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egghead1
Nakedly Open
Registered: 03/02/05
Posts: 931
Loc: The Womb of Love
Last seen: 18 years, 8 months
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Re: im so lost [Re: JCoke]
#4033297 - 04/09/05 03:13 AM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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Your going way off the deep end into extremes here JCoke. What a silly notion of selflessness you have. Selflessness should be spontaneous not contrived, and in no way should you make yourself into a doormat like you suggested, its very silly to sacrifice youself on the altar of other people's ego's, is just not compassionate for you or them.
Fearfect, if you are not truly loving, compassionate and generous to yourself, then you cannot expect to be truly selfless toward others. Selflessness comes from the realization of no-self, which means that after thorough investigation of your own mind you discover the illusion of 'self' and 'other' and with that realization you spontaneously begin to help people, it just becomes what you are naturally without intentions or reference points, like environmental generosit,y its totally spontaneous.
As long as you are under the illusion of 'self' you can never do something for others without expecting something in return, because you are always involving your 'self' in the act, and the very nature of this 'self-grasping' attitude is neediness. This neediness is a lack of confidence in your own state, which always seeks comfirmation of its 'goodness' or indeed 'badness' from the outside world.
You should never make yourself into a human doormat like others are suggesting, that's exactly why you are in the situation you're in at the moment. Right now you can affrod be selfish, and by that i mean taking time out for 'you', to try and discover exactly who you are and why you do what you do. I know it sounds very simple but if you can take time for reflection to notice all of your good qualities and flaws, you will spontaniously begin to feel compassion and loving kindness toward yourself, then automatically if you're being loving and compassionate to yourself, you will act that way toward others, then there is no problem, that's cause and effect in action.
Anyway i hope this advice meets you well, and remember don't be a doormat any longer, don't sacrifice yourself on the altar of other peoples ego's anymore, start to develop more confidence and compassion in yourself, for yourself, until you discover the illusion of 'self', peace be with you.
Edited by egghead1 (04/09/05 03:30 AM)
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JCoke
dream observer
Registered: 02/17/04
Posts: 1,229
Loc: maryland
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
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Re: im so lost [Re: egghead1]
#4033649 - 04/09/05 08:22 AM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
egghead1 said: Your going way off the deep end into extremes here JCoke. What a silly notion of selflessness you have. Selflessness should be spontaneous not contrived, and in no way should you make yourself into a doormat like you suggested, its very silly to sacrifice youself on the altar of other people's ego's, is just not compassionate for you or them.
hey now i'm not saying be a doormate, i'm saying offering up your happiness for others wont make you happy in return, it wont even out the equation, happiness comes from within yourself, imo, i agree that sacrificing youself on the altar of other people's ego's is a waste, but being a living sacrifice, to be the change you want to see in the world, even though there's no guarantee everyone you are nice to will return to you and to the rest of the world what it deserves, for the sake of others who do apply what they see in you, it's worth it,,,but it wont make you happy, if i can't share the happiness i found inside, and can only hate, i'd rather be alone the rest of my life.
in his terms, i'm saying you don't HAVE to do thing A, you don't have to be nice to everyone, but it go's for thing B, it well just leave you as unhappy and dissatisfied as thing A, there's no reason to stop being nice to people and switch to being an asshole, imo, don't worry about others, worry about yourself, i do see being nice to people having it's benefits, but that might just be me, to each his own.
have fun.
-------------------- hello, your name is life on earth ------------------------------------ "I traveled a long way seeking God, but when I finally gave up and turned back, there He was, within me! O Lalli! Now why do you wander like a beggar? Make some effort, and He will grant you a vision of Himself in the form of bliss in your heart." -the saint of the Kashmir Shaivism tradition: Lalli.
Edited by JCoke (04/09/05 08:30 AM)
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egghead1
Nakedly Open
Registered: 03/02/05
Posts: 931
Loc: The Womb of Love
Last seen: 18 years, 8 months
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Re: im so lost [Re: JCoke]
#4033704 - 04/09/05 08:47 AM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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Yes! Be the change you want to see in others, those famous words from Gandhi, a great Bodhisattva in my book. I agree with this. To be truly kind to others doesn't mean being diplomatic or putting on a fake smile whilst agreeing with them and stroking there ego's. First we have to be compassionate toward ourselves in a real way before we can know how and when to help others best. Being a living example of compassion and kindness means first being loving and kind to yourself. When people see that your more calm, relaxed loving and happy with yourself, they will automatically seek your help and ask things like "What has changed with you, how do i get happiness like that". People aren't stupid, they cans sense things and are directly effected by our thoughts, attitudes and emotional states, before we can help others we have to deal with ourselves first. Of course their are always envious people who will try and destroy what you have, this is the reason for having a deep confidence in your state, so you know best how to deal with these situations without giving in to hate and aversion. Kindness is the cure for all ills.
Peace
-------------------- All you need is Love! Really thats it! Infinite Unconditional Love! Just develop that and all else will fall into place perfectly!
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JacquesCousteau
Being.
Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 7,825
Loc: Everywhere, Everytime.
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Re: im so lost [Re: dr0mni]
#4033804 - 04/09/05 09:40 AM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
dr0mni said: I used to be a little bitch, and would give into everyone. It wasn't until I had a psychotic girlfriend who tried to completely destroy who I was and rebuild me in her own image that I realized how much I liked myself. After I broke up with her I learned to love myself more, and refuse to be taken advantage of by people who don't appreciate my efforts.
Man, I think you're me...
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dr0mni
My Own Messiah
Registered: 08/21/04
Posts: 2,921
Loc: USF Tampa, Fl
Last seen: 16 years, 9 months
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Quote:
JacquesCousteau said:
Quote:
dr0mni said: I used to be a little bitch, and would give into everyone. It wasn't until I had a psychotic girlfriend who tried to completely destroy who I was and rebuild me in her own image that I realized how much I liked myself. After I broke up with her I learned to love myself more, and refuse to be taken advantage of by people who don't appreciate my efforts.
Man, I think you're me...
I AM you! We are all ONE! LOL!
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