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OfflineSeussA
Error: divide byzero

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Registered: 04/27/01
Posts: 23,480
Loc: Caribbean
Last seen: 23 days, 10 hours
My living will (humor, but serious as well)
    #4025752 - 04/07/05 12:47 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

I just got a fax of a living will and thought I would post the contents. It is a bit of dark humor, but makes some very interesting points for debate:

Quote:


I, _____________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such determination is reached, I hear-by instruct my spouse, children, and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, and call it a day.

Under no circumstances shall the members of congress enact a special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention instead to the health, education, and future of millions of Americans who aren't in a permanent coma.

Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case. I don't care how many fundamentalist votes they're trying to scrounge for their next election. It is my wish that they play politics with someone else's life and leave me alone to die in peace with dignity.

I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own business, too.

If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a political cause, I hear-by promise to come back from the grave and make his or her existence a living hell.




--------------------
Just another spore in the wind.


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OfflineThe_Red_Crayon
Exposer of Truth
Male User Gallery

Registered: 08/13/03
Posts: 13,673
Loc: Smokey Mtns. TN Flag
Last seen: 4 months, 11 days
Re: My living will (humor, but serious as well) [Re: Seuss]
    #4025818 - 04/07/05 01:08 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

hahhaha thats great...


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OfflineSmallworlds
Trippin' fool -Merry Prankster

Registered: 03/12/05
Posts: 4,207
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
Re: My living will (humor, but serious as well) [Re: Seuss]
    #4026129 - 04/07/05 02:24 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

I love that, I just might use it. :lol:


--------------------
Through the excercise of patience, one may learn humility..

Smoke plenty of green, and eat fungus!!!!
:peace::heart::slomo::gd_icon::gd_icon::gd_icon::slomo:


Trip Report


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InvisiblePsychoactive1984
PositiveCynicist
Male
Registered: 02/06/05
Posts: 3,546
Loc: California, Monterey Coun...
Re: My living will (humor, but serious as well) [Re: Seuss]
    #4026372 - 04/07/05 03:20 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

:thumbup: :grin:


--------------------
"Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
"We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
"Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
-It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
-Substance over Style.
-Common sense is uncommon.


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OfflineCatalysis
EtherealEngineer

Registered: 04/23/02
Posts: 1,742
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
Re: My living will (humor, but serious as well) [Re: Seuss]
    #4027747 - 04/07/05 08:15 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Here is mine.

Quote:

I, _____________, being of sound mind and body, wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means if need be, until my defective parts can be replaced by cybernetic/nanomechanical biomachines.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a cold beer, please administer a vodka IV stat. When such determination is reached, I hear-by instruct my spouse, children, and attending physicians to cryogenically freeze my body in liquid N2 using a 10% DMSO/aqueous solution.

Under no circumstances shall the members of congress enact a special law to kill me. It is my wish that these boneheads pay attention to the health, education, and future of millions of Americans who are in a permanent coma.

Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case. I don't care how many fundamentalist votes they're trying to scrounge for their next election. It is my wish that they play politics with someone else's life and leave me alone to exist in peace with dignity.

I couldn't care less if a hundred liberal loons send e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about my untimely demise. I don't know these people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to kill me. They should mind their own business, too.

If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a political cause, I hear-by promise to kick their ass with my new cybernetic body.




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OfflineSmallworlds
Trippin' fool -Merry Prankster

Registered: 03/12/05
Posts: 4,207
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
Re: My living will (humor, but serious as well) [Re: Catalysis]
    #4027766 - 04/07/05 08:20 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

damn I wouldn't wan't to hang out 15 years like Terry Schavio. You would?


--------------------
Through the excercise of patience, one may learn humility..

Smoke plenty of green, and eat fungus!!!!
:peace::heart::slomo::gd_icon::gd_icon::gd_icon::slomo:


Trip Report


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InvisiblePsychoactive1984
PositiveCynicist
Male
Registered: 02/06/05
Posts: 3,546
Loc: California, Monterey Coun...
Re: My living will (humor, but serious as well) [Re: Seuss]
    #4029419 - 04/08/05 03:46 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

/gives a living will a try.

Quote:


I _______________, of sound mind, wish to be made a target of the media, if I ever become incapacitated to the extent that I cannot function due to a lack of consciousness/coherence.

I wish to be a spectacle, nationwide... As my existance somehow will be different then all the other subsequent deaths occuring in a daily basis as told by the obituaries in your local newspaper. My life shall be blown out of porportion, all the details concerning how I would up in said state shall be recounted many times over, as well as telling the news hungry personal fetishes, and pet peeves. In addition to this, I mandate that not only the U.S. president gets involved... but also the United Nations, as my existance holds greater relevance then many others... because... (I'll let you know as soon as I find out why Terri Schiavo's existance meant so fuckin' much)

... I wish for the all the major religions to get involved, and the one with the greatest pull and affluence and influence over this democractic nation where I firmly believe Seperation of Church and State fully exists; shall be the sole determinate of the aforementioned nature of my existance.

Should the religion with the greatest affluence choose for me to die, I'd request... an Irish funeral where everyone gets smashed to celebrate the life I lived, rather then mourn my demise. Furtermore, should said religion choose to end my life, and if it's acceptable to the religion in charge of my life; I'd like to be cremated, and my ashes thrown in a typical garbage can... as It seems much of everything in America, ultimately winds up at the dump, why not my remnants?





--------------------
"Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
"We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
"Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
-It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
-Substance over Style.
-Common sense is uncommon.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleZero7a1
Leaving YourWasteland

Registered: 10/23/02
Posts: 3,594
Loc: Passing Cloud
Re: My living will (humor, but serious as well) [Re: Seuss]
    #4033938 - 04/09/05 12:40 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

lol, thats great. I didnt know you had kids! Im sure theres a lot i dont know... but ill be sure.. if that time comes, to speak out on your behalf, and your wish to be released, back into that cosmic dust, from which you came, or something like that :laugh:.


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