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Nakedly Open

Registered: 03/02/05
Posts: 931
Loc: The Womb of Love
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
Preparing for the Death of a Loved One
    #3925730 - 03/16/05 03:54 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

In the weeks or months before a loved one dies you may wish to do some of these things, as they may be beneficial for you and the person dying, i hope this advice brings as much benefit, as it has has done for me:

* Express your positive feelings for them. Tell them you love them (write a letter if you can't speak with them directly.). Don't wait until they are no longer there to discover and express your love.
* Encourage them to share their love and kindness with others. Help them remember all of the love and kindness that they have given and received from others during their lifetime.
* Encourage them to remember the beneficial things they did in their life.
* If they express regrets, listen with kindness.
* Clear up your relationship with them. If you need to forgive them or apologize to them, do that. If they apologize to you accept their amends.
* Encourage them to forgive whomever they need to forgive and to apologize to whomever they need to apologize to.
* Encourage family members to do kind things to help the dying family member.
* Talk about end-of-life issues -- "living will," medication, religious services, burial or cremation, etc. -- if and when they are willing to do so. Let go of your own agenda of what you want them to talk about or how you want them to die. Listen to them with your heart. Talk about what they want to talk about, not what you think they should think about.
* Let the person tell you how much (if any) pain medication they need. Since the person is terminal, there's no need to be concerned with addiction. On the other hand, avoid sedating them more than is needed.
* Get in touch with your own issues about death, and use your spiritual practice to help you work with them.

At the time of death:

* Make the room as quiet and peaceful as possible.
* Be peaceful and calm. Avoid crying in the room.
* Mentally give them a heartfelt hug and let them know of your love for them, but do not cling or encourage them to cling.
* If it seems necessary, remind them that their children and other family members will be all right after they pass away
* If person is of another faith, talk to them in the language of that faith -- use words, symbols, and concepts that are familiar to them. Encourage them to have faith and to generate a kind heart towards others. If they are not religious, talk about compassion or loving-kindness. That will help their mind to be calm and peaceful.
* Recite mantra or say prayers for them, quietly or out loud, depending on what is appropriate, as they are dying
* Don't do anything to bring up distress (old hurts, etc.)
* Frequently the person who is about to die will wait to die until family members have left the room and they are either alone or with someone who is not family. Don't feel that you "did something wrong" or abandoned them if they die while you are not there.
* Remember: you can't prevent anyone from dying.
* Trust them in their process and be supportive.
* Tell surrounding family members that we are fond of them (we love) them. Say thank you to them.

I have compiled this simple things after experiencing some loss in my life, i hope it is beneficial to all people here, as we all must go through these experiences in our lives. :heart:

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Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 24,851
Loc: Pandurn
Last seen: 4 months, 6 days
Re: Preparing for the Death of a Loved One [Re: egghead1]
    #3925934 - 03/16/05 04:43 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

If we don't follow these steps, will they come back as ghosts? :smirk:

Nice tips, though, it is always important to keep such a relationship with everyone at all times, I would think... there is no other time, and you really don't know when anyone will die... :grin:

:headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :satansmoking:
Peace. :mushroom2:

If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:

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irregular verb
 User Gallery

Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 21,857
Re: Preparing for the Death of a Loved One [Re: fireworks_god]
    #3926066 - 03/16/05 05:12 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

you have my condolences on your loss
most recently
we have lost keith - a humble man who
was on our street for years
i just had to mention it
he was here
now he is not.

Edited by redgreenvines (03/16/05 05:13 PM)

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The Minstrel in the Gallery

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 93,974
Loc: underbelly
Re: Preparing for the Death of a Loved One [Re: redgreenvines]
    #3929796 - 03/17/05 11:44 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Don't forget the epitaph.

Once I wasn't
Then I was
Now I ain't again.

As you have lived so you will die. Don't you think? Blessings

"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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General Interest >> Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology

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