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Registered: 05/30/04
Posts: 118
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
My Life
    #4067057 - 04/18/05 01:18 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Holy shit. where to begin. My life. I just dont know what to do. i dont know what the point of this post is. i dont know why i am typing all this on the internet its just i have no one else to talk to and i cant handle all this bullshit anymore. Im seiously on the end of my chain and after everything thats happened i just cant see myself ever giving a fuck about anything anymore. Wow. I got expelled from school. I still get my diploma thank god but i cant walk or go to any school activities. Im on probation and have two court dates coming up and im going to be fucked. Now on top of that, the one girl that i have ever fell in love with, the one girl i have ever been able to open myself up to, the one person that has ever seen any good in me and made me feel good about myself has decided she is leaving me and needs some time on her own. I honestly just dont see the point in going on. I cant stop thinking about how shitty this world is. I look around and i see happy people and i just cant help but be pissed at them because i cant be happy. I have been doing alot of ocycottin lately maybe thats why im so depressed i dont know. I just feel like im losing everything and everything is going downhill. I feel like i could just roll over and die and everything would be better. Like i said i have no idea why i even posted any of this, i just dont know what the fuck to do. None of this shit would even be so bad if maybe my girl would be by my side and help me through all of this but no now she is leaving me in this time. I will never find a girl i like as much as her i know this is a fact and this just makes me wonder why even go on. The one person that makes me feel good about myself, the best thing that ever happened to me and the only person who really cared about me, doesnt anymore. I just dont know mans...i just dont know...

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Cacti junky
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Registered: 10/05/03
Posts: 6,648
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Re: My Life [Re: CrazyShroomMan]
    #4067077 - 04/18/05 01:24 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

it's all part of life, everyone on this message board has gone through the same exact thing or something very similar including myself..it does get better. just give it some time and hang in there

Manoa said:
I need to stop spending all my money on plants and take up a cheaper hobby, like heroin. :lol:

Looking for Rauhocereus riosaniensis seeds or live specimen(s), :pm: me if you have any for trade

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Registered: 11/09/04
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Re: My Life [Re: SuperD]
    #4067102 - 04/18/05 01:30 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

i think life can be happy.

c h e m i s t r y

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Re: My Life [Re: chemistry]
    #4067120 - 04/18/05 01:36 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Well take me where the happy people are because im sick of all this garbage. Im just going to turn into a miserable shit who doesnt care about anything or anyone if my life keeps going like this.

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Re: My Life [Re: SuperD]
    #4067153 - 04/18/05 01:51 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

I personaly am in a bad spot too. It seems things never get better only worse. I'm a drug addict, trying to quite methadone, but I just can't stop taking that shit. Almost a year ago I left all my friends in South Dakota, mainly to get my hands on "the done" and I realize now that was the biggest mistake in my life. I miss one friend more than words can describe. I think about taking my life every day, all day long. Who knows why I have not done it yet. My SD friends hate me,(I can tell in their tone of voice, on the rare occasions I speak with them). I screwed my life up so badly and it was all just about gettin' high. I feel good Tonight from the 4 Somas I took, but I know it wont last long.All my good memories have turned bad, and they haunt me everynight in the dream world. I miss my friends so much, but I can understand why they hate me, hell I hate myself. Just remember that you have a purpose in life and a job to fullfill, and when that is accomplished, you will be rewarded with good karma. My problem is that I haven't found my purpose, but I will keep searching for it and so should you. Things get better then they get worse, that is just how life is I guess. It's a dualistic cycle of good times and bad, but it's all we have. I sincerely hope you cheer up!


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Registered: 07/30/04
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Re: My Life [Re: JB201]
    #4067372 - 04/18/05 02:59 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

not only in your life,man...bad shit happens to many others,too...
know that...we just gotta be strong, look positive, work our best to get rid of this shit cause we can't go down anymore,only up...

Heaveno...CU CU CU CU CU in the Highway...Peace

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Re: My Life [Re: CrazyShroomMan]
    #4070471 - 04/18/05 11:26 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

you're not depressed cause your doing oxycontin, more likely you're doin oxy's cause you're depressed.

take a walk. make yourself smile (i didn't believe in this until about a week ago).

so shit is going badly. what's wrong with that? things go up, things come down. things change. they'll be bad, they'll be good. and you can watch it all. so take a moment to sit still, and notice how you're breathing. feel your body, and let the tension go away.

sometimes you can't quiet your mind because there are a million thoughts running through, but they never really go anywhere. well, have a bit of faith, and just feel what your body is doing. forget the thoughts.

you're alive. let yourself have a good time. and when you're doing something, don't fuck it up by thinkin about it. and if you do think about it, you thought about it, but things change, right? so play along, and go right back into just enjoying yourself. it takes practice. but not as much as it seems.


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