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OfflineMeThoD
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Registered: 01/29/03
Posts: 568
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: Help on the Way]
    #3895738 - 03/10/05 01:03 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

The only thing that scares me about psychedelics is the possibility that I end up with a complete shit feeling in my body. I've never really bad tripped in the sense that I got scared because everything was too fucked up, just when my body feels like shit.

Ego loss is rather cool anyways.


--------------------
Every empty bowl must be filled, and a full bowl must always be emptied.


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InvisibleTODAY
Battletoad
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Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,218
Loc: Metropolis City, USA
Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: Help on the Way]
    #3896022 - 03/10/05 02:04 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Slipknot420 said:
Today, i bet your experience would have been a lot better if you were somewhere safer, like somebody's house where you could just lay down and let go

when you are walking through the woods trying to get home, ego loss would definitely be an unwelcome visitor as your trying to keep it together and it's trying to pull you apart




it started out at my friend's house and it was so intense that i wanted to walk to the schoolyard down the street (school not in session of course). i layed down and was absorbed, melting into the ground, eyes closed and about to let go into a vortex of patterns in my eyelids, but i felt a sudden urge to throw up. i got up and started toward where i could throw up in peace b/c there were a few kids milling about and i didn't want them to see.

i never threw up but upon getting back at my friend's house i knew i couldn't stay there (i got lost in the bathroom and couldn't figure out how to do anything, good thing i didn't figure out how to get the mountain bike off the hook!!). anyways, i headed off into the hills with my mp3 player and fought the mushrooms the whole time.

the house i was in wasn't the right environment either, my friend was driving me crazy and i didn't know how to answer his endless questions or deal with his realizations and such. anyways, i feel that i maybe could dig the ego loss if i was by myself and in a comfortable place (lots of pillows and warm blankets in a safe house!).

just for shits, here's the one and only picture i managed to snap during that solo shroomy hiking escapade.

*the light blue blob in the middle at the horizon is the san francisco skyline*



--------------------

ca'rouse (k-rouz)
intr.v.
To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.


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InvisibleHelp on the Way
Slipknot420

Registered: 08/13/00
Posts: 2,893
Loc: Another World
Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: TODAY]
    #3896072 - 03/10/05 02:11 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

hahah that sounds way too much like what happened to me
http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat...e=6&fpart=1

except my friends wouldnt let me leave


--------------------
:shocked: *Divine Moments of Truth* :shocked:


"Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns - it calls me on and on across the universe" ~ John Lennon

"Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" ~The Grateful Dead

"Religionists, with their guaranteed eventual paradise, of which they know nothing, taking it all on 'faith,' can't be expected to understand or sympathize with those with a yen to storm the Gate of Heaven and see for themselves what all the praying's about!" ~Robert Hunter


Edited by Slipknot420 (03/10/05 02:14 AM)


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OfflineSk8orDie
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Registered: 03/09/05
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: Help on the Way]
    #3897515 - 03/10/05 02:04 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

I've tripped 5 times on acid and twice on shrooms (going to again next weekend... have 1/4, not sure what kind, and trying to decide how much to do) and i haven't experienced ego loss yet. The most messed up i've been was on 4.5g of shorroms. I didn't know what was going on around me. I was with 5 of my friends who were also tripping in one of there rooms and i was able to understand what they were saying and doing but couldn't understand what it all meant or why they were saying/doing it. At one point i went to go try to put a sweater on but coudln't figure out how to get it on my body. Crazy tracers everywhere.

more on the ego loss thing though. I'm looking foward to experiencing it and seeing what it's like and not so much scared, but more anxious (don't know if that's the right word) for what it's going to be like. I have a very self explanatory personality and am constantly trying to figure out how my brains working and why i am the way i am, so it's something i think i will enjoy.


--------------------


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Offlinekrin
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: Sk8orDie]
    #3898042 - 03/10/05 03:58 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

one time my ID died trying to save my ego, then freud's ghost came and rescued them both and said to be more careful
so how many of you are enlightened?
found oneness?
happiness?
mergged with the universal ConsCiousNeSs
wooOOoOo


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OfflineJROS14
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Registered: 11/16/04
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: krin]
    #3898606 - 03/10/05 06:01 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

i think im ready for ego loss but since i've never experienced before, i can't be sure. what are some ways to help let go? i heard taking deep breaths would be good. ne thing u guys do to calm down and help let go?


--------------------
**GRoUP HUG**


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InvisibleMOTH
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Registered: 06/06/03
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: JROS14]
    #3899348 - 03/10/05 08:22 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

JROS14 said:
i think im ready for ego loss but since i've never experienced before, i can't be sure.  what are some ways to help let go?  i heard taking deep breaths would be good.  ne thing u guys do to calm down and help let go?




First, go into the trip planning to let go.  Make sure you are in a comfortable envirnment, preferably alone.  Don't fight a single aspect of the trip.  Surrender completely.  Deep breathing helps!  Even if you are uncomfortable, don't fight it.  Just breathe and focus on that inner light inside of you.  Become a passive observer, don't try to analyze what's happening, just let it happen.  You can analyze when you're sober. 

That's really the only advice I can give.  HOpe it helps!  :smile:


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InvisibleHelp on the Way
Slipknot420

Registered: 08/13/00
Posts: 2,893
Loc: Another World
Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: MOTH]
    #3900432 - 03/11/05 12:23 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

everything she said

i also think its important that you have some trust and faith in the substance your taking before you go into it...


--------------------
:shocked: *Divine Moments of Truth* :shocked:


"Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns - it calls me on and on across the universe" ~ John Lennon

"Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" ~The Grateful Dead

"Religionists, with their guaranteed eventual paradise, of which they know nothing, taking it all on 'faith,' can't be expected to understand or sympathize with those with a yen to storm the Gate of Heaven and see for themselves what all the praying's about!" ~Robert Hunter


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OfflineArdRi
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Registered: 03/09/03
Posts: 41
Loc: northeast usa
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: TODAY]
    #3905547 - 03/12/05 02:49 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

I didn't know what it was until i tried to describe an experience i had after a few grams of p. semilanceata.I wasn't in a setting conducive to comfortable ,carefree exploration . It was a small field not far out of downtown Santa Cruz,Ca .I was alone and walked off into the field as the intensity grew to get away from the bustle of civilization when suddenly a shift in my awareness occurred and it was as though my head had somehow opened up and it was just like the sky was my mind ,like there was no distinction between myself and everything else. This was not a hallucination , there were no objects superimposed onto my visual field. In fact the total absence of things in what i thought was my mind was what began to alarm me and i started to revert to self consciousness growing concerned for how i must appear to anyone happening to see me standing there looking up into the sky in that field and i suddenly began to feel naked and and urgent desire to hide gripped me beginning a rapid contraction and a descent into hell. Within moments i was on the ground praying to anyone and everyone i thought had some connection with someone who could stop me from going to hell.I think i understand that now as mental contraction, a trying to stop the unstoppable , trying to unbecome. Then the snowballing of this extreme dread began to fade as the evidence of my senses persuaded me i was probably not actually going to hell, at least not then and there and i was able to walk back into town to find some friends and talk about what happened. i was glad to know i missed being arrested with the person who gave me the libs as he had taken the rest and gone off on his own.Being hauled off in cuffs to the county jail on a high dose of liberty caps would have been inconceivable.



Edited by ArdRi (03/12/05 02:52 AM)


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OfflineThe_Hobbit
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: ArdRi]
    #3905581 - 03/12/05 03:13 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

I think that I either experienced ego death or came very close to it when I ate 6 grams. It was the best experience of my life, but also the worst. At first, I was so happy that I was running around my house screaming at the top of my lungs because I was so happy. I thought that I had figured out life and I became the center of the universe. By that, I mean that everyone was living through me. I could see everyone all at once - I could hear what they were thinking and they could hear me because we were all one. And everyone was having a huge orgy - it was pure bliss, overflowing with emotion. But at the end of the trip I was laying on my floor, intertwined in my blanket, unable to move, and completely covered in sweat. I had a reoccuring thought that life is pointless - the feeling was indescribably horrible. I'm glad that I wasn't stuck there for more than 5-10 minutes because I was on the verge of breaking down.

I stayed in my bed for 2 days after that trip contemplating what had happened to me and what it meant. I think I figured it out a little bit, but it was a very confusing experience.

So, I would say that I'm both afraid and unafraid. I have no problem with letting go of my ego. But the power of that experience is undescribable. And that means that it could be undescribably good or undescribably bad. I'll put it like this - I think I'm stupid enough to want to try it again.

P.S. If anyone is interested in a trip report I could try to write one.


--------------------
Smoking my hobbit leaf...
Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.


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InvisibleTODAY
Battletoad
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Registered: 09/25/03
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Loc: Metropolis City, USA
Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: The_Hobbit]
    #3908534 - 03/12/05 07:54 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

hobbitcg said:
I'll put it like this - I think I'm stupid enough to want to try it again.

P.S. If anyone is interested in a trip report I could try to write one.




you know what's funny? as much as i think i'm going through hell sometimes on an irresponsible dose/setting, i always dread what is going on at the moment but when i'm through with the trip i feel indescribably good and i always dose again.  mushrooms really have a tight grip on me, and i welcome it.

ps.  i like trip reports, most of us do... :wink:


--------------------

ca'rouse (k-rouz)
intr.v.
To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.


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Offlinecuriouslyaware
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: TODAY]
    #3909057 - 03/12/05 10:12 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Ok, dont know if this is in the appropriate place, but how much would one have to ingest to experience ego death? I personally or perhaps ignorantly am not afraid of such an experience, the death of something that causes humans such pain and misery (i.e. the ego) seems a grand trip!
Great post!
Blessed be
Curious


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InvisibleTODAY
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: curiouslyaware]
    #3909260 - 03/12/05 10:56 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

well, people can experience ego death on any dose really, just depends on other factors i guess. some people can eat 1/4 ounce of mushrooms (7 grams) and have an intense as hell trip fighting the shrooms the whole time and not letting them take over. i experienced very close to ego death, but not quite, on 30 grams of fresh cubensis. i experienced one hell of a trip on 1 gram of aborts...it all varies. i'd say the more shrooms consumed=the better chance of ego death.


--------------------

ca'rouse (k-rouz)
intr.v.
To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.


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InvisibleBaton_Rouge_Voodoo
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: TODAY]
    #3909689 - 03/13/05 12:46 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

I've yet to experience it,but whenever its time I know I'm ready for it.Frankly,I don't see the point in trying to fight the shrooms,that's just begging for trouble and IMO a wasted trip.


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Offlineholio1
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Registered: 03/19/04
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: curiouslyaware]
    #3910928 - 03/13/05 12:21 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Well if you are sure you want to go for it I suggest around 6 or 7 grams so you are not disappointed. Some can make it the first time on 4 or 5, but it could just be a high 'level 4' then.

-@ curiously aware and Baton Rouge, please read
It is probably somewhat ignorantly that you two are not afraid. Before I tried such a dose I thought I was entirely ready to be blow away. Honestly I don't think anyone can be ready, but you just have to try not to fight it as much as fucking possible. It is often quite difficult initially and it's not your fault, it's just your mind fighting to hold on to what it is accustomed to.
Of course, you are not going to consciously try to fight the shroom when you decide to take a 'hero' dose with intentions of ego loss. But when everything starts to fall apart, it is tough not to react

I am not trying to scare you guys out of trying for ego transcendence, it really is a great experience once you make it

Try to think of it like this:
You are afraid of heights, and now you are climbing up the tallest mountain, but you cant stop going up. More likely than not, you are going to look down over the edge and its going to scare the fucking crap out of you, no matter how much you told yourself or were told by other not to look down. The key is to not be shaken by it and keep on truckin

Go for it and good luck!


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OfflineBryan_Zoomie420
One with theuniverse

Registered: 04/07/05
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: holio1]
    #4026490 - 04/07/05 03:42 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

Ego-Death is no longer something to be afraid of as long as you can identify it and not hang on to it, by just recognizing it you liberate yourself... this is one of the steps towards true realization and is an experience that will truly change wo you are...
after experiencing ego-loss on a few occasions i feel more whole, as if i have focused my being into one consolidated energy, without the ego i dont play the social games, or hide who i am, i have become a pure being of conciousness through ego-loss...
dont be afraid, resistance is futile, the stronger you cling to your ego the more of an ego you will have...


--------------------
"Be the change you wish to see in the world"
-Ghandi


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OfflineHrethic
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Registered: 01/06/04
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: Bryan_Zoomie420]
    #4026803 - 04/07/05 04:51 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

I am, but i only because i've been to some very very odd states, and yet i wouldn't classify any of them as being ego death. And some of those states have been quite scary, and some completely and utterly overpowering. Yet also some i'd say were some of the best times of my life so far. So i don't really know how much farther i'd have to go to reach that state... but yeah, i'm afraid. I'm also very much looking forward to it, because like my first trip in comparison to reality, i think this will be a whole new world in comparison to tripping.


--------------------
Will all the big boomers please unveil, please unveil, please unveil.


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OfflineGinseng1
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: Hrethic]
    #4027725 - 04/07/05 08:06 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

If you fight an ego-loss trip with negativity, then the trip will become increasingly more negative (i.e. Hellish).

Negativity feeds negativity, therefore, if you fight the trip, you will experience a reflection of the negativity you are outputting.

An example:

I once had a trip where I started loosing control of my visual field and thoughts. I started hallucinating HARD and loosing grip on reality. I began to fight the feelings and sensations of the trip by identifying them as demons. They were taking over me. They started to piss me off! I got the feeling that I was beginning loosing myself and I hated it! It was an absolutely hanus feeling of loosing my sanity and my life. I began yelling at these demons to "FUCK OFF!! You can't take me! I'm not scared of you, I won't let you!", and they become even more powerful. They began tossing my mind and my ego around like a rag-doll, at high and violent speeds. I lost complete control. When I came back, I coulnd't believe that all that was experienced was a result of just some human taking some powerful mushrooms. I went to places on this planet that I never deamed possible. I had forgotten that I ate mushrooms, once I began identifying their effects as "demons". They turned into demons, because that's what I wanted them to be, for me to be able fight them. Little did I know, the illusion of your ego is no match for the reality of perception. And a physical fight (Yes, things got physical), is no match for ego-loss.

It was the biggest battle vs. self I have ever experienced.


--------------------
Flowing through beginningless time since time without beginning...


Edited by Ginseng1 (04/07/05 08:12 PM)


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Offlinebrowndustin
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Registered: 10/03/03
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: Ginseng1]
    #4027771 - 04/07/05 08:21 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

The environment I was in when I first experienced ego death was horrendous. It was such a shitty, scary time for me but in the end I had the best come down ever. I got "saved" from a friend who drove me around all day despite being shitfaced, I met up with a ton of friends and rode the rest out realizing that the bad experiences are what you learn from ultimately.

It all has to do with your perspective which is greatly impacted by your surroundings. Now ego "loss" is something that I'm much more accustomed to, and even something I've tried to achieve again but in a much more relaxed and controlled setting. Do it in a place where only a finite amount of variables can take place, say at a warm cabin or a friends place where there will be little to no suprises (No party settings, parents, or any sketchiness).

Ego loss shouldn't be something to fear. It's something that everyone should some day welcome and embrace, as you will learn so much about yourself from a perspective you never have the opportunity to view. It's definitely good stuff, just be in a place that's warm and loving. You can't be prepared to not be yourself, because that just doesn't make sense. What does make sense is tripping with a loved one or in an environment that's familiar.


--------------------
When the stress burns my brain it's like acid raindrops
maryjane is the only thing that makes the pain stop


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OfflineKalix
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Registered: 03/20/05
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Re: anyone scared to experience ego death? [Re: Ginseng1]
    #4027802 - 04/07/05 08:29 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

  2CI is the only substance that ever caused me complete ego-loss (as I would describe it) I ate 65 mg, according to Erowid that is an unsafe dose.. I was laying on my friend hard-wood floor, and listening to trance music. I had an out of body experience, where I watched my physical body die, it decomposed, and over eons became a fossil. The fossil was mined by funny-looking creatures, and processed into a plastic. The plastic was incorporated into a vehicle of some sort. Satan was driving around in the vehicle I was a component of looking like a big hairy homo prison guard. Over time the vehicle ran down, and the plastic decomposed. I became some sort of vapor, and was dancing through the atmosphere, with other molecules. It was wonderful!

  But, before all this amazing shit happened, I had caught a glimpse of a light coming from the basement, which I immediately assumed was the first flash of an atomic bomb. For an extremely long time, I thought over and over to myself 'This is the last thought I will ever have time to think'. After about an hour of repeating this bizarre Mantra, I realized that no nuclear blast was coming, and I layed back and relaxed... 

  The moral of the story, Ego death, before it happens is horrifying, because your ego is your social identity. It is you. So when it is forced out of your body, you feel like YOU are dying, but your ego is only a small part of you. It is not your body, or your immortal energy, if you can grasp that, it leaves with a regretful sigh, until the dosage you took wears off. There's nothing to fear but fear itself :wink:


--------------------


My Unitarian Jihad Name is: The Shotgun of Sweet Reason


Edited by Kalix (04/07/05 08:31 PM)


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