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InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,364
Loc: In the jungle
Big life-decision coming up for my husband and I...would like input.
    #4054171 - 04/14/05 12:30 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Okay, basically here is the situation. 

My husband has been working at Dell for coming up on 2 years.  During that time, I have seen his ambition for the job (sales) steadily start to fizzle.  It's gotten to the point where I think he hates his job. 

This makes me sad, because I want my baby to be happy. Plus, he's only 21, and I don't think he should have to work so hard at this age.  He has the rest of his life to work like a dog. 

But there is a solution, and right now we are pondering whether or not to take it. 

You see, my husband co-owns several duplex properties with his grandfather in a town we both grew up in called Midlothian.  Now, Midlothian is your average Texas bible-belt town, if you can envision what that is like.  Lots of fundie Christians, lots of bored cops.  Midlothian is located just south of the DFW area, a suburban type town. 

Anyway, Kevin and I are considering moving to Midlothian and moving into one of his duplexes for FREE (no rent at all) while I work to save money for Canada and he finishes his degree at University at Arlington.  The problem with this plan is that we will be in a hick town, with parental figures (all his family, my parents) all around us.  I can foresee this being either a good or bad thing. 

You see, I think it would be best for us as a couple to move into one of those duplexes, so that he doesn't have to work and just concentrates on getting his degree.  I can see his inner fire slowly but surely growing dull...and with each bad day he has at work, I can see his self-confidence begin to dwindle...

It makes me want to cry. 
:sad:

So this is a big decision for us that could shape the rest of our lives together.  I am totally willing to put up with pesky relatives if it will give him a chance to collect himself and college, or maybe just something he enjoys. 

What do you think?  Should we move?


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InvisibleYidakiMan
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Re: Big life-decision coming up for my husband and I...would like input. [Re: MOTH]
    #4054189 - 04/14/05 12:36 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

You are not a child and neither is your husband. You are independent beings of your relatives. You have the right to do what you want, even if it is to avoid contact with your relatives when that is what you want. It sounds like a really good idea, if you really think that college will better your lives.


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InvisibleDNKYD
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Registered: 09/24/04
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Re: Big life-decision coming up for my husband and I...would like input. [Re: MOTH]
    #4054192 - 04/14/05 12:37 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I say do it. As long as your relatives can respect your privacy, like not dropping by unexpected all the time, then it shoudn't be a problem. Although, I wouldn't be able to survive in a pure hick town. But hey, free rent? Hot damn!


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InvisibleLouiseLouise
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Registered: 11/02/04
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Re: Big life-decision coming up for my husband and I...would like input. [Re: MOTH]
    #4054193 - 04/14/05 12:37 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I'll attest to the working and going to school burn-out, but if you move it will take longer to save, but I would suggest it would be better (less stressful) on your relationship. Your relationship with relatives will work itself out.
Just a thought :wink:

GL

:peace:


--------------------
"That's why you get in close to them, and then take the picture!! Don't be a pussy!" ~CC


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InvisibleOneMoreRobot3021
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Registered: 06/06/03
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Re: Big life-decision coming up for my husband and I...would like input. [Re: DNKYD]
    #4054201 - 04/14/05 12:38 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

DNKYD said:
I say do it. As long as your relatives can respect your privacy, like not dropping by unexpected all the time, then it shoudn't be a problem. Although, I wouldn't be able to survive in a pure hick town. But hey, free rent? Hot damn!




--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis


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InvisibleHeavyToilet
The Heaviest OfThem All
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Registered: 08/06/03
Posts: 9,458
Loc: British Columbia
Re: Big life-decision coming up for my husband and I...would like input. [Re: MOTH]
    #4054224 - 04/14/05 12:41 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I think it's a good idea.

A higher degree = more money... and that would probably be your best bet if you wish to move to Canada.

It may be a bit irritating for the short term... but I think it would be a very wise decision for the long term. I think it would help you two reach your goals.

It probably wouldn't even be that bad... the occasional family get together can't be that excruciating. :smirk:

Good luck.


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Offlinedanlennon3
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Re: Big life-decision coming up for my husband and I...would like input. [Re: MOTH]
    #4054237 - 04/14/05 12:44 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

living for free is great. If you think living there for a little while will help you out, then go for it. It might not be as fun living there, but just remember you wont be there forever. It might be a good thing getting away from your everyday life. I'm assuming your party life will have to mellow down too while your there. This will probably suck at first but in the long run, you will be happy with sobriety... especially when you move out and celebrate. Living there might also let your hubbie concentrate better on school. you sound like a young couple, so if you go there for a couple years, you have the rest of your lives to do things that make you happy. A change like this would probably make the future a lot better for you two. Remember to keep in touch with everyone that you are leaving, and visit them every once in a while.

How many years would you plan on living there and what do you want to get out of the whole thing?


--------------------
"Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"



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Invisibleblissedout
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Registered: 11/11/04
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Re: Big life-decision coming up for my husband and I...would like input. [Re: MOTH]
    #4054241 - 04/14/05 12:45 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I say move to one of the duplexes. You will only be there what? Two years? That isn't too bad. I know how you feel about living too close to your relatives. That can be a good thing and a bad thing. As long as they don't bother you all of the time it should be fine. Good luck with whatever you choose! :sun: :heart:


--------------------



:murray:


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Invisibleblink
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Registered: 03/31/02
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Re: Big life-decision coming up for my husband and I...would like input. *DELETED* [Re: MOTH]
    #4055014 - 04/14/05 03:48 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by blinkidiot

Reason for deletion: Im sorry



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InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,364
Loc: In the jungle
Re: Big life-decision coming up for my husband and I...would like input. [Re: blink]
    #4055860 - 04/14/05 07:34 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Thanks for the input...Kevin talked to his grandmother today. But it's the grandfather who has the real say in the matter.


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OfflineGus
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Registered: 07/16/03
Posts: 1,503
Loc: Quebec, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
Re: Big life-decision coming up for my husband and I...would like input. [Re: MOTH]
    #4056293 - 04/14/05 09:56 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

The problem is complex so Ill try to make it more simple to help you Ellemy.

Quote:

EllemyshShade said:I want my baby to be happy.




Quote:

DNKYD said:hey, free rent? Hot damn!




Problem solved.


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