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OfflineMitchnast
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Re: Help me deal with egocentrics please [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #4083085 - 04/21/05 09:40 PM (18 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

"The thing is, I couldn't stop myself from judging them and how self-centered they were. I was starting to think things like "so here we have a homo-egocentrus specimen, it is characterized by the fact that it is submerged in the linear illusionary time composed of past and future, in which the eternal Now moment is neglected and forgotten."




you anylitically categorized them as different from yourself
dismissed their existances as trivial and false,
and did so pathologically.

i think you have identified yourself as perhaps more your own definition of ego-centric then them.
an identification in itself made from an ego centered perspective. identifying yourself in relation to "other" periferals.

and how to deal with them,

Quote:

"Sometimes i feel these people are trying to show-off something about themselves, like if they were trying to impress me or something. And other times i just feel that they need someone to know about their existence and their life, like if they need a witness to their existence so that they don't feel so empty inside and so that their life can take some sort of meaning."




hmm, if thats true, then how should I feel about you? .... is what i would say if i wanted to look at this from an ego-centered position. irony is, it's the question you're asking about them.

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OfflineRoseM
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Re: Help me deal with egocentrics please [Re: exclusive58]
    #4083246 - 04/21/05 10:37 PM (18 years, 11 months ago)

It is egotistical to lable others.

I get your point, but I just wanted to point that out.

My ego thanks you all for reading.


--------------------
Fiddlesticks.


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: Help me deal with egocentrics please [Re: Rose]
    #4083251 - 04/21/05 10:39 PM (18 years, 11 months ago)

What if you humbly label others as being greater then you and they your Master and you their servant?


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.

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OfflineMitchnast
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Re: Help me deal with egocentrics please [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #4083308 - 04/21/05 10:55 PM (18 years, 11 months ago)

still ego centric. even if you labled them same as you.
vantage point and similie equate ago
me to this, = ego. us as one = superego
like, as, all of it is defining yourself by the quality that it (you) is (are) a separate quality.

subtract the similie quality in "i am like them"
so that it is "i am them"
and youve accomplished two things, one, youre no longer speaking like an egocentric, and two, you are lving in a vague metaphor. and probably will starve to death.

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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: Help me deal with egocentrics please [Re: Mitchnast]
    #4083403 - 04/21/05 11:20 PM (18 years, 11 months ago)

So if you say, " I am great like them" Thats not being egocentric to you? Isn't that just a way of expanding the egoic center of self to encompass others like it?

Just posing questions for more perspectives to come out. I like hearing all of the different definitions out there on it as there are so many.

I use it to mean a vehicle we express a sense of self or creation of the self through in order to interact with the world. Maybe from now on, I will just say sense of self instead.

Lets see what Webster has to say on the meaning of the word Ego and Egocentric;

Main Entry: ego
Pronunciation: 'E-(")gO also 'e-
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural egos
Etymology: New Latin, from Latin, I -- more at I
1 : the self especially as contrasted with another self or the world
2 a : EGOTISM 2 b : SELF-ESTEEM 1
3 : the one of the three divisions of the psyche in psychoanalytic theory that serves as the organized conscious mediator between the person and reality especially by functioning both in the perception of and adaptation to reality

Main Entry: ego?cen?tric
Pronunciation: "E-gO-'sen-trik also "e-
Function: adjective
1 : concerned with the individual rather than society
2 : taking the ego as the starting point in philosophy
3 a : limited in outlook or concern to one's own activities or needs b : SELF-CENTERED, SELFISH


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.

Edited by gettinjiggywithit (04/21/05 11:21 PM)

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OfflineFrog
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Re: Help me deal with egocentrics please [Re: exclusive58]
    #4083623 - 04/22/05 12:37 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

I have gone to functions where people only talk about their experiences.  I prefer to talk about philosophical, spiritual or other types of bullshit.  :grin:

So, I have fun with it, unless I'm not in the mood.  Like, throw out some queer ideas about something someone said and see what the reaction is.  You can get a dinner party pretty heated up when you challenge people's belief systems.  :grin:


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard

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OfflineMitchnast
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Re: Help me deal with egocentrics please [Re: Frog]
    #4083662 - 04/22/05 01:03 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

listening is a courtesy i extend to my peers whom i respect.
as i do not associate with those i do not respect i have no peers i do not respect and therefore; I listen. if you find yourself wishing someone would just shut up about themselves, then perhaps you dont respect them and, if you respect yourself, should find another peer group. one you will honor.

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InvisiblePsychoactive1984
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Re: Help me deal with egocentrics please [Re: Frog]
    #4083672 - 04/22/05 01:06 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

:thumbup: especially the whole groups beliefs :smile:



--------------------
"Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
"We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
"Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
-It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
-Substance over Style.
-Common sense is uncommon.

Edited by Psychoactive1984 (04/22/05 01:19 AM)

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Invisiblefearfect
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Re: Help me deal with egocentrics please [Re: exclusive58]
    #4083837 - 04/22/05 02:20 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

I know exactly where you're coming from. I think the reason people tell stories about themselves is because these specific events really touched them in a way they like to remember, and either they like to spread and share this moment or they simply want to recall and relive it. I doubt that in most cases they are simply prying for attention. There is nothing wrong with memories. The problem is, we only have our own memories so that is all we can share.

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OfflineMushmonkey
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Re: Help me deal with egocentrics please [Re: exclusive58]
    #4083881 - 04/22/05 02:45 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

blah, edit, total post rewrite.  because i feel like it.


sooo yeah.  pointless small talk.  i used to hate it.  some time in the past.. 5ish?  years apparently I lost that hate.  which i didn't actually realize till just now.

time for a meander offtopic.  my dad, long as i can recall, would engage strangers in fairly long conversations about.. well, anything.  growing up i didn't really understand, was not something i ever could do.  i don't like people, why would i talk to them?
of course, recently i've found myself doing that very thing.  still, i dislike people, but i've rambled on with random people for quite the length of time on occasion.


anyway, the point isn't what's being talked about..  it's the talking.
best to listen..  learn about the people.  laugh at the funny stories.  something similar happen to you?  why not contribute your own story?  a funny story from your past pop into your head?  make them laugh.

they're not showing off, or being desperate..  merely filling the silence.  just enjoy it :wink:


--------------------
i finally got around to making a sig
revel in its glory and quake in fear at its might
grar.

Edited by Mushmonkey (04/22/05 02:56 AM)

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Invisiblemoog
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Re: Help me deal with egocentrics please [Re: Rose]
    #4084090 - 04/22/05 07:01 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

"It is egotistical to lable others."

So now it's egotistical to observe and point out facts? Exclusive was merely stating a factual observation.

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Offlinegnrm23
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Re: Help me deal with egocentrics please [Re: exclusive58]
    #4084207 - 04/22/05 08:14 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

haven't read the whole thread, but:
declare yourself a solipsist & banish them from your reality...
:wink:


--------------------
old enough to know better
not old enough to care

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Offlinegnrm23
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ram dass: [Re: gnrm23]
    #4084215 - 04/22/05 08:16 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

heh, remember that one illustration from BE HERE NOW with the bookshelves & every single title some sorta variation on: "me, myself, and i" ?
hehheh...


--------------------
old enough to know better
not old enough to care

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Offlineexclusive58
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Re: Help me deal with egocentrics please [Re: Silversoul]
    #4084286 - 04/22/05 08:52 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Paradigm said:
Like Huehue said, it sounds like you have some ego issues of your own to deal with.  Focus on how you can be less egocentric, and then you can set an example for them.  Follow the path of wu wei, not interfering with their path, but rather following your own.





I don't really understand the people that are saying that I am the one being arrogantly egocentric. I am not an egocentric person at all, i usually dislike talking about my own experiences, and i practically never do so unless i'm with someone i truely appreciate.

Like moog said, i was merely pointing out an observation, nothing more.

And yes Psilocyberin, in order to communicate to you my observation, i did have to refer to myself 21 times (i didn't check, i trust your mathematical abilities :wink: ), because after all, it is my own observation isn't it?

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Offlineexclusive58
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Re: Help me deal with egocentrics please [Re: fearfect]
    #4084314 - 04/22/05 08:59 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

fearfect said:
I know exactly where you're coming from.  I think the reason people tell stories about themselves is because these specific events really touched them in a way they like to remember, and either they like to spread and share this moment or they simply want to recall and relive it.  I doubt that in most cases they are simply prying for attention.  There is nothing wrong with memories.  The problem is, we only have our own memories so that is all we can share.




Thanx for putting things back in perspective  :thumbup:
Although i disagree that memories are all we can share. What about opinions, points of view, jokes, and especially, going off on tangents? That last one is my favorite type of funny discussions. People just bouncing off of other's funny comments, adding their own little twist to the topic at hand...you know, tripping out!


--------------------

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OfflineAmber_Glow
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Re: Help me deal with egocentrics please [Re: exclusive58]
    #4084425 - 04/22/05 09:33 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

I have a problem being part of "experience sharing" conversations. I honestly have and have always had a terrible memory, and I honestly can never remember any experiences to call them up into memory and share them. What's wrong with me? :p

There is one guy we hang out with a lot, and every time he gets drunk he wants to tell us all about how cool his dad is and all the great stories he has heard about his dad and crap. Holy shit. Nothing worse than that.

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Offlineexclusive58
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Re: Help me deal with egocentrics please [Re: Amber_Glow]
    #4084725 - 04/22/05 11:31 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

And if you had an incredible memory, would you want to share your stories as much as your friend does when he's drunk?

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InvisibleSilversoul
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Re: Help me deal with egocentrics please [Re: exclusive58]
    #4084990 - 04/22/05 12:52 PM (18 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

exclusive58 said:
Quote:

Paradigm said:
Like Huehue said, it sounds like you have some ego issues of your own to deal with. Focus on how you can be less egocentric, and then you can set an example for them. Follow the path of wu wei, not interfering with their path, but rather following your own.





I don't really understand the people that are saying that I am the one being arrogantly egocentric. I am not an egocentric person at all, i usually dislike talking about my own experiences, and i practically never do so unless i'm with someone i truely appreciate.

Like moog said, i was merely pointing out an observation, nothing more.



If it was merely an observation, then why are you so uncomfortable about it? A truly balanced ego would not impose its own standards on others.


--------------------

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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: Help me deal with egocentrics please [Re: exclusive58]
    #4085491 - 04/22/05 03:31 PM (18 years, 11 months ago)

exclusive58 said:

I don't really understand the people that are saying that I am the one being arrogantly egocentric.

here's a way to understand and it's not really a big deal as everyone does it or has. One of the functions of the ego is to separate itself from others. So when you say something like, "They were all being into themselves and I wasn't" Is separating yourself from others or being in your separatist ego facet.

No big deal as it can help us to learn what our personal preferences are. Good can be found in everything f you look deep enough.

There is a facet of ego hat can help us to commune and connect in unity and it does it through relating its experiences with others.

I prefer seeing the ego as a creative tool myself, not something to be banished or dismantled but used by the "observer self" as a tool.

Your observer self used it as a tool for realizing a preference of yours and that is to be in the company of people who talk about issues beyond themselves that effect more then the individual. Your observer self then readjusted the tool and then allowed itself to enjoy the dinner convo even though it wasn't a preference after it made that mental note about you to you.

Sounds like it's working well or you are working it well for yourself to me.

Contractions and expansions. I love underlying energy dynamics.


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.

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OfflineSneezingPenis
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Re: Help me deal with egocentrics please [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #4085703 - 04/22/05 04:38 PM (18 years, 11 months ago)

Exclusive, I myself completly understand what you are trying to say. You call it egotism, i call it self-absorption. I used to (still do sometimes) bitch and create massive diatribes on the subject, until i realized i was doing the exact same thing these self absorbed people were. By wallowing on the fact, and becoming upset over it, it made my consciousness huddle back inside of ME, limiting my ability to see beyond me and my world. Everyone is self absorbed to a degree, as long as you can identify your self absorption and keep it at bay, while biting your tongue at others egotism will make you that much less self absorbed.

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