Bill [Re: zappaisgod]
    #4122529 - 05/02/05 08:57 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

zappaisgod said:
Hey geniuses, click the link.  Washington News satire.  April 1, 2005.  Anything click here yet.




I called it first, but I edited it out to see how many more ppl would believe it. :lol:


--------------------
Through the excercise of patience, one may learn humility..

Smoke plenty of green, and eat fungus!!!!
:peace::heart::slomo::gd_icon::gd_icon::gd_icon::slomo:


Trip Report

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InvisiblePsychoactive1984
PositiveCynicist
Male
Registered: 02/06/05
Posts: 3,546
Loc: California, Monterey Coun...
Re: Bush to Sign 'No-Death' Bill [Re: Smallworlds]
    #4125426 - 05/02/05 09:17 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

:shrug: It was good while it lasted.

Moral of the story is... be circumspect of the news source, and don't believe its true just because its written.


--------------------
"Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
"We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
"Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
-It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
-Substance over Style.
-Common sense is uncommon.

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Invisible1stimer
Religion=Rape
Registered: 11/18/01
Posts: 1,280
Loc: Amerika
Re: Bush to Sign 'No-Death' Bill [Re: Psychoactive1984]
    #4131499 - 05/04/05 06:30 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Moral of the story is... be circumspect of the news source, and don't believe its true just because its written.




Actually the moral of the story is to not post fake articles as if they are real. this thread should be disposed of.


--------------------
ash dingy donker mo gollyhopper patty popiton rockstop bueno mayo riggedy jig bobber johnathan pattywhacker gogboob t-shirt monkey.

There is such emotion in the distortion.

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OfflineSmallworlds
Trippin' fool -Merry Prankster

Registered: 03/12/05
Posts: 4,207
Last seen: 18 years, 5 months
Re: Bush to Sign 'No-Death' Bill [Re: 1stimer]
    #4131548 - 05/04/05 07:17 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

1stimer said:
Quote:

Moral of the story is... be circumspect of the news source, and don't believe its true just because its written.




Actually the moral of the story is to not post fake articles as if they are real.  this thread should be disposed of.




well....I don't know if I would go that far. You see, we're trying to add a little humor. It's a crusade like the one to end the war on drugs, except we're trying to end the war on humor. :thumbup:


--------------------
Through the excercise of patience, one may learn humility..

Smoke plenty of green, and eat fungus!!!!
:peace::heart::slomo::gd_icon::gd_icon::gd_icon::slomo:


Trip Report

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InvisiblePsychoactive1984
PositiveCynicist
Male
Registered: 02/06/05
Posts: 3,546
Loc: California, Monterey Coun...
Re: Bush to Sign 'No-Death' Bill [Re: 1stimer]
    #4132143 - 05/04/05 11:06 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

How did I post to suggest that they were real? Where did I imply the nature of the articles?

Right... I didn't.


--------------------
"Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
"We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
"Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
-It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
-Substance over Style.
-Common sense is uncommon.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole

Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 9 months
Re: Bush to Sign 'No-Death' Bill [Re: Psychoactive1984]
    #4133076 - 05/04/05 02:23 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Did you know it was satire when you posted it?


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InvisiblePsychoactive1984
PositiveCynicist
Male
Registered: 02/06/05
Posts: 3,546
Loc: California, Monterey Coun...
Re: Bush to Sign 'No-Death' Bill [Re: zappaisgod]
    #4133377 - 05/04/05 03:29 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

I kind of had to didn't I? :lol: Look at the site, and look at the section it's under.


--------------------
"Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
"We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
"Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
-It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
-Substance over Style.
-Common sense is uncommon.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole

Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 9 months
Re: Bush to Sign 'No-Death' Bill [Re: Psychoactive1984]
    #4133402 - 05/04/05 03:34 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Can't migrate from that page and the only indication is in the logo. The text is what clued me. "Only god and I know" That's Robertsonian. Frist isn't that stupid.


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InvisiblePsychoactive1984
PositiveCynicist
Male
Registered: 02/06/05
Posts: 3,546
Loc: California, Monterey Coun...
Re: Bush to Sign 'No-Death' Bill [Re: zappaisgod]
    #4133407 - 05/04/05 03:35 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Scroll to the bottom, click on "BACK".


--------------------
"Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
"We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
"Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
-It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
-Substance over Style.
-Common sense is uncommon.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole

Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 9 months
Re: Bush to Sign 'No-Death' Bill [Re: Psychoactive1984]
    #4133452 - 05/04/05 03:43 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Ok, it worked. I'll check it out.


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Offlinemr freedom
enthusiast
Registered: 02/25/01
Posts: 232
Last seen: 18 years, 10 months
Re: Bush to Sign 'No-Death' Bill [Re: Psychoactive1984]
    #4133463 - 05/04/05 03:45 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

One simply had to read all of it to understand that it was satire.

Though I find it interesting that once ms. chiavo died the president nor congress had no more legislation to press forward on the subject.

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