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OfflineTodcasil
rogue DMT elf
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Registered: 08/09/99
Posts: 16,381
Loc: Crawling on the floor...
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
poopetry
    #4115019 - 04/30/05 04:49 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

"Pk"

feel it rise from
the corner of your eyes to the tip of your mind
drop it slowly
to the bottom of your tongue further down where it remained numb
fill it up
warmth and fuzz
energy
potentially...

see it drift from
the tips of your fingers to the symbols on the empty screen
close your eyes now
the words still scroll by like your heart does at blinding speed
fill it up
warmth and fuzz
im ready
for anything...


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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OfflineJacquesCousteau
Being.
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Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 7,825
Loc: Everywhere, Everytime.
Last seen: 5 months, 24 days
Re: poopetry [Re: Todcasil]
    #4115110 - 04/30/05 05:08 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Todcasil said:
"Pk"

feel it rise from
the corner of your eyes to the tip of your mind
drop it slowly
to the bottom of your tongue further down where it remained numb
fill it up
warmth and fuzz
energy
potentially...

see it drift from
the tips of your fingers to the symbols on the empty screen
close your eyes now
the words still scroll by like your heart does at blinding speed
fill it up
warmth and fuzz
im ready
for anything...




Hey mang... I really like the form of the first 4 lines of each stanza. Not big on where it goes after that... but it's very rare that someone can write such contrasting line lengths that have very obvious and decipherable rhythms.

:thumbup:


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OfflineTodcasil
rogue DMT elf
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Registered: 08/09/99
Posts: 16,381
Loc: Crawling on the floor...
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
Re: poopetry [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #4115120 - 04/30/05 05:11 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

thank you.

i doubt ill use the mushier parts in any song :smile:

too much invested in such silly words.

:heart:


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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OfflineJacquesCousteau
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Re: poopetry [Re: Todcasil]
    #4115133 - 04/30/05 05:14 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

You should post some recordings of your stuff, man... your lyrics always get me curious. :smile:


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OfflineTodcasil
rogue DMT elf
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Registered: 08/09/99
Posts: 16,381
Loc: Crawling on the floor...
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
Re: poopetry [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #4115135 - 04/30/05 05:15 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

haha

someday sir :heart:

someday when i feel good about it :smile:


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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OfflineJacquesCousteau
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Posts: 7,825
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Last seen: 5 months, 24 days
Re: poopetry [Re: Todcasil]
    #4115145 - 04/30/05 05:19 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

I understand completely, man... I am the same way. I write a LOT... but very rarely share, because my technical skills are no where near my writing skills.

If you'd be interested in some private exchanges for critique with another writer who's unsure of himself, I'd definitely be down for a little exchanging. Maybe we could even work on something together if we have similar styles... :smile:

If not, that's cool too. :wink:


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OfflineTodcasil
rogue DMT elf
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Registered: 08/09/99
Posts: 16,381
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Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
Re: poopetry [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #4115172 - 04/30/05 05:30 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

what instruments do you play?

:heart:


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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OfflineJacquesCousteau
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Re: poopetry [Re: Todcasil]
    #4115185 - 04/30/05 05:35 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

I'm a singer/songwriter... I play guitar and sing... my technical skills in both are hit and miss... meaning occasionally I can sing real well, but it's not a reliable thing.. my guitar skills are kind of sloppy, but I get by.


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OfflineTodcasil
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Registered: 08/09/99
Posts: 16,381
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Re: poopetry [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #4115217 - 04/30/05 05:44 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

i am with you :smile:

i have bit of confidence in my singing talent...  but my technical skills on teh guitar are being worked on at the moment.

i can play a bit of keyboard (nothing crazy) and can operate a drum machine with efficiancy.

perhaps some day youll get a stray PM with some recordings :smile:  id like to work with other people.

:heart:


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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OfflineJacquesCousteau
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Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 7,825
Loc: Everywhere, Everytime.
Last seen: 5 months, 24 days
Re: poopetry [Re: Todcasil]
    #4115308 - 04/30/05 06:08 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

That works... I'd love to do a little collaboration sometime. Hit me up if you ever decide you're interested.  :heart:


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InvisibleeMotionALLmotion
DivineeMotive....

Registered: 02/28/05
Posts: 759
Loc: The Symphony of Lights......
Re: poopetry [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #4116067 - 04/30/05 09:22 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

TodCasil, that was beautiful, and energizing....!  Never be ashamed of "mushy" words....  They came from YOU as an expression of YOUR creativity, there is never anything to be ashamed of in that....  Sing sing sing, like there is no tomorrow....!
.
JC, I have heard one song that you sent me, and you to should be more confident in your abilities....  Blistered skin is still on my desktop, and I listen to it every once in a while, as it is all that you sent me....
.
If you play or present your music with an expectation that no one will like it, you can never be dissappointed....  That is the way I have learned to accept other's opinions....  Some people will love your music, and be greatly appreciative that you have shared....  Some people will not like it, and move on....  Simple individual tastes.... 
.
Music is Universal....  In one form or another, everyone likes music - at least the ones with the sense of hearing....    Some poeple are just moved by only certain kinds, perhaps because it is what they "need" to move their spirits....    :heart:


:sun:


--------------------
Uni-VersALL      MasterPeace
eMotive  :sun: Divinity NowThere Infinity :sun:  eMelody


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