the other night i finally dropped acid, i've been on hiatus since 2001. some of ya old timer's may recall my weekly raving ramblings of yesterday's realizations via lucy in the sky. the hiatus wasn't all by choice, sadly there were a handful of attempts with extortionist prices for bunk products, leaving me leary of my brethren hippies and occasionally pondering whether years of my life were but a mirage. well, she took me on ride down the rabbit hole and my first impression was a sad nostalgia that i had just became too damn old for the psychedelic experience. the shift in bodily sensations gave way to acute grumbliness of arthritic pains, now living in the city each broken muffler and police siren to the yakkaty yak of the tellie on the opposite end of my abode seemed to fill my throat thick with phlegm. i felt fatigued. leave it to dali. a mishap glance over his works which i had long lost interest in, perhaps too heavily linked in my neural network with a juvenile college slum lord nicotine stained walls bearing 3 foot poster's of the hallucinogenic toreador, and there it was - the heightened state of passion all heads know and love yet seldomly find ways to shed light to through the work week. i got winds how it would feel for me to bring that masterpiece into life, i could feel how the inspiration would reveal itself through each brush stroke. not a sketch pad sooner i was enchanted with art of my own --it's slightly embarassing how clumsy my approach to art sometimes is, attempting to nail down an idea rather than be vitalized by the process of its creation.
and then came the very restorative realization, the dali painting had triggered a very pleasurable shift in my neuro-chemistry. though in the beginnings now of a healthier approach to my physical fitness and health, immediately i could feel a lively vibrance from head to tow in each heart beat and breath, and the iritating sounds of the city and t.v. units were transformed into pleasurable sounds. again, embarassing to my intellect, but healthy embarassment. my back-aching, grumbly attitude was not due to uncontrolable variables like bad genetics or the screech and squeels of the city. neuro-chemically, i'm easily thrown out of balance by my sensory experience. anything from strains on muscles to a stuffy nose to sounds i don't prefer like hearing britney spears at a restaurant or south park on tv (as it stands sounds of the country side or the grateful dead usually arouse me in a pleasurable way), put into motion an abnormally hypsersenative flight or fight modality in which i suspect my brain is producing a toxic amount of adrenaline. i have made developed a lot of bad habits that fuel this toxic neuro-chemical addiction. for example, drinking whiskey works as an anesthetic and dulls out my negative sensory experiences of chronic aches and pains and must also supress the endrocine system. everything from smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee and using speed ups gives me a rush of energy, pleasure, motivation, reading and thinking from dusk until dawn ----- and spent years turning a half a dozen hot tricks (not that i believe this act is morally wrong) to get what i figure my dopamine fix, as it was what worked to balance me more out through the day, breathe easier, and affirm life. i feel rather fortunate that opiods never tickled my neurotransmitters in any appealing way (i still don't know why, it would make sense to me that i'd live for them).
the curious thing about lsd is that it is so unpredictable. unlike speed, it doesn't invoke the results i seek, in fact i'm quite sure i could have been perfectly content to feel like shit all night had i gone down that path. instead it acted as a catalyst for a total rerouting of my neural network in which my experience of satisfaction and weren't contigent on anything, including being high on acid.
the fact that this drug lends way even only to this possibility is awesome.
i hope this post finds all of you well blessings, CJ
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
|
Man, come on get creative here...we have all taken acid. I myself have had over 500 trips on LSD alone.
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
|