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Offlinewrestler_az
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so im watching my friends house while hes away....
    #4112091 - 04/29/05 07:27 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

in vegas on business. i invite a few friends over, including me and my bro it was a total of 8 people...3 girls and 5 guys, not a party just a few friends getting drunk and high and having a few laughs. one of the guys who showed up was a guy i met at the last gathering, myownreality....anyway, hes pretty cool but he brought a friend that was just begging for an ass beating later on last night.


everythings going fine, we are all having a good time....until some people started getting a little too drunk. i stayed mostly sober the whole night, though not on purpose...i was planning on getting pretty drunk also but i had to leave for a bit to pick up my bro from work and by the time i got back most of the booze was gone.....which kinda pissed me off a bit, but what can i do....cant say that if i was in their position i wouldnt have done the same thing, so it didnt bother me too much. plus i dont really drink that often anyway....

well, fast forward through most of the night to a really drunken hot tub scene with a girl who drank entirely too much for the hot tub to be considered a safe environment, and we get to where this dude really started to piss me off.  this girl, the really drunk one, was sitting on the edge of the hot tub ready to fall off the edge and bust her head at any moment. after trying to get her to stay inside the hot tub with limited success, i thought it a good idea for her to be done with the hot tub and drinking for the night. this didnt fly too well with this dude, cuz this chick made his dick hard and he was convinced i was just trying to be a cock blocker.....which is far from the case, this girl is my friend and i could see herself really injuring herself if she stayed stumbling around in her drunken stupor for too much longer.

so this dude, who drank most of my booze, tells me to "simmer down"...i was actually pretty damn calm up until this point although i was being pretty strict with my words....i just wanted her to go inside and pass out. after a brief argument it was agreed that she could stay inside the hot tub for a little while longer.

a little while passes and shes on the verge of passing out. i had to pull her head out of the water a few times, and again....this time a little more aggressive about it, i say shes done. so i help my friend inside, with this guy tagging along like a little puppy and shes gotta go to the bathroom.

we are standing around in the dining room while shes doin her business, and he strikes up a convo. this is how it went....

him: dude, i gotta talk to you about something. and i think you should sit down for this.
me: no, ill stand
him: well, you might get pissed off and want to beat my ass, so i think you should sit down.
me: well dude, now i really dont want to sit down and you better fucking start talking.
him: well, i just wanted to tell you now cuz if you found out later you might get pissed. you know, get it out in the open....anyway, i work for the NSA.

lol i just met this guy, and hes at some guys house he doesnt know drinking with a bunch of people he doesnt know and he just flat out says hes NSA....right buddy, your NSA :smirk:

me: lemme see your badge
him: i dont carry it with me all the time

lol....right buddy, first off even if you were NSA you wouldnt be bragging about that shit to some random stranger. but i humor him for a bit...i gave him the 20 questions routine for about 10 minutes and he just keeps throwing the bullshit at me. he was stationed in an airforce base in virginia where he was recruited by the NSA as a computers expert.

me: so why did they want YOU, cuz you dont seem like the NSA type...and you are not even old enough to be drinking that alcohol i bought. come on, explain this shit to me. what do you actually do for the NSA.
him: well basically i work with computers. most of the shit i do i cant legally tell you, but basically i hack computers for information using trojans and spyware. they wanted me cuz im really good with linux, and as for the age....they dont have anyone working for them that are over the age of 24. the NSA needs people who are agile and quick, and they only recruit people from the ages of 18-20, and they generally move on somewhere else like the FBI or CIA once they reach the age of 24.

L O FUCKING L!!! how fucking stupid do you think i am. now hes really starting to piss me off. people who think they can just flat out LIE to me like this are exactly the kind of people i have been working on weeding out of my life. even after i called him on his bullshit he just keeps making excuses and coming up with more bullshit.

our little convo was interrupted by some loud crashing noises coming from the bathroom. shes got the shower on, door locked, and not responding to my calls. even when the bathroom door locks, it doesnt really lock....a quick hard shove and it opens right up with out any damage to the door. shes laying in the tub with the shower on. she knocked the shower curtains down and ripped the towel bar thing off the wall. shes crying, mumbling some incoherent drunken garble as i turn off the water and see if shes ok. she is fine, shes just embarrassed.

i help her out of the tub, with little NSA boy standing by the door watching....shes crying like a baby, hugging me and told me to shut the door. i turn to homeboy.... (he thinks i was cock blocking before....lol. now im pissed and just looking to egg him on) dude do you mind? we need a little privacy here :grin:

so he shuts the door like the good little NSA soldier that he is would. shes really drunk and really embarrassed. shes crying and im just telling her that everythings all right, its ok, we'll just get you in some dry clothes, get you in my friends bed and let you pass out. i made sure i was talking loud enough for him to hear me as im sure he was standing right outside the door listening....and probably jacking off.

we were in the bathroom for about 30 minutes, and once i got her calm enough to where she felt confident enough to go back out into the house we did. i help dry her off (again, egging on the little NSA homeboy.....this dudes like 19 120 lbs and too scared of me to actually try to start anything....so this is just all in good fun now :grin:) we sit on the couch, and hes talking about how she really needs to get out of those wet clothes, into something more dry....thinking that hed be the knight in shining armor to help out this damsel in distress im sure. i turn to him, and i say....ya, you know thats a really good idea. why dont you go back outside to the hot tub and tell this other girl to come in and help her friend get dressed. if i only had my camera, you should have seen this guys face. classic :grin:

so she comes in, and they go to my friends room. dude trys to apologize....

him: man look, we really need to talk
me: again? what the fuck for this time? wait, i know....youre not really NSA. youre part of some top secret underground agency with no name that needs my help with a matter of national security. cool man, im in..can my codename be chodeboy?
him: no, i AM NSA (still feeding me the same bullshit) i knew you would get pissed off.
me: wait, hold up a sec. you KNEW i would get pissed off, and you went ahead and told me that shit anyway? are you TRYING to get me pissed off. i get right up in his fucking face...cuz you are doing a damn good job. you need to shut the fuck up, right now.
him: but something yadda yadda yadda scooby dooby doo....
me: dude, you really NEED to shut the fuck up.
him: bla bla bla yadda thingamajig bubble gum space pirates

me: dude, you need to leave.

he gets up, you know what. youre right. i do need to leave.
me: so leave
him: cuz if i stay its not gonna be pretty
me: so fucking leave
him: poopy poopy doo doo im the scatman

enters myownreality.....he packs up his spy and leaves. drunk girl is passed out, and theres one girl left scrapping some resin out of a pipe. so i leave them while i take my bro home. i come back and pass out.


and to top it all off, i still never got drunk. drunk people piss me off when im sober.


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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OfflinePrisonSong
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Registered: 01/15/05
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Re: so im watching my friends house while hes away.... [Re: wrestler_az]
    #4112127 - 04/29/05 07:46 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

so i was at this party last night, it was okay. buncha grown ups. anywayz, this girl and i wuz in the hot tub and this weirdo comes up saying something about my girl hitting her head or something. YEAH total cock blocker, this girlz super into me. anyway, so i tell him im NASA and show the creds, he backs down and i gits the girl. i think he threw up or something on some chick.....

hehehe.

ack im bored.

eh, in situations like that, its best to live by "insert power bomb here" and in the case of your tale,....here, here, here, over there, definitely here AND......here.

-ps.


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Offlinewrestler_az
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Re: so im watching my friends house while hes away.... [Re: PrisonSong]
    #4112140 - 04/29/05 07:52 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

heh, ya....dude was just really pissing me off. not like, i wanna beat his ass pissed off (well, i kinda did want to, but not to the point where i actually would) just more of the you are a dumbfuck and you need to stop opening your mouth cuz you are annoying and stupid as hell pissed off.


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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OfflineBrAiN
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Re: so im watching my friends house while hes away.... [Re: wrestler_az]
    #4112162 - 04/29/05 07:59 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

hahaha NSA doesnt recruit a bunch of 19 year old drug addicts... trust me i've tried

ppl that work for NSA aren't even allowed to say they work for NSA and get pissed off if you mention it or find out


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Offlinewrestler_az
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Re: so im watching my friends house while hes away.... [Re: BrAiN]
    #4112174 - 04/29/05 08:02 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

BrAiN said:

ppl that work for NSA aren't even allowed to say they work for NSA and get pissed off if you mention it or find out




my thought exactly....i havent laughed so hard in a long time...that shit was just ridiculous


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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InvisibleLetto
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Registered: 12/13/02
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Re: so im watching my friends house while hes away.... [Re: wrestler_az]
    #4112244 - 04/29/05 08:29 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

So what's the difference between the National Security Agency and the Department of Homeland Defense? Same exact thing?


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Offlinewrestler_az
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Re: so im watching my friends house while hes away.... [Re: Letto]
    #4112248 - 04/29/05 08:31 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

i dunno....


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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OfflineBrAiN
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Re: so im watching my friends house while hes away.... [Re: wrestler_az]
    #4112273 - 04/29/05 08:42 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

homeland is more for anti terrorism specifically..

NSA is more CIA-ish


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Offlinewrestler_az
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Re: so im watching my friends house while hes away.... [Re: BrAiN]
    #4112294 - 04/29/05 08:49 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

isnt the NSA a bunch of washed up has beens these days? from what i know about these matters (which is very little) is that the NSA is basically getting a piggy back ride from the CIA, which funds them 100% or there abouts.


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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InvisibleHeavyToilet
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Re: so im watching my friends house while hes away.... [Re: wrestler_az]
    #4112304 - 04/29/05 08:53 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I didn't even know what the NSA stood for.

But yeah, you should have cracked some skulls.


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InvisibleBoom
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Re: so im watching my friends house while hes away.... [Re: wrestler_az]
    #4112310 - 04/29/05 08:54 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Good story.  Dealing with drunk people is fun, if they are cool.  Drunk dickheads suck :thumbdown:  That "NSA" fellow was probably going to rape her anyway.

Nice move pissing him off bout that girl by the way :lol:


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Offlinewrestler_az
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Re: so im watching my friends house while hes away.... [Re: Boom]
    #4112320 - 04/29/05 08:57 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

ya this girl is a pretty good friend of mine....there was no way in hell he was gonna do a damn thing with her being as drunk as she was. hes lucky he didnt try any harder than he was, cuz he would have wound up out in the middle of the desert somewhere in a not so conscious state.


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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Invisibleblissedout
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Re: so im watching my friends house while hes away.... [Re: wrestler_az]
    #4112366 - 04/29/05 09:12 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

wrestler_az said:
him: but something yadda yadda yadda scooby dooby doo....
me: dude, you really NEED to shut the fuck up.
him: bla bla bla yadda thingamajig bubble gum space pirates

me: dude, you need to leave.

he gets up, you know what. youre right. i do need to leave.
me: so leave
him: cuz if i stay its not gonna be pretty
me: so fucking leave
him: poopy poopy doo doo im the scatman




:lol: :rotfl:
That is some funny shit!


Great story, man! :thumbup: :grin:


--------------------



:murray:


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Offlinewrestler_az
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Re: so im watching my friends house while hes away.... [Re: blissedout]
    #4112387 - 04/29/05 09:24 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

ya, that quote pretty much describes the situation that night.....god i just wanted to break his jaw just out of principle alone....i think im done drinking with strangers for a while.


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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OfflineMyOwnReality
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Re: so im watching my friends house while hes away.... [Re: wrestler_az]
    #4113642 - 04/30/05 03:56 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

No comment. The part about NSA is probably right, knowing scott, but thats not exactly how I remember it. We did drink a whole bunch of vodka, and you got a decent amount too (it should be noted that we brought the vodka), and to be fair to scott I drank more of the budwieser than he did(I had two or three, he had one). Scott was drunk, you appeared to be drunk, I was drunk, both of your friends were drunk, only your bro was sober. BTW what happened when I came back after getting rid of him and we were watching trainspotting? I remember watching the part where they sold all the H but everything gets fuzzy after that... Scott did embaress me because his manners and social manuevering were totally fucked, I'm definatly not gonna bring him to any body's house again, but you really need to control your anger bro. You know that I have nothing but love for you, but you were getting down right hostile, and that shit aint good for nobody. I'm not sure why you are so prone to anger, but I can say that everything was blown way out of proportion. Man if you ever need someone to talk to about some deep down to the ground shit I'm always here for you, you got my personal 24 hour hotline number. Unlike my dumb ass friend you can count on me to be straight up and real with you, porque, yo no estoy un mentiroso(liar). Be safe man, be cool.-Much Love
-MOR


--------------------
www.youtube.com/morstories


Edited by MyOwnReality (04/30/05 05:12 AM)


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Offlinewrestler_az
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Re: so im watching my friends house while hes away.... [Re: MyOwnReality]
    #4113647 - 04/30/05 04:03 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

you know, you are right.....and it is something im working on. its a tough issue to tackle. my anger stems from many places, all of which i am aware of. and i have gotten alot better at dealing with it lately.....tell you what, had this happened a week prior to the gathering your friend would have gone home in a fucking ambulance instead of your car. and no, i was not drunk....i was pissed. may as well be the same thing for me. i had a total of 3 beers....then what ever amount of that bloody marry mix....anyway, im not trying to justify my actions, and neither should you his.....when you get right down to it he was just giving me some very freaky vibes, and some day hes going to piss off the wrong mother fucker and really get whats comming to him. do not bring him around me.....ever


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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Offlinegrphish
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Registered: 04/01/02
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Re: so im watching my friends house while hes away.... [Re: MyOwnReality]
    #4113649 - 04/30/05 04:06 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

^^
if someone asked me if i needed to talk about some 'deep down to the ground shit' i'd stab their face open


--------------------
BoUnCy BaLL IS All SoUrCe OF LIGhT AnD HaPPiNeSS!!~! *bEEP* *beEP*


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Offlineemptywisdom
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Re: so im watching my friends house while hes away.... [Re: grphish]
    #4113654 - 04/30/05 04:11 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

:nonono:

brilliant


--------------------


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OfflineNarcotic
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Re: so im watching my friends house while hes away.... [Re: grphish]
    #4113657 - 04/30/05 04:13 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Haha.. similar situation happened a couple weeks ago. The drunk dumbass ended up getting KO'd after 3 swings and falling flat on his back off a 4 foot porch  :thumbup:

Only draw back, I broke 2 metacarpals hitting him  :thumbdown:. If I was sober I wouldnt have, oh well the douchebag deserved it.


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OfflineTodcasil
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Re: so im watching my friends house while hes away.... [Re: Narcotic]
    #4113680 - 04/30/05 04:53 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

this is the craziest thread ever.


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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