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OfflineGreenOsiris
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Registered: 01/06/05
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The Illusion of Evil? (This is long)
    #3981786 - 03/28/05 10:09 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

So this was an interesting experience to say the least.

My friend and I decided to eat about 1.5g dried each which is a pretty normal dose for both of us. We started off the night playing ping pong and had earlier decided to take a walk once we started peaking (Ping Pong is pretty cool for a while). We put on some music which was Static-X (his choice)and he was blasting it through the stereo. I had not been feeling anything but almost instantly I started to feel the effect of the shrooms.

I have only had three panic attacks in my life, the first one was on shrooms with my girlfriend almost five years ago. I haven't had one in over three years but I began having one and recognized the signs. I decided to change the music because it was just way too negative and heavy. I decided to put on Sublime (which always lightens my mood) and the song "Summertime". The song got to the part where he says "Evil, onry scandalous and evil" and I knew the world was going to throw me a curve-ball tonight. I have had uneasy feelings on shrooms plenty, but no panic attack in a long time.

We soon decided it was time to go for that walk we had discussed. This was about nearly an hour after the panick and I still wasn't feeling right but decided it might do me good to get out (though I had serious reservations about it). We went to a lake across from his house and along the way I saw a little dog walking quickly towards us. At this point I was tripping out of my mind and thought it was a little black lab puppy. As he got closer he slowed down and seemed very spooked about something (I think he knew something was not right about us). He walked right up to me and I could see he was more of a pit-bull doberman mix, when he let out a quick deep yelp and took off like lightning. The funny thing was that the way he ran seemed impossible like time had been altered and he was running about 60 mph or more (way faster than any dog I have ever seen). He got to the end of a dirt path and let out a blood-curdling howl that shook me to the bones as it did not seem canine in any way, and I still don't even know what the sound was.

Needless to say I was ready to go home, but continued on, constantly looking behind me. After an hour walking by the lake we deicded to head back. We (half-jokingly) said we were going to see the dog again since we had to go back the way he had just left (only one entrance to the lake). As we got to the street across from the lake (and assumed we were safe), we saw a car stopped and looking for something in front of their headlights. I asked what they were looking for and they said a dog-collar for the pit-bull that had just been killed by another car. I can't even describe the relief I felt because the dog just seemed like it was spawned straight from hell. I feel guilty saying that, but I was utterly relieved it was gone, amd at the same time very freaked out by this whole ordeal and how synchronious things were beginning to seem.

Later we decided to go to a park and relax (a park that we frequent quite regularly and have never encountered anyone at this time of night) and we lied down on the grass. My friend taught me a meditation technique he learned from Kendo where you close your eyes to a tiny slit (still able to barely see) and envision a point of light in the center of your field of vision while doing deep breathing. All I can say is wow! I took one deep breath and then exhaled for the first time and instantly everything got lighter, the stars were fading and all I could see was light. I was a little spooked, but tried again. This time when I exhaled everything got light again and turned smoky-grey.

As I looked around I could see I was inside of a space helmet filled with smoke. I stared in awe at it for about 6 or seven seconds before I got scared again and sat up, trying to touch it. When I sat up everything was light (but in reality it was 10PM- pitch black). I know I did not lose consciousness but I was almost certain I was spatially in another place altogether- one devoid of life and very alien. I could see tall grass and an orangeish grey hue around me. I was spooked and asked if my friend was there because I could not see him even though he was right next to me. Eventually the light faded and turned back to the park and my friend sat up saying wow also.

I had just about all I could handle for one night when an old woman began walking slowly towards us. She was carrying an empty plastic bag and walked right next to us. She looked like she was from Afghanistan as she had a shawl over her head and I could not see her face from the shadows. She walked by and I said "Hi, how are you?" and she just stared and didn't say a word. Even as she had passed us she still had her head turned and was staring as she walked away. I thought she might be frightened of us but then I wondered why she would choose to walk right next to us if that were the case.

I can't describe the seed of evil I felt was planted that night, but it felt very very real. Later we were no longer tripping and went for a drive. Coming across another park where we had hoped to smoke up, a car was parked with a single driver in it. We decided to go somewhere else, and the car turned on and flashed his brights at us and began following us for several blocks before we booked it and lost him.

I don't really know what to make of all of this, and it is easy to discount it all and chalk it up to being under the effect of a hallucinogen, but it felt much more real than that, like we were in an altered reality for that short while. Everything around me was making me edgy and indeed it seems like for good reason. I don't usually subscribe to the idea of pure evil, but that night made me seriously reconsider. This all happened well over three weeks ago, but I wanted to see how I felt about it all for a while before writing it down. I would love to hear other people's thoughts and/or similar experiences.


Edited by GreenOsiris (03/28/05 10:10 PM)


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OfflineGomp
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Re: The Illusion of Evil? (This is long) [Re: GreenOsiris]
    #3981990 - 03/28/05 10:56 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

to the bone.. :heart:

keep in mind, no fear is bigger than your strength to overcome it.
the wold is spooky..

..live ... evil..

:wink: :sun:


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OfflineQuankus
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Re: The Illusion of Evil? (This is long) [Re: Gomp]
    #3982205 - 03/28/05 11:26 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

i have felt a higher power that can take over during a shroom trip, sometimes it can get scary and you automatically associate that with evil. but when i think of it after, its really all in my head.


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InvisibleeMotionALLmotion
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The "ILLUSION".... Shroooooomz~ are NOT EVIL.... [Re: GreenOsiris]
    #3982848 - 03/29/05 01:04 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

I shortened your story a bit and left all of the "evil" stuff in it...., maybe it will letcha~ see whatcha see and why you saw whatcha~ saw -- how I seesaw it....  And I am not in any way making fun of you, but I did *try* to be funny a few times....    :tongue:
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My friend and I decided to eat about 1.5g dried each. I had not been feeling anything but almost instantly I started to feel the effect of the shrooms.  IF they hit you fast and hard, they were prolly~ some GOOD shyt, sometimes light doses can be fuggin strong....    For real....
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I have had three panic attacks in my life, the first one was on shrooms five years ago. I began having one and recognized the signs. The music was just way too negative and heavy. I decided to put on Sublime.  The song got to the part where he says "Evil, onry scandalous and evil". I have had uneasy feelings on shrooms plenty.  THIS right here set the mood for your trip....  I bet if you think back five years ago with your first panic attack with your GF, was music or a creepy movie that made you trip out last time....?
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This was an hour after the panick and I still wasn't feeling right but decided to get out -- though I had serious reservations about it.  You should not have gone if you didn't "feel" like going....  I saw a little dog walking quickly towards us. At this point I was tripping out of my mind and thought it was a little black lab puppy. As he got closer he slowed down and seemed very spooked about something. He walked right up to me and I could see he was more of a pit-bull doberman mix, when he let out a quick deep yelp and took off like lightning.  He was scared to death of YOU....
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We continued on, constantly looking behind me. We saw a car stopped and looking for something in front of their headlights. The pit-bull had just been killed by a car. He had gotten to the end of a dirt path and let out a blood-curdling howl that shook me to the bones as it did not seem canine in any way, and I still don't even know what the sound was.  I can't even describe the relief I felt because the dog just seemed like it was spawned straight from hell. I feel guilty saying that, but I was utterly relieved it was gone.  He was never there to hurt you, he was scared and running....  If he was mad or "evil", he would have gotten freakin HUGE, and tore your ass up for real....  :shrug:  So, re-cap for clarity....    :wink:  The music was just way too negative and heavy.  and  I was tripping out of my mind.  and  I felt because the dog just seemed like it was spawned straight from hell.  ok, back to the story.... :grin:
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An old woman began walking slowly towards us. She was carrying an empty plastic bag and walked right next to us. She looked like she was from Afghanistan as she had a shawl over her head and I could not see her face from the shadows. She walked by and I said "Hi, how are you?" and she just stared and didn't say a word.  She sounds like a NICE woman to have even stopped to say anything to two strangers in the middle of the night....  :shrug:  What did you say back to her....?      Even as she had passed us she still had her head turned and was staring as she walked away.  YOU made her scared of both of you.... I thought she might be frightened of us but then I wondered why she would choose to walk right next to us if that were the case. She prolly~ was not scared till she got to you guys, all tripped out staring at her - well, I am assuming you were staring....(?)
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I can't describe the seed of evil I felt was planted that night, but it felt very very real. Later we were no longer tripping and went for a drive. Coming across another park where we had hoped to smoke up, a car was parked with a single driver in it. We decided to go somewhere else, and the car turned on and flashed his brights at us and began following us for several blocks before we booked it and lost him.YA~ maybe had your headlights on bright, or off....?
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Chalk it up to being under the effect of a hallucinogen, like we were in an altered reality for that short while. Everything around me was making me edgy and indeed it seems like for good reason.  The good reason was, you were trippin ballz~....!  I don't usually subscribe to the idea of pure evil, but that night made me seriously reconsider.There was nothing to reconsider, you were trippin ballz~ after being put into a creppy panicky mood for the wrong music....    I would love to hear other people's thoughts.
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It may sound like I am mocking you, but the only real reason you tripped out, is because your shroomz were strong, and you tripped out....  Next time you wanna~ listen to a "creepy" song, put on The Canberries, "ZOMBIE"....  That song has a back-up plan in the lyrics....  :wink: 
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The wrong music was the wrong set and setting, then you forced your selves to go on a walk you didn't want to, in the middle of the night....  Then a scared to death dog ran past you, scared to death, and got hit by a car....  Then a nice woman came up and said "Hi" to you....  Sounds like an AWSOME fuckin trip to me bro~....!    I took out all of the "cool" stuff....!    I would be lookin forward to the next time fo~ sho~...!  For real now, "evil" is only in yer~ head....  It is from the movies....  I swear to GOD on that....!  Next time you get the "creeps", or a panic attack, squint your eyes, and turn that light on....  If you can do it trippin, you can do it sober....  Perhaps you have a gift...?  Let me know when you have mastered that light thing sober....  No joke....  :heart:




:sun:


P.S.  It's in your head....  It's in you head....  Zombie, Zombie, Zombie, ie, ie, ie, ah, ah, ah....  :grin:


--------------------
Uni-VersALL      MasterPeace
eMotive  :sun: Divinity NowThere Infinity :sun:  eMelody


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OfflineGreenOsiris
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Re: The "ILLUSION".... Shroooooomz~ are NOT EVIL.... [Re: eMotionALLmotion]
    #3983389 - 03/29/05 02:21 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

eMotionALLmotion thank you for going through all of this. First off let me say that the panic was probably set off by the music, you are definitely right about that. The sublime lyrics however were almost a warning I felt rather than seting the trip, because it was already bad at that point, Sublime was my back-up. And again you are right about the previous panick attack being cued by music, some really intense freaky Floyd stuff.

The dog on the other hand is a whole other piece. The way it moved and the way it sounded all were good indicators that something was very different about it. It almost seemed like it was rabid (perhaps it was). I just felt that everything was synching for a reason and I should have listened to my hunch to stay, but my friend really wanted to get out of the house because his drunken roommate would be showing up, and you know how obnoxious that can be- I'd almost prefer a crazy dog  :smile:

Lastly the old woman never said a word to us, I think you misread and a nice old lady coming to chat doesn't quite fit the picture here. Maybe she didn't speak any English. She had an entire ten acre park to walk around and deliberately walked right next to us, I don't know why she would if she were scared of us, but again maybe she wanted to look at us for whatever reason. I know common sense tells me if I am a feeble old woman in the night why would I go up to two complete strangers who could do God knows what to me? I seriously doubt she was afraid, because she simply wouldn't have approached us(and btw we were trying to ignore her until she came right next to us staring at us).

I agree that I like to think it's all in my head, but sometimes the world spins something fierce at you and all the pieces seem to fall in place to create an atmosphere unlike anything you have seen. It seems like with the third eye open, you can create this atmosphere around you by the emotions you already have, kind of like projecting it into reality, and that's more or less what I was alluding to. I don't mean the dog wasn't real before I saw it (I hope anyways)just that everything can be amplified and it goes both ways from what you perceive to what really happens. I don't totally mean to spin this into a philosophical debate, because the meditation is something I wanted to share with people who might want to try it.

Anyways I appreciate the insight from everyone and am still anxious to hear more if anyone has something to add. Thanks!


Edited by GreenOsiris (03/29/05 02:25 AM)


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Offlinewjames
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Re: The "ILLUSION".... Shroooooomz~ are NOT EVIL.... [Re: GreenOsiris]
    #3985343 - 03/29/05 02:58 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Maybe the woman gave you what in times past was called the evil eye. That's no big deal.

If you still feel it affects you, you can make it go away by willpower, or by prayer.

By willpower I mean just recognizing that you have the ability to make this an issue or not and deciding that it is not.

If you are Roman Catholic or Orthodox, you can make the sign of the cross and say aloud "In the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." Understand that by doing this you are commending your soul to God's care. If you are Christian and not Catholic, any simple prayer made in Jesus' name obviously is stronger than any power the woman might or might not have. If you have another religion, improvise accordingly.

If you have no specific religion, make a small charitable gift or place a dollar in a beggar's cup with kind intention.


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"We're all in this consciousness-raising business together."
"An idle mind is the devil's workshop."
"Everyone should eat hashish, but only once." - S. Dali


Edited by wjames (03/29/05 03:01 PM)


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OfflineGreenOsiris
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Re: The "ILLUSION".... Shroooooomz~ are NOT EVIL.... [Re: wjames]
    #3986883 - 03/29/05 09:39 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Good advice

I am not religious but definitely spiritual. I wasn't really worried about the woman, just something that gave me a chill down my back. I don't feel any fear now from all of this and in the end I think it made me stronger, because I have had to face so much all at once while my perception of everything was radically warped. I am not afraid to do mushrooms, and not even afraid of having another panick attack. I will definitely be listening to my intuition from now on, but like I said the experience has made me stronger.

Shrooms are definitely not evil, nor are they good. I look at them as more of a doorway that you can look through and it is unbiased. It's all about mindset (obviously) and for me, negative music powerfully affects my mindset- always good to know what triggers emotions within yourself. This was a powerful lesson indeed and just recognizing what went down is half the battle. I guess I still am having a little trouble grasping why it all happened the way it did, but maybe I never will have any answer to that, which is ok. Anyways thanks again


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InvisibleeMotionALLmotion
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Re: The "ILLUSION".... Shroooooomz~ are NOT EVIL.... [Re: GreenOsiris]
    #3987519 - 03/29/05 11:15 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

The sublime lyrics however were almost a warning I felt rather than seting the trip, because it was already bad at that point, Sublime was my back-up.    You should trust, I believe it was the power of suggestion....  Anything leading up to the event of a trip has an effect on your trip - ESPECIALLY in one's feelings and emotions....  Some wierd stuff might have happened during your trip, but that is what happens when you trip....!    Had you not had "Evil" on your mind in the wake of a panic attack, things might have been very different....
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The dog on the other hand is a whole other piece. The way it moved and the way it sounded all were good indicators that something was very different about it. It almost seemed like it was rabid (perhaps it was).If it WAS rabbid, it WOULD have attacked you for sure, that is what rabies does - it makes animals crazy, and attacking without fear....  I think foaming at the mouth is one of the indicators....(?)  It moved "wierd" because you were tripping...!  Seeing "light" in the middle of a park when you concentrated could be considered wierd, but it wasn't because "Light" is not considered to be "evil"....  I just felt that everything was synching for a reason and I should have listened to my hunch to stay.  In your trip, you "connected" things this way....  but my friend really wanted to get out of the house because his drunken roommate would be showing up, and you know how obnoxious that can be- I'd almost prefer a crazy dog   You were forced on this trip(by yourselves) to go someplace you didn't want to go, because of the comfortable place you were at was going to get uncomfortable....  In a trip, when you force uncomfort on yourself, it is uncomfortable....  :shrug:  Being on a trip just makes you feel much more "deeply"....  I hope your next trip is much better, and without fear.... 
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Lastly the old woman never said a word to us, I think you misread and a nice old lady coming to chat doesn't quite fit the picture here. Maybe she didn't speak any English. She had an entire ten acre park to walk around and deliberately walked right next to us, I don't know why she would if she were scared of us, but again maybe she wanted to look at us for whatever reason. I know common sense tells me if I am a feeble old woman in the night why would I go up to two complete strangers who could do God knows what to me? I seriously doubt she was afraid, because she simply wouldn't have approached us(and btw we were trying to ignore her until she came right next to us staring at us).  Yep, I misread, my appologies....  Still, I find nothing strange with what she did, perhaps it was just your perception.... 
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I agree that I like to think it's all in my head, but sometimes the world spins something fierce at you and all the pieces seem to fall in place to create an atmosphere unlike anything you have seen. It seems like with the third eye open, you can create this atmosphere around you by the emotions you already have, kind of like projecting it into reality, and that's more or less what I was alluding to. I don't mean the dog wasn't real before I saw it (I hope anyways)just that everything can be amplified and it goes both ways from what you perceive to what really happens. I don't totally mean to spin this into a philosophical debate, because the meditation is something I wanted to share with people who might want to try it.
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Yeah, I was not meaning to "debate" you, but I was more trying to explain from my many past experiences of tripping of how perceptions can very well play tricks on you....  I certainly ain't doggin you....!    :lol:  I am glad you shared your experience with us, and I actually copy and pasted your park meditation session for one of those things I will be trying to do soon....  I have never meditated before, but I will learn as it has been a recent interest/curiousity of mine....  Your message was heard very clearly....  Thank you for taking the time to write this all out....    :heart:
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Good luck with your next trips, and remember, LOVE beats ALL Evil....  If I said that the power of LOVE from having faith in GOD is stronger than any force in the universe, it would make it a "Spiritual" post, so I won't say that at all....  :wink:


:sun:


--------------------
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eMotive  :sun: Divinity NowThere Infinity :sun:  eMelody


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OfflineGreenOsiris
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Re: The "ILLUSION".... Shroooooomz~ are NOT EVIL.... [Re: eMotionALLmotion]
    #3987595 - 03/29/05 11:26 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Right on emotion

I never felt like you were antagonzing me and in a large degree you are right about the perception of things being the core of the experience. Often times I feel like I look too deep into things when the answer could be as simple as you can imagine- Okhams Razor. I rarely meditate and the meditation I tried in the park was almost instantaneous which was the most surprising. I think just having a method that works for others that you follow can help lead you there a lot quicker just with the mindset that it really works, kinda like a placebo effect. Definitely would like to hear how it works for you. Peace


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Offlinekrin
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Re: The "ILLUSION".... Shroooooomz~ are NOT EVIL.... [Re: GreenOsiris]
    #3990155 - 03/30/05 02:29 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

i dont think love beats all evil,i think people only want love to beat all evil because they cant handle the fear and chaos.
if you let it consume you then it'll kick love's ass while you butcher the neighbor.
submerged in the nightmare your brain is hot with panic.

haha im just larfin'


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Invisiblemecreateme
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Re: The "ILLUSION".... Shroooooomz~ are NOT EVIL.... [Re: krin]
    #3990350 - 03/30/05 03:10 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

There is only one thing and when you realize that all the thing is is LOVE, you have reached a special place. Some call it enlightenment, others say it is being "insane," whatever you want to call it.

The fear is just an illusion love has to drape itself in.


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No ONE wants to know the ultimate TRUTH, as soon as YOU find IT out, YOU want to forget IT.

You are everything's way of feeling itself.

Happy Schwag, everygodly!


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OfflineGinseng1
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Re: The "ILLUSION".... Shroooooomz~ are NOT EVIL.... [Re: mecreateme]
    #3992835 - 03/31/05 12:26 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

It's all about the fuckin balance of life and nature dude...


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Flowing through beginningless time since time without beginning...


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Offlinekrin
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Re: The "ILLUSION".... Shroooooomz~ are NOT EVIL.... [Re: Ginseng1]
    #3993783 - 03/31/05 06:31 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

yah and its all about unity,and consciousness...and oneness
probably throw a few spirits in there
and crystal balls


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OfflineGomp
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Re: The "ILLUSION".... Shroooooomz~ are NOT EVIL.... [Re: krin]
    #3993853 - 03/31/05 08:02 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

""i don't think love beats all evil""

if love beats evil, would that make love evil.. :P

fucking for virginity, is like fighting for peace!
you do not beat evil, you do not steer away, nor suppress the bad, ...
you LOVE IT away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :wink:


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Re: The "ILLUSION".... Shroooooomz~ are NOT EVIL.... [Re: Gomp]
    #3994304 - 03/31/05 10:56 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

why does it have to go away,why cant evil be an integral part of you
sounds healthy to me

i believe in ignorance!
i know nothing,pulling soemthing out of my ass for a false sense of hope or mystery is silly


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Invisiblemecreateme
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Re: The "ILLUSION".... Shroooooomz~ are NOT EVIL.... [Re: krin]
    #3995017 - 03/31/05 01:35 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Embrace the evil if you choose, get lost in the illusion if you choose.
To each his own.


--------------------
No ONE wants to know the ultimate TRUTH, as soon as YOU find IT out, YOU want to forget IT.

You are everything's way of feeling itself.

Happy Schwag, everygodly!


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