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rogue DMT elf
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Registered: 08/09/99
Posts: 16,381
Loc: Crawling on the floor...
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
    #4127378 - 05/03/05 01:06 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

i find myself getting into relationships, and evoking feelings for the sake of muse.  for the sake of inspiration. ever since i left my wife.

this discovery about myself has left me a bit dead to the world for a couple of days.  im not sure how horrible i really am.  but, i dont even have to look for relationships, they find me.  i am just being myself, and they find me.  emotions ebb and flow and i document them. 

i dont think im a bad person.  just a little disenchated every now and again about what it is i want from a  woman.  i know it exists.  but i am in doubt ill ever find it, or even see it when it shows up anymore.

i hope i do.


Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud



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simple being oflight
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Registered: 03/29/05
Posts: 2,107
Loc: Lemuria
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
Re: inspiration [Re: Todcasil]
    #4127602 - 05/03/05 02:07 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)


Sounds a little like you just need to learn a little more about yourself, women, relationships, and the world we exist in before you can feel comfortable getting into (I don't want to say more "meaningful" beacuse they are all meaningfull, I guess more powerfull mabey) relationships. You'r learning as much as you can about people with this aproach. This does not make you horrible. If anything it shows a bit of wisdom, in my opinion. I imagine there may have been things regarding the ralationship you had with your wife that you don't exactly want to re-live with someone else. One of the best ways to ensure this does not happen is to do what you describe. I think your approach of letting relationships find you is brilliant, when you search for them mistakes are almost a given. If you let things come to you, I feel, it's much easier to make to make un-biased choices and much easier to mold the relationship in a shape of your own design, simply because when you let them come to you they are not born of desire, and desire is a tricky motherfucker. It almost always makes us do dumb things.

I hope you can recognize whats right for you when it comes, the knowledge you are gaining now can only help with that.


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