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Offlinelucid
Jack's AlteredConsciousness

Registered: 03/29/03
Posts: 6,319
Loc: up on the bidet
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
Motivation n Lust for life, can it be learnt ?
    #4084593 - 04/22/05 12:54 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

As some of u might remember me, I've had severe depression
n panic attacks for 2 years n 3 months after a single shroom
trip. Now, for the first time in years I have a job oppertunity,
but I'm still severely depressed (cry often, no interest,
feelings of utter doom and despair) and have BAD panic attacks.
For those who havn't seen my older posts, I've tried everything
from meditation (which I've been doing for the past 15 years
anyways) to medication to Therapy to supplements, to
Hypnosis, to exercise (which I've been doing also for 14 years),
socializing, read countless self help books, to...you're not
gonna believe this one...exorcism :crazy: ...
Now, I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to do this job I've gotten and
want to get out of this circle of suffering and pain
(I also have chronic unexplainable excruciating burning/freezing
sensations all over my body constantly - no doc has been able
to figure this out). I'm terrified that I won't be able to
do this job n I'll get fired (this happened to me last year
- panicked so much I got fired in 4 days). I've tried to read
up to improve my skills (Java programmer) but I feel no interest
at all in the subject...also I find myself reading the same
line over n over but it just doesn't register, i.e. I have no
clue what I just read. Self talk ("I can do this" etc) seems
to be counter productive and only interferes in concentration
and makes me panic even more. I have a chance here and I don't
want to blow it...if that happens I don't know what I'll do...
I fear the worst.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated :sun:
btw, please feel free to PM me and I'll give u my
IM chat username (Yahoo, MSN, or AOL).


--------------------
"no-mind un-thinks no-thought..."


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OfflineGomp
¡(Bound to·(O))be free!
Male User Gallery

Registered: 09/11/04
Posts: 10,866
Loc: I re·side [primarily] in...
Last seen: 2 months, 2 days
Re: Motivation n Lust for life, can it be learnt ? [Re: lucid]
    #4084648 - 04/22/05 01:13 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

""I fear the worst. ""

Fear not. For the worst is you.

let's say for a moment, you and me think magic in the form of putting spells on people, was possible, if you then was evil, living your life, making others feel bad, and ran low on ideas on how to scare the shit out of someone and have theme live in total misery...
would it have been an easy way, just to put a spell, having their worst innermost terrifying fears, come true on them?

and if then seduced by this spell, how would one get out/break it?

believe not what you believe, as instant as the obvious, you will always be whatever you think you are?

Forget all words, you know by an aim that guides action! (intentions) :wink:


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 93,974
Loc: underbelly
Re: Motivation n Lust for life, can it be learnt ? [Re: lucid]
    #4084665 - 04/22/05 01:17 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Hi Lucid, :heart: I highly recommend the book. Prescriptions for Happiness, by Ken Keyes Jr.  It is in a very simple format. Even with the difficulties you have in reading, this should be very easy. It's quite short. I suggest reading it as a meditation. This book helped me to almost completely change my life. Including my chronic anxiety which is very much better and getting better all the time. It can work fast somtimes.

Take on one type of very simple breathing exercise. Like 5 breaths in hold for 5, then release for 5 or more. Exhaling is relaxing, inhaling is energizing. This can be done all day at your job or interview.

You can get this job Lucid. If that's what you want, I hope you get it. Still if you don't; don't think the game is over. It ain't. Get attached in a loving way to yourself and don't relie, on the outside events to make you happy or sad. :heart:

I'm pulling for you brother. :heart:  :laugh:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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OfflineAmber_Glow
Sat Chit Anand

Registered: 09/02/02
Posts: 1,543
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
Re: Motivation n Lust for life, can it be learnt ? [Re: lucid]
    #4084729 - 04/22/05 01:32 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Meditation and exercise are both good things to help you feel better, and I see you already have those bases covered.

You also need to focus on what you are putting into your body. Do you use any sort of drugs a lot? Alcohol, pot, caffeine, etc.? Is your diet up to par? I find that I feel a lot better when I am eating healthy, especially eating predominantly fruits and veggies.


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
jiggy
Female User Gallery

Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 7,469
Loc: Heart of Laughter
Re: Motivation n Lust for life, can it be learnt ? [Re: Gomp]
    #4085207 - 04/22/05 04:01 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Cooooooool perspective gomp. It's amazing how self hypnosis works to cast our own self under spells.

Lucid, you said you tried working with hypnosis. Can you share with us what method the practitioner used, I mean, what he worked on with you. did he help you find your own source programming and help you to reprogram it to be in love not fear?

Note where and how many of your comments come from fear in your post.

I know fear, to be a state of "love in lack" or restriction. To refill yourself, to be able to full-fill yourself, space has to open up for love to pour in or grow out of your compressed core to be realized. But with ideas, thoughts and beliefs like yours, they aren't allowing for any room to open up.

Sounds like being in a tight shell or suit. Sounds like you could use a good cracking up to bust the shells. Do you laugh  much, see the humor in life or do you tend to take things including yourself very seriously? Look at these phrases, "I busted out laughing"" "I Burst out with laughter" "the comedienne had me bursting at the seems" There is something to cracking up and cracking and a good crack up for relieving the pressure we put on ourselves.

Someone here recently wrote that when we crack is when the light shines through. And in that light we find ourselves and our way.

What do you think about the wisdom of Yoda? He said there is no such thing as trying. There is only doing or not doing. Does that mean anything to you?

Trying begets the experience of trying.

Wanting begets the experience of wanting.

Allowing for begets the experience of being in allowance, more afforded for and wealthy states.

Even to say or think, "I can do it!" isn't the same as actively doing it. "I can do it" has an opposition and by highlighting one in affirmation you affirm the existence of the other- I can't do it.

The action of "Doing" in itself, creates the vortex pulls that draw in more energy that become motivational pushes.

Just some thoughts since you asked for them. :heart:

Nice how Ice said he was pulling for you as in "pulling you out of your tight shell" energetically speaking. Sweet.


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.


Edited by gettinjiggywithit (04/22/05 05:07 PM)


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
jiggy
Female User Gallery

Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 7,469
Loc: Heart of Laughter
Re: Motivation n Lust for life, can it be learnt ? [Re: lucid]
    #4086038 - 04/22/05 08:36 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

This came in my mail. It's a different look at fear then the one I gave. I thought to share it here as it may resonate with you and have some applicable use or meaning for you.


Quote:

"But what is fear? Nothing more or less than the negative use of
faith... faith misplaced; a belief in two powers instead of one."
~Ernest Holmes




--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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Offlinelucid
Jack's AlteredConsciousness

Registered: 03/29/03
Posts: 6,319
Loc: up on the bidet
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
Re: Motivation n Lust for life, can it be learnt ? [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #4086045 - 04/22/05 08:38 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

I love this forum :heart:
I get such wonderfully insightful feedback from it :sun:
To answer the question about hypnosis, a friend of mine
tried to hypnotize me (who's very close to me and knows
of my problems and what I'm trying to achieve), but it
didn't go that well. Then I tried TONS of hypnotic audio
files downloaded from the Net (including NLP sessions).
I have about 50 sesions on my hard drive !
they're all specifically geared towards depression, anxiety,
self esteem, change, motivation etc.


--------------------
"no-mind un-thinks no-thought..."


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
jiggy
Female User Gallery

Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 7,469
Loc: Heart of Laughter
Re: Motivation n Lust for life, can it be learnt ? [Re: lucid]
    #4086080 - 04/22/05 08:52 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

How bout it! I love the insight that comes from out of this board too. S&P rocks!

he he he anyway,

There's that word tried twice in that short post. Looks like we are dealing with Resistance here. Remember I brought that up in your burning sensation post regarding how resistance causes friction which causes burning and heat (related to your energy body system)

Lucid, lets put some collective thought into how this resistance is serving you as it is serving you with something of value to you or you wouldn't have it. If we can figure out what it is you use it to bring to you then we may be able to find a more pleasant replacement to achieve the same goal.

You know you way better then I do. I'll give some general possibilities some thought and PM you with them. :heart:

Oh and I really was curious to know, what is your experience with humor in life? Do you mostly take things and yourself seriously? That question is more so related to my own people study. I just ask because all your posts are serious and was wondering if you are the same off the board.


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.


Edited by gettinjiggywithit (04/22/05 08:53 PM)


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InvisibleJellric
altered statesman

Registered: 11/08/98
Posts: 2,261
Loc: non-local
Re: Motivation n Lust for life, can it be learnt ? [Re: lucid]
    #4086734 - 04/23/05 12:16 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

As Nike said..

Just DO it.

Simplistic? Yes. You fill in the details and get it done.
If you don't want the position then simply do nothing.


--------------------
I AM what Willis was talkin' bout.


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OfflineBloodNOil
Captain Zeep
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Registered: 10/09/03
Posts: 1,020
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
Re: Motivation n Lust for life, can it be learnt ? [Re: Jellric]
    #4087252 - 04/23/05 02:50 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

The worst that can happen is the job won't work out.

The best that can happen is you'll be happy.

Take the chance.


--------------------
It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!


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OfflineShroomerious
OO
Male

Registered: 07/27/03
Posts: 534
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
Re: Motivation n Lust for life, can it be learnt ? [Re: lucid]
    #4088730 - 04/23/05 04:29 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Give it a shot man. Just try. As bloodnoil said, the worst that can happen is to have to search a bit more for another job. I too, have a lot of the problems you mentioned you have and a bit more. People often say to me :"snap out of it man" but you know that this can't just happen. You need to take it step by step. For know, don't bother your mind with any other concerns you may have. Just wake up in the morning, see a small episode from a nice comedy maybe? a happy song? something to fix your mood and go to keep yourself a bit busy in work having already planned something a bit interesting for the evening, small things that make you smile. There is no need to worry about the job really. You'll have to find what your problems are, make a list and pick one, anyone you want and solve it. Then the next one and so on. Believe me I know how hard it is. Oh, and try to get to bed quite early! It helps me, I don't know why but for some reason I am most prone to anxiety attacks late in the night. Keep yourself occupied. If you do that for say a month, you will see big improvement. And when you don't have what to do, exercise so you could be very tired and sleep like a bird lol. I am sorry if what I am saying you have heard before, I'm just trying to help. And about the job, what works for me is the good old slogan of Nike...Just Do It!


--------------------


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OfflineGrav
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Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Loc: Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: Motivation n Lust for life, can it be learnt ? [Re: Shroomerious]
    #4089501 - 04/23/05 08:53 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

have you tried excercise?
i feel great about myself after an hour at the gym or a long run.

for me, negativity comes in the form of low self-esteem. i feel like i am worth less than another person... i feel guilty of not being something better than i am. this feeling doesnt just go away, you have to fight it with deliberation and motivation. it seems like the negativity is you, but it's something that is meant to pass

good luck with your job
keep your head up


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InvisibleinfidelGOD
illusion

Registered: 04/18/02
Posts: 3,040
Loc: there
Re: Motivation n Lust for life, can it be learnt ? [Re: lucid]
    #4090648 - 04/24/05 03:38 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

I've had severe depression n panic attacks for 2 years n 3 months after a single shroom trip.




go on another shroom trip. relive the experience. confront what happened on that shroom trip. be mindful of everything you experience. you just might discover the source of the problem.


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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Re: Motivation n Lust for life, can it be learnt ? [Re: infidelGOD]
    #4090660 - 04/24/05 03:46 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

go on another shroom trip. relive the experience. confront what happened on that shroom trip. be mindful of everything you experience. you just might discover the source of the problem

That is the worst advice I have heard here in six years. He should confront that his delicate brain chemistry was upset by repeating that which caused the imbalance? Please offer no more "help" of this kind!


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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InvisibleinfidelGOD
illusion

Registered: 04/18/02
Posts: 3,040
Loc: there
Re: Motivation n Lust for life, can it be learnt ? [Re: Swami]
    #4090676 - 04/24/05 03:59 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

I forgot to add: double the dosage this time!  :mushroom2: :mushroom2:


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InvisibleJellric
altered statesman

Registered: 11/08/98
Posts: 2,261
Loc: non-local
Re: Motivation n Lust for life, can it be learnt ? [Re: lucid]
    #4090750 - 04/24/05 04:47 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Lucid, I will freely give you the key that will unlock your cell door..I highly doubt you will dare to accept it, but here it is:

Control your inputs.

I will never address your situation again.
I hope you plot a sound course for your life. Just DO it.


Edited by Jellric (04/24/05 04:53 PM)


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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Re: Motivation n Lust for life, can it be learnt ? [Re: infidelGOD]
    #4090771 - 04/24/05 04:59 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Well, why didn't you say that the first time?


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 93,974
Loc: underbelly
Re: Motivation n Lust for life, can it be learnt ? [Re: Swami]
    #4091016 - 04/24/05 10:21 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Swami said:
go on another shroom trip. relive the experience. confront what happened on that shroom trip. be mindful of everything you experience. you just might discover the source of the problem

That is the worst advice I have heard here in six years. He should confront that his delicate brain chemistry was upset by repeating that which caused the imbalance? Please offer no more "help" of this kind!




Worst advice in 6 years? You're just not paying attention Swami. :grin:

Actually doing that with a therapist or wise and worldly shaman might work. I would NOT do this alone for obvious reasons. :thumbdown:

I would much more recommend doing some XTC in a controlled setting. Often this can put things right after a traumatic experience. I know this from experience. It has and is being successfully used in delayed stress and other applications in therapy. :heart:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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