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TODAY
Battletoad


Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,218
Loc: Metropolis City, USA
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anyone scared to experience ego death?
#3888530 - 03/08/05 05:10 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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i sure am. i've been very deep into a mushroom trip a couple times and i was way too scared to handle myself. i literally couldn't think and i was lost in a feeling foreverness where day and night and sleep and awake weren't distinguishable, moving as a robot with a mission of getting home (in the woods alone, trying to get home). i was still mentally there because i remember seeing and knowing i was extrememly fucked up but i couldn't think either well or at all, i'm not even sure.
anyways, as you may understand from reading the above, i was way confused and scared. i don't want to be there again, much less go into full ego-loss. anyone else feel with me on this? i'm scared of diving into ego-loss and even moderately high doses.
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ca'rouse (k-rouz) intr.v. To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.
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Help on the Way
Slipknot420

Registered: 08/12/00
Posts: 2,893
Loc: Another World
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: TODAY]
#3888562 - 03/08/05 05:18 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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nope already been there more than once
its the ultimate transcendence
i always flip out right before though
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*Divine Moments of Truth* "Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns - it calls me on and on across the universe" ~ John Lennon "Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" ~The Grateful Dead "Religionists, with their guaranteed eventual paradise, of which they know nothing, taking it all on 'faith,' can't be expected to understand or sympathize with those with a yen to storm the Gate of Heaven and see for themselves what all the praying's about!" ~Robert Hunter
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Ginseng1
Elegant Universe


Registered: 09/02/04
Posts: 3,310
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: TODAY]
#3888563 - 03/08/05 05:18 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Ego-loss is something that must be done under the right settings. If you eat enough mushrooms to experience ego-loss and you aren't prepared for it, the result can be an extremely nightmarish trip.
If set & setting is right and you trust the mushrooms isnt killing you, then you can definately do it.
I had the opportunity of ego-loss but denied it and fought it until i was a complete madman, because I was not in a good setting and I definately wasn't ready for it. I didn't let it happen, so I got my ass kicked. If I had just gone with it and not fought the trip, then I could have experienced ego-loss and come out better in the end.
-------------------- Flowing through beginningless time since time without beginning...
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Help on the Way
Slipknot420

Registered: 08/12/00
Posts: 2,893
Loc: Another World
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: TODAY]
#3888614 - 03/08/05 05:27 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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dmt was my favorite way
its so fast that you cant resist/panic very long before you are totally dominated by it
and then it sends you so far!
freedom from self is the best gift
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*Divine Moments of Truth* "Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns - it calls me on and on across the universe" ~ John Lennon "Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" ~The Grateful Dead "Religionists, with their guaranteed eventual paradise, of which they know nothing, taking it all on 'faith,' can't be expected to understand or sympathize with those with a yen to storm the Gate of Heaven and see for themselves what all the praying's about!" ~Robert Hunter
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Kerr
Who else would I be

Registered: 02/05/05
Posts: 1,611
Loc: My roots in the Koots
Last seen: 5 years, 3 months
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: Ginseng1]
#3888646 - 03/08/05 05:31 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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I have yet to experience ego death, but I feel that I could go with it. During my last trip, I ate 5 grams of cubensis and had the most intense experience to date. During the peak I was sprawled out on the floor with my eyes close and was experiencing CEV's.
When I opened my eyes and chilled for a minute I noticed that when I propped myself up onto my elbows, the pillow that I rested on became extremely dark. I started to stare into it, I soon felt my eyes slowly moving down. I could feel them so well and it was so smooth, the thing was I wasn't trying to do it, it just happened.(Hope that makes some sense ) They moved down until they entered the void. I found no problem losing myself in this blackness, it was actually quite enjoyable but then to no avail I clicked out of it so to speak.
I await the day when I can experience dissolving my ego and leaving this world for a while
-------------------- "Easy going and organic thoughts bent on self experimentation and knowledge and growth for the betterment of self and those around us" -Playdo the philosophiser
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TODAY
Battletoad


Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,218
Loc: Metropolis City, USA
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: Help on the Way]
#3888650 - 03/08/05 05:33 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Slipknot420 said: freedom from self is the best gift
is it? its that good? so then death must be something you are looking forward to? i'm really curious to understand this better, don't think i'm being a dick or something.
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ca'rouse (k-rouz) intr.v. To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.
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Help on the Way
Slipknot420

Registered: 08/12/00
Posts: 2,893
Loc: Another World
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: TODAY]
#3888693 - 03/08/05 05:41 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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i always come back feeling very humbled after ego death
death itself will suck and be painful and i will probably fight it the whole way
but im looking forward to returning to the ultimate state of everything/nothing and if thats not what actually happens, well im still interested in whats next.....
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*Divine Moments of Truth* "Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns - it calls me on and on across the universe" ~ John Lennon "Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" ~The Grateful Dead "Religionists, with their guaranteed eventual paradise, of which they know nothing, taking it all on 'faith,' can't be expected to understand or sympathize with those with a yen to storm the Gate of Heaven and see for themselves what all the praying's about!" ~Robert Hunter
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LilShank
TECH N9NE

Registered: 12/24/04
Posts: 400
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: TODAY]
#3888720 - 03/08/05 05:47 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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theres no reason to be afraid of ego death, i have experienced it, its just another part of the trip. sure its scary for a minute. but its nothing u cant get over, and it gives you a new outlook on things.
-------------------- Thats why ur momma got a big ol' butt (oh yeah) Thats why ur sister got a big ol' butt (oh yeah) since ur momma and ur sister got a big ol butt they helped the NiNa bust a big ol' nut
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Quankus
keep a dreamjournal


Registered: 11/18/04
Posts: 362
Loc: Benicia, CA and Monterey ...
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: LilShank]
#3888782 - 03/08/05 05:58 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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i got my ass kicked unexpectedly off too high a dose for my second time. and i was way scared, but after i realized the immense power of the shroom. ego loss isnt talked about enough, good topic TODAY.
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CyanoFriscosa
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TODAY
Battletoad


Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,218
Loc: Metropolis City, USA
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: LilShank]
#3888823 - 03/08/05 06:07 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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the only problem with my "minute" of scaryness is that the minute lasted over two hours and the two hours felt like forever. i just don't know if i can jump in all the way. i'm going to keep it as an option though, because some day i may be ready.
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ca'rouse (k-rouz) intr.v. To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: TODAY]
#3888829 - 03/08/05 06:09 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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I used to be terrified of ego death.
But not anymore. My first ego death was a total nightmare. My second, I was able to surrender peacefully and experienced all that 'total one-ness' stuff talked about here. It was beautiful.
In my observations, the first ego death is often scary. Once you know what you're doing however (in surrendering youself utterly) it can become something spectacular.
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jux
I'm better thanan STD!

Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 924
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: TODAY]
#3888837 - 03/08/05 06:10 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Why fear ego death? When the ego dies, there is nothing left to feel fear.
I like the feeling of ego death. wow, that's a conflicted statement.
I should say, the experience of becoming the experience is one that found itself enjoyable.
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Edited by jux (03/08/05 06:11 PM)
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dr0mni
My Own Messiah


Registered: 08/21/04
Posts: 2,921
Loc: USF Tampa, Fl
Last seen: 16 years, 7 months
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: jux]
#3889007 - 03/08/05 06:32 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Yes, "I" am very afraid of ego death! 
I have never had an ego-death but I will welcome it with open arms
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gdman
badger, badger,badger...


Registered: 12/10/02
Posts: 16,286
Loc: Dancing In the Streets
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: TODAY]
#3889030 - 03/08/05 06:35 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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There is nothing to fear, just accept it, be in a good enviorment. Go with the flow. You'll come back after, no need to worry.
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Got a question about a substance? Erowid might already have your answer! Have questions about the mushroom experience? The Tripper's FAQ may have your answer or someone else might have had your question before. I know up on the top you are seeing great sights, but down at the bottom we, too, should have rights. - Theodor Seuss Geisel Dr. Suess "I didn't come here to be easily understood" - Steve
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Trainwreck
No. Really.

Registered: 12/22/04
Posts: 3,563
Loc: Southern California
Last seen: 5 years, 10 months
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: gdman]
#3889136 - 03/08/05 06:49 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Maybe a little intimidated, not scared.
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pshawny
Mycobian



Registered: 09/11/04
Posts: 1,332
Loc: Shroomery
Last seen: 14 years, 11 months
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: TODAY]
#3889727 - 03/08/05 09:25 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Ego death for me the first time was kinda scary. It was my first time with mushrooms. It was in a nice quiet setting with 2 good friends, but I didn't know the power of mushrooms. We all had 2.5 grams then smoked a small bowl of mj. I had CEV's OEV's, everything was crazy. I thought my body was shutting down and I wasn't going to make it through the night, but it all turned out great. I enjoy mushrooms now that I know I'm not going to die.
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Grizzy
Explorer of mindand matter

Registered: 03/26/04
Posts: 263
Loc: Bay Area, CA - USA
Last seen: 13 years, 7 months
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: pshawny]
#3890127 - 03/08/05 10:51 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Cleanse yourself. Dismiss the current program to start anew. Abandon the prior identity that's been tainted by society and find yourself again. Give rebirth to the true soul and spirit that lies within you.
Fear not the death of the ego, but look forward to the rebirth of a more true, a more YOU...ego.
-------------------- "You already know everything, it's just a matter of time before you remember..."
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JROS14
Protege
Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 74
Loc: SF, CA
Last seen: 18 years, 9 months
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: Grizzy]
#3894919 - 03/09/05 08:28 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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ive tripped 5 or 6 times but never experienced ego death. im a bit foggy on exactly what the ego-death seems like. is it that there are multiple voices talking in your head? or that you don't know who or what you are anymore, or both? i'm not quite sure what you guys are talkin about here.
-------------------- **GRoUP HUG**
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holio1
intense

Registered: 03/18/04
Posts: 311
Loc: toronto son
Last seen: 18 years, 6 months
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: TODAY]
#3894985 - 03/09/05 08:40 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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I am not scared of it, but it sure as hell is scary before you get there. Would like to go back, but its some serious shit and I think I will wait on it for a while.
to grizz, yea its like when you dont know who/what you are. not like 'who am i what am i doing?' but more that you just completely lose any sense of 'self' and more just 'are' usually happens with eyes closed and you go away to another place for a while (may not be that long in actual time though) usually will take at the least 3.5g for the first time, it happened to me on 7  just make sure you actually are ready to go there (sort of impossible). by that i mean to say be prepared to let go entirely and not worry
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Help on the Way
Slipknot420

Registered: 08/12/00
Posts: 2,893
Loc: Another World
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: TODAY]
#3895165 - 03/09/05 09:14 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Today, i bet your experience would have been a lot better if you were somewhere safer, like somebody's house where you could just lay down and let go
when you are walking through the woods trying to get home, ego loss would definitely be an unwelcome visitor as your trying to keep it together and it's trying to pull you apart
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*Divine Moments of Truth* "Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns - it calls me on and on across the universe" ~ John Lennon "Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" ~The Grateful Dead "Religionists, with their guaranteed eventual paradise, of which they know nothing, taking it all on 'faith,' can't be expected to understand or sympathize with those with a yen to storm the Gate of Heaven and see for themselves what all the praying's about!" ~Robert Hunter
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MeThoD
MeThoD

Registered: 01/29/03
Posts: 568
Last seen: 14 years, 3 months
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: Help on the Way]
#3895738 - 03/09/05 11:03 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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The only thing that scares me about psychedelics is the possibility that I end up with a complete shit feeling in my body. I've never really bad tripped in the sense that I got scared because everything was too fucked up, just when my body feels like shit.
Ego loss is rather cool anyways.
-------------------- Every empty bowl must be filled, and a full bowl must always be emptied.
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TODAY
Battletoad


Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,218
Loc: Metropolis City, USA
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: Help on the Way]
#3896022 - 03/10/05 12:04 AM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Slipknot420 said: Today, i bet your experience would have been a lot better if you were somewhere safer, like somebody's house where you could just lay down and let go
when you are walking through the woods trying to get home, ego loss would definitely be an unwelcome visitor as your trying to keep it together and it's trying to pull you apart
it started out at my friend's house and it was so intense that i wanted to walk to the schoolyard down the street (school not in session of course). i layed down and was absorbed, melting into the ground, eyes closed and about to let go into a vortex of patterns in my eyelids, but i felt a sudden urge to throw up. i got up and started toward where i could throw up in peace b/c there were a few kids milling about and i didn't want them to see.
i never threw up but upon getting back at my friend's house i knew i couldn't stay there (i got lost in the bathroom and couldn't figure out how to do anything, good thing i didn't figure out how to get the mountain bike off the hook!!). anyways, i headed off into the hills with my mp3 player and fought the mushrooms the whole time.
the house i was in wasn't the right environment either, my friend was driving me crazy and i didn't know how to answer his endless questions or deal with his realizations and such. anyways, i feel that i maybe could dig the ego loss if i was by myself and in a comfortable place (lots of pillows and warm blankets in a safe house!).
just for shits, here's the one and only picture i managed to snap during that solo shroomy hiking escapade.
*the light blue blob in the middle at the horizon is the san francisco skyline*
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ca'rouse (k-rouz) intr.v. To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.
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Help on the Way
Slipknot420

Registered: 08/12/00
Posts: 2,893
Loc: Another World
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: TODAY]
#3896072 - 03/10/05 12:11 AM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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hahah that sounds way too much like what happened to me http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat...e=6&fpart=1
except my friends wouldnt let me leave
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*Divine Moments of Truth* "Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns - it calls me on and on across the universe" ~ John Lennon "Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" ~The Grateful Dead "Religionists, with their guaranteed eventual paradise, of which they know nothing, taking it all on 'faith,' can't be expected to understand or sympathize with those with a yen to storm the Gate of Heaven and see for themselves what all the praying's about!" ~Robert Hunter
Edited by Slipknot420 (03/10/05 12:14 AM)
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Sk8orDie
Stranger
Registered: 03/09/05
Posts: 25
Last seen: 18 years, 9 months
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: Help on the Way]
#3897515 - 03/10/05 12:04 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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I've tripped 5 times on acid and twice on shrooms (going to again next weekend... have 1/4, not sure what kind, and trying to decide how much to do) and i haven't experienced ego loss yet. The most messed up i've been was on 4.5g of shorroms. I didn't know what was going on around me. I was with 5 of my friends who were also tripping in one of there rooms and i was able to understand what they were saying and doing but couldn't understand what it all meant or why they were saying/doing it. At one point i went to go try to put a sweater on but coudln't figure out how to get it on my body. Crazy tracers everywhere.
more on the ego loss thing though. I'm looking foward to experiencing it and seeing what it's like and not so much scared, but more anxious (don't know if that's the right word) for what it's going to be like. I have a very self explanatory personality and am constantly trying to figure out how my brains working and why i am the way i am, so it's something i think i will enjoy.
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krin
Stranger


Registered: 11/20/04
Posts: 370
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: Sk8orDie]
#3898042 - 03/10/05 01:58 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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one time my ID died trying to save my ego, then freud's ghost came and rescued them both and said to be more careful so how many of you are enlightened? found oneness? happiness? mergged with the universal ConsCiousNeSs wooOOoOo
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JROS14
Protege
Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 74
Loc: SF, CA
Last seen: 18 years, 9 months
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: krin]
#3898606 - 03/10/05 04:01 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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i think im ready for ego loss but since i've never experienced before, i can't be sure. what are some ways to help let go? i heard taking deep breaths would be good. ne thing u guys do to calm down and help let go?
-------------------- **GRoUP HUG**
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: JROS14]
#3899348 - 03/10/05 06:22 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
JROS14 said: i think im ready for ego loss but since i've never experienced before, i can't be sure. what are some ways to help let go? i heard taking deep breaths would be good. ne thing u guys do to calm down and help let go?
First, go into the trip planning to let go. Make sure you are in a comfortable envirnment, preferably alone. Don't fight a single aspect of the trip. Surrender completely. Deep breathing helps! Even if you are uncomfortable, don't fight it. Just breathe and focus on that inner light inside of you. Become a passive observer, don't try to analyze what's happening, just let it happen. You can analyze when you're sober.
That's really the only advice I can give. HOpe it helps!
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Help on the Way
Slipknot420

Registered: 08/12/00
Posts: 2,893
Loc: Another World
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: MOTH]
#3900432 - 03/10/05 10:23 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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everything she said
i also think its important that you have some trust and faith in the substance your taking before you go into it...
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*Divine Moments of Truth* "Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns - it calls me on and on across the universe" ~ John Lennon "Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" ~The Grateful Dead "Religionists, with their guaranteed eventual paradise, of which they know nothing, taking it all on 'faith,' can't be expected to understand or sympathize with those with a yen to storm the Gate of Heaven and see for themselves what all the praying's about!" ~Robert Hunter
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ArdRi
traveler

Registered: 03/09/03
Posts: 41
Loc: northeast usa
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: TODAY]
#3905547 - 03/12/05 12:49 AM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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I didn't know what it was until i tried to describe an experience i had after a few grams of p. semilanceata.I wasn't in a setting conducive to comfortable ,carefree exploration . It was a small field not far out of downtown Santa Cruz,Ca .I was alone and walked off into the field as the intensity grew to get away from the bustle of civilization when suddenly a shift in my awareness occurred and it was as though my head had somehow opened up and it was just like the sky was my mind ,like there was no distinction between myself and everything else. This was not a hallucination , there were no objects superimposed onto my visual field. In fact the total absence of things in what i thought was my mind was what began to alarm me and i started to revert to self consciousness growing concerned for how i must appear to anyone happening to see me standing there looking up into the sky in that field and i suddenly began to feel naked and and urgent desire to hide gripped me beginning a rapid contraction and a descent into hell. Within moments i was on the ground praying to anyone and everyone i thought had some connection with someone who could stop me from going to hell.I think i understand that now as mental contraction, a trying to stop the unstoppable , trying to unbecome. Then the snowballing of this extreme dread began to fade as the evidence of my senses persuaded me i was probably not actually going to hell, at least not then and there and i was able to walk back into town to find some friends and talk about what happened. i was glad to know i missed being arrested with the person who gave me the libs as he had taken the rest and gone off on his own.Being hauled off in cuffs to the county jail on a high dose of liberty caps would have been inconceivable.
Edited by ArdRi (03/12/05 12:52 AM)
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The_Hobbit
Bilbo Baggins


Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 1,382
Loc: The Shire
Last seen: 16 years, 10 months
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: ArdRi]
#3905581 - 03/12/05 01:13 AM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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I think that I either experienced ego death or came very close to it when I ate 6 grams. It was the best experience of my life, but also the worst. At first, I was so happy that I was running around my house screaming at the top of my lungs because I was so happy. I thought that I had figured out life and I became the center of the universe. By that, I mean that everyone was living through me. I could see everyone all at once - I could hear what they were thinking and they could hear me because we were all one. And everyone was having a huge orgy - it was pure bliss, overflowing with emotion. But at the end of the trip I was laying on my floor, intertwined in my blanket, unable to move, and completely covered in sweat. I had a reoccuring thought that life is pointless - the feeling was indescribably horrible. I'm glad that I wasn't stuck there for more than 5-10 minutes because I was on the verge of breaking down.
I stayed in my bed for 2 days after that trip contemplating what had happened to me and what it meant. I think I figured it out a little bit, but it was a very confusing experience.
So, I would say that I'm both afraid and unafraid. I have no problem with letting go of my ego. But the power of that experience is undescribable. And that means that it could be undescribably good or undescribably bad. I'll put it like this - I think I'm stupid enough to want to try it again.
P.S. If anyone is interested in a trip report I could try to write one.
-------------------- Smoking my hobbit leaf... Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.
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TODAY
Battletoad


Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,218
Loc: Metropolis City, USA
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: The_Hobbit]
#3908534 - 03/12/05 05:54 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
hobbitcg said: I'll put it like this - I think I'm stupid enough to want to try it again.
P.S. If anyone is interested in a trip report I could try to write one.
you know what's funny? as much as i think i'm going through hell sometimes on an irresponsible dose/setting, i always dread what is going on at the moment but when i'm through with the trip i feel indescribably good and i always dose again. mushrooms really have a tight grip on me, and i welcome it.
ps. i like trip reports, most of us do...
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ca'rouse (k-rouz) intr.v. To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.
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curiouslyaware
Stranger
Registered: 03/12/05
Posts: 4
Last seen: 18 years, 10 months
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: TODAY]
#3909057 - 03/12/05 08:12 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Ok, dont know if this is in the appropriate place, but how much would one have to ingest to experience ego death? I personally or perhaps ignorantly am not afraid of such an experience, the death of something that causes humans such pain and misery (i.e. the ego) seems a grand trip! Great post! Blessed be Curious
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TODAY
Battletoad


Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,218
Loc: Metropolis City, USA
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: curiouslyaware]
#3909260 - 03/12/05 08:56 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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well, people can experience ego death on any dose really, just depends on other factors i guess. some people can eat 1/4 ounce of mushrooms (7 grams) and have an intense as hell trip fighting the shrooms the whole time and not letting them take over. i experienced very close to ego death, but not quite, on 30 grams of fresh cubensis. i experienced one hell of a trip on 1 gram of aborts...it all varies. i'd say the more shrooms consumed=the better chance of ego death.
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ca'rouse (k-rouz) intr.v. To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.
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Baton_Rouge_Voodoo
24 inch Pythons


Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 493
Loc: Sec.A-3 Row 18 Seat 10
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: TODAY]
#3909689 - 03/12/05 10:46 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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I've yet to experience it,but whenever its time I know I'm ready for it.Frankly,I don't see the point in trying to fight the shrooms,that's just begging for trouble and IMO a wasted trip.
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holio1
intense

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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: curiouslyaware]
#3910928 - 03/13/05 10:21 AM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Well if you are sure you want to go for it I suggest around 6 or 7 grams so you are not disappointed. Some can make it the first time on 4 or 5, but it could just be a high 'level 4' then.
-@ curiously aware and Baton Rouge, please read It is probably somewhat ignorantly that you two are not afraid. Before I tried such a dose I thought I was entirely ready to be blow away. Honestly I don't think anyone can be ready, but you just have to try not to fight it as much as fucking possible. It is often quite difficult initially and it's not your fault, it's just your mind fighting to hold on to what it is accustomed to. Of course, you are not going to consciously try to fight the shroom when you decide to take a 'hero' dose with intentions of ego loss. But when everything starts to fall apart, it is tough not to react
I am not trying to scare you guys out of trying for ego transcendence, it really is a great experience once you make it
Try to think of it like this: You are afraid of heights, and now you are climbing up the tallest mountain, but you cant stop going up. More likely than not, you are going to look down over the edge and its going to scare the fucking crap out of you, no matter how much you told yourself or were told by other not to look down. The key is to not be shaken by it and keep on truckin
Go for it and good luck!
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Bryan_Zoomie420
One with theuniverse

Registered: 04/07/05
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: holio1]
#4026490 - 04/07/05 01:42 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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Ego-Death is no longer something to be afraid of as long as you can identify it and not hang on to it, by just recognizing it you liberate yourself... this is one of the steps towards true realization and is an experience that will truly change wo you are... after experiencing ego-loss on a few occasions i feel more whole, as if i have focused my being into one consolidated energy, without the ego i dont play the social games, or hide who i am, i have become a pure being of conciousness through ego-loss... dont be afraid, resistance is futile, the stronger you cling to your ego the more of an ego you will have...
-------------------- "Be the change you wish to see in the world" -Ghandi
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Hrethic
A Human, Being

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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: Bryan_Zoomie420]
#4026803 - 04/07/05 02:51 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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I am, but i only because i've been to some very very odd states, and yet i wouldn't classify any of them as being ego death. And some of those states have been quite scary, and some completely and utterly overpowering. Yet also some i'd say were some of the best times of my life so far. So i don't really know how much farther i'd have to go to reach that state... but yeah, i'm afraid. I'm also very much looking forward to it, because like my first trip in comparison to reality, i think this will be a whole new world in comparison to tripping.
-------------------- Will all the big boomers please unveil, please unveil, please unveil.
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Ginseng1
Elegant Universe


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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: Hrethic]
#4027725 - 04/07/05 06:06 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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If you fight an ego-loss trip with negativity, then the trip will become increasingly more negative (i.e. Hellish).
Negativity feeds negativity, therefore, if you fight the trip, you will experience a reflection of the negativity you are outputting.
An example:
I once had a trip where I started loosing control of my visual field and thoughts. I started hallucinating HARD and loosing grip on reality. I began to fight the feelings and sensations of the trip by identifying them as demons. They were taking over me. They started to piss me off! I got the feeling that I was beginning loosing myself and I hated it! It was an absolutely hanus feeling of loosing my sanity and my life. I began yelling at these demons to "FUCK OFF!! You can't take me! I'm not scared of you, I won't let you!", and they become even more powerful. They began tossing my mind and my ego around like a rag-doll, at high and violent speeds. I lost complete control. When I came back, I coulnd't believe that all that was experienced was a result of just some human taking some powerful mushrooms. I went to places on this planet that I never deamed possible. I had forgotten that I ate mushrooms, once I began identifying their effects as "demons". They turned into demons, because that's what I wanted them to be, for me to be able fight them. Little did I know, the illusion of your ego is no match for the reality of perception. And a physical fight (Yes, things got physical), is no match for ego-loss.
It was the biggest battle vs. self I have ever experienced.
-------------------- Flowing through beginningless time since time without beginning...
Edited by Ginseng1 (04/07/05 06:12 PM)
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browndustin
dustybuddy

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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: Ginseng1]
#4027771 - 04/07/05 06:21 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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The environment I was in when I first experienced ego death was horrendous. It was such a shitty, scary time for me but in the end I had the best come down ever. I got "saved" from a friend who drove me around all day despite being shitfaced, I met up with a ton of friends and rode the rest out realizing that the bad experiences are what you learn from ultimately.
It all has to do with your perspective which is greatly impacted by your surroundings. Now ego "loss" is something that I'm much more accustomed to, and even something I've tried to achieve again but in a much more relaxed and controlled setting. Do it in a place where only a finite amount of variables can take place, say at a warm cabin or a friends place where there will be little to no suprises (No party settings, parents, or any sketchiness).
Ego loss shouldn't be something to fear. It's something that everyone should some day welcome and embrace, as you will learn so much about yourself from a perspective you never have the opportunity to view. It's definitely good stuff, just be in a place that's warm and loving. You can't be prepared to not be yourself, because that just doesn't make sense. What does make sense is tripping with a loved one or in an environment that's familiar.
-------------------- When the stress burns my brain it's like acid raindrops maryjane is the only thing that makes the pain stop
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Kalix
'Head

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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: Ginseng1]
#4027802 - 04/07/05 06:29 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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2CI is the only substance that ever caused me complete ego-loss (as I would describe it) I ate 65 mg, according to Erowid that is an unsafe dose.. I was laying on my friend hard-wood floor, and listening to trance music. I had an out of body experience, where I watched my physical body die, it decomposed, and over eons became a fossil. The fossil was mined by funny-looking creatures, and processed into a plastic. The plastic was incorporated into a vehicle of some sort. Satan was driving around in the vehicle I was a component of looking like a big hairy homo prison guard. Over time the vehicle ran down, and the plastic decomposed. I became some sort of vapor, and was dancing through the atmosphere, with other molecules. It was wonderful!
But, before all this amazing shit happened, I had caught a glimpse of a light coming from the basement, which I immediately assumed was the first flash of an atomic bomb. For an extremely long time, I thought over and over to myself 'This is the last thought I will ever have time to think'. After about an hour of repeating this bizarre Mantra, I realized that no nuclear blast was coming, and I layed back and relaxed...
The moral of the story, Ego death, before it happens is horrifying, because your ego is your social identity. It is you. So when it is forced out of your body, you feel like YOU are dying, but your ego is only a small part of you. It is not your body, or your immortal energy, if you can grasp that, it leaves with a regretful sigh, until the dosage you took wears off. There's nothing to fear but fear itself
-------------------- My Unitarian Jihad Name is: The Shotgun of Sweet Reason
Edited by Kalix (04/07/05 06:31 PM)
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Damn
Psychonaut


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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: Kalix]
#4028425 - 04/07/05 08:36 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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im going to try it again very soon, my last trip on 6 grams in insanity, i fought it even though i planed and prepared so hard not to. but it still happened, and it was amazing, it can be scary, but you will be fine, no matter what, you just gotta ride it out, the mushrooms wont hurt you.
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Damn
Psychonaut


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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: Damn]
#4028674 - 04/07/05 09:22 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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i think the only thing im scared about is the fact that i feel like i have no control, as if my body is going to do something like scream or walk outside without me controling it or even knowing , anyone else get this?
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop


Registered: 08/20/04
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: TODAY]
#4028726 - 04/07/05 09:28 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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I got ego-death my first time tripping......full-blown Clear Light experience, and it was the most wonderful thing I've ever experienced. Ego-death isn't scary....the trip there can be however. my first time experiencing it was on a little of 3 hits of white fluff and nitrous.....the peak of the LSD was over, but I was still tripping fairly hard, and I had total ego-loss borderline ego-death off the LSD itself. This was at a small music festival, anyway, I was smoking, drinking a couple beers and doing nitrous balloons....the last balloon I wound up hitting until I fished out (this was unintentional.)
Anyone that is experienced with LSD, particularly the Clear Light will know what I'm attempting (not very well I might add) to describe here; the "lighting" or "brightness" keep going up, brighter and brighter, lighter and lighter...the colors were changing as well...into a goldish hue (it wasn't exactly gold, but that's the closest thing to it.) Then everything was gone, there was no me, no world, no thoughts, no time...just pure unadulterated bliss, and a brilliant white light everywhere. As this state was induced by the addition of nitrous to the acid, it faded quickly...while I was there it seemed like an eternity, but once I was back, I was back......and I had no idea of what happened. This was fairly traumatic at the time, but it was well worth it. I'm very lucky....not many people get to go all the way on there first trip. So......no, I'm not scared of ego-death, quite the opposite in fact, I love it, I embrace it, I strive for it......this first time was a real gift though, because it was due to nitrous there was no "dying period", it happened in a flash....as I said the return to this life and "reality" wasn't so easy though. Most of the time you have to "die" to get there, and this experience ranges through all of the emotions, blissful, nostalgic to terrified and ashamed....that part scares me, but I accept it....all of the painful parts of it are due to negative actions, thoughts and feelings you've had throughout your life, so....you reap what you have sown. The experience of ego-death is indescribably beautiful, and very refreshing....knowing what death is like can enrich your life to the Nth degree, and it makes you a better person....it's definitely worth trying IMHO.
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gdman
badger, badger,badger...


Registered: 12/10/02
Posts: 16,286
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: Damn]
#4028736 - 04/07/05 09:30 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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When experiencing ego loss on mushrooms, you usually don't move around very much. You just sort of sit there.
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Got a question about a substance? Erowid might already have your answer! Have questions about the mushroom experience? The Tripper's FAQ may have your answer or someone else might have had your question before. I know up on the top you are seeing great sights, but down at the bottom we, too, should have rights. - Theodor Seuss Geisel Dr. Suess "I didn't come here to be easily understood" - Steve
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Damn
Psychonaut


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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: gdman]
#4032543 - 04/08/05 09:19 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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i dont fear the ego-death on 7grams, i fear that my body is going to be running around doing crazy things. because i know im not in my body, and its pretty hard to find your body when your in complete darkness, and everywhere you reach is nothing. i think i need to try this with the lights dimmed, not off. my mind goes absolutely nutty , i feel as if my mind and body arent anywhere near each other, and they both have no control. there are hours in my trip where i dont know what happened. im hopin when the time is right 5 grams wil ldo the job. i just need to calm down, but its not so easy when the mushrooms take over. il lget it down one of thesedays.
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ArdRi
traveler

Registered: 03/09/03
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Loc: northeast usa
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: TODAY]
#4032756 - 04/08/05 10:33 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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TODAY, did you hang out in Santa Cruz in the 80's? I knew a guy there then who went by the name Today.Let me know if you did.Chris
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alsey
meet me in thedreamtimewater...

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 1,203
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: Dark_Star]
#4033410 - 04/09/05 04:37 AM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Dark_Star said: Anyone that is experienced with LSD, particularly the Clear Light will know what I'm attempting (not very well I might add) to describe here; the "lighting" or "brightness" keep going up, brighter and brighter, lighter and lighter...the colors were changing as well...into a goldish hue (it wasn't exactly gold, but that's the closest thing to it.) Then everything was gone, there was no me, no world, no thoughts, no time...just pure unadulterated bliss, and a brilliant white light everywhere. As this state was induced by the addition of nitrous to the acid, it faded quickly...while I was there it seemed like an eternity, but once I was back, I was back......and I had no idea of what happened. This was fairly traumatic at the time, but it was well worth it.
i know exactly what you mean. my second acid trip was like a level 4 for most of the peak, but a couple of hits of nitrous sent me to that next level for a few minutes (of real time). there was just light. everything else was meaningless.
-------------------- "Gently return to the simple physical sensation of the breath. Then do it again, and again, and again. Somewhere in this process, you will come face-to-face with the sudden and shocking realization that you are completely crazy. Your mind is a shrieking, gibbering madhouse on wheels." - ven. henepola gunaratana
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andrep
Stranger
Registered: 04/16/05
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: alsey]
#4064220 - 04/17/05 12:18 AM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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i really want to take shrooms again, i tried to fight the ego death thing when i first did shrooms, i tihkn if you fight the egodeath the trip will be bad
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novice_psychonaut
No One of Import



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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: Ginseng1]
#25239329 - 05/30/18 09:54 PM (5 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Ginseng1 said: Ego-loss is something that must be done under the right settings. If you eat enough mushrooms to experience ego-loss and you aren't prepared for it, the result can be an extremely nightmarish trip.
If set & setting is right and you trust the mushrooms isnt killing you, then you can definately do it.
I had the opportunity of ego-loss but denied it and fought it until i was a complete madman, because I was not in a good setting and I definately wasn't ready for it. I didn't let it happen, so I got my ass kicked. If I had just gone with it and not fought the trip, then I could have experienced ego-loss and come out better in the end.
Oh man, so true. I had a very bad experience disorientedly fighting ego death on 5.5g last year. If you give the shrooms the keys, you'd better be okay with where they drive you (easier said than done, as I'm still learning that lesson).
-------------------- As long as there exist two slices of bread, and based on a loose definition of the word "between," the entire universe can technically be considered a sandwich.
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